Name: Art Donovan Collection on Letterman, Part 1: 1983-93
Uploaded: 2019-03-11T17:38:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Art Donovan Collection on Letterman, Part 1: 1983-93' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-03-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Art Donovan Collection on Letterman, Part 1: 1983-93' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-03-11. Transcript available.

Art Donovan Collection on Letterman, Part 1: 1983-93

You know, immediately after the Super Bowl, it's not always an easy task to get
players from the game to appear on shows like this.
Most of the players, of course, are either still in California or in no
condition to appear on television.
So to comment on Sunday's game and to talk about football in general, please
welcome one of the stars of the Baltimore Colts between the years 1950-1962, Mr.
Art Donovan, ladies and gentlemen.
What's the matter?
Tell me, what position did you play for the Colts?
I was a defensive left tackle.
And were you a pretty good ball player?
I don't know.
Some of the people I played against thought I was lousy and others thought I
was good.
And the newspaper people, they said you were good and bad.
So I think the only way you can really judge how good you were or how bad you
were is by your peers.
If you meet fellas and they say, well, you were a good one, then you say, okay,
thank you very much.
Yeah.
If they say lousy, I say, you don't know what you're talking about.
How long were you in the NFL?
Was this all in?
13 years.
And all with the Colts?
Yes.
Now, you saw the game yesterday.
Yes, I did.
And I guess the winning team, they each got $36,000 apiece.
Right.
Yeah.
Now, how does that compare with the kind of money you were making?
After 13 years, my best salary was $22,000.
I started off in 1940, 1950 as a rookie, and I was making $4,500.
But there was a fellow from Muhlenberg College that played with me, and he
played both ways in 50, and he made $4,000.
So I thought I was doing very well.
Yeah.
Boy.
Now, do you have any kind of feeling that maybe the football that you were
playing then
or the football players you were playing with and against were tougher than the
guys playing today?
Uh, it was a different kind of a game.
When I started, you were a sissy if you wore a face mask.
Yeah.
And then after, because of my face, you didn't have to worry about, you know.
So, uh...
You had a good-looking face.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you, David.
I don't know.
I think you better get your eyes exact.
No, no.
Well, anyhow, uh, I got kicked in the face.
And I got 56 stitches down here, and then I got under here, and I lost a few
teeth.
Yeah.
And, uh, so I put the mask on.
I said, to hell with them.
If they think I'm a sissy, I'm a sissy.
Yeah.
So then everybody's got a mask on now, and now you can't even get your fingers
in there anymore.
Uh-huh.
Which we were never doing those days, no.
No, no.
What?
Uh, now you played both, uh, offense and defense?
No, no, just defense.
Just defense.
Now, uh, did you ever do anything dirty or untoward?
Uh, absolutely.
Yeah.
All right.
Uh, and what kind of stuff?
What would, what was your skill or strategy?
Well, my skill was, I guess, trying to get to the guy's eyes, you know.
Do a lot of little things.
Like, we had a fellow named Bill Pellington who was a linebacker, and a guy was
blocking
on us named Bob Sinclair from the 49ers, and we knocked him down.
And Pellington says to me, okay, kick him now, kick him, you got your chance.
So I started to kick him.
And he said, what are you doing?
I'm just trying to make a living like you are.
Yeah.
So things like that went on all the time.
Yeah.
Uh, but you were, you were played in the, the, uh, Pro Bowl several years, didn't
you?
Yeah, I played, I played five years in the Pro Bowl game.
I played on two championship teams, the 58 and 59 Cole football team, which I
guess some
of the Packers would say that they were a better football team.
But I believe that the 57, 8, and 9 Baltimore Cole team maybe was the greatest
football team
ever assembled.
Uh, sure.
All right.
Somebody's from Baltimore here.
You, uh, you knew Bobby Lane.
You played with Bobby Lane?
Very well.
I played with him and I drank with him.
Yeah.
Now, now they, uh, uh, he has that reputation as a guy who enjoyed, uh,
drinking.
I don't know if he was like before the games or just for recreation.
Well, I would, I would swear to the almighty that a couple of times on the way
out of the
stadium, past him for the second half, I figured maybe he had a few shots at
halftime.
Oh, really?
I said, Bobby, you're a little, he says, well, I got to sort of straighten up.
Yeah.
Now, did you, did you ever drink during a game, Art?
Oh, no, not, no, no.
Heavens, no.
After, yes.
After, yeah.
After.
But no, you would never go in the locker in halftime and maybe just to get the
courage
up, uh.
Oh, no, uh, we used to, right before the, the, the game started, the coach
would give
you the, you know, the old pep talk.
Yeah.
And he'd say, okay, if you're not afraid, let's go.
Yeah.
So they'd push you out the door.
That's, uh, we had a coach, uh, Wee Buebanks, and he said we had to win this
game.
And he went off about 10 minutes telling him what we had to do.
We had to punch and scrape and scratch and bite and kick.
And he said, let's go.
He said, but for God's sake, be careful.
All right.
We, we have to be careful here.
We're going to pause.
We'll be right back to continue talking with Art Donovan.
Art Donovan is here, uh, former member of the Baltimore Colts.
Did you, how many championship games did you play?
Just two.
Just two.
And this is what, uh, Art looked like when he was suited up.
This is a pretty, there you go.
Yep.
That man means business.
What, uh, you mentioned, I mentioned, uh, Bobby Lane, uh, and you also, did you
room with
Don Shuler?
And, uh, Shuler and I and a fellow named Bill Pellington and Marchetti, we had
a, we bought
a home before we got married.
Uh, not us together, you know.
We did get married to girls.
And, um, uh, in 1955, uh, Shuler's a defensive back for us.
Now, he, he always seems like a pretty straight, even keel, normal kind of guy.
Well, but he isn't.
No, none of us really are.
Uh, I can't tell a lot of stories on him because he'll, he'd sue me.
He, that's the type of guy he is.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
Shuler, you know, Shuler down in Miami, he walks on water.
Oh, they love him, yeah.
But yesterday, he missed a rock somewhere.
Well, anyhow, we're playing the Rams in Baltimore, 1955, and he was covering
Tom Fears, who was
a great end, he was in the pro football hall of fame, and he was holding Fears,
and Fears
told him, Shuler, don't hold me.
About two plays later, Shuler held him again.
Dan Fears didn't hit him in a shot with an elbow, and he broke Don's jaw.
So now, Shuler's out for the rest of the year.
And the first day he gets back from the hospital, Pellington and I, Marchetti,
we said, well,
we'll stay in and babysit him for the night, and we'll, we'll cook him his
dinner.
All we could do was fry eggs real loose, you know.
He couldn't eat anything, so, so we got him
a straw and a glass, you know, and everything, and there's a guy who's 250, 270
pounds.
We're cooking dinner for him, the eggs, and we go to give him the eggs, and Shuler
goes,
yeah, stupid.
So, what's wrong?
He said, you didn't scramble him loose enough.
So, go cook your own meal, Shuler.
That's the type of guy he was.
He didn't like anything.
Yeah.
The best story about Shuler is, his, one of his assistants' name is Carl Tassif.
He's down there with him now.
He played with us with the Colts.
And we're out playing Green Bay in Milwaukee, and, you know, getting on the
plane, they say,
who is your roommate?
You know, Spinney Donovan.
Okay.
They say, Shuler.
Nobody answers.
No Tassif.
Here comes a, here comes a cab up to the airport.
Shuler jumps out, and he's got a cab he's had on.
And in the back is Carl Tassif, and he's got a package on now.
Shuler opens the door, and Tassif paid him the fare.
Then he got on the plane.
Now, where they got the taxi from, I don't know.
Oh, you mean, you mean these guys?
He stole the cab.
Stole the taxi cab.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Sure.
Boy, oh, boy.
Oh, beauty.
What, did you guys go to a lot of parties together, or, uh?
Oh, we were, that's what made it so good.
We were always partying, you know.
I mean.
And what were those events like, Art?
Uh, um, just drinking, you know.
You know, we had a lot of good, clean fun.
Yeah.
You know.
Like some guys falling out the window, or something like that.
Yeah.
But they didn't really get hurt, you know.
280 pounds.
I think the best start is playing the Rams out on the coast.
Now, that must have been excitement for a team from the East Coast to go out to
the West Coast,
where it was warm and sunny.
Warm was like 105 degrees on the, on the Coliseum floor.
You know, it's halfway down in the ground, anyhow.
And I had a weight problem.
I had to weigh in 275 every Friday.
So, I weighed 278, and Reeve Eubanks, who was our coach, fined me $2,000.
So, he said, but right before the game, if you guys, if you win, he says, I'll
talk to you
about your money, and I'll maybe give you the $2,000 bonus back.
Well, in the second half, we bust the game wide open.
They put a new quarterback in the Rams.
I said, well, thank God, he's going to run the clock out, and everything's
going to be okay.
This guy gets the ball.
He starts running all over the field, throwing 80-yard passes, and we're trying
to catch him.
And I'm screaming at him, and I couldn't caught him if he was on his knees.
That's how tired I was.
So, finally, I went in the Rams' huddle.
And I said to the quarterback, look, you stupid jerk, you can't win, run the
clock out.
And he looked at me and said, drop dead.
And I don't know what to say to him.
From our side, comes Bracey, who's our defensive end.
He hollers, Fatso, you're in the wrong huddle.
And we got penalized five yards for me being offside.
It's like poetry.
Fatso, you're in the wrong huddle.
We got applause for station identification.
We'll be back with our time.
And we'll be back with our time.
We'll be back with our time.
We'll be back with our time.
We'll be back with our time.
We'll be back with our time.
We'll be back with our time.
We'll be back with our time.
We'll be back with our time.
We'll be back with our time.
We'll be back with our time.
We'll be back with our time.
We'll be back with our time.
We'll be back with our time.
We'll be back with our time.
We'll be back with our time.
We'll be back with our time.
We'll be back with our time.
We'll be back with our time.
We'll be back with our time.
We'll be back with our time.
We'll be back with our time.
We'll be back with our time.
We'll be back with our time.
We'll be back with our time.
We'll be back with our time.
Thank you.
Hi there.
For a minute, I thought I was back in Okinawa.
No, no, no, no, no.
It's certainly high flattery, isn't it, boys?
Coming up in the-- and remember, the word for today is, hey, fatso, you're in
the wrong
huddle.
Coming up in the second half hour, we're already in it, the Deb of the Year.
You were Deb of the Year once, weren't you, Art?
Who?
And comedian Mark Schiff.
On tomorrow's program, from Blondie, Deborah Harry will be here, also Mr. Jay
Leno will
be joining us.
And I think we've said goodbye to Dave's talent search for tonight.
I know.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
We'll res-- it'll be all right.
We'll reschedule it and invite each and every one of you back.
Now, Art, tell me about Y.A. Tittle.
You played-- was he always with the Giants?
No, no.
He was with the Colts when I started.
He was a quarterback with the Colts.
Uh-huh.
He came out with the 49ers, then he came to the Giants.
Uh, Tittle, you know, I have some stories.
In fact, one time, he was the only guy making any money on the team at 50, and
he and his
wife invited us over for chicken dinner.
And we said, "Swell, but you have to bring your own chicken."
Uh-huh.
They told me Tittle was tighter than a clam with Lockjaw.
That's how you--
Yeah.
He just didn't spend any money at all.
Uh, Van Brocklin, he, uh, he was a quarterback with the Rams, and we played him
one time, and
they have these sophisticated defenses, like they tell you about on television
now, you know,
what you do.
Sure.
We were strong left, and Szymanski, who was the linebacker, he hollered to me,
"Move!"
And I moved, you see, and I said, "Well, he's wrong."
I said, "Y