Name: Tom ("Biff") Wilson Collection on Letterman, 1990
Uploaded: 2019-11-12T19:14:29.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tom ("Biff") Wilson Collection on Letterman, 1990' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-11-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tom ("Biff") Wilson Collection on Letterman, 1990' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-11-12. Transcript available.

THE END
Now, did Connie look great?
Would you have ever guessed that that woman was 70 years old?
Flight attendants always keep themselves in good shape.
Really?
I've noticed that.
But very, don't you think, very photogenic.
And as you mentioned, she had been to a modeling school.
Speaking of models, look at this.
I have the new issue.
This is the, what issue is this, Rose?
Oh, the new March 1990 issue of Woman Magazine.
You know, they have several women.
They have New Woman.
They have New York Woman.
They have Big Woman.
Big Scary Woman.
But this is just woman, right, Rose?
Just woman.
And there's an article in here on page 74.
And it's all about assistance to people.
And look, look who they've profiled right here in this issue.
It's our very own Rose right there.
My personal assistant for the last 35 years, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah.
Looks great in there.
And what's her name again?
Rose.
Now, is there a, is the article all right?
Did it turn out okay?
Pretty good?
Positive?
Solid gold?
Money in the bank?
So it's a pack of lies then, huh?
Good for you.
Well, congratulations, Rose.
You're certainly the...
How long you been flying?
Thank you.
The DC-4, Paul.
You ever been on that plane?
I've flown a DC-4, yes.
You have not.
There is no such...
Is there such thing?
Well, yeah.
Connie had been on one.
I've never heard of it.
I've been on a DC-3.
I've been on a Viscount.
I don't know what that is.
That's a plane, like a prop, uh, twin engine thing.
Fascinating stuff.
Yeah.
I don't care.
I'm sorry.
That's all right.
No.
We're just here waiting for my hair to dry so we can start the show.
Anything you want to...
I know.
Our next guest is best known to many as Biff the Bully in the Back to the
Future films.
Ladies and gentlemen, here's Tom Wilson.
Tom, come on out.
So, now, uh, I saw Back to the Future, the first one.
Yeah.
So, now, you're the guy that pulls him out of the car and roughs him up or
something, Michael
D. Fox?
Right, exactly.
All those, uh, phrases that have come into the lexicon of American youth, you
know.
Okay.
What are you looking at?
Butthead.
Yeah.
Make like a tree and get out of here.
You know.
And so, and you also roughed up his father.
That was the deal.
He comes back to him and then...
Yeah.
Roughed up, uh, George McFly or Crispin Glover.
So, so now, oh, Crispin Glover.
Now, what's...
How was he?
Was he in the second film?
Crispin?
Crispin, uh, unfortunately, Dave couldn't make the second film.
Uh, he, uh, he wigged out or something.
I don't know what happened and, uh...
He came on the show one night and wanted to kick me in the head.
I know.
I'm strong.
I'm really strong.
I saw it.
Yeah.
But now...
I can kick.
Yeah, it was great.
I, um, I want to talk about it.
I like to come on in a really long wig, you know, with my eye collection.
But now, when he, uh, when you were working with him, was he odd like that or
not?
No, Crispin, Crispin's actually a very nice guy.
Nice enough guy?
You know, yeah.
He's just excitable.
He's an excitable youth.
And he just kind of gets all squirrely, you know?
Uh, now, the, the second movie, uh, your, your role is the same and what
happens in the second?
Well, the second movie, I, I play a lot of, uh, different roles.
I mean, you know, thanks to Crispin's absence, my part got really much bigger.
So, uh, so, uh, so I played Biff in a lot of different ages, you know, from 18
to, uh, 80 years old.
And I play Biff's, uh, grandson, Griff, who's a real psychotic and all kinds of
different wild things.
Now, it was this, were these your first two big films, first two films, period,
or?
No, Back to the Future 1 was my first film.
And I did, uh, a lot of films between Back to the Future 1 and Back to the
Future 2 that, that live on in cable television.
But, uh, and on DC 4.
And on DC 4, that's right, exactly.
Uh, now, what, was it exciting, was it frightening, intimidating, or, uh, a
really learning positive experience for you to work with all of a sudden there's
Steven Spielberg.
Oh, yeah.
And then you get Michael J. Fox.
Oh, uh, a magnificent experience.
But, you know, very nerve-wracking because all of a sudden now you have to be
good, you know?
Up until that, it's just kind of auditioning and not getting anywhere.
But, uh, yeah, it was, uh, but it was, it was a great challenge to do.
I mean, especially, my gosh, what a tour-de-force role that, uh, that Bob Gale
and Bob Zemeckis wrote for me, too.
It's really wild.
Now, do people, uh, behave differently, uh, in front of these guys?
Like Steven Spielberg or Michael J. Fox?
I think so.
You know, I don't think, I, I don't think they, they quite see it.
But I think there is kind of a, a scenario of posturing that comes.
Well, you must kind of see that, too.
I mean, when you're kind of, you know, sort of, uh, you know, kind of this,
this sort of thing as opposed to.
No, I haven't noticed.
No, you don't, no, no.
Uh, and you studied acting in, in college?
Yeah, uh, well, actually, I went to Arizona State University, uh, majored in,
uh, international politics.
Uh-huh.
Arizona being the hub of international relations.
Ah, yes.
It's like Brussels, almost, isn't it, there?
I know, uh, every time they get into, to, to a problem at the State Department,
James Baker's, I'm sure, well, uh, let's call Arizona State.
Hello, there's a professor.
I thought you should nuke until their shadows glow, you know.
And now, now you're living in, uh, Los Angeles?
Living in, yeah, living in Sena.
You have a house and everything?
Have a house, have a house, just bought a house with, uh, with, uh, sequel
dough, you know, so it's really nice.
The old sequel dough.
The old sequel dough.
Yeah, we can't beat it.
Yes.
Bought a house, you know, moved in, became my dad one afternoon, I don't know.
Huge house?
No, I mean, it's a, it's a, it's a very nice house, but we had things to do to
it and things.
I moved in, and one afternoon, I, from out of my body, I watched myself pick up
the hardware store flyer from the paper, never touched it before in my life.
All of a sudden, I find myself saying, honey, spackling paste, $2.50.
Yeah.
You know.
Let's get down there.
That's very scary.
So you're serious about that.
You do start to recognize traits, uh, that you saw in your father in, in
yourself now, huh?
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Well, I have, I have two little girls now, and my dad's a lawyer, and, you know,
so I interrogate them already.
Well, that's good.
Well, what do you think you do with the two, you know, that kind of thing, but.
Scare them a little bit here, then?
Yeah, that's true.
Uh, and, and your wife must be, is she, uh, an actress?
She's a lovely woman, she's not an actress, she works, uh, she's, uh, quite
bright, actually.
She works in the defense industry, and I can't discuss it any further, to be
perfectly honest.
Oh, really?
What, what does she do in the defense industry?
She works, uh, she works for Hughes Aircraft, and really, honestly, I don't
know what she does.
Is that right?
Yeah.
Is it, uh, is it like a, a mid-level job, an upper-level job?
You're not allowed to know that stuff.
Before she got the job, a guy, we were engaged at the time, and a guy showed up
at my apartment,
you know, flashed the whole, you know, wallet thing, and interviewed me, like,
for two hours.
Yeah, but that may have nothing to do with the defense department.
I don't, no, no, I don't, I think it was, yeah.
I lived with Yakov Smirnoff for a while, and that was kind of iffy.
Uh, but, I mean, like, at work, does she have a whole different name?
Yeah.
Are we going to see you two on 60 Minutes one day?
You know, she's, uh, and you, uh, what do you do for fun?
You, you work out?
You play golf?
You box?
No, I, I box, yeah, I box.
Hey, I'm a light, uh, heavyweight contender.
No, I work out.
I bought a mountain bike recently.
I live in the hills.
Are those, are those more fun than just your normal bikes?
I think so, but I look like a, such a geek riding it, you know?
I got big baggy sweats, you know, and I'm going up the hill honking like a
goose, you know,
and they're like, like a couple of 13-year-olds, guys, you know?
They're dressed like Paula Abdul in a wind tunnel, you know?
You know, they're right by me, and my chain breaks, and I'm, you know, spinning
my wheels.
Yeah.
Uh, so, uh, what's next for you?
There's going to be another, you're actually shooting the third one now, right?
We just finished a couple weeks ago.
We did Back to the Future 3, which is, uh, kind of a cowboy movie doing, uh.
A cowboy movie?
Yeah, it was, uh.
How did it get to be a cowboy movie?
Well, you kind of run out of stuff, you know?
It's like, it's jousting, or horses, or, you know, the Middle Ages were really
dry.
Do you think people want Back to the Future 3?
Dave, more than that, people need.
There you go.
Back to the Future 3.
All right.
We got to go?
Okay, James, pleasure to meet you.
Have a great year.
I'm Wilson, folks.
We'll be right back up to you.
We'll be right back up to you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I could have painted my garage in the time we were gone.
I could have had a complete physical examination in the time we were gone.
I did that.
I had a physical.
I could have prepared a boiled New England supper for the entire audience in
the time we were gone.
We were gone a little longer.
We were gone a little longer than normal, weren't we?
How much longer?
Thirty seconds.
Oh, thirty seconds.
That's not bad.
All right.
I could have painted the garage then.
Forget the boiled New England dinner.
Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you a little something about our next guest.
This man has made a cottage industry of playing Biff, the bully, in Back to the
Future films.
The latest Back to the Future film, which is called Back to the Future 3, opens
this Friday.
Ladies and gentlemen, here he is, Tom Wilson.
Back to the Future, the bully guy.
It's Tom Wilson, ladies and gentlemen.
How are you doing?
Very excited to be here.
I'm real great.
Happy to have you here.
Let's see.
Arnold Schwarzenegger, had you met him before?
No, I haven't.
He's a very big man.
Yeah, and a very nice man.
Enough about Arnold.
Let's talk about the movie, Dave.
Back to the Future 3 is the greatest movie.
I'm so like Siegfried and Roy.
I'm so like, oh, look at the appearing tiger.
A big, white, perky tiger.
We're a very brave man.
I was just like, yeah, I'm in like a, he's right back, bro.
This Back to the Future 3, he better be the runaway hit of the decade.
I'm just a huge headlock.
Let's see.
Let me see if I can remember some things about you.
You and your wife, you have a wife and a couple of kids.
Yes, my wife, Agent X, we called her last time.
She works in the defense industry.
Yeah, in a capacity that I can't discuss because her security clearance is such
that I don't know what she does.
She still has that job.
Yeah, she still has that job, I think.
I'm not sure, unless she's left it and I don't know.
But, yeah, she's on the softball team now.
So they have a softball team.
Now, are you welcome at these gatherings, these events?
Yeah, after I got my clearance, I can go to the softball.
You had to get clearance, actually?
No, no, no.
But a guy did interview me before she got the job.
But the softball team is about the most pathetic thing you've ever seen.
Really?
Computer engineers playing softball.
Yeah.
Guys figuring out the arc of the ball with a slide rule, you know?
Bob, it's at its apogee.
It's at its apogee.
Run for it.
The probability of it being fair far outweighs the relative risk of running it
down.
So they're a little kind of nerdy.
The worst baseball team with the best statistics you've ever seen.
Yeah, yeah.
And do you spend much time with these guys or not?
You probably don't see them much at all.
No time at all.
I do.
I mean, they come over to the house and stuff.
I mean, we spend some time with them.
What kind of house do you have?
Do you have a nice big house?
It's a nice big house, you know?
I got, you know, Sequel Doe.
Bought myself a house.
Sequel Doe.
Sequel Doe.
Got a little house.
Put in the barbecue, you know?
We're having barbecues.
Got a bug zapper lamp.
Bug zapper?
For the barbecues.
My neighbor sent one of these.
At night, it's a big glowing purple kind of...
Exactly, exactly.
And you're having potato salad and 20 feet away, there's a moth going,
Oh!
You know, it's just...
People enjoy the thing, you know?
They're getting into it.
And this is good chicken.
Oh, that was a big one.
No, it's still on fire down there.
One of your kids step on that wiggling thing, you know?
So that's no good.
I would think that that would be horrible.
No, it is horrible.
Let's talk a little bit about the movie.
Now, you're again Biff in this deal.
Now, I saw...
I'm not actually Biff.
I'm Buford Mad Dog 10 and Biff's great-great-grandfather.
Oh, see, this is very confusing.
An extension of the cottage industry.
So you're your own grandfather in the film?
Great-grandfather, yeah.
Great-grandfather.
Now, I saw the first film in a regular theater.
The second film I saw on an airplane.
I was traveling.
It's the best way to see it.
And that one confused me,
and I didn't know if it was lack of oxygen in the cabin or...
So now, what is the deal on this one?
It must have been.
This one is a simpler story than Back to the Future 2.
It goes...
It's more of a through-line, a kind of a plainer story.
It goes back to the Old West.
It's a Western, primarily.
Most of it is set in the West,
so I had to learn all kinds of skills.
Horseback riding, gun slinging and stuff.
Was it hard to...
Do you know anything about riding horses?
Nothing.
I mean, I was, you know, in the Poconos, you know,
on a sway-backed pony, you know.
Left now, right now, you know, that kind of thing.
But, I mean, an actual cowboy horse.
I mean, I was hoping for a horse...
This was an actual cowboy horse?
An actual, like, a horse that says, like,
what do you want me to do?
You know, I mean,
I was hoping for a horse named, like,
Underachiever, or, you know,
Glue Boy, you know, something like that.
I get, no lie, I get Diablo.
Ooh, Diablo.
Tom, this is your horse.
It's Diablo.
Be careful on him.
I get on this horse, young, very athletic horse.
It looks great to ride in the movie.
But this horse, I mean, you know,
you get on him early morning,
he's feeling full of his oats,
and this horse just kind of starts to do a happy dance.
And the next thing you know, like,
I'm riding what is ostensibly a bucking bronco, you know.
He goes nuts.
I'm from Philadelphia, and I'm, like,
he's jumping all over the...
And I'm not doing this hand-waving thing.
I'm, like, you know, I'm just kind of, like,
you know, holding on for dear life.
You know, I'm just, like...
And if you, like, slam into the saddle,
it's like, you know, huevos rancheros.
It's not comfortable.
These are enormous and powerful animals,
and you're just, like, a flock.
When I'm running around,
and there are cowboys around,
and stuntmen and everything,
they're all yelling, yee-haw!
Yeah, they think it's like a rodeo.
The last thing you want to hear,
you want to hear something like,
hey, stop him, you know.
Somebody help Tom.
Stuntman, yee-haw.
Yee-haw!
Did you get injured at all during that?
I, uh...
No, well, I...
Well, the only time I actually...
I never got thrown.
I got thrown from a ladder.
The only time I got injured,
I actually...
Thrown from a ladder?
A ladder, yeah,
because when it's a close-up,
you have to be very still,
and the horses would move around a bit.
So I got up on this kind of
seven-foot ladder,
and that's the only time I went, like...
Bucked off a ladder.
I actually went,
hell, whoa!
Just took a dive.
I like the stuntman yelling,
yee-haw.
Yee-haw, yeah.
That's a bad sign.
Uh, do we have a clip here of the film?
Huh?
Let's go to the clip.
Let's see the clip.
Uh, but no clip?
Now, are there...
It's the best movie of all time.
We'll see you next time.

Tom ("Biff") Wilson Collection on Letterman, 1990

THE END
Now, did Connie look great?
Would you have ever guessed that that woman was 70 years old?
Flight attendants always keep themselves in good shape.
Really?
I've noticed that.
But very, don't you think, very photogenic.
And as you mentioned, she had been to a modeling school.
Speaking of models, look at this.
I have the new issue.
This is the, what issue is this, Rose?
Oh, the new March 1990 issue of Woman Magazine.
You know, they have several women.
They have New Woman.
They have New York Woman.
They have Big Woman.
Big Scary Woman.
But this is just woman, right, Rose?
Just woman.
And there's an article in here on page 74.
And it's all about assistance to people.
And look, look who they've profiled right here in this issue.
It's our very own Rose right there.
My personal assistant for the last 35 years, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah.
Looks great in there.
And what's her name again?
Rose.
Now, is there a, is the article all right?
Did it turn out okay?
Pretty good?
Positive?
Solid gold?
Money in the bank?
So it's a pack of lies then, huh?
Good for you.
Well, congratulations, Rose.
You're certainly the...
How long you been flying?
Thank you.
The DC-4, Paul.
You ever been on that plane?
I've flown a DC-4, yes.
You have not.
There is no such...
Is there such thing?
Well, yeah.
Connie had been on one.
I've never heard of it.
I've been on a DC-3.
I've been on a Viscount.
I don't know what that is.
That's a plane, like a prop, uh, twin engine thing.
Fascinating stuff.
Yeah.
I don't care.
I'm sorry.
That's all right.
No.
We're just here waiting for my hair to dry so we can start the show.
Anything you want to...
I know.
Our next guest is best known to many as Biff the Bully in the Back to the
Future films.
Ladies and gentlemen, here's Tom Wilson.
Tom, come on out.
So, now, uh, I saw Back to the Future, the first one.
Yeah.
So, now, you're the guy that pulls him out of the car and roughs him up or
something, Michael
D. Fox?
Right, exactly.
All those, uh, phrases that have come into the lexicon of American youth, you
know.
Okay.
What are you looking at?
Butthead.
Yeah.
Make like a tree and get out of here.
You know.
And so, and you also roughed up his father.
That was the deal.
He comes back to him and then...
Yeah.
Roughed up, uh, George McFly or Crispin Glover.
So, so now, oh, Crispin Glover.
Now, what's...
How was he?
Was he in the second film?
Crispin?
Crispin, uh, unfortunately, Dave couldn't make the second film.
Uh, he, uh, he wigged out or something.
I don't know what happened and, uh...
He came on the show one night and wanted to kick me in the head.
I know.
I'm strong.
I'm really strong.
I saw it.
Yeah.
But now...
I can kick.
Yeah, it was great.
I, um, I want to talk about it.
I like to come on in a really long wig, you know, with my eye collection.
But now, when he, uh, when you were working with him, was he odd like that or
not?
No, Crispin, Crispin's actually a very nice guy.
Nice enough guy?
You know, yeah.
He's just excitable.
He's an excitable youth.
And he just kind of gets all squirrely, you know?
Uh, now, the, the second movie, uh, your, your role is the same and what
happens in the second?
Well, the second movie, I, I play a lot of, uh, different roles.
I mean, you know, thanks to Crispin's absence, my part got really much bigger.
So, uh, so, uh, so I played Biff in a lot of different ages, you know, from 18
to, uh, 80 years old.
And I play Biff's, uh, grandson, Griff, who's a real psychotic and all kinds of
different wild things.
Now, it was this, were these your first two big films, first two films, period,
or?
No, Back to the Future 1 was my first film.
And I did, uh, a lot of films between Back to the Future 1 and Back to the
Future 2 that, that live on in cable television.
But, uh, and on DC 4.
And on DC 4, that's right, exactly.
Uh, now, what, was it exciting, was it frightening, intimidating, or, uh, a
really learning positive experience for you to work with all of a sudden there's
Steven Spielberg.
Oh, yeah.
And then you get Michael J. Fox.
Oh, uh, a magnificent experience.
But, you know, very nerve-wracking because all of a sudden now you have to be
good, you know?
Up until that, it's just kind of auditioning and not getting anywhere.
But, uh, yeah, it was, uh, but it was, it was a great challenge to do.
I mean, especially, my gosh, what a tour-de-force role that, uh, that Bob Gale
and Bob Zemeckis wrote for me, too.
It's really wild.
Now, do people, uh, behave differently, uh, in front of these guys?
Like Steven Spielberg or Michael J. Fox?
I think so.
You know, I don't think, I, I don't think they, they quite see it.
But I think there is kind of a, a scenario of posturing that comes.
Well, you must kind of see that, too.
I mean, when you're kind of, you know, sort of, uh, you know, kind of this,
this sort of thing as opposed to.
No, I haven't noticed.
No, you don't, no, no.
Uh, and you studied acting in, in college?
Yeah, uh, well, actually, I went to Arizona State University, uh, majored in,
uh, international politics.
Uh-huh.
Arizona being the hub of international relations.
Ah, yes.
It's like Brussels, almost, isn't it, there?
I know, uh, every time they get into, to, to a problem at the State Department,
James Baker's, I'm sure, well, uh, let's call Arizona State.
Hello, there's a professor.
I thought you should nuke until their shadows glow, you know.
And now, now you're living in, uh, Los Angeles?
Living in, yeah, living in Sena.
You have a house and everything?
Have a house, have a house, just bought a house with, uh, with, uh, sequel
dough, you know, so it's really nice.
The old sequel dough.
The old sequel dough.
Yeah, we can't beat it.
Yes.
Bought a house, you know, moved in, became my dad one afternoon, I don't know.
Huge house?
No, I mean, it's a, it's a, it's a very nice house, but we had things to do to
it and things.
I moved in, and one afternoon, I, from out of my body, I watched myself pick up
the hardware store flyer from the paper, never touched it before in my life.
All of a sudden, I find myself saying, honey, spackling paste, $2.50.
Yeah.
You know.
Let's get down there.
That's very scary.
So you're serious about that.
You do start to recognize traits, uh, that you saw in your father in, in
yourself now, huh?
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Well, I have, I have two little girls now, and my dad's a lawyer, and, you know,
so I interrogate them already.
Well, that's good.
Well, what do you think you do with the two, you know, that kind of thing, but.
Scare them a little bit here, then?
Yeah, that's true.
Uh, and, and your wife must be, is she, uh, an actress?
She's a lovely woman, she's not an actress, she works, uh, she's, uh, quite
bright, actually.
She works in the defense industry, and I can't discuss it any further, to be
perfectly honest.
Oh, really?
What, what does she do in the defense industry?
She works, uh, she works for Hughes Aircraft, and really, honestly, I don't
know what she does.
Is that right?
Yeah.
Is it, uh, is it like a, a mid-level job, an upper-level job?
You're not allowed to know that stuff.
Before she got the job, a guy, we were engaged at the time, and a guy showed up
at my apartment,
you know, flashed the whole, you know, wallet thing, and interviewed me, like,
for two hours.
Yeah, but that may have nothing to do with the defense department.
I don't, no, no, I don't, I think it was, yeah.
I lived with Yakov Smirnoff for a while, and that was kind of iffy.
Uh, but, I mean, like, at work, does she have a whole different name?
Yeah.
Are we going to see you two on 60 Minutes one day?
You know, she's, uh, and you, uh, what do you do for fun?
You, you work out?
You play golf?
You box?
No, I, I box, yeah, I box.
Hey, I'm a light, uh, heavyweight contender.
No, I work out.
I bought a mountain bike recently.
I live in the hills.
Are those, are those more fun than just your normal bikes?
I think so, but I look like a, such a geek riding it, you know?
I got big baggy sweats, you know, and I'm going up the hill honking like a
goose, you know,
and they're like, like a couple of 13-year-olds, guys, you know?
They're dressed like Paula Abdul in a wind tunnel, you know?
You know, they're right by me, and my chain breaks, and I'm, you know, spinning
my wheels.
Yeah.
Uh, so, uh, what's next for you?
There's going to be another, you're actually shooting the third one now, right?
We just finished a couple weeks ago.
We did Back to the Future 3, which is, uh, kind of a cowboy movie doing, uh.
A cowboy movie?
Yeah, it was, uh.
How did it get to be a cowboy movie?
Well, you kind of run out of stuff, you know?
It's like, it's jousting, or horses, or, you know, the Middle Ages were really
dry.
Do you think people want Back to the Future 3?
Dave, more than that, people need.
There you go.
Back to the Future 3.
All right.
We got to go?
Okay, James, pleasure to meet you.
Have a great year.
I'm Wilson, folks.
We'll be right back up to you.
We'll be right back up to you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I could have painted my garage in the time we were gone.
I could have had a complete physical examination in the time we were gone.
I did that.
I had a physical.
I could have prepared a boiled New England supper for the entire audience in
the time we were gone.
We were gone a little longer.
We were gone a little longer than normal, weren't we?
How much longer?
Thirty seconds.
Oh, thirty seconds.
That's not bad.
All right.
I could have painted the garage then.
Forget the boiled New England dinner.
Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you a little something about our next guest.
This man has made a cottage industry of playing Biff, the bully, in Back to the
Future films.
The latest Back to the Future film, which is called Back to the Future 3, opens
this Friday.
Ladies and gentlemen, here he is, Tom Wilson.
Back to the Future, the bully guy.
It's Tom Wilson, ladies and gentlemen.
How are you doing?
Very excited to be here.
I'm real great.
Happy to have you here.
Let's see.
Arnold Schwarzenegger, had you met him before?
No, I haven't.
He's a very big man.
Yeah, and a very nice man.
Enough about Arnold.
Let's talk about the movie, Dave.
Back to the Future 3 is the greatest movie.
I'm so like Siegfried and Roy.
I'm so like, oh, look at the appearing tiger.
A big, white, perky tiger.
We're a very brave man.
I was just like, yeah, I'm in like a, he's right back, bro.
This Back to the Future 3, he better be the runaway hit of the decade.
I'm just a huge headlock.
Let's see.
Let me see if I can remember some things about you.
You and your wife, you have a wife and a couple of kids.
Yes, my wife, Agent X, we called her last time.
She works in the defense industry.
Yeah, in a capacity that I can't discuss because her security clearance is such
that I don't know what she does.
She still has that job.
Yeah, she still has that job, I think.
I'm not sure, unless she's left it and I don't know.
But, yeah, she's on the softball team now.
So they have a softball team.
Now, are you welcome at these gatherings, these events?
Yeah, after I got my clearance, I can go to the softball.
You had to get clearance, actually?
No, no, no.
But a guy did interview me before she got the job.
But the softball team is about the most pathetic thing you've ever seen.
Really?
Computer engineers playing softball.
Yeah.
Guys figuring out the arc of the ball with a slide rule, you know?
Bob, it's at its apogee.
It's at its apogee.
Run for it.
The probability of it being fair far outweighs the relative risk of running it
down.
So they're a little kind of nerdy.
The worst baseball team with the best statistics you've ever seen.
Yeah, yeah.
And do you spend much time with these guys or not?
You probably don't see them much at all.
No time at all.
I do.
I mean, they come over to the house and stuff.
I mean, we spend some time with them.
What kind of house do you have?
Do you have a nice big house?
It's a nice big house, you know?
I got, you know, Sequel Doe.
Bought myself a 