Name: Siskel & Ebert Collection on Letterman, Part 6 of 6: 1997-2000
Uploaded: 2019-07-24T00:21:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Siskel & Ebert Collection on Letterman, Part 6 of 6: 1997-2000' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-07-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Siskel & Ebert Collection on Letterman, Part 6 of 6: 1997-2000' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-07-24. Transcript available.

Siskel & Ebert Collection on Letterman, Part 6 of 6: 1997-2000

What bridge is that, Paul?
Is that the GWB?
Is that the Williamsburg?
Is that the Brooklyn Bridge?
That's the Tappan Z?
Yeah, that's GWG.
Yeah, something like that.
Going into Jersey.
Our next guests are not only two very respected and popular films,
but our film critics, they're also everybody's favorite couple.
Here they are, ladies and gentlemen, Siskel and Ebert.
Come on out here, boys.
How are you doing?
What do you think of that Richard Harris?
He's something, isn't he?
He is great.
He is funny.
Good actor, too, isn't he?
He just told us he liked the picture backstage.
He told us a film that wasn't nominated, Looking for Richard, the documentary
by Al Pacino on Shakespeare.
I made it my 10 best list.
He thought it was fabulous.
When actors say it's great and Pacino's great in it, that's a big
recommendation.
That's an indirect way of saying the Academy Awards screwed up the documentary
category again this year.
They don't know what they're talking about anyway.
Now, he was in the Clint Eastwood film, The Unforgiven, is that what it was?
Yes, he was.
He played the English Bob?
Yes.
Oh, that was a great part.
Great film.
Did you guys like that film?
Not as much as Roger.
I liked it.
Oh, I thought it was great.
I thought it was like reading a book, like every scene was a new chapter.
I didn't think it was the anti-violence statement that a lot of people thought.
I didn't go to see an anti-violence statement.
I went to see a Western.
I saw a good one.
Yeah.
There you go.
Yeah.
Ouch.
Let's get right to the predictions.
First of all, were you guys satisfied with the nominations yesterday?
Satisfied with the grip?
I don't think that she was satisfied with the grip?
Satisfied with the grip?
I don't think that she was.
I don't think Madonna was satisfied with the grip.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Wait.
Wait.
In the arm wrestling competition.
Now listen to this.
Now listen to this.
The official would always say, your boy's satisfied with the grip.
Oh, I see.
And then they'd arm wrestle.
I'm sorry.
I had a little pre-show fun.
Boy, that's hilarious.
All right.
Now, seriously.
Start with me.
You guys enjoyed it?
You thought the nominations were all right?
I don't think it was a real snub as much for Madonna.
I don't think it was an act of conspiracy that everyone said, well, she
predicted it, so I'm not going to vote for her.
I think the quality that's not being talked about is there wasn't enough
surprise in the performance.
When you look at Fargo, Frances McDormand.
It was a great film.
And you say, wow, she's great in that.
When you see Blenda Brethin.
Blenda.
Brenda?
Blessing.
Satisfied with the grip?
Sickers and Lies.
Yeah, I'll try saying that.
Then you say, wow, who is that?
With Madonna, you're saying, okay.
It's Madonna.
You're saying it's an extended music video.
Madonna was really very good.
But if you look at the five nominees, probably the one who edged her out was
Emily Watson in Breaking the Waves.
And if you go to see Breaking the Waves, and I'm sure a lot of people now will
because it was nominated, you're going to see an amazing performance.
Okay.
You're the best picture.
I wouldn't have done without any of the other five nominees.
I'd say Courtney, if you're talking about rockers who got knocked out of the
competition, Courtney Love's work in People vs. Larry Flint is a tougher role
than Madonna's role.
Yeah, but as somebody, I think one of you guys pointed out, she was just
playing a drug addict anyway.
No, that was what we weren't, that's what we didn't point out.
We pointed out that that was wrong.
The English patient, that's somebody else pointed out, that's Oscar bait, that's
got Oscar written all over it, the English patient.
Fargo, that would be me.
I'd vote for that one.
Me too.
By the way, that's the only one of those I've seen.
The English patient, Fargo was great.
Look right into the camera and let's tell them all.
We all agree, vote for Fargo.
Fargo, yeah.
Vote for Fargo.
Jerry Maguire, though, people say is very, very good.
Sex and Lies have not seen that shine.
I would love to see.
Secrets and Lies.
Secrets and Lies.
Sex and Lies.
What the hell am I thinking about, huh?
Grips, obviously.
Are you satisfied with the exact size of your day?
Are you satisfied with the grip?
Like my honeymoon, you know what I'm saying?
All right, best actor, pretty boy Tom Cruise.
Well, there you go.
No more calls, call the police.
No, I think it'll be Shine.
I think Shine will win.
No, Shine and the guy from Shine, Jeffrey Rush.
Jeffrey Rush was here last night.
Don't be surprised if Billy Bob Thornton pulls it out.
Oh, there, he was also here.
That's a great part.
You guys see that one?
Yes, I loved it.
Yeah, that's a good film.
Yeah, but I think it'll be pretty boy Tom Cruise.
No, Jeffrey Rush, they go for actors who conquered problems.
No, no, no, no, they want the glamour.
They want the glamour.
They want pretty boy out there with his wife.
Well, what greater problem could there be to conquer them being a sports agent?
Yeah, exactly.
Good point, Roger.
Thank you very much.
All right, best actress, Brenda Blethen in Secrets and Lies.
You guys love that.
Oh, Diane Keaton in Marvin's Room.
I hear she's great.
She's very good in it, and she finally dropped the Annie Hall characterization,
and I think
that's why that performance stood out against Meryl Streep, who was a co-star
in the film.
Frances McDormand in Fargo.
She's the one.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
She's the one.
Are you talking about a Fargo sweep here?
I'd love to see it.
I'd love to see it.
We'd love to see it.
We'd love to get a couple of Academy Awards.
Absolutely.
That'd be great.
Have they won before, these guys?
No.
That would be great, wouldn't it?
They're as good of filmmakers as we have right now in America.
That's what I'm afraid of.
They make very interesting, quirky, unusual films.
But the Academy, either they'll go, screw the Academy.
You know what I'm saying?
Hey.
And that whole name.
Hey.
Yeah.
What do you need?
Why are you hostile toward the Academy?
What in your life would make you hostile to the Motion Picture Academy?
I'll be right back with the boys, ladies and gentlemen.
Okay, so we've covered pretty much everything that matters regarding the
Academy Awards, right?
We think it's going to be, we'd like it to be Fargo.
There are going to be so many new faces this year.
Those billion people around the world won't know who they are.
Cuba Gooding Jr. is pretty good.
He was here as well.
I'd like to vote for the guys who were here.
But William H. Macy, again in Fargo.
It's not a likable role, to say the least.
That's a great part.
That imploding doofus, this harebrained scheme, that's hard to play.
He's not even smart enough to make up even a half-baked lie.
He can't even explain how he knows that he doesn't have a power missing from
his law.
And the resentment toward his rich father-in-law, you know that's really dead
on.
They got that perfectly right.
It's a lovely characterization.
And also, Macy, McDormand, and Fargo.
Really give you the sense that this is the northern plains of the United States.
The whole movie's a whiteout.
It's beautiful.
All right, Star Wars, what about that?
Now, wasn't that out once before?
Yeah, 20 years ago.
20 years ago.
What do you think of that?
Now a whole new generation can see it on the big screen.
It's just a gimmick.
It's just a gimmick to get your eight damn dollars.
Let them see it on the big screen.
Rent it.
Rent it.
Go down to the blockbuster and rent the son of a bitch.
Donnie, speak.
Donnie, speak about the volcanoes.
Love the lava.
Hate the actors.
It's just Twister, except with volcanoes, right?
Very good.
People being chased by volcanoes.
You put on a little weight.
I'll do the show with you.
Huh?
What's he talking about?
The beautician and the beast?
That's a friend, the nanny.
The nanny friend.
Just redid the TV show.
Dave, how about pitching a question to me?
Oh, well, you're not right here.
I'll lean back.
Thanks a lot, Gene.
Oh, there he is.
Hi.
I didn't even know you were here, Roger.
I'm sorry.
Oh.
Okay, we got the Chinese acrobats coming up.
You guys want to stick around?
Yeah, sure.
All right, we'll be right back with the Chinese circus.
Howdy.
Roger.
Roger, why don't you do it?
Since you're feeling left out, why don't you introduce the circus?
Thanks.
Our next guests perform an amazing century-old acrobatic act and appear
regularly in Las Vegas
at the Holiday Inn Casino Boardwalk.
Please give a nice, warm welcome.
How am I doing, Dave?
Not bad.
The Far East Circus.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nice going, boys.
Excellent job.
David Sanborn, Paul Schaefer, and the kids.
Thank you very much, Roger.
Thank you, Gene.
Pleasure.
And, well, good luck, or whatever you say.
My thanks to the Far East Circus, Richard Harris and David Sanborn.
Peter O'Toole tomorrow night.
Tom Snyder is next.
Thanks for watching.
Good night, everybody.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
For more than 20 years, our first guests have confused moviegoers with their
cryptic thumbs
up, thumbs down.
What the hell does that mean?
Here now to usher in the summer blockbuster film season, please welcome the
lovely, the talented
Sid, Siskel, and Ebert.
Kids.
Nice to have you.
Nice to have you here.
You know, I...
Hey, Jackass, you're on a hidden camera.
Excellent.
Excellent.
Excellent.
You guys worked that out ahead of time.
It took us a lot of thought.
I appreciate that.
Happy birthday.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
Can we tell the folks how old a man you are?
Uh, 39.
No.
Yes, again.
I'm 55.
55.
Yes.
You guys had a little party, a little soiree, a little celebration?
I had no party for Roger at all.
No, there was no party.
No.
I gave him a piece of my cake.
That's nice.
Did you give him anything as a gift?
I gave him absolutely nothing.
Why?
Now, why?
You should do something.
I give him something every Wednesday.
My presents, his paycheck.
Isn't that sweet?
I was waiting for him to take me to a Bulls game, but no luck.
I saw Biff there.
He was quite...
Yeah, we saw you, as a matter of fact, there.
Yeah, Chicago.
Yeah, it was a thrilling day.
He is the Jack Nicholson of Chicago.
You know, that's fine.
I'm not that good an actor.
Hey, hey, I got questions here.
It just occurred to me, somebody called this to my attention, that your show,
the show
that you guys own and operate or run or whatever, your movie review show, is in
fact produced
by Disney.
Produced by Disney.
Sleepy?
Yeah, we were certainly hoping you would bring that up tonight.
Ah, he's on a fake camera.
It's not hidden camera, all right?
Look, they're everywhere.
But so now, do you have any sort of creative editorial autonomy, or are you
under the thumb
of the mouse?
Well, I just dumped all over Hercules.
Yeah?
Hercules is out, and I knocked it.
So I would think that would sort of...
Gene was incorrect in doing that.
I think it's a wonderful picture.
You thought it was a pretty good movie?
Yes.
He is Michael Eisner's favorite dwarf now.
He's a little kissy to me.
Thank you for calling me a dwarf.
We've at least given more thumbs down than thumbs up to Disney Pictures over
the years.
But now, seriously, this raises an interesting question.
Is there some sort of policy?
Have you had a meeting?
Was there a memo?
Arms length.
Arms length.
They stay away from you guys.
They don't talk to us.
We don't talk to them.
Our whole show is based on our credibility.
That would screw it up.
Well, that's right.
But that makes me wonder now.
You have to work extra hard...
To prove it?
No, to protect that.
To protect that.
Not to prove it, but to protect that.
We just tell the truth.
We've been doing it for a long time.
That's what we do.
Gene didn't like Hercules.
He said so.
Yeah.
But it must rankle you.
Doesn't it rankle you?
Doesn't it irritate you?
Yes, rankle and irritate you.
Rankle.
That Disney is co-opting and usurping American culture?
Doesn't it just drive you nuts that everything's got to be Disney?
I like the parks.
I do.
I do like the parks.
Eve