Name: Buck Henry Collection on Letterman, 1987-1994
Uploaded: 2019-05-17T01:22:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Buck Henry Collection on Letterman, 1987-1994' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-05-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Buck Henry Collection on Letterman, 1987-1994' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-05-17. Transcript available.

Buck Henry Collection on Letterman, 1987-1994

you
He's over there. We'll just go over and we'll just say hello to her because she
looks great
On this trip you'll you'll know more what to say than I because you're very
very smooth with the gals
Excuse me. Thank you very much, but I really wanted to end of the groom. She's
right. Nice to see you
Good for you. She's right there too. Where is she exactly? She's right out in
that she's right. Nice work
Where she is where she's right here. Oh my gosh. Here she is. Look look. It's
now doesn't she look great?
Belinda you really just you know really nice to see you. We just really really
look we just wanted to tell you
You just look great. You just look fabulous. You want to spend the rest of the
evening with us?
Would you like to?
Yeah, it's hard for you to really say what you're thinking now, which is you'd
like us to leave you alone
I'm guessing is it do you have plans? Where are you going now? Um, I have to go
do an interview
Yeah, with who?
Slice magazine
With who? Slice magazine
Slice. Oh, it's the prestigious slice magazine
Uh, what is slice magazine? I don't know. Yeah, what is slice?
You are gather. It's a drink. Oh, yeah, it's yeah. It's video magazine. Yeah,
the person. Blow that off, babe
And come spend the rest of the evening with us. Come on. Well, just come on in
and have a seat. We really love you. Forget the magazine
It'll be great. We'll send out for something. Would you like something?
Let's go over and have a seat
Now get... You really do. You really do look great
Now get those... Don't... Don't let... Hang on. Who are those people? Don't let
those people in here
Who are those people? Are those like your deadbeat entourage?
Do you know those people? Like your PR people? Record people? Katie and Liz
from MCA
Oh, record people. Get the record people out. Everybody else can stay. No, no,
the deadbeat record
people have to go. Goodbye. That's all right. Goodbye. That's all right. Okay.
What?
Yeah, the weasel management people. Just get them out of here. Now
Now we're going to bring out our first guest and you can sit right over there
and if you have something to add
You know Buck Henry? Um, yeah, I do know Buck Henry
Yeah, I think you'll be delighted to see you. Okay. And he will love you, too
Okay. So now when he comes out, Belinda, just you're gonna have to move over
one. Okay, I will. All right? I will. Okay
This will be great. Slice Magazine. She's giving up... Did they try to make you
think it was Life Magazine?
I don't know. I don't know. Um, my first... Yeah, there they are. Good. They
should stay out there. What a pathetic scene that is
No, that's where they belong, damn it
Our first... Maybe we should get her in here to explain the hat, huh?
Well, that's your hat
Uh, anyway, our first guest is a, uh, he's an actor, he's a writer, and he's
also a director whose screenplays include
The Graduate, and Heaven Can Wait, and this season he will be appearing as a
member of the cast of Falcon Crest
Folks, it's a pleasure for me, and, uh, give him a big welcome to say hello to
Buck Henry
Come on out here, Buck
It's an exciting night so far, don't you think? It's so incredible that, uh, I
have a photograph I took of her a few weeks ago in a wetsuit that I'll be glad
to send you
A reasonable fee. So you two, uh, live near one another, know one another, have,
uh, met before, worked before?
Uh, uh, we've never, uh, no, we've never worked, we do know one another, we don't
live anywhere near one another
I know Belinda, I know her husband, who'll be pretty angry when he sees this
mess
Now, you know, uh, for a long time, and I, and I only mean this in a really
positive sense, I've certainly been an admirer of, of your work as a, as an
actor, and, and a writer, and a, uh, director, and so forth, and it's a real
pleasure for me to have you on the show
Certainly my pleasure, and I mean that in a completely positive sense
So, so let's, why don't you tell us a little bit about your, your, your
personal life, because we, we know about your professional life, I mean, you
have amazing credits, you've accomplished many things in your lifetime, but we,
I know nothing about you as a, as a private person
Very few do, uh, I'm even at a loss
Sometimes to explain to myself what I do when I'm not doing whatever it is I do
that you know about
Right
Specifically, what would you like to know?
Well, um, in your free time, what do you do, do you, do you go on vacations, do
you have hobbies, do you have pets, do you cook?
I'm not allowed to have pets
Why, why is that exactly?
Because of one of my hobbies
I see
That makes perfect sense
Um
Hi Paul
He's an old friend of mine
I know, you guys have worked together before
He studied under me at the conservatory
Um, I know you, you read a lot, you do an awful lot of reading
I will go anywhere and do anything at least once
Uh, that's, that's fairly well known about me and it's certainly kept me in a
good deal of trouble over the years
Uh-huh
Um, but, but, uh, I, I do what normal people do when I'm, uh, when I'm not
doing whatever abnormal people do
Uh, I, I go to films, I go to plays
Mm-hmm
Just like you do
Mm-hmm
Do you?
Yeah
No, I do, yeah
I go to films, I go to, I go to plays
You read books
Read books, that's right
Do you travel?
I have traveled, yes
Probably, probably not as extensively as you have, but I've, I've, I'm three
times as old as you are
No, I wouldn't, no, you'd be 120, Buck
120 is an exaggeration, but it's not far off
Um, you, you, you know, I didn't, it didn't occur to me that you had, uh, upset
at one point in your career, Walter Cronkite
That completely went by me
Oh, yeah, well, it's gone by a lot of folks, it may have even gone by Walter,
but the, it's, it's, it's, it's an odd story
You're referring to CINNA, of course
Right
Society for Indecency to Naked Animals
Now, what, what, what year was this? Was this in the, uh, late 60s?
It was, no, it was early 60s, I think it was 61
Uh, for those of you who are too young, or too careful to remember, um, this
was an organization that
was founded in an afternoon by, uh, by a friend of mine, uh, who enlisted me as
the president of an
organization called the Society for Indecency to Naked Animals to suggest to
the American public that
there was a kind of obscenity in our midst that we hadn't noticed, namely unclothed
pets and
barnyard animals, and I went on the air to do it once as a kind of a joke,
although I pretended it was
straight and it, uh, ballooned into
Now, you didn't go on as Buck Henry
No, I went on as, uh, G. Clifford Prout
The, the president of the organization
Prout
Prout
Uh-huh
And it was, it was so reasonable that everybody picked it up, I got into a lot
of papers, and then
Walter Cronkite picked up a piece, uh, I did in the, in the zoo in Los Angeles,
in which I
condemned the zoo as the burlesque show of the animal world
And sang the Cinna marching song, and it was quite browsing, got me pretty
excited
You, I don't suppose you remember a refrain or two of the marching song
Yes, I do
Although I haven't sung it now in some 20 years
Uh, it goes high on the wings of Cinna, we fight for the future now
To clothe every pet and animal, whether dog, cat, horse, or cow
Gee, Clifford Prout, our president, he works for you and me
To clothe every pet and join the fight for worldwide decency
And it goes on and on and on
All right, I tell you what, we'll, uh, I want to continue this, I want to hear
the rest of the story, I want to hear the outcome
And, Belinda, think of some really good questions for Buck
All right, and, uh, we'll be right back here after this commercial
All right, Buck Henry is here, and, um, Belinda Carlyle is here
And you're hating every minute of this, aren't you?
I'm, I'm so happy you could be here, and I, I apologize
Is this just awful? Are you just embarrassed beyond your wildest dreams?
Well, I just wasn't expecting this
But it's, uh, tell her why she's here, Paul
Well, because she really, really looks great
She's in great, great shape
She's in fabulous shape, and she, uh
And, and she has her mother's hair color now
And she's her hair, too
That's why
Yeah, she hates us all now
Yeah, I know she hates us all, and, uh
But you'll, you'll come back eventually, won't you?
Oh, yeah, definitely
Uh, okay, Buck, so anyway
Now, uh, to, to follow up here on the, we left you at the zoo with the marching
song
Yeah
Yeah
And Walter Cronkite
And then nothing happened between then and now, which is
But now, wait a minute, how, how did Walter Cronkite figure in this?
Oh, because it was a, a piece, a local piece that somebody did, uh, of, sort of
local color, and they fed it to the network news
And he put it on as the, as the last piece on, on a, uh, on one of the evening
shows
Uh, but it's straight
Not grasping the whimsy?
Not, uh, well, not, not really grasping the whimsy, or, or much of anything
else
Which is probably good advice, don't you think?
I never grasped the whimsy, it's, it's, it's too ephemeral and it can get you
in the end
Yeah, yeah
But, uh, he, he, you, you, I don't know, I don't know, they didn't come with me
Uh, but anyway, he was angry when he found out that, uh, I was an imposter
Yeah, yeah
But that must have been a certain amount of fun for you, to, to know that you
had gotten
Absolutely, I was actually traveling at the time and didn't see it or know
about it until some days later
Yeah
And, uh, they sent a guy after me to break my legs, but I don't care
That's the way Walter operates though, that's, that's a sure sign Cronkite is
mad
Uh, all right, now let's talk about your association with Falcon Crest
You explained to me that you're not necessarily joining the cast
I'm actually not a member of the cast
I, uh, I joined it as a cameo performer
For, uh, either three or four shows, I'm not sure
I, I actually haven't ever seen Falcon Crest
So, so I'm not, I tried to get someone to explain to me what the story was
In fact, Miss Wyman, who, who attempted bravely to, uh, to tell me how I fit
into this mass of peculiar people, but she couldn't do it
Yeah
Uh
Is Falcon Crest the, the, uh, it's not the spin-off of Dallas, that was Knott's
Landing, wasn't it?
I don't know
Yeah
I think it was, and I'm not sure whether it was a spin-off of anything, it has
to do with wine
Right
And, and you, and as you understand it, you will be what on the show?
I apparently have been hired by Miss Wyman to murder or to drive someone crazy
Um, and, uh, I, I, I seem to be a kind of expert in special effects and magic
Yeah
Uh, so, neither of which, of course, is true about my own personal life
I see
Which is why they chose me
Uh-huh
And, uh, so I do that, I drive someone crazy, but I'm not sure who it is
Um, but mainly that's because I, I didn't understand the script when I read it
Have, have you, have you done this already? Has it happened?
I've done it, yeah
You've done it, yeah
And you still don't have any more details
I have, I have no understanding of it at all
But I can't, I, I have a hard time following shows like that
What, what, what was it, what was the motivation for you personally to take the,
the, the gig, as we say?
An enormous amount of money
There you go
Um, I, I, it was only like three or four days
Uh-huh
And, and I said, will you give me almost everything in the world?
Uh-huh
And they said, sure
So I did it
Why not? Exactly
And it was fun, they were extremely nice people
And, uh, they, they fed me
Uh-huh
And they, uh, offered to, uh, drive me to the studio
An offer I didn't accept
I know better than that
Yeah
Um
Now, why, why do you know better than that?
Well, one, I live in a place where nobody can find me
So I know that they can never get a car there
And two, people have disappeared on those trips
Right
They come to pick you up
I didn't know that
And you're never heard of them
Oh, I didn't, I didn't realize that
Yeah, well, I think you were probably shrewd not to take him up on that
Yeah
Jimmy Hoffa was gonna do one of those
He said, right
He was scheduled to be on