Name: Norm Macdonald Collection on Letterman, Part 2 of 5: 1996-97
Uploaded: 2019-11-24T00:26:48.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Collection on Letterman, Part 2 of 5: 1996-97' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-11-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Collection on Letterman, Part 2 of 5: 1996-97' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-11-24. Transcript available.

Norm Macdonald Collection on Letterman, Part 2 of 5: 1996-97

The End
Yes sir, Itzhak, I gotta tell ya, that's some of the best klezmer we've ever
had on the show.
And the only.
But I just quickly would like to mention those wonderful musicians are members
of four groups, Brave Old World, Capellia, the Klezmetics, and the Klezmer
Conservatory Band, so thank you.
Thank you.
Very exciting, very festive.
Yes.
And what do we, what should we know about Klezmer? What does it mean, what is
it?
Well Klezmer is as close as Jewish soul music.
Jewish soul music.
And Klezmer actually means instrument of song.
Well it was perfect for the occasion.
And so people would go and would have their various instruments and would just
play for weddings.
And of course, as you could hear, you know, you would have like very long
weddings.
You could dance like seven days with kind of music like that.
I'm not surprised.
Perfect when you're snowbound here in the theater.
Oh, for sure.
It's great to see you again.
Happy 1996.
Oh yes, I love the blizzard.
Thank you very much.
Whenever you want to come in and play anything, you're always welcome.
Anything.
Yes sir.
My thanks also to Sam Neill and her correspondent from Ohio out on the street,
Tim Barnhorst.
Barhorst, I'm sorry.
Now, we're told that Norm MacDonald, because of the storm, he's snowed in and
could not be here tonight.
So when Norm gets himself dug out, we'll have him on the show at his earliest
possible convenience.
But Norm MacDonald, apparently a victim of the storm of 1996.
Tomorrow, ladies and gentlemen, Pauly Shore will be here for the entire hour.
How is it Pauly Shore gets through and Norm MacDonald has snowed in in the
green room?
How does that work?
I don't know.
Do me a favor.
Now stay tuned for Tom Snyder on the Late Late Show.
And by the way, today is Tom's first anniversary of being on the air here at
CBS with the Late Late Show.
Congratulations to Tom and his entire staff.
We'll see you tomorrow night.
Enjoy the snow.
Good night, everybody.
Good night.
Okay, ladies and gentlemen, damn the luck, we're out of time.
I want to thank Paulie Shore for being here, and of course all the joke-telling
kids.
Ashley Judd, by the way. How about a nice welcome for Ashley?
It's the blizzard, Dave. It's relentless.
I'm terribly sorry. We've run out of time, and I would ask you to come back
another night,
and we'll talk about you and your life and your family and the motion picture
heat with Al Pacino and Robert De Niro.
Yes, but thank you very much, and please come back another time.
I would be glad, too.
And I'm sorry about this. We won't let it happen again.
I'm going to eat so much room service on this tab.
There you go. That's the spirit.
And I'm told that Norm MacDonald, who was also supposed to be with us this
evening because of the blizzard,
is snowed in and could not be here, and we will schedule him at his earliest
possible convenience.
Thanks. Thanks for watching, everybody. Have a great night. We'll see you
tomorrow.
Thank you very much.
Lawrence, that was wonderful. Thank you very much. That was very, very
impressive.
Now, let me ask you a couple of questions. Do you have to pay these guys?
I don't think so.
You didn't think about that. Here, you just write the overture. You don't worry
about paying them.
How do you think of this stuff?
Well, it somehow just pops out.
Pops out. That's very impressive.
But here, you ever do this?
Put it right in there.
And then that's a crank like that. You can study that in the cab.
Thank you very much.
It was a great pleasure having you here, and good luck in your life and your
career.
And thanks to all of you folks. It was delightful having you here.
My thanks also to Sandra Bullock, of course, and Marlon Wayans.
Now, let me mention one thing.
Norm MacDonald was supposed to be with us tonight, but because of the storm, he
apparently is stranded.
And so we'll schedule him another evening.
Thanks for watching, ladies and gentlemen.
Have a great evening.
Good night, folks.
Good night, folks.
Thank you.
Lawrence, that was wonderful. Thank you very much.
That was very, very impressive.
Now, let me ask you a couple of questions.
Do you have to pay these guys?
I don't think so.
You didn't think about that.
Sure, you just write the overture.
You don't worry about paying them.
How do you think of this stuff?
Well, it somehow just pops out.
Pops out. That's very impressive.
But here, you ever do this?
Put it right in there.
And then that's a crank like that.
You can study that in a cab.
Thank you very much.
It was a great pleasure having you here.
And good luck in your life and your career.
And thanks to all of you folks.
It was delightful having you here.
My thanks also to Sandra Bullock, of course, and Marlon Wayans.
Now, let me mention one thing.
Norm MacDonald was supposed to be with us tonight,
but because of the storm, he apparently is stranded.
And so we'll schedule him another evening.
Thanks for watching, ladies and gentlemen.
Have a great evening.
Good night, folks.
Thank you.
Hey, listen, we're out of time.
That was very, very nice.
Thank you.
I'm quite flattered that you would do that.
And you're all right.
You weren't injured.
Congratulations.
Good for you.
Yes, thank you.
My apologies to Brian Regan, a very funny comedian.
He will not be here tonight.
We've run out of time.
But you can go see him at a place called Laugh Tracks in St. Louis, January 12th
through the 13th.
My advice to you, call Trailways Now.
My thanks to Elizabeth Shue, Jason Alexander, Marv Albert, Tony Randall.
And I'm sorry, Norm MacDonald, who was supposed to be here with us tonight,
cannot be because he is, I understand, stranded in the...
Over here, man.
Because of the blizzard, he's still not dug out of the snow.
We'll see you tomorrow night.
Thank you for watching.
Good night, everybody.
Thank you, boys.
That's your Paul Schaefer and the CBS Orchestra.
We've had a lot of fun here tonight, ladies and gentlemen, and I apologize for
that.
My thanks to Martin McBride, it says here.
I'm guessing it was Martina.
It was Martina, wasn't it?
Yes, of course.
Justin Wilson, as well, and Tim Robbins.
Now, I want to make an announcement here.
Because of the storm we've had here for the last week, Norm MacDonald, who was
originally scheduled to be with us again tonight,
is still stuck in the storm, in the snow somewhere, and could not be joining us.
So my apologies to Norm MacDonald, and we'll have him back on the program.
Dave, Dave, I'm sitting here beside you here.
I'm right beside you.
I'm over here in the chair here.
There he is, Norm MacDonald.
Norm has been kind enough to be part of a week-long running gag where every
night we announce him as a guest,
and at the end of the show, I say he can't be here because of the storm, when,
in fact, he's right here.
Norm, you've just been superb.
Let's take a look now at the highlights of the Norm MacDonald storm, a week-long
running joke.
Hey, I saw somebody who looked just like you.
There it is.
That's Tuesday.
She walked like you do.
Here we go.
There it is.
Right there, Wednesday.
I thought it was you.
And here we go.
Yes, the other lookout.
Mayhem ensues.
Oh, my God.
Norm, it's one of our, it's one of our, Norm, it's one of our best ever running
gags.
Congratulations, John Clayton.
Norm MacDonald.
Thanks for watching, folks.
Have a great weekend.
Tom Snyder is next.
Good night, everybody.
Good night, everybody.
Wow.
Oh, man.
Powerful piece of drama.
That's it.
Our next guest is the very popular anchor of the Weekend Update segment on
Saturday Night Live.
Folks, do us a favor.
Please welcome our old friend, Norm MacDonald.
Norm!
Norm!
Good to see you, Norm.
You know, we always enjoy your visits.
And how's your family?
Are they proud of you?
Yeah, yeah.
They must be.
They like that I'm on the TV, you know, except they don't really.
My grandmother, like, I tell you, my grandmother loves you.
That's very nice.
Give her my best, please.
She always says, she goes, that David has nice eyes.
Oh.
Well, thank you.
But she doesn't care for Saturday Night Live.
She says, she says they're a bunch of damn dirty hippies.
Well, that's not true.
Yeah, it is true.
Oh, is it true?
Oh.
But she really loves you, and she likes when I'm on the show, you know.
Good, good.
And she always says, how's your friend David Letterman doing?
You know, is it for friends?
Well, you know, I think of you as a friend, you know, in the sense of TV.
We're friends.
We're TV friends.
We're TV friends.
Don't you think?
Yeah, we sit here and we talk, and then during the commercials, we're
uncomfortable, and we...
We're just like real friends.
Right, that's right.
But she has this thing where she thinks we're up playing Yahtzee all night or
something, so I let her believe it.
Well, we could.
You know, we could.
I don't mind.
You want to play Yahtzee all night?
All night Yahtzee!
But you know, actually, I don't know.
She was telling me, because she always tells me showbiz news, you know, because
she thinks I'm in showbiz.
And she gets a subscription to People Magazine.
Oh, sure.
Yeah.
So she figures she has like the inside.
Keep plugged in there, yeah.
So she was telling me about this movie that you have been satirizing all night.
The Late Shift.
And she said, she phoned me up.
She was all excited, you know.
She said, oh, they're going to do this movie with your friend, David Letterman.
And she said, it's all about the show.
She says, who's going to be playing you?
Like, I'm in the movie.
I said, no, nobody's going to be playing me.
I'm not.
I wasn't that key in it.
And she said, don't sell yourself short, Norm.
So she said, no, who's going to be playing you?
She can't hear well, you know.
So she just keeps saying the same damn thing.
So I said, I said, Michael York will be playing you.
Oh, well, that's good.
That's an excellent choice.
She loves Michael York.
You look a little like Michael York.
That would be good casting.
I've been told that.
Now, you know, we were talking to.
She loves you and Michael York.
That's the only two people she likes.
We were talking to Uma about geography, and she spent part of her early life in
India.
And you're a Canadian, as is Paul.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Canada.
Is that where you began as a comedian?
Yeah, I did stand-up in Canada.
And, man, that stinks.
Really?
Oh, my God.
You think, you ever go on the road and do stand-up?
Yeah, used to do that all the time, sure.
That stinks, right?
Yeah, it was not.
I mean, the travel was grueling.
Yeah, plus everyone hates you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, I didn't need to go on the road for that.
But I remember this one gig I did.
It was like, I call them a gig.
Yeah, sure, because you're in show biz.
Right.
So, it was in Red Deer, Alberta.
You know where that is?
Oh, yes.
Well, you know every other place in the map.
Part of that Red Deer Metroplex up there in Alberta.
Yeah, it was just outside of Red Deer.
Oh, just outside of Red Deer.
It was before I was hot.
So, I couldn't get Red Deer.
So, for those of them that didn't understand the first part.
So, I was at this gig and it was tough, you know.
Like, the guy told me before I went on, he said,
you know, you got to do the whole hour.
I had to do an hour.
Gee, that's grueling.
That really is tough.
And he said, if you don't do the hour, you don't get the check.
Because a lot of people have been, you know,
leaving before the hour was over.
And so, I started doing my comedy, you know.
And everyone hated my guts.
And so, like, ten minutes into it,
if everyone hates your guts for the first ten minutes,
you know, you're not going to win them over.
It's discouraging.
Yeah, you know, you're not going to have a good other 50 minutes.
So, everyone hates me.
So, then after a whole hour of that,
I have to host a joke contest, you know,
where I bring people from the audience up.
A little talent show kind of thing.
Yeah, and they tell their jokes.
Yeah.
So, they go up and they're hostile towards me, you know.
Oh, my God.
So, every guy, it would be like he would use me
as, like, the butt of the j