Name: Christmas Tree Collection on Letterman, 1982-92
Uploaded: 2019-11-12T06:18:17.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Christmas Tree Collection on Letterman, 1982-92' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-11-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Christmas Tree Collection on Letterman, 1982-92' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-11-12. Transcript available.

Christmas Tree Collection on Letterman, 1982-92

Not everyone survives in this urban battlefield we call New York City, this
combination cityscape
and war zone. The crowded landscape has claimed another gentle victim. Yes, say
goodbye to
the once plentiful majestic pine tree. I'm here at 52nd and Park, once a thickly
wooded
forest right here in Manhattan. Now, everywhere are the dead trees, cut down in
their prime,
victim of some mysterious blight. Was it pollution? Maybe overcrowding? Perhaps
forced out by
too many delicatessens? No one seems to know what's killing our trees. There
are no simple
answers, only simple questions and simple people like myself to ask them. It's
truly the shame
of the city. Can we take these home for firewood? Can we just bust them up a
little bit?
I hope you had a good weekend. Tonight is the night they light the annual Jumbo
Tree down
there on Rockefeller Plaza, and we are going to cover it. In fact, Hal, can we
go down there
and see how close we are now to actually lighting the big tree? This is a major
event here in
New York City. Here it is. Okay, let's take a look down there now. Who was then
building
Rockefeller Center. Once the arts... Okay, how, how, uh... How, how close are
they to lighting
the big tree? This looks like a couple of minutes. A couple of minutes. Okay,
so when
they get ready to turn the power on, we'll, we'll be here to cover it. Also,
tonight, uh, it's
duplicate key night, ladies and gentlemen. Anybody in the audience who has a
key and you would
like it copied, a car key, house key. See, we have key holders here tonight. Uh,
we're
going to make copies of those keys for you. And in addition to that, we have
Sandra Bernhardt,
a fine young actor, Dennis Quaid, and, uh, two young gentlemen who are, uh,
inventors. And
you'll meet them a little bit later. We're going to take a look at our record
collection.
Now's the time to take a look at our musical director, Mr. Paul Schaefer. Hi,
Paul.
Did you have a nice weekend? David. Thank you so much. You kids are too much.
Well, David,
it's Tree Lighting Day. Tree Lighting Day. I want to tell you, I have
experienced nine years
of, uh, Tree Lighting Days, uh, being in this building that, that long. This
will be
my third. Your third. Yeah. Did you have a good weekend? Uh, yes. What else are
we doing?
Oh, how, how are we doing on the, uh, Tree Lighting Ceremony downstairs? Looks
pretty
good now, Dave. All right. Should we, are they close to lighting the tree? Yeah,
I think they're
in the ceremonies already. Okay. Before we go down there, let me tell you about
this. This
is the 50th Annual Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree Lighting. Uh, we have a 49-year-old
three-ton Norwegian spruce. Uh, it's 75 feet tall with a branch spread of 35
feet. How big
was the branch spread last year, Paul? That was year number eight for me, Dave,
actually.
And in my eighth year here, the branch spread was really too much. All right.
Now, this tree
comes to us from Valley Cottage, uh, in, uh, New York. Uh, and this is the
third Rockland Evergreen
from Valley Cottage's Old Mill Road to become Rockefeller Center's official
Christmas tree.
It took them two weeks to trim. It's, uh, there's a three-foot star on the top,
lights, lights,
and more lights, it says here. All right, Hal, if they're ready, let's go down
to the plaza
side of the building for the, uh, lighting ceremony. Let's join our young
friends from the New York
City Schools to light the 50th Rockville Center Christmas tree. Ready? One, two,
three.
I don't know. I've, I've seen it three or four times and yet it, it still, it
still does something to me.
Uh, what else are we doing tonight? Oh, Dennis Quaid is going to be here. Sander
Bernhardt
is here and also two, uh, really interesting young men who are very successful
inventors.
But ladies and gentlemen, before all of that, by golly, it's with a great deal
of pride that I now
officially announce it's key night. Oh, walk this way.
This is actually a show. No, this is, this is actually a brand, a brand new
show. Yes.
With, uh, Bill Wendell, Paul Schaefer, and yours truly, Mr. Rock'n'Roy.
Thanks to you, Mr. Rock'n'Roy.
Thank you.
They, they probably think that I'm Dick Clark. They've probably got us confused
or something.
Now, now the other thing that I wanted to, uh, last week sometime I mentioned
that the traffic here
in the city is unbearable. It's, it takes me two hours to get to work every day
and, and I'm just
walking a couple of blocks. Um, what do you know, you know why it's this
crowded? Every year about this
time, people from all over the country come to Manhattan to take a look at the
Christmas tree that
they put up here at, uh, Rockefeller Center out there on, uh, right near the
ice rink. Um, do me a favor,
whatever. Just find something else to do this year.
I have some things for you to do.
Instead of coming here to New York and clogging the streets, you could go to
Seattle.
They have a Christmas ship annually. It's a different ship. They decorate it.
It's filled
with carolers, and it travels for two weeks, stopping and singing at various
ports. You could
go do that. Chicago, they have a Christmas tree that they light at Richmond, uh,
I'm sorry,
uh, Richard J. Daily Center. It's lit, and then they light the lights on
Michigan Avenue.
Now, that would be a wonderful thing to do. In New Orleans, Popeye's chicken
owner, Al Copeland,
lights the decorations around his house on the lakefront. He has things like 25
foot angels.
So, there. Go. You can go to New Orleans and see that. You don't have to come
and clog the streets
here in Manhattan. Now, in all honesty, the tree itself is not that spectacular.
So...
This will be the 52nd year, by the way, that they're putting it up. So, you can
come next
year or in a couple of years, and you're not gonna...
This year, we have a 75 foot tall Norway spruce from a field in Far Hills, New
Jersey. It weighs
two tons. It's the 11th tree selected from the Garden State, and they're, they're
gonna put
it up. And, and I know a lot of you folks are saying, well, gee, we really, we
wanted to
see it, and, and the kids, we pulled them out of school, and we're gonna drive
across
the country. All right, I'll show you now the tree. They're getting, we have a
camera
outside, by the skating rink. They're getting ready to pull it up. It's 75 feet.
It's about,
what did I say, two tons. Very impressive tree. And in a few minutes, they're
going to erect
the tree. And so, once you've seen it here, that's it. You don't, you don't
need to come
and see it in person. So, some activity out there now, Dave. Okay, Hal. So,
just any minute
now, they will be erecting the annual Christmas tree, and, and this would be
just as good as
seeing it in person. There it comes.
I hope you enjoyed that.
What are we doing now?
Yeah. You know, again, this morning, it took me two hours to get to work. The
streets here in
Manhattan are jammed. The reason is, people from all over the country are
driving in here
to see the 72-foot Christmas tree that they put up outside our building. Don't
come to the
city. Now, just stay where you are. I'm going to show you what the tree looks
like now. It's
a two-ton Norwegian spruce. They cut it down on a farm. There it is, outside.
Take a look
at the tree. This is all you need to see. Don't get in the car. Don't come to
men. Oh, my God,
what is this? Good Lord, run for your lives, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
Well, it could have been worse. Okay, we'll be right back. Dom DeLuise is here.
Thank you. Thank you very much, folks. Welcome to the program tonight. Before
we actually
begin the program, let me just tell you, we have a full night now. For those of
you not
in New York City, tonight is the night that they light the 80-foot tree out
here in Rockefeller
Plaza. In fact, we have a camera down there now. I'll show them what we're
going to see
a little bit later. This is, we're minutes away from lighting. It's an annual
tradition
here in New York City. There, as you can see it, it's way in the distance, and
in a few
moments, that will be lighted up, and we'll be happy to show it to you. Now,
that's one
thing we're doing, and then, of course, we have other things. We'll be doing
those as
well. Did you have a nice weekend? I'm often touched. I had a lovely weekend. I
worked a little
bit on my special idea. You know, I'm working on that big special, TV special.
Can't quite
sell it yet. Yeah. Viva Shaif Vegas. Oh, it sounds good. I'll look forward to
that.
I'm going to be doing it in Vegas. It's sort of an odyssey, you know, a
struggle between
good and evil, me and Las Vegas. Yeah. It may end with me, actually, on stage
in the Sands
Hotel, stopping my show and bringing out a rabbi and a thing and getting
married right on stage.
Well, that's great. We'll look for that. Well, thanks. He's working on it. Is
it time to light
the tree yet, Hal? Yeah, there seems to be some activity out there. Okay, there's
some activity
out there. Let's go down live to Rockefeller Plaza for the 58th, 59th lighting
of the annual
Christmas tree here in New York City, and it's something to behold. Here we go.
There
it is. Here are young friends from the New York City schools to light the 50th
Rockefeller
Center Christmas tree. Ready? One, two, three.
Oh, yeah. That's so beautiful. Thanks. That's nice. So, what about you? Is
there some controversy,
by the way, about a Christmas tree? No. Nothing about a Christmas tree in an
office or anything?
No problem. Nothing about that? I'll tell you about the tree. We have this tree
up there,
and a lovely tree, see? Yeah. Earlier today, thugs show up. Thugs, brandishing
identification.
They burst into our office. They burst into the office, terrorizing everyone.
Now, they're
from the people who own the building, and they say the tree has got to go.
Really? Yep.
And you know what else? What really upsets me? Somebody on the 14th floor snitched
on us.
We were turned in for having a tree in our office.
One of the steps? No, no, no, no. A shame.
Somebody down in... I know who it was. It was those weasels at the Weekend
Nightly News office.
Oh, they said they got a tree, and we don't have a tree. That's right. And so
now, we have
to haul the tree out to Queens or someplace to have it fireproofed at $200 or $300.
We can do that.
But we can't have a tree. It's those... Yeah, those snitches at the Weekend
Nightly News.
It's those Connie Chung people that we have so much...
They come right in. They say, "You can't have this tree." Sports has a tree.
Sports, there.
You want to check up on sports? They have a beautiful tree down on the 5th
floor. Go see sports.
Beautiful tree. Turn those folks in and see what happens.
Well, there's this fireproof.
Hey, listen. I'm not done, either. Cable television is dead.
Yeah!
There's only one show I'll watch on cable, and I'm paying $80 a month for cable.
Only one show I'll watch. It's that wrestling talk show.
They can just come out and unplug it over the weekend. I'm done with cable.
Forget it. I don't need it anymore.
Oh, they're losing huge money. Big sums of money. Oh. Cable TV is dead. You
heard it here first.
I feel a little better, thank you.
You are testy tonight, aren't you?
I know. But it was this tree episode upset me.
Well, I don't...
Thugs showed up at our door and said, "The tree has got to go, kids."
I know. Are we gonna have a...
And it's because we were weaseled on by snitches on the same floor.
Connie Chung came over.
Now, I don't know that it was Connie Chung. I think it was just the people that
work in that office.
Came down.
Came right over and said, "Oh, they made a call. They made a call." You know,
they...
Let me speak to Connie, see what I can do.
Connie just got married, so she probably don't care.
That's right.
Yeah.
You know, David, you know, I know we're trying to lay off Sammy. Everybody's
kidding Sammy Davis.
I wasn't gonna do it anymore, but he said something last night about Lucille
Ball on that TV special.
If I may, without his