Name: Tim Robbins ("You Are Everything") on Late Show, January 12, 1996
Uploaded: 2018-12-25T02:37:26.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim Robbins ("You Are Everything") on Late Show, January 12, 1996' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-12-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim Robbins ("You Are Everything") on Late Show, January 12, 1996' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-12-25. Transcript available.

what's the matter now you did it again he gave me this is two nights in a row
you've shot me the
skunk eye yes you did now knock that off with the old skunk eye huh no all
right bob come on up here
how about a hug bob favoring the old grab and thrust technique i haven't seen
that since my army days
i don't know you know and i don't know what that means either what stop it uh i
believe now i believe
i have this accurate the newest inductee into the grand old opry martina mcbride
is on the program
this evening and our old friend norm mcdonald now is a good friend paul schaefer
he's right over there
somebody hey by the way here and i know i know don't worry we're in good shape
here in new york
city today we get more snow we got about 18 inches of snow now this is this is
ice be very very careful
everybody duck it's frozen solid it's ice here we go anton you and me buddy all
right one more one more
ice be careful it's ice oh well i'm way off all right we i gotta tell you
something we are just
sick and tired of the snow we got pounded by the blizzard of 96 over the
weekend today we had another
four or five inches it's everywhere let's turn on the camera outside and show
you what broadway
look at that look at that mess now it's turned into rain we're gonna get sleet
and freezing rain it's just
unbelievable it's a nightmare ladies and gentlemen all right do me a favor can
we uh was there a cab
pulling up there the snow is everywhere you can't be away from it you can't rid
yourself of it show me
the cab take a look at this it's just unbelievable okay now watch see what
happens here some poor guy
look at that it's everywhere the snow look at this poor that poor bastard i
wouldn't give his troubles
to a monkey i don't know but look at that unbelievable
anyway because we've uh been inundated by the blizzard of 96 el blizzardo we
thought uh tonight
would be an excellent time to give you folks here in the ed sullivan theater
and all around the country
a little quiz about the big blizzard of 96 here in new york city all right paul
that puts a lot of pressure on this dinky little comedy piece paul it makes it
seem like it's going
to be important not funny all that fabulous you could have worked on a wah wah
well i'll give you
that all right here's a big blizzard of 96 quiz ladies and gentlemen pay very
careful attention and uh
take the quiz the grade the results mail a minute and we'll give you a diploma
and then you can host something here on cbs
this snowplow driver continues to work despite a terrible fatigue b in clement
weather c the screams
of bike messengers trapped under its blade wow that was a sailor that that was
a sailor
i thought it was you
stylistics you are everything yeah okay here we see a an overflowing trash can
b debris that fell off a
garbage truck c a typical new york city snowman
now a careful observer would notice that this is a a pet waiting for its master
b a prize-winning
pomeranian c one of carol channing's wigs
i thought it was you by next week this ice will be a melted b shoveled into
deep piles c loaded
into a 7-eleven slurpee machine
i thought it was you
now here here we see kids a frolicking in the snow b children enjoying a day
off from school c young new
new york giants fans in training
stop it
when you round the corner
you know it'd be helpful if i knew the words here we see i'm sorry moving on
number six this woman has
a day off from her job as a a waitress the audience helpfully making up their
own jokes now i appreciate
that this woman has a day off from her job as a a waitress b a dental hygienist
c a receptionist
at the statue of liberty there you go
she walked like you too i thought it was you
when she turned the corner i just thought it would yeah yeah okay great all
right call me over the
weekend uh number seven if the blizzard continues these pigeons will be a cold
b flying south c dinner
there you go uh this offbeat bike by the way this is our last one paul get
ready to knock us out
pal knock us out and drop us dead will you buddy yeah okay here we go this offbeat
bike is powered by a
the sun b fossil fuels c a dork
i thought it was
all right stop it dad's been in the brandy now we have to pause for a an
important commercial
announcement when we come back what the hell happens the big show continues
come on back kids
be very very careful get down get down get down
oh here we go look out one more one more
trying to get them symbols well you got felicia on that oh are you all right is
everybody
all right oh i'm sorry please forgive me i thought it was you
our first guest is a wonderful actor who is getting uh lovely reviews as the
director of a film called
dead man walking do me a favor join me in welcoming tim robbins tim
how you doing all right you want to sing a little bit you got him right there
boy right there
oh yeah today i saw somebody who looked just like you she walked like you too i
thought it was you
as she turned the corner i called out your name i felt so ashamed
loving you
how you been you know who was here a couple of weeks ago you're uh our first duet
yeah uh uh susan susan
you're you're uh significant other significant other is that the is that the
term you use for
this oh sure why not how long have you known her uh eight years and you have
the two of you have
a family together how many kids in the family we have three kids three kids and
and the choice
to not get married and believe me i'm the last person to be beating somebody up
on this topic
but the choice to not get married is open or closed well we forgot
yeah you didn't forget the honeymoon though did you tim no i didn't
or the child rearing yeah so what is new in your life congratulations on this
film you know i saw
this film i thought it was damn good oh thank you i was really knocked out
because uh you got some
great performances uh susan you're a significant other and uh sean penn of
course he's always greasy and
scary sean penn and and not only did you direct the film but you you wrote the
adaptation from the
original source which i guess is a a true story yes it's a true uh it's a true
story the film is based
on on the book yeah uh written by a woman named sister helen prajean who is a
great woman and a great
she's a nun a nun yeah who who defends a death row criminal who who uh works to
try to get him to
take some responsibility for what he did and uh uh it's it's kind of unique
kind of nun in movies you know
she's not flying and she's not singing was there part of you that wanted to
work that in kind of you
know like a gust comes up out of the gulf or something oh look at that she's levitating
dream
sequence yeah uh and again working with uh susan as as a director and then she's
the star of the film
it was it easy was it hard well we had some hard days yeah what is a hard day
what does that represent
oh you know you know not exactly talking to each other now are these creative
differences or trouble
at home that spills onto the set well um it's it's more that you know it
happens whenever you do a film
and and uh in this case i didn't particularly have a place to vent my frustrations
at the end you can't
scream at the star well no and you can't tell the star that you know the money
is this or the day
the other schedule is long or whatever you can't you can't this is an
interesting question as the
director of the film you yeah the star of the film susan who made more money we
made the same amount
uh we have a clip of the film and and man i'm telling you this thing is
compelling from the first
frame i just turned the thing on and boom you're into it and you stay into it
for like two hours or
however long it is yes yeah do you know what we're going to show them uh yeah
this is uh i think i
believe this is a very uh it's a crucial scene in the movie where uh it's a
very intense scene very
dramatic and uh you see you'll see how tremendous these actors are right okay
and we're talking
about susan as the nun susan as the nun and sean penn is okay here we go dead
man walking tim robbins
wow you gave away the powerful very that was in the clip very very powerful
piece of work you gave
away the end of the movie i can't believe uh we got to do us a commercial and
we'll come back here
and visit more with our friend tim robbins
and robbins is here you know who justin wilson is you've seen his show yeah the
man is uh 81 years
old and he lives in louisiana and he has this uh show and he's just a wonderful
wonderful cook he's
making the crawfish etouffee it's kind of a theme show because we did our movie
in louisiana that's
right exactly did you like it down there oh yeah it's great it's fascinating it's
an interesting part
of the world unbelievable yeah well he's here and you're welcome to hang around
and eat if you want you
know when susan was on the program she explained to me that she and i she and
you she and the three of us
live relatively near one another yes but yet we could not between the two of us
recognize or
establish a common landmark oh you want to keep it that way don't you
i i know that restaurant the restaurant the one that you were talking oh on
route 22 yes yeah well
there you go so are you near there yes all right so now can i come by yes oh
good play some pond
hockey and tell me about that you got a little pond you and the kids play
hockey yeah i got a snowblower
for christmas there you go buddy been out there a lot you're middle-aged now
next it'll be a riding
mower yeah yeah we can't do the riding mower on the pond though because you
fall in do you play hockey with
the kids yeah i do i play with my sons and uh and my daughter now how does that
go do they like it
though oh my son is so competitive you know i really like hockey because i
think it you know it instills
a certain uh there's a certain respect for authority that i think it instills
what about all that violence
all that uh you know yeah there's violence in all sports you know but at least
like in football okay
the guy spears a guy in the head knocks him unconscious yeah and and he's still
in the game
that's right that guy stays in the game well goodness yeah you're right 10
yards 15 yards whatever
in hockey you do something like that you have to go sit in a penalty box you
have to go sit and think
about what you did oh yeah do something really bad you go for five minutes you
draw blood that's an
extra two minutes and if you do something really really awful get thrown out of
the game and sometimes
they take away your allowance that's right you know sit there and think about
it and these guys are
nothing if not contemplative uh did you ever did you play uh school hockey any
place uh no no i played
roller hockey in the streets we used to check each other into cars and stuff so
what is it like with
with the kids are they as competitive more competitive than you well my son is
has gotten very competitive
i i i used to you know when i was teaching him how to play and stuff i used to
let him score and win
all the time why not well yeah and then i talked to mark messier's father who
told me i never let mark
win no so i said i said i said oh well i and let me see so i started being a
little tougher on him you
know get a little more competitive with him and uh you know the last week we
were playing and uh i dove at
one point to stop the puck he had shot from going in and he gets really angry
at me and starts you know
saying dad that's a penalty you shouldn't do that you know i said i got you
know i'm 37 years old i'm
diving in front i'm getting really into it you know and uh my son is like
becoming this little uh
olf samuelson he's like really you know so did we learn did you learn anything
did he learn anything
no yeah that's the kind of story we love here how many learns nothing
uh so what are you working on now this must be very exciting for you to have
this movie out and
you get this great acclaim as a director and and also you're well respected as
an actor what the
hell you got the world by the tail well that's very nice and a cd you got a cd
now what is this
this is the soundtrack cd this is uh actually a companion piece a lot i sent
the movie to all these
songwriters and and they uh and they wrote songs uh that appear in the film no
no they it's kind of
it's kind of uh it's kind of its own it's its own movie really oh so it has
nothing to do with the
movie except they watch all of the all of the songs have something to do with a
character or scene in
the movie but these songs don't appear in the movie three of them do three of
them so what about
this what if somebody had like a portable cd player yes would you recommend
that they take it
with them to the theater and listen to this while they're watching the movie no
that get a little
confusing well this is a little confusing uh bruce springsteen is his song in
the movie yes okay yeah
you can't go wrong there that's a good move johnny cash his song prison yeah
gotta be uh suzanne vega
uh no lyle levitt the rest of them aren't in the movie eddie vetter is and nusrat
fati ali khan are
in the movie i understand lyle levitt's song is not in the movie but his hair
is is that true
one scene i'm sorry it's the best i can do i'm drunk leave me alone um you are
everything
now each time we sing that you have to pay right somebody's got to pay the damn
thing somebody's got
to pay a lot of royalties for you know i want to i want to tell you something
this thing uh this movie
i'm sorry to refer to it as a thing opened like in six theaters or something in
new york and los
yeah and now today it opens openings nationwide in the country it's getting it's
getting great
response lots of top 10 lists and a lot of great great good for you i couldn't
be happier for you
and uh susan who may or may not be your wife i don't know how the hell that
works who knows what's
going on at the house yeah all right i'll do what i can uh anyway tim
congratulations happy new year
and come back come over play some hockey one day all right all right tim robbins
ladies and gentlemen
you

Tim Robbins ("You Are Everything") on Late Show, January 12, 1996

what's the matter now you did it again he gave me this is two nights in a row
you've shot me the
skunk eye yes you did now knock that off with the old skunk eye huh no all
right bob come on up here
how about a hug bob favoring the old grab and thrust technique i haven't seen
that since my army days
i don't know you know and i don't know what that means either what stop it uh i
believe now i believe
i have this accurate the newest inductee into the grand old opry martina mcbride
is on the program
this evening and our old friend norm mcdonald now is a good friend paul schaefer
he's right over there
somebody hey by the way here and i know i know don't worry we're in good shape
here in new york
city today we get more snow we got about 18 inches of snow now this is this is
ice be very very careful
everybody duck it's frozen solid it's ice here we go anton you and me buddy all
right one more one more
ice be careful it's ice oh well i'm way off all right we i gotta tell you
something we are just
sick and tired of the snow we got pounded by the blizzard of 96 over the
weekend today we had another
four or five inches it's everywhere let's turn on the camera outside and show
you what broadway
look at that look at that mess now it's turned into rain we're gonna get sleet
and freezing rain it's just
unbelievable it's a nightmare ladies and gentlemen all right do me a favor can
we uh was there a cab
pulling up there the snow is everywhere you can't be away from it you can't rid
yourself of it show me
the cab take a look at this it's just unbelievable okay now watch see what
happens here some poor guy
look at that it's everywhere the snow look at this poor that poor bastard i
wouldn't give his troubles
to a monkey i don't know but look at that unbelievable
anyway because we've uh been inundated by the blizzard of 96 el blizzardo we
thought uh tonight
would be an excellent time to give you folks here in the ed sullivan theater
and all around the country
a little quiz about the big blizzard of 96 here in new york city all right paul
that puts a lot of pressure on this dinky little comedy piece paul it makes it
seem like it's going
to be important not funny all that fabulous you could have worked on a wah wah
well i'll give you
that all right here's a big blizzard of 96 quiz ladies and gentlemen pay very
careful attention and uh
take the quiz the grade the results mail a minute and we'll give you a diploma
and then you can host something here on cbs
this snowplow driver continues to work despite a terrible fatigue b in clement
weather c the screams
of bike messengers trapped under its blade wow that was a sailor that that was
a sailor
i thought it was you
stylistics you are everything yeah okay here we see a an overflowing trash can
b debris that fell off a
garbage truck c a typical new york city snowman
now a careful observer would notice that this is a a pet waiting for its master
b a prize-winning
pomeranian c one of carol channing's wigs
i thought it was you by next week this ice will be a melted b shoveled into
deep piles c loaded
into a 7-eleven slurpee machine
i thought it was you
now here here we see kids a frolicking in the snow b children enjoying a day
off from school c young new
new york giants fans in training
stop it
when you round the corner
you know it'd be helpful if i knew the words here we see i'm sorry moving on
number six this woman has
a day off from her job as a a waitress the audience helpfully making up their
own jokes now i appreciate
that this woman has a day off from her job as a a waitress b a dental hygienist
c a receptionist
at the statue of liberty there you go
she walked like you too i thought it was you
when she turned the corner i just thought it would yeah yeah okay great all
right call me over the
weekend uh number seven if the blizzard continues these pigeons will be a cold
b flying south c dinner
there you go uh this offbeat bike by the way this is our last one paul get
ready to knock us out
pal knock us out and drop us dead will you buddy yeah okay here we go this offbeat
bike is powered by a
the sun b fossil fuels c a dork
i thought it was
all right stop it dad's been in the brandy now we have to pause for a an
important commercial
announcement when we come back what the hell happens the big show continues
come on back kids
be very very careful get down get down get down
oh here we go look out one more one more
trying to get them symbols well you got felicia on that oh are you all right is
everybody
all right oh i'm sorry please forgive me i thought it was you
our first guest is a wonderful actor who is getting uh lovely reviews as the
director of a film called
dead man walking do me a favor join me in welcoming tim robbins tim
how you doing all right you want to sing a little bit you got him right there
boy right there
oh yeah today i saw somebody who looked just like you she walked like you too i
thought it was you
as she turned the corner i called out your name i felt so ashamed
loving you
how you been you know who was here a couple of weeks ago you're uh our first duet
yeah uh uh susan susan
you're you're uh significant other significant other is that the is that the
term you use for
this oh sure why not how long have you known her uh eight years and you have
the two of you have
a family together how many kids in the family we have three kids three kids and
and the choice
to not get married and believe me i'm the last person to be beating somebody up
on this topic
but the choice to not get married is open or closed well we forgot
yeah you didn't forget the honeymoon though did you tim no i didn't
or the child rearing yeah so what is new in your life congratulations on this
film you know i saw
this film i thought it was damn good oh thank you i was really knocked out
because uh you got some
great performances uh susan you're a significant other and uh sean penn of
course he's always greasy and
scary sean penn and and not only did you direct the film but you you wrote the
adaptation from the
original source which i guess is a a true story yes it's a true uh it's a true
story the film is based
on on the book yeah uh written by a woman named sister helen prajean who is a
great woman and a great
she's a nun a nun yeah who who defends a death row criminal who who uh works to
try to get him to
take some responsibility for what he did and uh uh it's it's kind of unique
kind of nun in movies you know
she's not flying and she's not singing was there part of you that wanted to
work that in kind of you
know like a gust comes up out of the gulf or something oh look at that she's levitating
dream
sequence yeah uh and again working with uh susan as as a director and then she's
the star of the film
it was it easy was it hard well we had some hard days yeah what is a hard day
what does that represent
oh you know you know not exactly talking to each other now are these creative
differences or trouble
at home that spills onto the set well um it's it's more that you know it
happens whenever you do a film
and and uh in this case i didn't particularly have a place to vent my frustrations
at the end you can't
scream at the star well no and you can't tell the star that you know the money
is this or the day
the other schedule is long or whatever you can't you can't this is an
interesting question as the
director of the film you yeah the star of the film susan who made more money we
made the same amount
uh we have a clip of the film and and man i'm telling you this thing is
compelling from the first
frame i just turned the thing on and boom you're into it and you stay into it
for like two hours or
however long it is yes yeah do you know what we're going to show them uh yeah
this is uh i think i
believe this is a very uh it's a crucial scene in the movie where uh it's a
very intense scene very
dramatic and uh you see you'll see how tremendous these actors are right okay
and we're talking
about susan as the nun susan as the nun and sean penn is okay here we go dead
man walking tim robbins
wow you gave away the powerful very that was in the clip very very powerful
piece of work you gave
away the end of the movie i can't believe uh we got to do us a commercial and
we'll come back here
and visit more with our friend tim robbins
and robbins is here you know who justin wilson is you've seen his show yeah the
man is uh 81 years
old and he lives in louisiana and he has this uh show and he's just a wonderful
wonderful cook he's
making the crawfish etouffee it's kind of a theme show because we did our movie
in louisiana that's
right exactly did you like it down there oh yeah it's great it's fascinating it's
an interesting part
of the world unbelievable yeah well he's here and you're welcome to hang around
and eat if you want you
know when susan was on the program she explained to me that she and i she and
you she and the three of us
live relatively near one another yes but yet we could not between the two of us
recognize or
establish a common landmark oh you want to keep it that way don't you
i i know that restaurant the restaurant the one that you were talking oh on
route 22 yes yeah well
there you go so are you near there yes all right so now can i come by yes oh
good play some pond
hockey and tell me about that you got a little pond you and the kids play
hockey yeah i got a snowblower
for christmas there you go buddy been out there a lot you're middle-aged now
next it'll be a riding
mower yeah yeah we can't do the riding mower on the pond though because you
fall in do you play hockey with
the kids yeah i do i play with my sons and uh and my daughter now how does that
go do they like it
though oh my son is so competitive you know i really like hockey because i
think it you know it instills
a certain uh there's a certain respect for authority that i think it instills
what about all that violence
all that uh you know yeah there's violence in all sports you know but at least
like in football okay
the guy spears a guy in the head knocks him unconscious yeah and and he's still
in the game
that's right that guy stays in the game well goodness yeah you're right 10
yards 15 yards whatever
in hockey you do something like that you have to go sit in a penalty box you
have to go sit and think
about what you did oh yeah do something really bad you go for five minutes you
draw blood that's an
extra two minutes and if you do something really really awful get thrown out of
the game and sometimes
they take away your allowance that's right you know sit there and think about
it and these guys are
nothing if not contemplative uh did you ever did you play uh school hockey any
place uh no no i played
roller hockey in the streets we used to check each other into cars and stuff so
what is it like with
with the kids are they as competitive more competitive than you well my son is
has gotten very competitive
i i i used to you know when i was teaching him how to play and stuff i used to
let him score and win
all the time why not well yeah and then i talked to mark messier's father who
told me i never let mark
win no so i said i said i said oh well i and let me see so i started being a
little tougher on him you
know get a little more competitive with him and uh you know the last week we
were playing and uh i dove at
one point to stop the puck he had shot from going in and he gets really angry
at me and starts you know
saying dad that's a penalty you shouldn't do that you know i said i got you
know i'm 37 years old i'm
diving in front i'm getting really into it you know and uh my son is like
becoming this little uh
olf samuelson he's like really you know so did we learn did you learn anything
did he learn anything
no yeah that's the kind of story we love here how many learns nothing
uh so what are you working on now this must be very exciting for you to have
this movie out and
you get this great acclaim as a director and and also you're well respected as
an actor what the
hell you got the world by the tai