Name: The Counterfeit Show on Letterman, October 12, 1983
Uploaded: 2019-06-21T01:00:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Counterfeit Show on Letterman, October 12, 1983' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-06-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Counterfeit Show on Letterman, October 12, 1983' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-06-21. Transcript available.

Paul, should I go over here? I'm so confused. Go over here.
Why don't you swing over there and kind of sit down in that nutty chair and get
this show underway, man.
Let's see, you look like it's some kind of Mexicali fest today, Paul. I don't
know.
Listen, I don't want to get into what I wear night after night because I want
to leave that to, you know.
I know, but this is generally a little more cheery than you look.
I went a little nuts today. Well, you know what's great about this rain is, you
know,
when you're, like, getting a flu bug and it's like, you know, kind of fighting
off being sick.
And it's wonderful to go outside in the pouring rain. Oh, yeah, yeah.
And that, you know. Stand out there, ankle deep in sewage.
So I thought I'd put on a nutty sweater to just kind of live.
Kind of offset. Well, that's nice. I appreciate that, Paul.
And we're going to have a good show here tonight for you.
But first, you know, this afternoon I received some rather disturbing news from
NBC.
It seems that somewhere in the Far East, possibly the Philippines,
someone is producing a counterfeit version of our program and smuggling it into
the United States.
Now, I know it gets worse, believe me.
This crude imitation late night is now being sold to TV stations across this
country for a fraction of the cost of the real show that you're watching now.
Now, I guess that these station owners either don't know the difference or
simply don't think anyone will notice the difference.
Well, we were able to get a hold of one of these knockoff shows, as they're
being called.
And when you see the following clips from it, I think you'll be able to spot
some clues that should prove to you that it isn't the genuine article.
Watch closely, if you will. Look at the monitors here in the studio.
Watch closely, if you will.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the show. My name is David
Letterman.
And we have a fine-looking group of humans in our audience.
And I think you'll agree with me that they're just plain big.
Did I tell you who's on the show? I mean, other than myself, David Letterman.
Oh, yes, the star of Superman I, II, and III, Christopher Reeve.
Superman I, II, and III, what's next?
Superman IV.
Now, actually, I wasn't fooled for a second by that, but apparently a lot of
people were.
But, you know, what really irritates me is the way that they have tried to
duplicate some of our most popular features on this imposter.
Our first guest on Stupid Petricks is Mary Washington and her dog, Jumpy.
Hi, I'm David Letterman.
Nice to meet you.
What does your dog do?
He moves around.
Oh.
Right?
Come on, move around.
You know, this stuff reminds me of some of our government officials.
For example, President Reagan.
He also reminds me of Vice President Bush.
Of course, it's hard to find guests for a sleazy rip-off like this.
However, even that problem hasn't stopped these pirates.
Take a look.
Welcome back to the show.
We're having more fun than humans should be allowed to have.
Folks, please welcome Christopher Reeve.
Thanks for being on our show.
You're a big star.
As I'm sure the audience knows.
Tell me, did you have any interesting experiences while filming the Superman
movies?
Yes.
Here.
Have a late night sponge.
We appreciate the fact that you're here.
Now, when you walk down the street, do people yell out,
Hey, Superman?
Yes.
You've done Superman 1, Superman 2, and Superman 3.
What's next?
Superman 4?
No, no, no, no.
Just a joke.
That was breaking loose.
Okay.
Tell me something about your next movie.
Wow.
Another star is dropping in.
What brings an actress like you here?
Well, I heard that Christopher Reeve was coming to be on your show,
and I thought I should drop in, since I'm a star too.
Well, we're honored that you're here.
Now we have two stars.
My, my.
Superman and Batgirl.
Sounds like a new musical group.
Well, I guess I don't have to tell you that that wasn't actually Christopher
Reeve.
We're not sure, however, if that was Marlo Thomas.
Now, this last clip is particularly depressing.
Watch this one.
Hey, I almost forgot.
The show's almost over, and I haven't said hello to our band leader.
You know him, and you love him.
Paul Schaefer.
Now, thank you.
Thank you, Dave.
You know, I've got to say something.
Doing the show and working with a nutty, marvelous sort of crew and a staff and
writers
and, of course, getting to work with you every day, I've got to say that it is
a fresh kick,
and I, and I really do mean that sincerely, big guy.
How was your weekend?
Well, I had the usual swinging time.
You know, I, uh, I went over to the beach with, uh, a couple of lunatics.
And where was this?
Uh, well, it was, uh, right here in the, uh, in the United States of America,
of course.
You know, uh, where we tape the show every day, right here in the USA.
I'm just, uh, sorry that Hiram and, uh, Will and Steve have been so sick.
And I haven't been around to help out lately.
You need to, Paul.
Well, we're out of time.
I want to thank everyone.
Good night.
Drive safely.
And remember, wake the kids and phone the neighbors.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
Paul, Paul, Paul.
Uh, let me, no, no, no.
Let me just say this.
Uh, it's true.
I was approached, uh, by a representative of a certain production company, uh,
and, you
know, some money was offered.
But I swear that is not me on the tape.
Is it, I don't know, you know, I don't know who it is.
Well, you know, it's, it's not so much that I'm angry.
I'm just disappointed.
We'll be right back with Stupid Pet Tricks, folks.