Name: Dumb Ads on Letterman, January 20, 1988
Uploaded: 2019-03-31T20:52:27.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dumb Ads on Letterman, January 20, 1988' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-03-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dumb Ads on Letterman, January 20, 1988' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-03-31. Transcript available.

Thank you, boys.
Thank you so terribly much.
How about Tom Scott? Come on.
Tom Scott, that's right.
Coming up in this half hour, we're going to hear from William Graham,
insurance investigator, and also Tom Scott with our band.
Yes.
Much of what you've heard there tonight, you'll hear again.
No, that's not right, is it?
No, no, no.
No, it's something brand new.
All new, fresh material.
Yeah, all brand new.
Tomorrow on the program, Ed Begley Jr. will be here.
Also, Margaret Smith, very funny young woman,
and I have trouble believing this next one,
political columnist and commentator George Will,
the man who writes for Newsweek magazine.
Now, I happen to know this guy hates me.
About three years ago, see, I'm serious,
about three years ago, I got a nasty letter from George Will.
Are you sure it's the same George Will?
He knows I'm still hosting the show.
And he's going to be here?
What is he going to talk about?
About the letter.
I hear Pete talking in the control room.
Pete, just be quiet.
We're trying to do a show out here.
Anyway, George Will will be here tomorrow
and we'll settle our differences like real men.
I'm pretty good with my mitts, you know.
It's too hot.
We shouldn't be forced to do a show under these conditions.
It's too damn hot in here.
It's a little warm in here.
Is that what it is?
Dumb ads.
I don't know.
Just things we clipped out of magazines.
It's nothing like small town news.
Paul, you got music?
Well, I don't have any music for this, but Anton, actually, Anton.
Oh, Anton.
This would be nice.
Good.
Thanks, Anton.
I appreciate the extra effort on your part.
Okay.
Very nice.
Very nice, Anton.
These are...
I'm sure...
By the way, I'm sure we've done these before.
I'm sure you've seen these before, but I've been told differently, so we're
going to go
ahead.
Against my better judgment, I'm going to go ahead and do this, but I think it's
old material.
But I'm going to go ahead and do it now, and perhaps you'll enjoy it somehow.
Definitely brand new, fresh material.
I don't think so.
It was the Atlas Supermarket, 54th and College, Indianapolis, Indiana.
Best bagger, I bet, in the entire...
In the world.
This comes to us from a Chicago newspaper, a scarf-tying lesson conducted by
Gene Donars.
All right, Gene.
Okay, I have the scarf on now, but I have this code.
What the hell do I do with these buttons?
What?
I'm dehydrating.
That's the problem.
Number two, ad from a California newspaper.
We're very specific about this stuff.
A Chicago newspaper, a California newspaper.
Champagne fountain, free with your order or catered reception.
Exeter, or is that Exeter?
I don't know.
We don't know.
Exeter.
What possible difference could it make?
At Farmersville, get and go.
Sweetheart, it's the most wonderful day of my life, thanks to get and go.
I bet he doesn't show up.
I bet you're on the phone right now to George Will and he's canceling, aren't
you?
That is George Will, isn't it?
He's not coming.
Oh, that's Pete.
See if he can keep Pete away.
Number three, this is an ad from a Pennsylvania newspaper.
Shankwilers, while at last, filled pig stomach.
Hurry up, honey.
Get your coat on.
Shankwilers will be opening soon.
I know you're telling me one minute, but I'm going to finish the show with
these.
I'm going to do these the rest of the night.
And I'm going to do them again tomorrow night when George Will is here.
Just a snotty letter from the guy.
He wrote you a rotten letter?
Yeah, like four years ago.
Just a snotty little note.
About the show or just you personally?
Me.
Just about me.
Why would he come on your show?
I don't know.
I've always liked him.
I think he's very well groomed.
Don't you think he is?
I know.
Coupons.
Phase three.
The highest quality grocery coupon organizer built by anyone.
Only $3.99.
Oh, no, Dave.
What's the matter, Biff?
Oh, man.
Last month, I paid $3.99 for the phase two group grocery coupon organizer.
And now you're telling me it's obsolete?
That's right.
Damn.
Oh, okay.
This comes to us from the Minneapolis Star Tribune.
Official World Series video.
Suggested retail price, $19.98.
Yours for $19.87.
How do they do it?
All right.
Going down to this next one.
Let me do this next one.
I'm going to do this.
I don't care if anyone else gets on tonight.
We're going to do this one.
Who's left here on the big cavalcade of stars?
I'm sorry.
Here it is.
Here it is.
It's an ad from something we don't know.
We don't care.
You have over-dry sensitive skin.
Number two, you're itching to relieve the dryness and the itching.
Number three, you need new Vaseline intensive care formula for sensitive skin.
Now, I think this is an example of a wonderful ad.
This is just perfect.
What's the matter, Paul?
I have over-dry sensitive skin.
I'm itching to relieve the dryness and the itching.
I need new Vaseline intensive care formula for sensitive skin.
Paul!
Paul!
It's just...
Snap out of it.
It's just an ad.
Ah.
Excuse me.
I'm sorry.
But it's all new.
At least it's all fresh and new material.
You'll get a letter from George Will.
Huh?
Maybe we'll do a commercial.
Maybe we won't.
Huh?
You want to do one, Paul, or no?
Yeah, what the heck.
Who's next?
The insurance guy?
How bad do we want to see an insurance guy?
All right.
It's a mandate, so...
The public has spoken.
Yeah, we'll have to do this commercial and then William Graham will go.
Thank you.