Name: Roy Blount Jr., Bill Murray, Martin & Mom Scorsese on Letterman, Nov. 22, 1991
Uploaded: 2018-11-24T05:58:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Roy Blount Jr., Bill Murray, Martin & Mom Scorsese on Letterman, Nov. 22, 1991' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-11-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Roy Blount Jr., Bill Murray, Martin & Mom Scorsese on Letterman, Nov. 22, 1991' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-11-24. Transcript available.

Welcome back.
Paul, Paul, when you see this, you'll agree that this really just screams,
Beat me up!
Come on, punch me! Beat me up!
I'm a little newt! I'm a weasel! Hurt me!
Well, I find out I've made one mistake already tonight.
I mispronounced the director's name.
I said Martin Scorsese. Is that what I said?
Martin Scorsese.
Which is it?
Sese.
Martin Scorsese.
Martin Scorsese.
That's what you said.
Huh? Sese?
No, no. I was told. What did I say?
Hmm.
Oh, you said Scorsese.
Well, is it Coppola or Francis Ford Coppola?
See, I can't pronounce any director's name.
Oh, wow.
All right, let's just bring out our first guest here.
But I do know that the distance between two Paul Songas headquarters...
Our first guest is one of our best-known humorists in this country,
and he is the author of several books, including this one right here.
And as you can see, the title of this is Camels Are Easy, Comedy's Hard.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome back to the program Roy Blunt, Jr.
Roy!
Good to have you with us on the program.
This would be your newest work.
Yep.
A compilation of short stories, essays.
Is it a novel?
What exactly is the book?
It's a little bit of everything.
There are a lot of things about animals in there, you know.
I went on a camel safari in Kenya and came back.
It's a little un-writerly.
It's not too literary, but I've been doing camel imitations ever since I came
back.
You have an imitation of a camel.
I do.
The tragedy of this book is that in doing that imitation,
I blew out the upper register of a camel's...
This is the noise that a camel makes when you wake him up in the morning
and try to put something on his back.
It's like the first time you ever heard.
What?
You put something on a camel's back and this is what he says.
It starts out way up here.
I can't do the high part.
Well.
It reminds me a little of home.
Yeah.
But now, are camels, do you find camels in Africa?
You do in Africa, yeah.
I actually read that Flaubert went to Egypt one time in K-Jax, in Africa.
All right.
Bill Murray.
Welcome.
Have a seat there.
You know Roy Blunt, Jr., Bill Murray?
Well, I know your work.
Well, there you go.
That's why I came.
I'm sorry.
This is the darndest thing.
Yeah.
I was down the hall.
I was reading.
I was auditioning for Another World.
And I saw on one of the monitors that you were on the show.
And I'm a huge fan of your stuff.
And I happen to have a cop.
I have a cop.
I had a copy with me that I've been carrying around reading.
And it is.
It's great.
That's terrific.
It's.
Do you want him to sign it or anything?
I mean, I got a pen.
Yeah, here I have a.
All I have is a pencil, Bill.
I'm sorry.
Where did you come up with the title?
Oh, you know.
Camels are easy and comedy is hard.
Because that hits me right in the gut.
You can relate to that, I guess, huh?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You don't want me to do it with a pencil.
I was just telling about the camels.
Did you hear the imitation he did?
There's a thing in here that you do an impression of a camel.
Would you do it for everybody?
Come on.
Let's really do it.
Yeah.
I'll do the bottom part.
As I told him, I can't do the upper part.
But I can do the lower.
It's good.
I'll just start with the lower part.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
It's funny.
It's funny because you write so great.
You know, because in there, you don't know what it's going to sound like.
Do you write, David?
Yeah, I've done a little writing here.
Personal correspondence, mostly.
Yeah.
You should.
Should I write?
Help.
Yeah.
Try it right here.
Try it.
Well, maybe not right here.
It's...
Writing is challenging.
It's a challenging feel.
Yeah?
I mean, right now, for instance.
How do you learn it?
I mean, what's the deal?
Well, you've got to have equipment.
Why not?
You've got to learn all that stuff with the screens and everything, you know.
Today, it's a lot harder.
We're in process.
You've got to buy one, $2,000.
So, there's...
You can afford it.
You can get into it.
It's not easy to exit.
I mean, you've got to get in with a lot of money.
Yeah.
I wouldn't get started unless...
I mean, a guy in your position, a guy of your magnitude, could get a machine.
Sure.
I mean, you probably could borrow one.
Yeah.
You can use mine.
Just come over here.
I'm not...
I've been on television lately.
But I think unless you're really sure you're serious about it, just get some
loaner stuff,
you know?
Well, but...
Before you make that investment.
If I borrowed yours, it probably knows how to do a lot of the writing already,
right?
It does all the capitalizing and everything.
I mean, but the funny part, that's from right here.
I mean, you can't do that with a machine.
You can't really teach it.
You've got to feel it.
You either have it or you don't.
It's a God-given gift.
Yeah, it's like hitting the curveball.
You can either hit it or you can't hit it.
It's like speed.
Velocity.
All right, here's one for you.
You're talking about big...
David.
Yeah, I'm sorry, Bill.
Am I...
No, don't...
Am I asking the same questions you're going to ask?
No, no, that's fine.
Everything's fine.
This is all fascinating stuff.
You say it's curveball.
Tick me off.
That's what writers...
They get stuff and they go, right?
And you, like, do social commentary.
I don't know.
I don't know what the hell you have to say about camels or Kenya.
It's controversial.
You go after it.
You're a writer.
I want to...
Dave said curveball.
I've got an idea.
We're...
You're from the South.
Forgive me.
I don't mean anything by that.
No, I'm not.
You will.
I'm not so true.
That's true.
Now, this Atlanta Brave thing.
Yeah.
Controversy.
Brave to me always meant one thing.
The American Indian Movement doesn't like the Braves.
But you're a cracker.
Exactly.
I grew up with the Atlanta Crackers.
And, in fact, if the Atlanta Crackers were the big leagues now,
they'd probably have guys running around with one tooth blacked out
and one strap of overall going around going,
there, there, there, or something.
That sounds a little like that camel thing you've done twice now.
Well, now, these are just some shirts I had made up off the title.
Wow, you had those made up?
That's unbelievable.
Very resourceful.
I'm not going to, these things aren't for sale.
There is, because, they're not for sale.
I'm, you couldn't price, you couldn't put a value on these.
Bill, let me ask you a question.
Bill, can I ask you a question?
Yeah.
Is there some kind of trouble at your house?
Is everything all right there at home?
No, I, I, I, I, I have a gift that I want to share with people,
and I just don't know what it is.
You know?
Yeah.
I know, yeah.
I'm sorry.
I, I, I, I, this is not working so well, uh, because I, I wanted to ask you
some, here, would, how many of you know Roy's stuff?
Well, I, I, I don't know it as well as I'd like to get to know it.
Do you read?
Yeah, I've been on to read, yeah.
Just a second.
Sure.
Oh, yeah.
Read this now?
It's got, everything's fine, don't worry.
On, on science.
We can edit a lot of this out.
Roy Blunt, that's right, Mike.
If, if doctors know a disease so well, how come they never catch it?
They're the ones who always tell, when you itch, don't scratch it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It didn't work, really.
No, it was fine.
But when you read it, it kills you.
It, it rips you up a little bit.
Yeah.
I'm, I'm sorry, in a way, because I thought that maybe this group here tonight
might get
you, Roy, and be a little bit more excited about the stuff that you do, and I'm
a little,
I have some stories to tell, but.
I'm sorry we've disappointed you, Bill.
Well, it's not, I, it's not for me, because I think that you have an incredible
gift, and
maybe it's just a venue thing.
I bet that's it, I bet it's a venue thing.
It could be a venue, yeah.
You know, this is, this studio's built over an old Indian burial ground, so
that, that
might be, that might be part of it.
Have you seen the guy from Irish Spring, by the way?
As a matter of fact, I saw him on an A&E this week.
All right.
All right, well, if this isn't, if this wouldn't be too rude to the folks here,
and I don't
mean anything to you folks, you, either you get it or you don't.
And, uh, tonight you don't, you just don't get it.
That's right.
It's, um, but.
My problem is not your problem.
You know, no, you know whose problem it is?
No, no, no, I gotta stay here.
It is my problem.
You guys will be down in Hurley.
I know what we want to do is, would you mind, would you be upset if we went
over and talked
to Bobby Costas for a little bit?
No, no, not at all.
Because I think five minutes is in real life time.
Nice to see you.
Good luck with the book.
Bill, thank you very much for dropping by.
Bill Murray, everyone.
Lord bless you.
Thank you, guys.
Okay.
We'll continue with Evening at the Improv right after you folks.
Take a look at this.
Hi.
Couldn't you get a cab?
Are you going to interrupt, Mr. Snow?
No, you can, hey, hey, you can stay.
You can stay, but just, you know, behave yourself.
And, hey, careful.
Careful.
I don't think that cable is UL approved, so be very careful.
Our next guest is one of America's finest film directors.
His work, of course, includes Taxi Driver and Goodfellas and many, many others.
The current number one box office hit is Cape Fear.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome back to the program, Martin Scorsese.
Congratulations on the Cape Fear.
This thing is really, really very exciting now, isn't it?
Yeah, I know.
It's amazing.
Yeah, doing great business for you.
Absolutely, yeah.
I was reading, I guess it was in a couple of weeks ago somewhere, a profile of
Nick Nolte.
Yes.
And he was talking about this movie, and he said he had a theory about his
character in
the film where he was going to start to appear and walk more and more like a
simian, like
an ape or something.
That's right.
And he said, but don't tell the director.
That's right.
Now, did this ever come up?
Did you have to say, hey, Nick, you're acting like a monkey?
The very last two days, I caught him in one shot, and he was wonderful.
He had teeth.
He put in new teeth, and he was moving like he studied the apes in the
beginning of 2001.
And he was, well, you'll see, when you see the picture, you'll understand.
It kind of regresses to a primal state.
Yeah.
And only one time I caught him.
Nick, a little too much like a monkey, but I had never seen any of that makeup
or anything.
I don't know.
But do you run into that often where an actor will have a theory about the part
and the film
that may not coincide with yours?
Not too often.
When it does, usually they don't tell me.
And it takes a lot of detective work.
I said, what are they doing?
What do they want me to think?
You know?
I said, why are you doing that?
And they had come up with an idea.
I said, no, no, no, simple.
Simple.
Keep it simple.
Yeah.
That's the main thing.
Yeah.
Now, somebody explained to me one time that directing a movie is pretty much
you spend
your entire day solving problems.
Is that a fair assessment of what a director does?
It's certainly part of it, I guess.
Part of it, I think.
But basically, it's answering questions.
It's answering questions like, who's in the next scene?
Or where do you want the camera?
Which is the biggest question.
Yeah.
To things like, what do you take in your coffee?
All on the same level of importance.
Yeah.
So I always wanted to carry a tape recorder around me one day and just record
all the questions
that you are asked during the day.
Things like, you know, when do you want that person to come on the set?
Well, it just goes on and on.
And finally, you just don't want to hear from anybody.
Yeah.
Has there been, and forgive me if this is silly, has there been a scene in a
film or
a part of a scene in a film that you've done in your life that you just kind of
turned
your back on it and crossed your fingers and said to yourself, ah, I don't have
a clue
here.
Just roll it.
Let's just see what the hell.
There's a couple of things.
A couple of things.
There's a few scenes.
Well, for example, the scene I did with my mother in Goodfellas.
I had a clue.
I had a clue, but I had no idea what she was going to say.
So we put two cameras in a very small room, a dining room in Queens, I think.
This is after the boys have come back from kind of a grisly mission.
Yeah, they had an unfortunate incident, and it was in the trunk.
We didn't tell her there was a body in the trunk.
Yeah.
So they come in the middle of the night, and she says, come and sit down and
have some
food and that sort of thing.
So I put a wide shot, camera wide, picking up my mother, Joe Pesci, Ray Liotta,
and Bob
De Niro, and a tighter one on Joe Pesci and my mother, two cameras
simultaneously.
And she started talking and talking.
I said, don't talk.
Save it, save it, save it.
And we started rolling.
The only written line was, did I ever show you, did I tell you about my
paintings?
That was the only written line.
Everything else was winged.
Yeah.
And also, is it true that for that scene and others, she provided the props?
She actually cooked the food?
Yes, yes, yes.
What was the menu for that meal?
That night, because it was a snack, was just potatoes and eggs.
Potatoes and snacks.
A light snack.
A light snack that the guys were eating, you know, piles of it.
And they were making it out in the backyard.
And lots of bread, and also some pizza.
Yeah.
And she cooks for film scenes and also for the crew, and has done this for
quite a while.
Very important.
From our very first short films, we had scenes with cooking in them.
But in Goodfellas, the food was very important.
The menu was important.
And she supervised the different dishes that were in the picture.
And, you know, really actually made the food.
And is she also cooked for Cape Fear a bit?
But mainly behind the scenes.
It's an American family in the South.
It's a different type of cuisine.
Yeah.
And she is, excuse me, Bill?
Where'd he go?
Bill left.
Oh, darn.
I thought maybe he had a question.
There he is, Bill.
Do you have any questions for Mr. Scorsese?
How do you get a red sauce out of a white shirt?
Why, you punk?
Don't make me come over there.
I'll tell you what, your mother is here.
Yes, she is.
And I'm told that she is prepared to show us how she makes pizza that is a
favorite with you and also...
De Niro and a number of people.
Okay.
We'll do a commercial and then we'll bring your mother out right after that.
We'll be right back.
All right.
All right.
We're back.
Welcome.
This woman, this lovely woman here is Martin's mother, Catherine.
Catherine, pleasure to have you with us on the program.
Thank you very much.
Thank you for being here.
And for us tonight, you're making what?
Obviously pizza of some kind, right?
Push.
No, he's supposed to learn.
All right.
What is special about this pizza?
Well, it's made by hand.
That's why it's special.
Now, do you make the dough?
Do you start from scratch?
I start from scratch.
That's right.
Now, I'll put this on.
All right.
What do I put on?
I'll show you how to put this on.
Just let me put this all over.
What kind of a boy was Martin at home?
Oh, Martin was a gem.
Yeah?
Always been.
Very good boy.
Do you enjoy being in the films?
Well, I have to be in the films.
Otherwise, he threatens me.
Threatens?
And have there been films that you see and you think, mm, and you have
suggestions and
you tell them about change this or do that differently?
Well, he says to me, if it's good, I'll leave it in.
If not, it gets out.
Yeah?
Like this.
And what do you think of Cape Fear?
Did it scare your shorts off?
No, no.
I'll do anything you want.
Did you ever see Nick Nolte sneaking around like a monkey?
All right.
I put some sauce around.
Did you make the sauce yourself?
Watch your shirt.
Oh, yeah.
I don't want to get on that.
Smear it around.
Smear it around?
Nice.
Not too much.
Don't make it too much.
It gets too heavy.
All right.
That's it.
Robert De Niro comes over and eats this pizza?
And Robert De Niro loves it.
He says, I make the best pizza in the whole world.
Why is this different than other pizza?
Because it's made by me.
Yeah.
Now, what do we do here?
So, all right, we have the dough, we have the cheese, we have the sauce.
Explain that the cheese goes, the mozzarella goes under the sauce.
Will you leave her alone?
It's a whole secret of it.
I'm sorry.
I'm a little jumpy tonight with that Murray thing.
It's got me, my nerves are shot.
You put the dough first, and then you put the mozzarella on top so it stays in
place.
Okay.
Now, let's see.
I'll leave this over here.
All right.
I'll put this.
Some cheese.
Can I sprinkle that on there?
Sprinkle it on with it.
What sort of table manners does Robert De Niro have?
Does he eat in his T-shirt?
No.
He comes dressed up in clothes.
What's the matter with you?
Too much, too much.
Too much.
I don't know what's the matter with me.
All right.
Okay.
All right.
We have a half a minute now.
Now, Catherine, can we see the finished product here?
Yes, sure.
Marty, take it out.
Go ahead.
Yeah, you use those oven mitts, Marty.
Yes, I'm afraid so.
Oh, boy.
That's beautiful.
All right.
Come here.
Come here.
Come here.
Come on.
Come on.
Let's slice it up.
One of those damn homers.
You know Bill Murray.
Yeah, okay.
It's some pizza.
You're using scissors on that.
Why is that?
I use the scissors because my mother-in-law taught me how to use a scissor.
Right.
She says, you always cut it better with a scissor.
Instead of using, like, a knife.
And you don't scratch your pan.
Okay.
All right.
Well, that's important for all of us.
Don't scratch your pan.
We'll do a commercial.
We'll be right back here.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh, okay.
Catherine, thank you very much.
It was very nice of you to come here and make this pizza for us.
And congratulations on Cape Fear.
Thank you very much.
I'm so happy.
We have to go, folks.
Have a lovely weekend.
Thanks for being here.
Good night, everybody.
Good night.

Roy Blount Jr., Bill Murray, Martin & Mom Scorsese on Letterman, Nov. 22, 1991

Welcome back.
Paul, Paul, when you see this, you'll agree that this really just screams,
Beat me up!
Come on, punch me! Beat me up!
I'm a little newt! I'm a weasel! Hurt me!
Well, I find out I've made one mistake already tonight.
I mispronounced the director's name.
I said Martin Scorsese. Is that what I said?
Martin Scorsese.
Which is it?
Sese.
Martin Scorsese.
Martin Scorsese.
That's what you said.
Huh? Sese?
No, no. I was told. What did I say?
Hmm.
Oh, you said Scorsese.
Well, is it Coppola or Francis Ford Coppola?
See, I can't pronounce any director's name.
Oh, wow.
All right, let's just bring out our first guest here.
But I do know that the distance between two Paul Songas headquarters...
Our first guest is one of our best-known humorists in this country,
and he is the author of several books, including this one right here.
And as you can see, the title of this is Camels Are Easy, Comedy's Hard.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome back to the program Roy Blunt, Jr.
Roy!
Good to have you with us on the program.
This would be your newest work.
Yep.
A compilation of short stories, essays.
Is it a novel?
What exactly is the book?
It's a little bit of everything.
There are a lot of things about animals in there, you know.
I went on a camel safari in Kenya and came back.
It's a little un-writerly.
It's not too literary, but I've been doing camel imitations ever since I came
back.
You have an imitation of a camel.
I do.
The tragedy of this book is that in doing that imitation,
I blew out the upper register of a camel's...
This is the noise that a camel makes when you wake him up in the morning
and try to put something on his back.
It's like the first time you ever heard.
What?
You put something on a camel's back and this is what he says.
It starts out way up here.
I can't do the high part.
Well.
It reminds me a little of home.
Yeah.
But now, are camels, do you find camels in Africa?
You do in Africa, yeah.
I actually read that Flaubert went to Egypt one time in K-Jax, in Africa.
All right.
Bill Murray.
Welcome.
Have a seat there.
You know Roy Blunt, Jr., Bill Murray?
Well, I know your work.
Well, there you go.
That's why I came.
I'm sorry.
This is the darndest thing.
Yeah.
I was down the hall.
I was reading.
I was auditioning for Another World.
And I saw on one of the monitors that you were on the show.
And I'm a huge fan of your stuff.
And I happen to have a cop.
I have a cop.
I had a copy with me that I've been carrying around reading.
And it is.
It's great.
That's terrific.
It's.
Do you want him to sign it or anything?
I mean, I got a pen.
Yeah, here I have a.
All I have is a pencil, Bill.
I'm sorry.
Where did you come up with the title?
Oh, you know.
Camels are easy and comedy is hard.
Because that hits me right in the gut.
You can relate to that, I guess, huh?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You don't want me to do it with a pencil.
I was just telling about the camels.
Did you hear the imitation he did?
There's a thing in here that you do an impression of a camel.
Would you do it for everybody?
Come on.
Let's really do it.
Yeah.
I'll do the bottom part.
As I told him, I can't do the upper part.
But I can do the lower.
It's good.
I'll just start with the lower part.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
It's funny.
It's funny because you write so great.
You know, because in there, you don't know what it's going to sound like.
Do you write, David?
Yeah, I've done a little writing here.
Personal correspondence, mostly.
Yeah.
You should.
Should I write?
Help.
Yeah.
Try it right here.
Try it.
Well, maybe not right here.
It's...
Writing is challenging.
It's a challenging feel.
Yeah?
I mean, right now, for instance.
How do you learn it?
I mean, what's the deal?
Well, you've got to have equipment.
Why not?
You've got to learn all that stuff with the screens and everything, you know.
Today, it's a lot harder.
We're in process.
You've got to buy one, $2,000.
So, there's...
You can afford it.
You can get into it.
It's not easy to exit.
I mean, you've got to get in with a lot of money.
Yeah.
I wouldn't get started unless...
I mean, a guy in your position, a guy of your magnitude, could get a machine.
Sure.
I mean, you probably could borrow one.
Yeah.
You can use mine.
Just come over here.
I'm not...
I've been on television lately.
But I think unless you're really sure you're serious about it, just get some
loaner stuff,
you know?
Well, but...
Before you make that investment.
If I borrowed yours, it probably knows how to do a lot of the writing already,
right?
It does all the capitalizing and everything.
I mean, but the funny part, that's from right here.
I mean, you can't do that with a machine.
You can't really teach it.
You've got to feel it.
You either have it or you don't.
It's a God-given gift.
Yeah, it's like hitting the curveball.
You can either hit it or you can't hit it.
It's like speed.
Velocity.
All right, here's one for you.
You're talking about big...
David.
Yeah, I'm sorry, Bill.
Am I...
No, don't...
Am I asking the same questions you're going to ask?
No, no, that's fine.
Everything's fine.
This is all fascinating stuff.
You say it's curveball.
Tick me off.
That's what writers...
They get stuff and they go, right?
And you, like, do social commentary.
I don't know.
I don't know what the hell you have to say about camels or Kenya.
It's controversial.
You go after it.
You're a writer.
I want to...
Dave said curveball.
I've got an idea.
We're...
You're from the South.
Forgive me.
I don't mean anything by that.
No, I'm not.
You will.
I'm not so true.
That's true.
Now, this Atlanta Brave thing.
Yeah.
Controversy.
Brave to me always meant one thing.
The American Indian Movement doesn't like the Braves.
But you're a cracker.
Exactly.
I grew up with the Atlanta Crackers.
And, in fact, if the Atlanta Crackers were the big leagues now,
they'd probably have guys running around with one tooth blacked out
and one strap of overall going around going,
there, there, there, or something.
That sounds a little like that camel thing you've done twice now.
Well, now, these are just some shirts I had made up off the title.
Wow, you had those made up?
That's unbelievable.
Very resourceful.
I'm not going to, these things aren't for sale.
There is, because, they're not for sale.
I'm, you couldn't price, you couldn't put a value on these.
Bill, let me ask you a question.
Bill, can I ask you a question?
Yeah.
Is there some kind of trouble at your house?
Is everything all right there at home?
No, I, I, I, I, I have a gift that I want to share with people,
and I just don't know what it is.
You know?
Yeah.
I know, yeah.
I'm sorry.
I, I, I, I, this is not working so well, uh, because I, I wanted to ask you
some, here, would, how many of you know Roy's stuff?
Well, I, I, I don't know it as well as I'd like to get to know it.
Do you read?
Yeah, I've been on to read, yeah.
Just a second.
Sure.
Oh, yeah.
Read this now?
It's got, everything's fine, don't worry.
On, on science.
We can edit a lot of this out.
Roy Blunt, that's right, Mike.
If, if doctors know a disease so well, how come they never catch it?
They're the ones who always tell, when you itch, don't scratch it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It didn't work, really.
No, it was fine.
But when you read it, it kills you.
It, it rips you up a little bit.
Yeah.
I'm, I'm sorry, in a way, because I thought that maybe this group here tonight
might get
you, Roy, and be a little bit more excited about the stuff that you do, and I'm
a little,
I have some stories to tell, but.
I'm sorry we've disappointed you, Bill.
Well, it's not, I, it's not for me, because I think that you have an incredible
gift, and
maybe it's just a venue thing.
I bet that's it, I bet it's a venue thing.
It could be a venue, yeah.
You know, this is, this studio's built over an old Indian burial ground, so
that, that
might be, that might be part of it.
Have you seen the guy from Irish Spring, by the way?
As a matter of fact, I saw him on an A&E this week.
All right.
All right, well, if this isn't, if this wouldn't be too rude to the folks here,
and I don't
mean anything to you folks, you, either you get it or you don't.
And, uh, tonight you don't, you just don't get it.
That's right.
It's, um, but.
My problem is not your problem.
You know, no, you know whose problem it is?
No, no, no, I gotta stay here.
It is my problem.
You guys will be down in Hurley.
I know what we want to do is, would you mind, would you be upset if we went
over and talked
to Bobby Costas for a little bit?
No, no, not at all.
Because I think five minutes is in real life time.
Nice to see you.
Good luck with the book.
Bill, thank you very much for dropping by.
Bill Murray, everyone.
Lord bless you.
Thank you, guys.
Okay.
We'll continue with Evening at the Improv right after you folks.
Take a look at this.
Hi.
Couldn't you get a cab?
Are you going to interrupt, Mr. Snow?
No, you can, hey, hey, you can stay.
You can stay, but just, you know, behave yourself.
And, hey, careful.
Careful.
I don't think that cable is UL approved, so be very careful.
Our next guest is one of America's finest film directors.
His work, of course, includes Taxi Driver and Goodfellas and many, many others.
The current number one box office hit is Cape Fear.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome back to the program, Martin Scorsese.
Congratulations on the Cape Fear.
This thing is really, really very exciting now, isn't it?
Yeah, I know.
It's amazing.
Yeah, doing great business for you.
Absolutely, yeah.
I was reading, I guess it was in a couple of weeks ago somewhere, a profile of
Nick Nolte.
Yes.
And he was talking about this movie, and he said he had a theory about his
character in
the film where he was going to start to appear and walk more and more like a
simian, like
an ape or something.
That's right.
And he said, but don't tell the director.
That's right.
Now, did this ever come up?
Did you have to say, hey, Nick, you're acting like a monkey?
The very last two days, I caught him in one shot, and he was wonderful.
He had teeth.
He put in new teeth, and he was moving like he studied the apes in the
beginning of 2001.
And he was, well, you'll see, when you see the picture, you'll understand.
It kind of regresses to a primal state.
Yeah.
And only one time I caught him.
Nick, a little too much like a monkey, but I had never seen any of that makeup
or anything.
I don't know.
But do you run into that often where an actor will have a theory about the part
and the film
that may not coincide with yours?
Not too often.
When it does, usually they don't tell me.
And it takes a lot of detective work.
I said, what are they doing?
What do they want me to think?
You know?
I said, why are you doing that?
And they had come up with an idea.
I said, no, no, no, simple.
Simple.
Keep it simple.
Yeah.
That's the main thing.
Yeah.
Now, somebody explained to me one time that directing a movie is pretty much
you spend
your entire day solving problems.
Is that a fair assessment of what a director does?
It's certainly part of it, I guess.
Part of it, I think.
But basically, it's answering questions.
It's answering questions like, who's in the next scene?
Or where do you want the camera?
Which is the biggest question.
Yeah.
To things like, what do you take in your coffee?
All on the same level of importance.
Yeah.
So I always wanted to carry a tape recorder around me one day and just record
all the questions
that you are asked during the day.
Things like, you know