Name: Trump's 1st Tweet & Top Ten on Letterman, May 4, 2009
Uploaded: 2019-08-28T02:43:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Trump's 1st Tweet & Top Ten on Letterman, May 4, 2009' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-08-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Trump's 1st Tweet & Top Ten on Letterman, May 4, 2009' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-08-28. Transcript available.

Ladies and gentlemen, here's tonight's top ten list.
Category tonight, oh, and they're worried now that this recession could go on
and on and on.
So I said to myself, what can we do to help people feel better about the
recession?
And somebody said, information, information, that's how you fight ignorance,
information.
Let's throw some information at the folks. They're going to feel better.
So tonight, ladies and gentlemen, the category is Donald Trump Financial Tips.
Donald Trump Financial Tips.
And here to present the top ten list, the celebrity apprentice star, Donald
Trump, ladies and gentlemen.
Donald Trump, ladies and gentlemen.
Okay.
We had a woman in the audience over the weekend, won 60 bucks on the Kentucky
Derby.
60 bucks.
You've got to bet big to win big.
Okay, here we go.
Donald Trump Financial Tips, number ten.
Only buy things that are essential, like golf courses and beauty pageants.
Number nine.
When nobody's watching, I go into the 7-Eleven and stick my head under a soda
nozzle.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Number eight.
Save money by styling your own hair.
Yeah.
Yeah, buddy.
Yeah, buddy.
Number seven.
Sell North Dakota to the Chinese.
Yeah.
Number six.
Double your money at the Trump Taj Mahal Casino, home of the loosest slots in
Atlantic City.
Yeah.
Number five.
Very simple.
Just panic.
Yeah, that's right.
Number four.
For tip number four, simply send me $29.95.
Yeah.
Number three.
If all else fails, steal someone's identity.
Yeah.
Number two.
We're screwed.
Yeah, that's right.
And the number one Donald Trump financial tip.
The fastest way to get rich, marry and divorce me.
There you go.
Always a pleasure.
How's the baby?
Good for you.
Donald Trump, ladies and gentlemen.
Let's be right back with Gordon Ramsay.
Everybody.
Everybody.
Everybody.