Name: David Letterman's Impressions Collection, 1985-93, Revised
Uploaded: 2019-09-15T17:10:33.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'David Letterman's Impressions Collection, 1985-93, Revised' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-09-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'David Letterman's Impressions Collection, 1985-93, Revised' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-09-15. Transcript available.

David Letterman's Impressions Collection, 1985-93, Revised

whatever uh you know what we thought we'd do in the next couple of weeks uh
since we're changing
networks uh most of everything we've done over the last 11 years will probably
never
be seen anywhere again which is fine because it's you know it's well there you
go
yeah now now ruth let me ask you a couple of questions about your show uh well
who's that guy
you're on there with that larry guy what's the deal on larry the way you are
saying that i heard what
you said in your monologue it wasn't me it was a lady up there in the audience
yeah never mind
never mind yeah who is larry what what's the deal on larry angelo larry angelo
and he's what to you
a fabulous co-host he's a co-host on the show he's there every night every
night
and every night you begin the show by saying what what do you say to larry hi
larry how are you no
no no you say hello larry hello larry you know what i realize how important it
is and that's also
something that i'm learning on that movie of how important the movie again wait
wait wait on the
cable tv how important it is when people work well together because when i sit
down with larry and when
i say it in that accent of mine let me hear it how do i say hello larry all
right i can see a gleam in
larry angelo's eyes because we really like each other and we work very well
together but he's got
i can tell he's got a lot of sexual problems this guy doesn't he david as you
know wasn't that part
of the deal david you'd treat him for free if he was the co-host david as you
know i never ask personal
questions except if they ask me now tune in and take a look at this larry and i
think you'll agree with
me ladies there is no light at the end of the tunnel for this guy he's just
kidding here
thank you paul thank you we have a uh if you're just joining us we have a
wonderful program for you
uh tawny welch is here filmmaker john waters and a man who is the coordinator
of the paper airplane
contest and don't think he doesn't deserve that title uh mr alan hammond will
be joining us we
have a tiny little uh well they're not tiny but little model airplanes that
people have constructed
out of paper and we'll be looking at those later we all set paul yes sir is
there anything we
ought to discuss before we roll along uh maybe a certain imitation of a maybe
maybe
okay now don't push me or you'll never get to hear it and and there's a good
chance you won't
hear it anyway my surprise well you see i don't really i don't really do uh
much of anything as
it turns out but especially i don't i don't do impressions very well so uh
although i do do jimmy
store i'll do a little jimmy store this is harvey but i can't look at you i can't
look at you this
uh no no harvey here would like another beer
so you do that was jimmy store saying harvey here would like another beer yeah
not too bad impersonations that was it that's it what do you use did you have a
nice weekend yeah i
was indoors most of the weekend that's why i want to show up with a little bit
of a tent yeah what did
you do over the weekend well you know we played softball i know you had a
couple of games big
games friday night we played uh the governor's office speaking of albany we
played the governor's
office nice people very nice people we uh played the governor's office yeah the
governor's office
the score was tied 10 to 10 and it got dark and we had to go home uh mario cuomo
was not there
as a matter of fact in fact listen to this lineup of the people we've played
softball over the summer
we played entertainment tonight mary hart no show up uh she was off annoying
people with her perky attitude
the we then we then played good morning america david hartman was he there no
he wasn't there
we played the rolling stone magazine the editor publisher jan winner was he
there no no
jan was concerned that he would miss a meal so he couldn't make the game it's a
joke it's only a joke
only a joke and then sunday by gosh we had our own little uh the nina bieber
tournament up there
in a private field excuse me nina bieber the tournament is named for nina bieber
a member of
our staff how come well i'll show you nina bieber is uh a gazelle on the field
now i'm going to do a
little demonstration for you this would be nina at third base fielding a pretty
well hit shot and it
goes just between the fielder and the bag this is nina hal this is our director
hal gertner how what
i'm going to need from you is like yeah that's gurney i'm sorry what i'm going
to need from you hal
is is like the sound of a bat hitting a ball kind of a whack and then i'll be nina
bieber making the
play but you don't make the play at all bernie howard
sound effects no you do it how you do it just just say whack real loud i'm nina
bieber at third base here
we go it's coming between myself in the bag and whacking
hal do me a favor is pete in there let pete make the sound here here's pete
okay pete do it right okay i'm nina making the one
one more one more one more pete okay here's how nina made the play
pretty exciting nonetheless
thank you very much uh one night we're gonna do our whole cats thing we'll do
it in makeup you know
uh candy who are our makeup designer here designed the makeup for cats we're
all very proud and well
and we we sure we're proud of it and we'll walk them out and we'll do uh that
song what how does that
song go midnight and the kitties
we we have such a big show and i will do an impression for you and as you know
i do two
impressions you know the other impression i do paul uh you do the guy from cats
no no i do a jimmy stewart oh yeah around for that no no no bartender harvey
would like a beer
this is my dwight gooden this unbelievable athlete he's he's 23 and 4
pitcher for the new york mets here's my impression of dwight gooden
hey catfish that's illegal
thank you very much thank you thank you very much welcome to the uh program
folks we got a
boy we got a great show here tonight but before we get to the show let me just
say a word about
this uh mets baseball deal now did you see that this ball game last night
unbelievable
yeah 11 innings and the mets win in the uh the top of the 11th daryl strawberry
home run beat the
cardinals one another whenever you see something like this if you live in the
tri-state area new
york new jersey connecticut you have to really you have to really be thankful
that we live in a
town where they're playing such great major league baseball which brings me to
my next topic for
obvious reasons cleveland has canceled fan appreciation day but um i'll do it
for you once again because
last night it seemed like it was such a a big deal i'm going to do my
impression of uh dwight gooden
who's who's pitching tonight dwight gooden hey catfish that's illegal
uh this is an ad oh there i said it again uh union square books did you throw
sixteen thousand dollars
into your garbage can this morning yes now for the love of god please release
my wife
have you seen the the colby's paul the new show with charlton heston and uh i've
got a little behind
i i fell behind that's that's the way that's all you see on that show please
for the love of god
paul do you want to see my uh barbara stanwick uh impression from the colby's
yeah that's what i
want to see yeah all right here it is barbara stanwick on the colby's barbara
stanwick
have you seen the colby's do you know what this is do you like this show yeah
well then you'll love
the impression here it is barbara stanwick barbara stanwick on the colby's i
forgot that uh
what how did it go i did it last night now it'll come back to me i'll get i'll
come don't worry it'll
come back to me uh you know by the way in in the chinese language there is no
there is no word for fun fur all right now let's see if i get oh here it is
okay here it is god help us
okay how about a little barbara stanwick on the colby's yeah let's hear it a
little
just a little bit barbara stanwick on the colby's for the love of god
this comes to us by way of the oshkosh daily northwestern oshkos which oshkosh
wisconsin
a small item i don't know if you can uh pretty grizzly calf head founded
mailbox raymond zellhofer
told deputies he has no idea who put the head in the mailbox or why it was put
there he did say
that it may have been put in his mailbox because the box is a large one
apparently the neighbors were just fed up with this constant bragging about the
mailbox
oh yeah you can put old calf head in this one
it's the biggest one in town i uh i ain't seen him no bigger
it's a little character i do it's the uh it's the dumb guy i've never seen that
guy before yeah it's
the dumb guy to see him i'd like to see more of him
ah ladies and gentlemen once again thank you from the bottom of my heart for
allowing us into your homes
this evening paul i'll tell you what let's start the show tonight a little
differently let's do
something for my old one-man show okay all right a little music from the yeah i'll
tell you what i'm
going to do one of my fabulous characters for you this is this is wilbur the
mean old man do we have
some special lighting cheryl do you have yeah thank you wilbur the mean old man
paul here we go
i hope certainly hope you enjoy this one of the few characters i do it's uh i
travel all across the
country with the show in the late uh whenever i did the wilbur it's wilbur the
mean old man ladies
we're really gonna kick the show off properly tonight my musical conductor
ladies and gentlemen mr paul schaefer
okay here it is wilbur the mean old man paul cheryl how are we doing on that
lighting by
the way okay here we go paul this is wilbur the mean old man oh here there's
the lighting thank
you it startled me now that's perfect charl let's try it again here we go wilbur
the mean old man here we go
you kids get out of my yard
thank you david that was that was sort of that was touching we'll be uh we'll
be at one of the
schubert theaters here in new york it's about 35 dollars a ticket so come on
bye
huh thank you you know i'm young you're young you're personable and i've got to
get out of the
business no no no no no no what's up dave i'll do a quick impression for you i
was going to do this
last time okay this is now if anybody is keeping score at home this is the uh
second impression i
do the first one is jimmy stewart which you don't need to see but you've seen
it this the second one
is uh every sunday morning i get up and i go buy a paper at this little market
near my home and there's
always like seven or eight people ahead of me in the checkout line this now is
an impression of the
woman who operates the machine there at the checkout every sunday morning i
hear this get ready excuse me
and it goes something like this mess up your hair a little bit the lotto
machine is broken
you know paul my roots are in the live theater well you have so many wonderful
characters too that's
what's what i love oh yeah i have the other one it's the mean old man what's
that we have time for that
let's see a little of the mean this gentleman here he is here he is the mean
old man
you kids get out of my yard thank you thank you very much thank you thank you
you have the most you have the most wholesome impressions i've ever seen they're
country guys
with straws coming out of their ears very good what you specialize uh let's get
to the uh top 10 list
unless you have anything else to add to this well i thought i'd do an
impression of the junkie over in
the corner of 49th a junkie paul you want to do the impression of a junkie no i
don't really do it
you know what i'd like i went to see that uh heartburn deal the other night
last night with
meryl streep and jack nicholson yeah i think i ought to i'd like to do a movie
with meryl streep
sure i'd show her a thing or two about acting yeah
i could be the mean old man hey meryl get out of my yard
by the way the lot you know the gal who says the lotto machine is busted do
what the gal who says
the lotto machine is busted i'll do that i'll sneak it in here and surprise you
with it i met her