Name: Lucky Numbers Collection on Letterman, 1985, 1991
Uploaded: 2019-10-11T22:53:33.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Lucky Numbers Collection on Letterman, 1985, 1991' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-10-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Lucky Numbers Collection on Letterman, 1985, 1991' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-10-11. Transcript available.

Lucky Numbers Collection on Letterman, 1985, 1991

It's New York Lottery's Numbers and Win 4 Drawings, observed by an auditor from
Cooper's and Library.
Good evening, it's Friday, May 21st, 1993, I'm Yolanda Vega.
Now here's tonight's number, the first fallout is 0, the next is 5, and the
last is 3, making tonight's number 0, 5, 3.
Here's Stephanie Moore with Win 4.
Thank you, now for tonight's Win 4, number the first fallout is 8, the next is
2, the next is 3.
Next, it's 5, and the last is 1, making tonight's Win 4, number 8, 2, 5, 1.
Thank you and good night.
Thank you folks, welcome to the program, and you've done something really
important for me, you've made me feel much better about mankind.
I'm a little depressed.
You know, I think that nowadays people are just way too eager to sue.
Do you agree with this?
Yes!
I'll give you an example.
This morning in the paper, there's an English professor at Brandeis University
who has filed a sexual harassment suit against himself.
So, sorry, of course, it may be true, but that's a whole different story.
Well, we're on a little later tonight, aren't we?
Yeah.
Yeah, we're not on now.
We'll be on in a half an hour, so.
No, you know why?
It's the president, I believe, is it tonight?
The president's State of the Union address, and it's interesting.
They were talking to the White House officials, and they said, now, when
President Reagan gives one of these State of the Union speeches or any major
address, is security a problem?
And they said, no, the only real security happens afterward at the reception.
They have to make sure that the president does not get between the buffet table
and Tip O'Neill.
They said, that's the...
Oh, no!
But, you know, what do you think?
Go for another one or just get out while we're...
Paul, what do you think?
Go for another one, babe.
Don't call me babe.
Go for another one, Mr. Letterman.
No, no.
No.
Somewhere in between?
Yeah, I think somewhere between babe and Mr. Letterman.
Somewhere in between those two.
You know, as a symbol of determination to cut government spending, President
Reagan, tonight, I think this was a noble gesture, he used five makeup people
instead of the usual nine, so that was...
You know what?
I almost forgot.
It's time now to draw the lucky number.
Yeah!
Bring it in here.
We'll turn on the machine.
Thank you very much.
Five.
Three.
Five.
Tonight's lucky number is five, three, five.
Congratulations, and keep watching.
Our good friend, Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
Babe.
Thank you very much.
All of us, thank you.
All of us pickers, all of us pickers are very excited.
It's going to be a very exciting night.
Yeah.
It's going to be a very exciting night.
Today is Thursday, and I guess you know what that means.
It means it's time for us to, excuse me, one minute.
You know, I forgot something.
I forgot all about drawing out the lucky number.
Let's do that right now.
Bring out the machine here.
Yeah, just put it out right over there, if you will, please.
Okay, good enough.
Let me go ahead and turn that on.
First number is a nine.
Second number is a four.
And the final number is two.
Tonight's lucky number, nine and four, two.
Congratulations.
Nine, four, two.
We don't know what it is, but it sure kills time.
Thank you.
You sounded great, Paul.
On the, uh, this little thing?
Yeah, I liked it.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen, and all of North America.
Welcome to the program.
You had a good weekend.
I can sense that.
And, uh, I had a good weekend.
Uh, it was very exciting.
I got another, uh, piece, uh, another chess piece arrived for my Civil War
chess set, and, uh.
Now, this was staggering.
You know, you've been following the, uh, predicament of, uh, Chernyenko.
What's, what's his first name, Paul?
Uh, Will Lee knows his first name.
Sir, a Soviet leader, um.
It's Konstantin, is it?
That's right, Konstantin.
That's right.
Did you know that, Paul, or did they call that in?
Uh, I, I got the information over the grapevine here.
Okay.
Uh, you know, he's, nobody's seen him over there in, uh, Moscow, and so this
morning
on, uh, the Today program, they were, uh, they had, uh, seasoned Moscow
observers, and
they claim, the reason you haven't seen Chernyenko in public recently is
because of a really
bad haircut.
So, uh, tomorrow is, uh, Lincoln's birthday.
Now, this is interesting.
There's a, kind of an unusual observance, uh, of Lincoln's birthday taking
place in Madison
Square Garden.
Tomorrow night, a descendant of Abraham Lincoln will actually free two NBA
teams.
So, we're looking forward to that, uh, wait a minute.
Where did that come from?
Who did that?
Uh, let me hear that again.
Who did that?
Oh, it's Will again.
All right.
Uh, we have a wonderful program for you, and, in fact, we have such a great
program, I don't
have time to tell you about it now.
So, say hello to our friend, Mr. Paul Schaefer.
Paul.
Oh, thank you very much.
Thank you, David.
You know, I, uh, thank you.
I want to mention I had a marvelous weekend.
I was up in, uh, Canada, Toronto, Canada, participating in the making of the
Canadian record to aid in
the, uh, Ethiopian Relief Fund, and that was a big celebrity affair.
Who was up there?
All the Canadian celebrities got together to make this record.
Well, every, Joni Mitchell, Neil Young, you know.
Uh, Paul Anker called in sick.
We missed him.
Uh, but I mean.
Really called in sick?
Yeah, apparently.
He'd been involved in the beginning.
Corey Hart, Brian Adams, who wrote the song with David Foster.
Uh, all the Canadian, uh, you know, Ronnie Hawkins, who said, may he pay me a
little compliment?
He said, your band is hotter than the left cheek of a devil's.
And, uh, we have a queen.
But the funniest thing was coming into the room, and I see all these celebrity,
legends,
Canadian legends, Neil Young is there, you know, and a guy's looking at me, and
he says
to me, and, and he's looking at me like I know him.
And he looks straight at me, and he says, you know me as Andy Kim.
And this was really, you know, who he really was.
Now he calls himself, he's changed his name, Andy Kim.
Baron Longfellow.
So, uh, I managed to get his autograph, uh, afterwards.
Well, that was nice of you to do that.
We had a nice, well, it was, uh, you know.
You should be very happy with yourself for doing something, uh, decent like
that.
For a good cause.
Now did you, uh, what did you do this week?
Oh, nothing really.
No.
You know what?
Well, I forgot, too.
It's, uh, lucky number time.
Let's go to the lucky number here.
Almost completely forgot about the...
Let's turn on the machine, shall we?
First number is, uh, four.
Second number is a six.
And the third number is a two.
Our lucky number tonight, ladies and gentlemen, four, six, two.
Congratulations.
I had a doctor's appointment.
You did?
Yeah.
You know, have you ever noticed this?
A guy, uh, was just to check on a sore throat.
He's looking down my throat, and I'm very close to the man.
And I can see he's wearing eyeliner.
Oh.
Just, just like a little, just kind of highlight, just under...
Interesting.
Yeah.
You know who else had eyeliner?
Baron Longfellow.
Did he?
Yeah, I think he wears a little bit.
But we know him as Andy Kim.
We know him as Andy Kim.
We have a, uh, we have, I think, a really good show tonight.
Jane Badler will be here from the television show, uh, V.
I keep wanting to say Z, but it's V.
Uh, also, we're going to, uh, there was some trouble with the Al Frisch Millionaire
Weekend
in Paris giveaway we performed last, uh, Tuesday.
So we'll clear that all up.
And, uh, Richard Belzer is here, Dr. Richard Brand.
It should be a fun show.
Did you have a nice evening, Paul?
Yes, I did.
Tell me, Dave, let me ask you this.
What's happening with the, uh, the hot lunch program?
Oh.
Is there an update on that?
See, it's a long story.
And I'm, I'm a little sad about it.
Uh, a few weeks ago, the, the place we were getting our lunch decided they were
not coming
to our office anymore for reasons too lengthy to go into here.
So we, we opened up the hot lunch program and how that works.
Any restaurant in Manhattan who wanted to deliver us free hot lunch, uh, every
day, then I would
mention the name of the restaurant on the air.
And it was working out just great.
Let me show you the little, uh, hot lunch club chart we have made up here.
Uh, as you can see, uh, the first day we had a, uh, food from a place called
Beanstalk and, uh, it was vegetarian food.
Very nice.
Extras.
We got to keep the trays.
And so we gave them three, uh, three smiling faces there.
Um, and then the next day it was Lily Langtree's.
It was a Mexican restaurant.
They, uh, they actually sent up three attendants, three people to serve the
food.
So that was very nice.
Uh, today, uh, we came in and heard that we were getting, uh, a Japanese food
from a four-star Japanese restaurant, this Hatsuhana.
And, uh, the food was very good, but look, we had to give them only a half one
of these smiling things
because they, they, uh, gave the insulting, uh, proportion or the insulting
portion.
Uh, let me show you what they sent up here.
It was, it was just this.
And, uh, see, the deal is we need food for 30 people.
So, it was really good.
I mean, I'm, um, it was wonderful food, but, you know, it was for like two
people.
So, you know, you're either in the hot lunch program or you're not.
So, it's got to be for 30, for example, Connie Chung dropped by for lunch and
there was nothing for her.
So, you know, who's embarrassed?
You know, of course, it's the restaurant.
So, uh, but anyway, now it looks like we can't even continue because NBC says,
uh, it's illegal.
They were using terms like payola, federal prison.
So, so I think we may have seen the last of the hot lunch club.
There were some more tentative dates though.
Yeah, now here's what I wanted to say.
Monday, we were going to have a very big meal, a very big dinner sent up.
So, what we needed, uh, Monday afternoon was a light lunch.
And, uh, and then Friday we have an Italian lunch coming up.
But I think all of these have to go now because NBC says, stop it.
At least the Monday, though, one we should go through with the full dinner.
Yeah, but see, if they, if they send up the food now, we can't really say who
they were.
Who were they, though?
Well, we can't say.
Can't say who they were?
Well, you said who those people were.
Yeah, but that's because they've already sent the food up.
Oh, I see.
It was, it was Sammy's.
Oh, Sammy's.
And we are, we do still need kind of a light lunch for that day, so.
But that's it.
That's, we're all, we're all done.
Do we have time for the lucky number or not?
Sure.
All right, let's go to the lucky number, ladies and gentlemen.
Here it is.
Let's turn on the machine.
First number is a two.
Second number is a six.
And the third number is a four.
Ladies and gentlemen, tonight's lucky number is two, six, four.
Congratulations.
Congratulations.
It's getting stupider and stupider.
Well, I'm sorry to see that hot lunch program go.
That was sad, actually.
Yeah, it's sad.
We had, yeah, a four-star restaurant.
That was darn nice, but tiny little portion.
And so we have a wonderful program.
That's right.
I'll get to that in just a second.
Let me tell you who else is here.
Who else is here?
Oh, Tom Savini, a man who makes special effects for horror movies and does
peculiar makeup and so forth.
Model, one of the most successful models in the world.
She's on the cover of Sports Illustrated in your annual swimsuit issue.
Paulina Poratskova is here.
And, oh, oh, tell them who's with the band tonight, Paul.
That's what I forgot to mention.
Well, only the barometer of hip would be able to get a guy like this to come
down and play with us.
But we are extremely honored to have Mr. Paul Butterfield on harmonica.
Paul, nice to see you.
Thank you very much.
You know, a cat comes by to sit in and it's Paul Butterfield, you know, one of
the originators.
Now, if you're the barometer of hip, who is the anemometer of hip?
Ah, that one.
You want to do this?
