Name: Supermarket Finds on Letterman, June 28, 1989
Uploaded: 2019-09-25T03:24:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Supermarket Finds on Letterman, June 28, 1989' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-09-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Supermarket Finds on Letterman, June 28, 1989' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-09-25. Transcript available.

I'll tell you something Dave I'm just kicking myself why is that about six
months ago a guy
called me from Hollywood and he says we we'd like to give you five percent of
the merchandising of
Batman I don't have time for that stuff wait wait just a minute out of the blue
out of the blue a
guy calls up and says how would you like to have five percent I said I can't
really keep track of
it I think I better pass now I'm just kicking myself but that's just Paul that's
like a miracle
because did you have anything to do with the film no sir no so this would have
been free money right
it would have been yeah out of the blue a guy called me and you turn him down I
turn him down
I just at the time I was so busy you know and I had a jingled session in the
morning oh Paul
I couldn't Paul Paul there's a there's a word for guys like you what is that
bonehead ah I know I'm
sick about it what are we doing oh do we have the thing where's the device we
got a great show we
got to get rolling here let's just do this real quick and then we'll see if it
works
all right boys start the music it's the crash cam
all right so
all right so
all right so
oh
well I'll be careful you could break something
uh oh tonight is uh supermarket fines is that right excuse me I'm having market
funds trouble with my hearing I've got to stick with acoustic guitar from now
on look we have we have a
a castle of supermarket fines here oh and you know something I have a very
special treat for
everyone tonight let me move over to this microphone and continue a good friend
of ours has dropped
by to sing the haunting and beautiful love theme from supermarket fines this
man is is going to be
performing uh at the meadowlands tomorrow night let's have a big supermarket
fines welcome for mr jerry vail jerry
Dave has some groceries. He likes to call them supermarket finds. He found one
day while he was shopping.
We love them so.
Dave has some things that he calls Gibi Bufi, that he found one day, he likes
us.
We love them so.
We love them so.
The haunting and beautiful love theme from supermarket finds.
The haunting and beautiful love theme from supermarket finds.
It was, wasn't it?
It certainly was.
All right, now pay attention.
Yes, I'm sorry.
Oh, I was excited.
I know you were excited, but...
Where do you see this?
You think you're excited now.
Here we have a bag of Kraft jet-puffed marshmallows.
These are actual items found in actual supermarkets.
They're down there.
Can you see that little slogan there?
It says, the official marshmallow of the Starship Enterprise.
I thought that was William Shatner.
Okay, here we have, this is SNW sauerkraut juice.
That's right.
Perfect for those hot summer days when you've been, been out of the yard
working up a big German thirst.
A big German thirst.
A big German thirst.
Item number three.
Heinz distilled white vinegar.
The little sign there on the label.
Not made from petroleum.
Thank God.
So if a Heinz vinegar tanker hits a reef, we don't have to worry.
What number, Paul?
Are you keeping track?
Yeah, number six.
I'm looking for number four.
Number four.
All right.
Here it is, number four, right here.
Milk carton, a warning.
Unauthorized use of milk cases is against the law and punishable by fine or
imprisonment.
And there's a milk case right there.
There's a milk case right there.
Am I taking some kind of prescription drug that's just thrown me completely off
tonight?
No, no.
We're all a little...
Everything's okay?
We're a little excited.
Everything's fine.
Okay.
All right.
Now which one?
Number five.
All right.
Getting testy in the control room.
Here we have a container of the original Never Dull.
I'll tell you what, Morty, maybe somebody should take this backstage and rub it
all over George Miller.
Okay, here we have a container of Eat Me Dates.
Eat Me Dates.
The official sponsor of the Rob Lowe video, Eat Me Dates.
Eat Me Dates.
That's what I call a supermarket fun.
Yeah, yeah.
I remember my first Eat Me Date.
Man.
Gosh, I enjoyed it.
That's right.
Eat Me Dates.
Ask for them by name.
You can't go wrong.
Ah, my very first Eat Me Date.
Whee!
Well, miniature golf.
Had Dad's car.
And then...
All right.
There.
Jean-Guy anchovy paste.
Oh, let me open it up.
Here's what you can do with this.
It's the Jean-Guy anchovy paste.
Open this up.
Put it by the bathroom sink near the toothbrushes.
And then watch the fun begin.
Paul, do you have anything here for the anchovy paste?
Yeah, I got something.
Okay.
Anchovy paste spread on Eat Me Dates.
The flavor of fish in every dish.
Comes in a tube.
What a real groove.
Look out now.
Enough salt to stop your heart.
There ain't nothing in the world like a big-eyed girl.
Okay.
Okay.
How are we doing on time?
We're right on time.
We're right on time.
After all of that, once again, we're right on time.
By the way, did I get a chance to show you these?
The Eat Me Dates?
Eat Me Dates right there.
On the program tonight, George Miller is here.
Pete Townsend is here.
And Tim Hutton.
I don't think you can get a better show tonight.
We'll be right back.
I don't think you can get a better show tonight.
We'll be right back.
I don't think you can get a better show tonight.
I don't think you can get a better show tonight.
I don't think you can get a better show tonight.
I don't think you can get a better show tonight.
I don't think you can get a better show tonight.
I don't think you can get a better show tonight.
I don't think you can get a better show tonight.
I don't think you can get a better show tonight.
I don't think you can get a better show tonight.
I don't think you can get a better show tonight.
I don't think you can get a better show tonight.
I don't think you can get a better show tonight.
I don't think you can get a better show tonight.
I don't think you can get a better show tonight.
Tomorrow, Andrea Martin will be here, Jackson Brown will be on the program, and
Phil Corrington
from the Chicago Field Museum of Natural History.
Great.
So tonight, Pete Townsend, tomorrow, Jackson Brown.
That's right.
It doesn't get any better than this, does it?
No, sir.
And then George Miller a little bit later.
And I'm thinking right after the show, Paul, I maybe will have an eat-me-date.
The more I think about it, I think that would really hit the spot.
I think so, too.
Get me one of those eat-me-dates.
I can continue saying this, right, Morty?
I can say eat-me-date all night long, can't I?
Huh?
As much as you're comfortable saying it.
Because it's an actual product, isn't it?
The eat-me-date.
Bring me, Al, bring me the eat-me-dates.
Al Marr, calling me chief.
Suddenly, I'm Perry White.
We'll just show you that I can continue to say eat-me-dates all night long.
Thank you very much, Al.
I'll take the rest of the night off.
Look, after the show, I'll be having an eat-me-date.
And perhaps I'll enjoy some fruit.
But, you know, seriously, ladies and gentlemen.
From the home office in Oklahoma City, tonight's top ten category...
That was sort of like we're tired of an applause.
Top ten New York City haircuts.
Ah.
I guess I should go through the streets of New York.
I don't care anymore.
I'm just looking forward to my after-show eat-me-date.
That's all I care about now.
I don't blame you.
Top ten New York City haircuts.
Yeah, that'll be great.
Well, no, do your little thing.
Well, I suppose that as one wanders through the streets of New York,
uptown, downtown, east side, west side,
you come across a number of different crazy kind of coifs.
Some you like, some you don't like.
These, I suppose, would be the top ten nutty haircuts that you see in New York.
Nice job, Ed. Thank you very much.
Ho, ho.
Ho, ho, ho.
Ho, ho.
Oh, my God.
Santa.
Santa is here.
Here we have the top ten New York City haircuts.
Number ten, Old Faithful.
Number nine, Electrocuted Squirrel.
Number eight, Tribute to Paul Simon.
Number seven, number seven, number seven, the Eclipse.
Number six, number six, the Whoopie.
Number five, Nearly Paid For.
Number four, number four, Guggenhair.
Number three, the Lint Trap.
Thank you.
Number two, We Remember Lucy.
Number one, the number one New York City haircut.
My folks are so proud.
Number four, we'll be right back, folks, with Pete Townsend.
Come on back.
Number four, we'll be right back with Pete Townsend.
Number four, we'll be right back with Pete Townsend.