Name: Five Anton Fig Moments on Letterman, 1989-93
Uploaded: 2018-10-31T23:00:40.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Five Anton Fig Moments on Letterman, 1989-93' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-10-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Five Anton Fig Moments on Letterman, 1989-93' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-10-31. Transcript available.

the
Anton, haven't seen you since we were kids.
Yeah, great to see you. What have you been up to, Ringo?
Oh, not too much. In a few bands. You know, I was with the Beatles.
Yeah, they were pretty popular, right?
Yeah, they were. Married Barbara Bach.
Oh, that's great.
What have you been up to?
Um, well, I've been in prison.
Ah, well, I'll see you next time, Ringo, and give us a call.
All right, thanks.
Anton, why didn't you tell him you were the drummer on the show?
Oh, that was, uh, that was a bit of shame.
Oh, man. Excuse me.
Thank you, boys. All right, let's get to our viewer mail.
Should we, should we drop one in the interest of time?
We're okay.
We're okay?
I would never do that to my audience.
The viewer mail, I keep, every week I forget about the viewer mail theme.
The viewer mail theme composed by Mr. Henry Mancini.
I know, but just because we paid for it, does that mean we have to use it every
week?
Well, we promised him we'd play it.
It's like cartoon playhouses next week.
You don't like Mr. Mancini's composing?
No, I love the song. I just said I forget about it from week to week.
You have something against Moon River?
No, I don't have anything against anything.
How do you feel about the Pink Panther?
I love them all.
I see.
Viewer mail, ladies and gentlemen, letter number one begins,
Dear Dave, you know those tiles on the ceiling of the Lincoln Tunnel.
When do they fall?
And when they do, who picks them up?
And when they do, how do they do it with all those cars whizzing by?
A couple of wondering watchers, Maria Jones and John Hillman, Utica, New York.
Well, Maria, gosh, and John, thank you very much for sending us this wonderful
Andy Rooney transcript.
I was supposed to hit the confetti, but it's such a mess out here already that
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
Dave, I just wanted to get what?
What the hell are you doing?
I'm sorry, Paul.
I just had to clear the air.
I'm sorry.
I'm afraid your days as an informer are over.
Well, thanks a lot, pal.
I'll have to return the favor someday.
Wait a minute, Paul.
Where are you going?
What are you doing with the suitcase?
Where am I going with the suitcase?
I'm getting the first plane out of the country.
Thanks to you.
My life's not worth a damn.
Wait a minute, Paul.
You're overreacting as well as overacting.
I'm sure that Mr. Ayakana will just give you a stern talking to and forget the
whole thing.
Yeah?
Fat chance.
Oh, no, Paul.
That's too bad.
Watch out for the soccer ball.
Ladies and gentlemen, Paul Schaefer.
Paul, come out here.
Nice job, Paul.
Really very nice.
Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
And now, the real star of the piece, film coordinator Rick Sheckman.
Rick, come on out here.
Rick, nice job.
Rick Sheckman, ladies and gentlemen.
You know what we needed there?
We needed some footage of a guy getting into a car and getting blown up and you
came through
and got the footage.
Of course, it was old and it was grainy and it was obviously dated and the guy
looked nothing
like Paul.
But it worked in the piece and for your ongoing excellence as film coordinator,
we're giving
you cable television's highest honor, the coveted Ace Award.
Congratulations.
Nice job.
Rick Sheckman, ladies and gentlemen.
Do you have time for all of this?
Really?
I don't know.
Dear Mr. Letterman, number three begins.
What did Paul Schaefer and Biff Henderson do before you catapulted them to
national prominence?
Dearly, Marcus Doyle, Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada.
Well, Marcus, as most viewers know, Paul and Biff were doing pretty well right
here at NBC
long before we went on the air.
Here, take a look at this.
There you go.
I think you get the idea of what we're discussing.
Here's Paul and Biff.
Dave, come on.
We have done that dummy photo gag a thousand times.
I feel it hurts the show to keep doing the same old crap week in and week out.
Yeah, well, listen, Paul, maybe you feel a little bit differently about the dummied
up photo gag when you see the dummied up headlines in the newspapers.
All right?
You know, the fake headlines are even stupider than the dummy photo.
You're taking a tired old joke and you're stretching it out even longer.
Yeah, okay.
Excuse me, Paul.
One more.
Take a look at this last dummied up headline.
Actually, I guess it was a pretty funny letter after all.
On second thought.
Sorry about the humorous letter.
I'm not going to do letter number four.
Letter number five.
Is everyone in place for letter number five?
We're calling an audible.
We're calling an audible.
It's letter number five.
I've read the defense.
I'm changing the play.
Letter number five.
Dear Dave, I remember when your show first aired back in the late 60s.
Paul looked scared every time you axed him a question.
Now it seems like you can't shut him up.
All this confidence.
Just curious.
Tim Stein, Shawnee, Kansas.
Good question.
Paul, where do you get that wonderful, growing, glowing sense of confidence
that you radiate?
Well, I've acquired a lot of inner peace.
Inner strength, if you will.
From my hobby.
Raising and collecting butterflies.
Oh, that's great.
That's nice.
And those are actually living butterflies you have in there, Paul?
They should be, yeah.
They would have been living if the AC had been on.
Yes, they are.
They are such a living butterflies.
And, you know, I love watching these beautiful and gentle creatures.
Well, bang the cage once and see what happens.
I can even --
There, look at them jumping around.
Sometimes it helps --
Sometimes it helps if I sing to them a little bit.
Uh-huh.
All right.
Oh, little butterfly.
You fly so high.
Uh-huh.
As you go by.
Paul collecting butterflies.
What a sissy.
What next?
Paper dolls?
Where do you take your butterflies?
To the ballet?
Why don't you show them the dance of the sugar plum fairy?
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Go, my pretties.
Kill!
Kill!
KILL!
Welcome back to the program.
Coming up in this half hour, what did you think of Gene and Roger?
They're nice, aren't they?
They're lovely, yeah.
They're interesting and fascinating to listen to the way they kind of bicker
among themselves.
Friendly competition, I like to call them.
From the S.E. Johnson Raid Center for Insect Control, Keith Kennedy will be
here.
And I guess we have some insects that we're going to demonstrate how these
various insecticides work.
And tomorrow on the program, actress Catherine O'Hara.
Ladies and gentlemen, Anton Figg.
Hi.
Anton Figg, our drummer, ladies and gentlemen.
Nice to see you, Anton.
What brings you over here?
Well, I was just over there playing the drums like I do every night, and I
thought tonight I'd stop over and say hi.
Yeah.
It's a very nice surprise.
What have you been up to?
Well, I've been over there playing drums with a band most of the time.
And what brings you here tonight?
Well, I wanted to remind the people that I have something special coming up on
NBC tomorrow night.
Oh, really?
What is that?
Well, I'll be over there playing with Paul in a band.
Well, that's good.
We'll certainly look forward to that.
Thanks.
I hate to run, but I've got to get on fire.
Anton's been acting rather strange lately, hasn't he?
Must have been a miserable summer.
Tomorrow on the program, actress Catherine O'Hara.
I just hope that wasn't Wendell.
What was that noise?
Huh?
Where did that come from?
I think it was one of the compressors filling up, sir.
I see.
All right.
And musician Nancy Griffith.
Huh?
We'll be here tomorrow?
She's terrific.
What kind of music, Nancy Griffith?
Lovely, melodic, folk-oriented music.
You know, I think all of Merv Griffin's kids have gone into business.
The show business.
See another one?
I think so.
Andy.
Maybe it is Andy's kids.
Yeah.
Hey, Lloyd.
I'd like to see him do one of those little reports on that Dan Rather boy.
See what they come up with there.
I'd like to see him get him on that 60-minute show and work him over a little
bit.
That would be something.
Find out what went haywire with this guy.
And, you know, as I was shaking Mike Wallace's hand, I noticed I think he had
Fluffle on it.
That yellow stuff.
Phil Hartman from Saturday Night Live is just minutes away from being out here.
Also, famed TV art instructor Connie Gordon will be joining us.
Paul, you remember those old westerns?
This guy.
I want to tell you something, ladies and gentlemen.
A member of our crew tonight made, back in the 30s, over 200 westerns.
And he's right over there operating the camera.
Please say hello to our good friend, Johnny Pinto, ladies and gentlemen, right
there.
Johnny, take a bow.
There he is.
You know, when you're right into Cheyenne there and kick ass all day?
Those were great films, Johnny.
Johnny Pinto.
Yeah.
Monday on the big program.
Oh, it's a weekend.
Did you know that, Paul?
Now it's a weekend, yes.
Just a reminder, Dave, don't come in tomorrow.
No.
Julia Roberts will be here.
Michelle Schacht will be here.
And also author Tom Beaudet will be here.
You know what it's time for right now.
It's time once again to check in on that lovable cartoon family, the Samsons.
Okay, everybody, it's time to take a drive.
A drive will be very nice, won't it, children?
No way.
I hate drives.
Well, Bert, you're going on this one.
We can all forget about it, Dad.
It's starting to rain.
Oh, no.
Anyway, sweetheart, kids, I love you.
There it is.
It was the Samsons.
I'm going to let you in on another little secret.
All of those voices were done by the same guy, our drummer, Anton Figg.
Nice job, Anton.
Man alive.
Boy, that was fun.
Johnny Pinto and the Apaches.
Did you ever see that one, Paul?
Johnny Pinto, one of my favorites.
Saturday afternoon at the movies.
Yeah, it's very exciting stuff.
Over with that.
Here we go.
Tonight's top ten category, Mrs. Hussein's top ten tips for keeping your
husband happy.
It's just that big, ladies and gentlemen.
Boy.
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much for joining us on the program tonight.
We have a lovely show.
our old friend and very talented man from the television program, Saturday
Night Live, Mr. Phil Hartman.
Hartman.
Ladies and gentlemen, the hardest working man in show business, the godfather
of soul, James Brown.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
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Thank you.
My name is Phyllis.
Nice to see you, David.
Nice to see you.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
How are you?
I was hoping a little bit for that hooray for Hollywood.
Oh, you want to hear that?
Just a little bit.
Wow!
Now we're enjoying ourselves, aren't we?
Yesterday I mentioned that it was the St. Patrick's Day Parade.
Did you get out there and take a look at that, Patrick?
Well, it was raining so hard.
Yeah, coming down in a deluge, but yet the attendance at this year's
parade I think was bigger than ever.
Is that right?
They had like six million people attended the parade.
Six billion?
Six million people.
Six million people.
That's right.
More people attended this parade than the Rose Parade
and the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade combined.
Fine.
Ladies and gentlemen, like I need to tell you, it's just that popular.
So what we did, we had our own videotape crew out there,
and they brought back some fascinating images of the St. Patrick's Day Parade.
And we put them together, and we're going to now show them to you in a little
quiz form.
A little quiz.
You can take it at home, take it right here if you want to jot something down.
Play along, add up your score, and then phone me later and see how you did.
Do you have some music for us?
Do you have some music for us?
Yes.
Oh, Hennessey, Tennessee, toodles, the music is something grand.
A pleasure to all the Ireland is McNamara's band.
Hey!
A pleasure.
Thank you.
Thank you.
By gosh, you weren't kidding.
You had music for that.
I did have, yes.
With a dialect.
You know, I'm going to start coming to rehearsal.
A lot of good it'll do now.
Okay, here we go.
It's our little St. Patrick's Day quiz.
Take a look at this image right here.
Every year, the woman on the left celebrates St. Patrick's Day by A. Watching
the parade with
her daughter, B. Buying a souvenir shamrock, C. Swallowing a potato hole.
Oh, my gosh, you weren't kidding.
You had music for that.
I did have, yes.
The dialect.
You know, I'm going to start coming to rehearsal.
A lot of good it'll do now.
Okay, here we go.
It's our little St. Patrick's Day quiz.
Take a look at this image right here.
Every year, the woman on the left celebrates St. Patrick's Day by A. Watching
the parade with
her daughter, B. Buying a souvenir shamrock, C. Swallowing a potato hole.
Two, just two of the six million spectators at the parade yesterday.
That's right.
Now, these guys are thinking to themselves, A. I wish the rain would stop.
B. The parade is slower this year.
C. Bitchin' bagpipes.
Bitchin' bagpipes.
Now, this man is a highly honored parade participant because, A. He's the mayor
of Dublin.
B. He's president of the Hibernian Society.
C. He's the inventor of the twist-off beer cap.
One of the highlights of this year's parade was, A. The terrific turnout
despite the bad weather.
B. People taking time to watch the parade during their lunch hour.
C. See this surprise appearance by the original cast of The Brady Bunch.
Do you remember the Brady Bunch?
Sure.
That's who we saw this.
That's Karen, and then that's Connie, and that's Steve and Larry.
Steve and Larry Brady.
I don't remember it exactly that way, but whatever you say.
This man, A. Can't find his friend.
B. Lost his umbrella.
C. Just ate a green hot dog.
C. Yeah.
I believe it was C.
I can see.
Okay.
Now, these girls, these girls are wearing A. Plastic Derbies.
B. Parade Souvenirs.
C. The only Vatican-approved birth control device.
Here we see a customized tuba.
B. A decorated sousaphone.
C. The Irish bat signal.
C. This is pretty clever stuff, ain't it?
Okay.
Throughout the parade, this man, you're looking out here, repeats to himself.
C. Daddy!
C. Daddy!
Oh, my God!
It's Daddy, that guy with the big drum!
It's Daddy!
I can't believe it!
C. Daddy!
C. Daddy!
It's Daddy over there!
C. With a big drum!
It's Daddy!
C. Daddy!
C. Anton, I don't think it's your father.
C. He's got the big drum!
C. I know he has the big drum.
C. Chances are, it's not your father.
C. Looks like it.
C. Why don't you take a cup of aspirin and relax?
C. Daddy!
C. Daddy!
C. Oh, no, wait a minute.
C. Hey, a fine performance. Nice going out here.
C. Daddy!
C. Daddy!
Tonight in the role of orphan drummer Anton Fittler.
Hey, hey!
I'll get a court order and slap it on you people so fast that I'll make you...
Throughout the parade, this man repeats to himself,
A, I'm proud to be Irish, B, remember to smile,
C, keeps on going and going and going and going.
These magnificent animals are A, Irish wolfhounds,
B, Norwegian elkhounds,
C, New York City rats.
And I'll tell you something, they do bear a resemblance to New York City rats,
except they would be smaller.
Yes.
Oh, I just did that one.
This old-timer is telling his friend about A, his memories of old Dublin,
B, the first time he kissed the Blarney Stone,
C, the time he killed a leprechaun with a rake.
Daddy! Daddy!
This man is annoyed by A, this man is annoyed by A, the rain, B, the delay, C,
the two mice up his nose.
The three words that best describe this scene are A, Aaron go bra, B, long live
Ireland, C, too much Novocaine.
Daddy!
Daddy!
Daddy!
These men can be heard chanting A, we love parades, B, happy St. Patrick's Day,
C, we're here, we're queer, get used to it.
And finally, oh, Paul, get ready. Get ready to play us off here in like a big
triumphant thing there.
Uh, the reason everyone's following this woman is A, she's the drum major, B,
she's the band leader, C, gravitational pull.
Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to, uh, do a commercial, and when we come
back, our old friend, Phil Hartman, will join us.
Nice to have you here tonight.
Nice to have you here tonight.
Nice to have you here tonight.
We'll see you tonight.
Nice to have you here tonight.

Five Anton Fig Moments on Letterman, 1989-93

the
Anton, haven't seen you since we were kids.
Yeah, great to see you. What have you been up to, Ringo?
Oh, not too much. In a few bands. You know, I was with the Beatles.
Yeah, they were pretty popular, right?
Yeah, they were. Married Barbara Bach.
Oh, that's great.
What have you been up to?
Um, well, I've been in prison.
Ah, well, I'll see you next time, Ringo, and give us a call.
All right, thanks.
Anton, why didn't you tell him you were the drummer on the show?
Oh, that was, uh, that was a bit of shame.
Oh, man. Excuse me.
Thank you, boys. All right, let's get to our viewer mail.
Should we, should we drop one in the interest of time?
We're okay.
We're okay?
I would never do that to my audience.
The viewer mail, I keep, every week I forget about the viewer mail theme.
The viewer mail theme composed by Mr. Henry Mancini.
I know, but just because we paid for it, does that mean we have to use it every
week?
Well, we promised him we'd play it.
It's like cartoon playhouses next week.
You don't like Mr. Mancini's composing?
No, I love the song. I just said I forget about it from week to week.
You have something against Moon River?
No, I don't have anything against anything.
How do you feel about the Pink Panther?
I love them all.
I see.
Viewer mail, ladies and gentlemen, letter number one begins,
Dear Dave, you know those tiles on the ceiling of the Lincoln Tunnel.
When do they fall?
And when they do, who picks them up?
And when they do, how do they do it with all those cars whizzing by?
A couple of wondering watchers, Maria Jones and John Hillman, Utica, New York.
Well, Maria, gosh, and John, thank you very much for sending us this wonderful
Andy Rooney transcript.
I was supposed to hit the confetti, but it's such a mess out here already that
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
I'm not going to miss it.
Dave, I just wanted to get what?
What the hell are you doing?
I'm sorry, Paul.
I just had to clear the air.
I'm sorry.
I'm afraid your days as an informer are over.
Well, thanks a lot, pal.
I'll have to return the favor someday.
Wait a minute, Paul.
Where are you going?
What are you doing with the suitcase?
Where am I going with the suitcase?
I'm getting the first plane out of the country.
Thanks to you.
My life's not worth a damn.
Wait a minute, Paul.
You're overreacting as well as overacting.
I'm sure that Mr. Ayakana will just give you a stern talking to and forget the
whole thing.
Yeah?
Fat chance.
Oh, no, Paul.
That's too bad.
Watch out for the soccer ball.
Ladies and gentlemen, Paul Schaefer.
Paul, come out here.
Nice job, Paul.
Really very nice.
Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
And now, the real star of the piece, film coordinator Rick Sheckman.
Rick, come on out here.
Rick, nice job.
Rick Sheckman, ladies and gentlemen.
You know what we needed there?
We needed some footage of a guy getting into a car and getting blown up and you
came through
and got the footage.
Of course, it was old and it was grainy and it was obviously dated and the guy
looked nothing
like Paul.
But it worked in the piece and for your ongoing excellence as film coordinator,
we're giving
you cable television's highest honor, the coveted Ace Award.
Congratulations.
Nice job.
Rick Sheckman, ladies and gentlemen.
Do you have time for all of this?
Really?
I don't know.
Dear Mr. Letterman, number three begins.
What did Paul Schaefer and Biff Henderson do before you catapulted them to
national prominence?
Dearly, Marcus Doyle, Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada.
Well, Marcus, as most viewers know, Paul and Biff were doing pretty well right
here at NBC
long before we went on the air.
Here, take a look at this.
There you go.
I think you get the idea of what we're discussing.
Here's Paul and Biff.
Dave, come on.
We have done that dummy photo gag a thousand times.
I feel it hurts the show to keep doing the same old crap week in and week out.
Yeah, well, listen, Paul, maybe you feel a little bit differently about the dummied
up photo gag when you see the dummied up headlines in the newspapers.
All right?
You know, the fake headlines are even stupider than the dummy photo.
You're taking a tired old joke and you're stretching it out even longer.
Yeah, okay.
Excuse me, Paul.
One more.
Take a look at this last dummied up headline.
Actually, I guess it was a pretty funny letter after all.
On second thought.
Sorry about the humorous letter.
I'm not going to do letter number four.
Letter number five.
Is everyone in place for letter number five?
We're calling an audible.
We're calling an audible.
It's letter number five.
I've read the defense.
I'm changing the play.
Letter number five.
Dear Dave, I remember when your show first aired back in the late 60s.
Paul looked scared every time you axed him a question.
Now it seems like you can't shut him up.
All this confidence.
Just curious.
Tim Stein, Shawnee, Kansas.
Good question.
Paul, where do you get that wonderful, growing, glowing sense of confidence
that you radiate?
Well, I've acquired a lot of inner peace.
Inner strength, if you will.
From my hobby.
Raising and collecting butterflies.
Oh, that's great.
That's nice.
And those are actually living butterflies you have in there, Paul?
They should be, yeah.
They would have been living if the AC had been on.
Yes, they are.
They are such a living butterflies.
And, you know, I love watching these beautiful and gentle creatures.
Well, bang the cage once and see what happens.
I can even --
There, look at them jumping around.
Sometimes it helps --
Sometimes it helps if I sing to them a little bit.
Uh-huh.
All right.
Oh, little butterfly.
You fly so high.
Uh-huh.
As you go by.
Paul collecting butterflies.
What a sissy.
What next?
Paper dolls?
Where do you take your butterflies?
To the ballet?
Why don't you show them the dance of the sugar plum fairy?
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Go, my pretties.
Kill!
Kill!
KILL!
Welcome back to the program.
Coming up in this half hour, what did you think of Gene and Roger?
They're nice, aren't they?
They're lovely, yeah.
They're interesting and fascinating to listen to the way they kind of bicker
among themselves.
Friendly competition, I like to call them.
From the S.E. Johnson Raid Center for Insect Control, Keith Kennedy will be
here.
And I guess we have some insects that we're going to demonstrate how these
various insecticides work.
And tomorrow on the program, actress Catherine O'Hara.
Ladies and gentlemen, Anton Figg.
Hi.
Anton Figg, our drummer, ladies and gentlemen.
Nice to see you, Anton.
What brings you over here?
Well, I was just over there playing the drums like I do every night, and I
thought tonight I'd stop over and say hi.
Yeah.
It's a very nice surprise.
What have you been up to?
Well, I've been over there playing drums with a band most of the time.
And what brings you here tonight?
Well, I wanted to remind the people that I have something special coming up on
NBC tomorrow night.
Oh, really?
What is that?
Well, I'll be over there playing with Paul in a band.
Well, that's good.
We'll certainly look forward to that.
Thanks.
I hate to run, but I've got to get on fire.
Anton's been acting rather strange lately, hasn't he?
Must have been a miserable summer.
Tomorrow on the program, actress Catherine O'Hara.
I just hope that wasn't Wendell.
What was that noise?
Huh?
Where did that come from?
I think it was one of the compressors filling up, sir.
I see.
All right.
And musician Nancy Griffith.
Huh?
We'll be here tomorrow?
She's terrific.
What kind of music, Nancy Griffith?
Lovely, melodic, folk-oriented music.
You know, I think all of Merv Griffin's kids have gone into business.
The show business.
See another one?
I think so.
Andy.
Maybe it is Andy's kids.
Yeah.
Hey, Lloyd.
I'd like to see him do one of those little reports on that Dan Rather boy.
See what they come up with there.
I'd like to see him get him on that 60-minute show and work him over a little
bit.
That would be something.
Find out what went haywire with this guy.
And, you know, as I was shaking Mike Wallace's hand, I noticed I think he had
Fluffle on it.
That yellow stuff.
Phil Hartman from Saturday Night Live is just minutes away from being out here.
Also, famed TV art instructor Connie Gordon will be joining us.
Paul, you remember those old westerns?
This guy.
I want to tell you something, ladies and gentlemen.
A member of our crew tonight made, back in the 30s, over 200 westerns.
And he's right over there operating the camera.
Please say hello to our good friend, Johnny Pinto, ladies and gentlemen, right
there.
Johnny, take a bow.
There he is.
You know, when you're right into Cheyenne there and kick ass all day?
Those were great films, Johnny.
Johnny Pinto.
Yeah.
Monday on the big program.
Oh, it's a weekend.
Did you know that, Paul?
Now it's a weekend, yes.
Just a reminder, Dave, don't come in tomorrow.
No.
Julia Roberts will be here.
Michelle Schacht will be here.
And also author Tom Beaudet will be here.
You know what it's time for right now.
It's time once again to check in on that lovable cartoon family, the Samsons.
Okay, everybody, it's time to take a drive.
A drive will be very nice, won't it, children?
No way.
I hate drives.
Well, Bert, you're going on this one.
We can all forget about it, Dad.
It's starting to rain.
Oh, no.
Anyway, sweetheart, kids, I love you.
There it is.
It was the Samsons.
I'm going to let you in on another little secret.
All of those voices were done by the same guy, our drummer, Anton Figg.
Nice job, Anton.
Man alive.
Boy, that was fun.
Johnny Pinto and the Apaches.
Did you ever see that one, Paul?
Johnny Pinto, one of my favorites.
Saturday afternoon at the movies.
Yeah, it's very exciting stuff.
Over with that.
Here we go.
Tonight's top ten category, Mrs. Hussein's top ten tips for keeping your
husband happy.
It's just that big, ladies and gentlemen.
Boy.
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much for joining us on the program tonight.
We have a lovely show.
our old friend and very talented man from the television program, Saturday
Night Live, Mr. Phil Hartman.
Hartman.
Ladies and gentlemen, the hardest working man in show business, the godfather
of soul, James Brown.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
Thank you very much for joini