Name: Pee-wee Herman Complete Collection on Letterman, 1982-85 Recut
Uploaded: 2019-10-31T22:39:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Pee-wee Herman Complete Collection on Letterman, 1982-85 Recut' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-10-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Pee-wee Herman Complete Collection on Letterman, 1982-85 Recut' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-10-31. Transcript available.

Pee-wee Herman Complete Collection on Letterman, 1982-85 Recut

We have a keen, honestly, here is a, I'll give you a second to wake up the kids.
We have quite an interesting combination on the show tonight.
We have two gentlemen, both of whom, well, maybe you don't know so much about
one.
A comedian who is, you're not going to see anything like this gentleman
anywhere in the
world.
Pee Wee Herman is here tonight.
And, and if you don't know much about him, you're going to, and, and also a
gentleman
who you probably know a little bit more about, and I don't, I think this is the
first time
he has appeared with Pee Wee Herman, the commissioner of baseball, Bowie Kuhn,
is here tonight.
Welcome back to the show, ladies and gentlemen, and a fine, a fine program it
is tonight.
We have the commissioner of baseball, Bowie Kuhn, will be joining us later.
And also, oh, a rare behind the scenes glimpse, a profile of our audio man,
Howard Vinitsky,
sound effects man, Howard Vinitsky.
So, that'll be coming up soon.
My first guest tonight is the host of his own children's program, and he is
also, he also
has a large and enthusiastic adult following.
Please hang on to something.
Welcome, Pee Wee Herman.
You look great.
You look, you look terrific.
Thanks.
You brought, uh, are you, you're not nervous, are you?
Not a bit.
No.
You have your own show, and, uh.
So do you.
Yeah, that's right.
Now, you brought some toys along.
I know you have a lot of props that you use for the kids' show.
Yeah.
You, you know what, Mr. Letterman, I wanted to just tell a story first, if I
could.
Sure, sure.
That happened to me yesterday.
That you, this, this is a surprise on him.
He doesn't know I'm going to do this, but.
Okay, well, well, I came yesterday.
I came a day early.
As most of you probably don't know, I come from Los Angeles.
It's where I make my home.
And so, the summer just ended there, and I run a lemonade stand out in front of
my house
there, and that's how I kind of, you know, make my money when I'm not doing big
stuff
like this.
So, I, I, so, so I came out here a day early, and I came in, and I was hanging
out here.
I was in the writer's room.
Yesterday, and, and, we, we met a couple of years ago, remember, when we met?
And, and so, he came in, this guy, Mr. Letterman, came in yesterday, and, and I
was sitting
there, and he goes, hi, PeeBee, how you doing?
I said, fine, Mr. Letterman, how are you?
And he goes, good.
And then he goes, while you're in New York, why don't you do the show?
I, I couldn't believe it, because that's what I was here for.
I mean, what else would I have even been doing here?
He cracked me up yesterday, I didn't, I didn't even get to tell you, so I
thought I'd, you
know.
That's darn nice of you.
You like, you like New York City?
Yeah, I love it.
Yeah.
Crazy about it.
It's exciting, isn't it?
I'm going to try Quebec and be one of those Green Beret guys here.
No, those are the Guardian Angels.
It's actually a Red Beret.
Red Beret.
Yeah, yeah.
Those are, those are tough gentlemen.
You don't want to wise off to those fellas.
No.
Now, you have, you have some toys, huh?
Yeah.
You want to show us?
Yeah, I have a whole bunch of toys.
I have this pirate sword right here.
You know, laugh or you'll get it.
Okay.
I have this boomerang right here.
Watch this.
This I just got right here.
Look at this.
Nice.
Okay.
I have this right here.
This right here is a real cool toy.
I used to use this on my show.
It's a little guy.
He goes like this.
Okay, wait, wait.
This is not all.
Look.
Okay, you see this one right here?
Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, look.
Look right here.
Look.
Here's this little baby.
Look.
Look.
Now it's at once.
We, we have some film.
I understand you brought with us, Pee-wee.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Who told you all this stuff?
Well, it's right here on the notes.
See, I understand you got a film about lunchroom manners.
Yeah, yeah.
And I'm going to be able to get right inside the film.
You're actually going to appear in the film.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Now what, what do we need to do in, in, by way of setting this up?
Well, all I need to do is just get up and go be in it.
All right.
Are we all set for Pee-wee to get up and go be in it?
All right.
All right, Pee-wee.
Okay.
Pee-wee Herman, ladies and gentlemen.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
Hey, Pee-wee.
"Instead of having a sandwich today, Phil decided to take the hot lunch."
Mmm.
"Phil took some bread and butter, too.
And he knew what else he wanted.
Some milk."
"Some milk."
"Some milk.
The last part was on the trail."
"Maybe there was more milk."
"So he said, 'May I please have some milk?'"
"Phil remembered to say 'may I' and 'please.'
That was very polite."
"Yes, there was more milk."
"Ah!"
"Night of the living dead."
"Phil remembered to say 'thank you' when he took the carton of milk."
"Phil had good manners."
"He didn't want to be like Mr. Bungle in the lunchroom."
"Phil didn't want to forget his dessert."
"The cake looked delicious."
"At the end of the line, the lunchroom supervisor said she had noticed how
polite Phil was,
and she smiled at him."
"She wouldn't smile at Mr. Bungle."
"Phil went to the table where his friends were."
"Thank you very much.
"Thank you very much."
"Thank you very much."
"You know, the thing that I liked about that, it was entertaining as well as
informational."
"Well thanks, it was a lot of fun for me to do, too."
"Yeah, yeah.
"And you have some more toys that we're going to take a look at now, Peewee?"
"I have a whole bunch of toys right here."
"I have a whole bunch of toys right here."
"Hang grenade off!"
"Okay, I have..."
"Oh, that's nice."
"Yeah?"
"David Leonard, David Leonard, David Leonard, please pick up the white candidacy
telephone."
"Wanna try it or anything?"
"No, that's all right.
We have to pause now.
We'll get to Peewee some Darvon.
We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen, I'm with Peewee Herman."
"Oh, hi there, and welcome back to the show.
Peewee Herman is here, and later the commissioner of baseball, Bowie Kuhn, will
be joining us.
"Now, we didn't plan any of this, but you danced.
"I remember you as being a very good dancer.
"Is there any way, without throwing everybody here, that you can show us a
little of that?"
"Well, I'll pull my leg a little."
"Can I?
"Oh, sure, sure, I can do it.
"I think this is what you're referring to.
"It requires a lot of concentration, so if you just be quiet for just a minute."
"Thank you.
"Thank you very much."
"You are a, uh..."
"I have another one, too, I've been working on.
"This is my Devil Dance.
"It's sort of called like a...
"Nyaa, nyaa, nyaa, nyaa, nyaa, nyaa, nyaa.
"Well, that's a new one, and it's kind of a combination of the donkey and the
devil.
"I think I'm going to call it the Devil Donkey Dance, but I'm not sure."
Um, now, in addition to, uh, showing us all these wonderful toys, you have some
thoughts
as to how you can have fun without toys?
"Yes, I do.
"I'm glad you asked me that.
"I, I, I have some stuff that, that, that you can kind of do right around the
house if
"you don't have toys of your, of your own, like, like this.
"You can play disguise, you know, you can just, you know, do stuff like this.
"Where's Pee-wee?"
"You know, uh, uh, uh, okay, don't laugh.
"Okay, and, and, and, and, and then there's this, if, if your mom or dad's fat,
and she, and she, and it...
"Okay, shut up! Okay, uh, uh, if you have some big underpants laying around the
house,
"you know, you'd be surprised how much you could do with this.
"I mean, you could, you could fill up a whole hour just playing with big underpants,
you know?
"Like, like, like, look, you could, you could do kind of...
"See, see, see, you could, like, you could do this kind of thing, where, where
you could make,
"you know, you could make kind of a vest or an arrow kind of work, like this.
"Or you could, like, pull them all the way down like this, and, like, you know...
"You, you know, you, you, you, you could make a, you could make a turban out of
it.
"There's so many uses for them, you know, besides wearing them."
"I can see where the hour would just fly by with those."
"And, and also, this, this, this is something that I figured everybody could do
this.
"I kind of like to think up stuff to, to make people go about, you know, go
crazy, you know?
"Kind of obnoxious kind of stuff to do around the house.
"Like, if you have a younger brother or a younger sister, you want to make them
go crazy.
"So, I have this, this can, you know? It's just a nut can.
"Any kind of can will do it. It's just got some nuts inside of it.
"And put the top back on it like this.
"Okay, now, this is to make somebody go crazy, okay?
"So, and it works every time.
"What you do is, is you, see how it makes this noise right here?
"Yeah."
"Okay, well, suppose that I wanted to make you go crazy, okay?
"You're the one, since you're right here.
"Okay, so, we'll use your name just because you're here, okay?
"So, so, David Letterman's his name, so that's what we'll use it.
"You'd substitute your brother or sister or mom or dad for this, okay?
"So, you go like this.
"David Letterman, David Letterman, David Letterman, David Letterman, David
Letterman, David Letterman, David Letterman. "
Now, you're going to sing, in addition to all of these other things, you're
going to sing for us tonight.
You know why I'm going to sing?
No, why is that?
Because I've always wanted to be on a show like this and just be calmly sitting
here and have you or someone else go,
"You know, I know you have a song for us."
Okay, you know, I know you have a song prepared for us.
I sure do.
So, Pee-wee, if you want to go on over there, I'll introduce it for you.
Okay.
For everyone.
Ladies and gentlemen, Pee-wee Herman.
In 1814, we took a little trip down the Mississippi, down the mighty
Mississippi.
We took a little bacon and we took a little pizza and we fought the bloody
British at the town of New Orleans.
Well, we fired our guns and they began running.
There wasn't as many as there was a while ago.
We fired once more and they began running.
Duh!
Very nice.
Very nice.
We have to pause for commercial.
We'll be right back.
Pee-wee Herman, ladies and gentlemen.
All you have to do is just put it on your hand.
Just put your hand out like, you know, kind of like that.
That's all.
That's all.
That's all.
That's all.
Pee-wee Herman, ladies and gentlemen.
Okay, now.
So, all you have to do is just put it on your hand.
Just put your hand out like, you know, kind of like that and just stick your
hand in it.
This is moist in here.
No.
Why would this be moist?
I don't know.
I don't know either.
I don't think I want to be in there.
No.
Look, look.
I brought this.
This is a toy shaver.
Uh-huh.
Just look, look.
Yeah.
It doesn't really do anything though, you know.
I'm shaving just like daddy.
La la la.
Now, I know that in addition to your kid show that there is talk now, or I
guess there is
gonna be a Pee-wee Herman movie.
Well, there might be a Pee-wee Herman movie.
We just spent, me and the guy who designed the set for the Pee-wee movie, we
wrote this
script.
It took us about seven months and we sat in this room and we went, okay, what
do you do
now?
What's the next thing?
Okay, what happens next?
And we wrote it every day and it came out really great.
It's an epic adventure story.
It's called Pee-wee's Big Adventure.
It's sort of like the Wizard of Oz kind of thing.
And it's really swell.
We turned it in to the movie studio Paramount Pictures and we turned it in and
they went,
well, wha