Name: Bev Tanner Collection on Letterman, 1989-1999
Uploaded: 2019-09-06T04:37:41.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bev Tanner Collection on Letterman, 1989-1999' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-09-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bev Tanner Collection on Letterman, 1989-1999' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-09-06. Transcript available.

Bev Tanner Collection on Letterman, 1989-1999

the band
you know it may be true that man cannot live by bread alone but you could base
a very
pleasant existence on my next guest's orange rolls and cinnamon knots please
say hello
to the baking lady bev tanner oh bev are you here hi bev nice to see you how
are you
you know uh you you've been baking here all day haven't you oh yes i have i've
made over 12
dozen uh exciting things you know like spud nuts and things like that i come
from idaho and
potatoes grow in idaho right what town in idaho oh boise the capital it's a
beautiful state isn't
it yes it's a beautiful state everybody ought to go there right oh yeah i you
know i've been to idaho
but my point was that it smelled wonderfully all during rehearsal this
afternoon for your baking
efforts oh did you try one i haven't had a chance okay here we go listen david
have you ever made
bread before yes i have oh well we're not gonna make bread right i don't know
we're making rolls
gonna make rolls never made rolls hey this is a fantastic machine here and i've
whipped up all
this dough this is for you but you may want to put some flour on your hands
first okay bev is someone
chasing you
okay here you go thank you very much just rub it all over your hands okay and
this is your dough and i'm
the role of a pinch hitter right okay so i go ahead and knead the dough yes and
i want to tell you this has
wonderful ingredients more is better correct yeah right uh-huh you know i'm
here don't you bev you're
doing wonderful you're just doing wonderful okay let's see um it smells yeasty
good it has yeast in yeah
uh yeast makes it rise you know okay all right so um oh that's beautiful okay
now you need to roll it
out yeah it's time to roll it out i'm stuck i need a little more flour uh on
your hands okay what do you do
back there in in idaho uh listen i am a mother of 14 children let me tell you
that
uh david put your dough down okay that answers most of my questions
um david well listen i have to tell you the names of my children i'll hurry
okay we have marion and mike
and max uh roll it this way okay kind of like this i roll it which way this way
so would that be
longitude or perfect okay listen don't leave your dough there
okay now give me the names of your kids again here we go we had marion oh he's
wonderful right then we
had mike and matt and then we had maryland okay then we had uh mark and morris
and milo then we had
melanie kaye we had mel and mace and mon and mintis sue and merle and matthew
wow
that's my family okay i guess it's safe to assume that your husband doesn't
travel
well listen my husband is wonderful well i know i mean yeah sure what more
proof could you need
and you know he raises beef cattle yeah seven tall beef cattle okay okay that's
just perfect
does that look nice sure that's perfect okay all right listen okay now david
you don't mind getting
your fingers into this this is wonderful this is the orange goo right this is
the orange goo and it's
grated orange and pure butter right okay from idaho cows right okay and so you
just spread that all over
okay well you can do i need a little more of this okay that's all right okay
but just get it all over
you're just dabs of it not really spreading right wasn't wasn't dolly uh dolly
parton or something
oh she was absolutely gorgeous she's too skinny
anyway um let me just say that um okay i'll give you a second to say something
if you really want to say something okay you have to roll this up like this
what roll this up like
this okay okay you're making me a little jumpy i'm getting nervous myself okay
this is thread you
can have this piece okay and i'll get me a piece you know what you're going to
do with that no listen
you are going to cut your uh where's mine
it gets away from it doesn't do like this and cut it like this right we're
cutting with this yes okay
it's wonderful to cut yeah and the main thing should there be a rabbi here for
this bet
you know you asked me about my family i want you to know that families are
forever right of course
okay and so um i taught all my family how to cook and the main thing you need
oh you did good you did
wonderful oh well if you ever get these in idaho buy one they're great but they
don't give them
okay listen david the other thing i need to show you is these are twists and i'm
going to show you how
how to tie it in a knot you just twist it like this all right and tie it in a
knot like that those are
the cinnamon knives right and we're going to put it right on there okay here
you go here you go tie it
tie it in a nut tie it in a nut all right
david look what i baked for you earlier
oh are those hot oh they're hot
they smell great now now maybe we can pass some of those to the audience
ah we have to do applause for a commercial we'll be right back
does it smell good in here does it smell like freshly baked goods freshly baked
baked goods well our next
guest has been conducting baking classes in idaho morty uh for the last 10
years ladies and gentlemen
please welcome back to the program the baking lady bev tanner bev
hi bev how are you nice to see you
i'm an addict of yours is that right i watch you every night i stay up really
late i certainly
appreciate that and i'm real addicted to you good for you thank you how are
things in boise oh
boise is wonderful we're having an indian summer there's no rain but i love the
rain i grew up in
california and rain is just wonderful so i love the rain and it's kind of like
magic right okay let me
remind you something bev once i do the plug no more materials
it doesn't make any difference it doesn't make any difference what is the plug
no it doesn't make
any difference let's just let's just bake let's go let's go nuts let's bake our
brains out are
you ready are you ready well i mean yeah right there we're ready to go i haven't
uh i haven't uh
well yeah that's right be careful not to get any on the suit put them together
there you go this is
super dough super dough really let's see we'll get some comic strips and let's
see if it'll pick it up
no listen uh david we're going to do something a little bit different than we
did the last time
okay uh we need to have you uh how many kids do you have oh i have 14 still and
they all they're
their names all begin with them right that's right uh-huh name them quick yeah
mary and mike max
maryland mark morris milo melanie uh mel face mount menta sue maryland matthew
okay
okay uh david you know last time i was here we made orange rolls orange rolls
and they were delicious
you did have some no right promise okay well listen i just want to tell you
that anytime one of our sons
comes home with the new uh prospective wife why we serve them an orange
breakfast and it's orange rolls
and orange julius and um baked eggs with orange cheese on the top does that
sound neat it sounds
great yeah if they like it they join the family if they don't they don't okay
uh uh listen you need to
i can't imagine anyone not wanting to join the family
listen uh david you need to roll this out where am i i'd rather do it with my
hands can i just do it
like that oh super great oh you're don't tear it be careful don't tear it okay
uh so this is with
tomatoes olives and anchovies no no no no this is uh oh we're just uh we're
making this up as we go
right okay but i've done it before okay because i guess so with 14 kids okay um
that's just fine
that is just fine okay now down the center we want all of this audience know
how to do this
because this is so exciting all right okay so down the center are you we're
talking i'll work at the
bottom you just put uh little pieces of butter right okay okay and i'll put
some from the top
with the bottom just down the center hello the center
david they told me i might have trouble with you
okay okay plenty oh that's not too good david so what are you using there about
about a pound of
butter bev yes one quarter of butter uh let's put cinnamon on and you know you
have to put a lot
of cinnamon do you like cinnamon oh i love cinnamon okay all right put cinnamon
on you know the uh
difference oh that's funny okay all right uh listen uh you know i always use a
little bit of ground
mace right ground mace yeah because i have a son named mace and every time i
use mace i think of him
that's cute that's very cute yeah okay did you did you just fly in today yes i
did let me tell you
i had so much trouble you wouldn't believe my luggage my mixer my great mixer
is um is at another airport i came into labordia and it's and my mixer's gone
to somewhere else
bev yes hello you had a drink on the plane didn't you
no oh okay listen dave uh this is braided apple okay i'll put this on because
it's kind of juicy for
you but you put nuts on nuts all right right over the apple not just down the
center right right
right now these these are what hickory nuts walnuts yeah both uh-huh okay that's
great wonderful a few
more yes uh-huh everybody like nuts okay is this like a a breakfast sort of no
this is for all times
the daytime nighttime in between time you notice the kids leaving home at an
early age bev
i'm sure they all come back because of the baking you know that which we
persist in doing becomes
easier to do you take the scissors and cut all up this side every half inch or
inch or so on okay
and do it fast because we're almost out of time we have to get this in the oven
right all right i'm
having a breakdown here yeah i am too because um you know we have to lengthen
our stride right i know
i know i know it'll be fine i'm sure it'll be delicious it'll be delicious it'll
just be fine
you're not even cutting through all right there there oh whoo i'm exhausted
okay come here we're all
get out of here we're gonna break this up you see oh you have to cut through
half a minute bev okay
all right half a minute break this up would you david you'll be getting at the
bottom and i'll
give it to me oh there goes the nice i am so jumpy now david this is wonderful
if you're just happy
give this break put it right there put it right there boy that's a beauty that
looks yummy yeah that's
beautiful listen david i want to let's taste it okay do you know what bud tenor
this is paul schaefer
how are you back you are okay okay okay fine okay okay listen i think this
bread to get to the audience paul does all our tasting oh for the audience oh
hot it's a little hot
very very good very good everyone we'll take the uh burn up here you want to
give it to you yeah i do i do i do hello everybody here hi i love the local
guys
good job for our guys
wow
our next guest is a mother and a grandmother a housewife and a teacher and a
woman ladies and
gentlemen who just loves to bake please welcome the baking lady bev tanner oh
bev come on out
bev you're uh you're from boise idaho right i'm still from boise idaho how is
the winter up there
uh hey we're on springtime oh we've got springtime in boise and it's wonderful
i love the spring don't
you yeah i do in the springtime a young man's fancy turns you know thoughts of
love sure oh is
that what that turns to oh i thought it was food no now but but how how was the
winter uh we didn't
have much of a winter oh really it was a mild winter yes usually usually you
think of boise
as having a lot of snow and no no no snow we're on the coast it was everything
was really wonderful
you say you're on the coast well i mean we were uh what did i say i don't even
know what i said
i thought you said i'm sorry maybe no listen i am sorry you've got a sore back
and maybe you've
got some other sores somewhere too
other sores no listen i really didn't mean to say that because i want to tell
you you know when they
first called me to be on your show i said who is david letterman you know
because i don't stay up that
late no i know not many people can it's very late but now i do and i think you're
wonderful thank you
and awesome and rad and terrific and all those things that's great thank you
very much now i can
hardly wait to be here to teach you how to do some exciting things we're