Name: Valerie Harper on Letterman, February 13, 1990
Uploaded: 2019-08-31T01:36:20.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Valerie Harper on Letterman, February 13, 1990' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-08-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Valerie Harper on Letterman, February 13, 1990' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-08-31. Transcript available.

Now, let's see, what else do we want to do?
In the audience, oh, by the way, tonight's show,
you know, the Today Show is in China all week?
Yeah.
And the NBC Nightly News is coming to you from China.
This show also is originating tonight from China.
So we just hope you enjoy it.
That's wonderful.
Just remember, when you read those cards, read from top to bottom.
That's right.
That's right.
And it's crazy here because you leave your shoes out at night
to have them shine if we're in the morning
and you never see them again.
Never see them again.
Chinese rim shot.
In lieu of actual material, we just have plenty of sound effects.
And I don't normally introduce people in the studio audience
because normally there is no one in the studio audience.
But tonight, I believe this is this gentleman's second visit to our show.
The chairman, the chairman, Paul, not an underling, not an assistant.
No.
Not an attache.
No, sir.
Not an undersecretary.
No.
The chairman.
The actual chairman.
Exactly.
Of the Federal Communications Commission.
Uh-oh.
Dennis Patrick is here.
Is Mr. Patrick, Commissioner Patrick up there?
Nice to see you.
How do we know that's really the guy?
He looks a little young for the job, doesn't he?
Yeah, he really does.
I have a question for you relating to the FCC and television in general.
You know the NBC show, Valerie?
Yes.
It's called Valerie.
Well, Valerie Harper is no longer the star of the damn show.
So don't you think they ought to be forced to change the name?
We're going to look into that, David.
By God, he's going to look into that, Paul.
This is like the time Ed Koch shows up at Yankee Stadium to watch us play softball.
That's right.
He may have a little too much free time, the commissioner, here.
Maybe he's here for a reason.
Maybe he's here to...
You never know.
The Grim Reaper.
He's here.
Are all of our permits up to date and everything?
Our first guest tonight has, listen to this now,
has been on two of the most successful situation comedies in the history of
television.
First, of course, there was the Mary Tyler Moore Show.
And then after that, or I guess simultaneously with that,
there was Rhoda.
And she was briefly the star of Valerie.
And now she has a brand new show called City.
Ladies and gentlemen, here is Valerie Harper.
Hi, Valerie.
Nice to see you again.
Hi, I love you.
Hi, you got great.
Yeah.
Good?
I can't hear.
I'm sorry.
I just told her folks.
How are you doing?
It's Valerie Harper.
Thank you.
Happy New Year.
Happy New Year to you.
So you had this one show, this Valerie show on NBC, and then there was trouble.
Right.
So you weren't on the Valerie show anymore.
I was wrongfully fired.
And I might add, at a time before the court case,
and everybody saw that I was telling the truth,
and that I was fired, and I won a big settlement, et cetera.
Oh, how big was the settlement?
Big.
Really?
And to be bigger, more, I think, because of if it sells disindication.
But you, on this show, gave me such comfort late at night,
taking polls of the audience.
It's the woman's name.
Shouldn't she, if she leaves the show, if she's fired,
shouldn't she take her name?
And the FCC commissioner was here one night,
and you forced the man to agree with you.
Oh, I remember that.
It was so, I can't tell you, David, it was great.
Yeah.
Bravo for DL.
So I get a piece of that settlement, is what you're saying.
Well, we should look into that.
I think so.
You should certainly warn the ladies' heart.
But that was the deal.
That was, I don't know what the issue was,
but the reason I felt so strongly about it,
when I first started this show, there was talk of firing me, too,
because they thought I was stealing things up in the office.
Oh, I see.
Did they have just cause for that?
No, but then it was, the show was originally Valerie.
That was the name of the show.
Right.
And then you left for whatever reason.
Right.
And then they had Sandy Duncan come in.
I was fired.
You were fired.
For whatever their reason.
And then they had Sandy Duncan come in,
and they called it Valerie.
But they still wanted to call it Valerie.
Yes, Valerie, yes.
And we went to court, and there was a preliminary injunction,
and it started to seem to go in our direction at that time.
Someone, the attorney for NBC said,
look, if Ms. Harper would allow us to keep the name Valerie,
you know, Valerie's family,
so that the viewers could find the show,
they would be willing to do what they call,
euphemistically, David, it's called Rent-A-Judge.
It's shared court maintenance costs.
Oh, I see, I see, okay.
But both sides pay.
That meant my case would come to court very quickly,
and it did in one year instead of waiting the five years
that you usually need to.
So it was to our advantage to do that.
And then as soon as the time was up and I won the case,
then it became the Hogan family.
Now, who the hell are the Hogan's?
Were there Hogan's when you were on the show?
Yes, my name was Valerie Hogan.
Oh, you were Valerie Hogan, I see.
And there was Michael Hogan, my husband,
who kept taking off from the airplane.
Now, how did they write you out in the show?
They killed me in a car crash.
Wow.
However, wow.
This is a situation comedy?
Yes.
Kids, mom's, dad.
I know.
You know, I wonder how they were able to do that.
I really thought that,
because a lot of kids did watch the show.
That was often a question.
Now, is that show doing well without, you know,
is it doing okay?
It's doing fine.
When I was on the show,
the last few times,
the last few shows,
we're in the top 10 a couple of times,
in the top 20,
because we were after Alf.
Alf was a great lead-in.
Oh, yeah.
I know, but that's the way it goes.
I know exactly the way it goes, of course.
That's why I'm happy.
But now, but you know,
at the time all of this was going on,
everybody was saying,
well, it should be Sandy.
Call the show Sandy,
because it's Sandy Duncan.
Yeah, but they needed to cab viewer
recognizability in a huge tax schedule.
Is Sandy a Hogan?
She's the sister of Michael,
so she's an aunt.
So she's not a Hogan.
Oh, she is a Hogan.
She's a Hogan.
Not married.
Well, she was married and is divorced,
but her maiden name was Hogan,
so she's a Hogan.
It's the Hogan family.
And I had a ton of friends on that show, David,
so I really didn't have an investment
in seeing it sink.
I didn't want to do that.
Now that they're opposite us,
I want to be...
So now that's what I'm getting to.
Now you have your brand new show on CBS,
which is called City.
City, right.
You're not a Hogan on this show.
No, I am a Gianni.
You're a Gianni.
But formerly a Dugan.
Oh, okay.
Now, so you're going head-to-head
with your old show.
That's true.
Now, is that a...
It's weird.
It's weird because I have emotional investment.
Like Jason, I'm glad he's been able
to work all this time in that show.
Jason is...
Jason Bateman, who plays...
He's a doll.
He's a sweetheart.
And the lady, you know, the wardrobe woman,
it's like you have a relationship with Candy,
my makeup people, and...
Oh, I didn't mean it that way.
Oh, my.
So she's great.
She did me in two minutes.
Candy is our makeup artist.
Yeah.
Candy is our...
I didn't mean it, though.
I just said her name
because she's so good.
The audience is getting ugly over this.
I know.
Well, she's very pretty and blonde.
Maybe they...
She's a very...
She's a lovely woman.
Yeah.
But the point is,
you employ people that you work with
that you don't want their jobs to be in.
I understand.
So that was the deal.
Also, the girl that plays Penny
on the new show City
is the real-life sister of Danny Ponce.
Her name's Luanne Ponce.
She plays my 19-year-old daughter
on the new show.
Her brother was my son.
One of the twins.
Yes!
I'm a woman.
Man, a lot.
That's a gallery.
I know.
I know.
Now, tell me about the new show.
It's City,
and you play City Council...
What do they call them?
No, City Manager.
You're the City Manager.
It's not an elected post, David.
It's a person who has to order
the garbage trucks,
you know, the gas for everything.
You implement everything
that needs to be done.
The budget concerns of the city
across her desk.
So what city is this?
It's every city.
Wow.
It could be a city in Indiana.
But they're looking
looking at like kind of
Cleveland, Pittsburgh.
Kind of a solid Midwestern,
blue-collar town?
Kind of.
I guess.
More east than west,
more north than south.
And New Yorkers claim
that it's New York.
They said,
I know that skyline.
I said,
the skyline they're using
is Cleveland, L.A.,
and one other city
that I don't know what it is.
You know,
I got a great idea
for both your show
and the Sandy Duncan show.
If something happens,
there's a fire
or something blows up
in the house
and they have to move
and they move into your town.
Would that,
I don't know,
would that be anything?
Hey, listen,
it's show business and TV.
It can work.
I've worked on worse ideas.
Good.
Now.
Or I've been giving scripts
that were much worse than that.
Anyway,
it's just,
you're one of those people
in television
who people like so well
that you have
a really successful,
long-running career,
and I hope it continues.
I hope so, too.
Great.
From your lips to God's ears.
Thank you for being here.
Nice to see you.
It's my pleasure.
Nowhere you have to,
ladies and gentlemen.
Would that I'd like
to be a pleasure?
I'd like to be a pleasure.