Name: More New Chris Elliott Segments on Letterman, 1986-89
Uploaded: 2019-12-02T01:27:47.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'More New Chris Elliott Segments on Letterman, 1986-89' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-12-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'More New Chris Elliott Segments on Letterman, 1986-89' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-12-02. Transcript available.

More New Chris Elliott Segments on Letterman, 1986-89

On tonight's program, Cornelia guest Donna Vivino and Billy Crystal will be
joining us moments from now.
But first, ladies and gentlemen, as that gay unmistakable Calliope tells us,
once again, it's time for a segment we like to call Dave's Grab Bag.
Come on out of the grab bag.
Thank you very much.
Excuse me, Paul.
Paul, was that organ music or factual information?
Certainly wasn't music.
Yes, here we have the segment where we spin the giant wheel of fun and let the
chance decide what you, the home viewers, are going to see.
Let's take a look at the selections on the wheel tonight.
First, we have something here called Trash the Donahue set.
That's right.
These hoodlums, now waiting down the hall in the studio where the Phil Donahue
show is taped, are prepared to turn the dump over should Lady Luck favor us
with this particular selection.
That's Trash the Donahue set.
Next, we have Singing Boulders.
Now, this probably could be a lot of fun.
After that, we have something called The Incredible Shrinking Guy.
This is an exciting sneak preview of what could very well be a brand new NBC TV
series.
After that, we have something called Inflate the Lady.
If this comes up, we'll have a special treat.
All I can say about this one, kind of a surprise for the upcoming 4th of July
weekend.
After that, we have here, coincidentally enough, look, Paul, it's Elvis' tuna
giveaway.
An unforgettable high-protein tribute to the king.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And finally, something on the wheel called the Lil Grab Bag.
Okay, let's spin the wheel now and see what fate has in store for us tonight.
Ready?
Here we go.
Who will chance reward?
It's Dave's Grab Bag, the giant wheel-o-fun, and it lands on...
Crash?
No?
It's a...
Please, please, please.
Ladies and gentlemen, Lady Luck has spoken, and she has chosen tonight singing
bowlers.
You know, the only thing better than watching bowling on TV is hearing your
favorite bowlers sing.
Let's listen now, shall we?
Don Carter.
There's Don Carter.
The shadow of your smile when you are gone.
Dick Webber.
Somewhere, my love, there will be songs to sing.
Dave Winkler.
In the night, exchanging glances, wondering in the night, what were the...
And Steve Rebutka.
Oh, Steve Rebutka.
To reach the unreachable star.
Oh, very nice.
Gosh, that was very nice.
Singing bowlers.
Okay.
Okay.
Let's give the wheel of fun another great big spin here, and see what it comes
up on now.
All right.
The wheel of fun, and now we're on...
Whoa!
Someone apparently left a door open, kind of a gust there for the wheel.
Oh, this is always exciting.
It's the Lil Grab Bag.
Boys, bring in the Lil Grab Bag here, and we'll see what we have on this.
Oh, yes.
It's another wheel to spin.
Here we go.
Let's give this one a spin rapidly, shall we?
There we go.
Spinning the wheel.
It lands on...
Wait a minute.
Perhaps I spun it wrong.
No, that's the only way to spin it, isn't it?
Oh, yeah.
Consult giant drum.
Okay.
Bring out the giant drum, boys.
Yes, we have a giant drum of instructions here.
Now, this increases the possibility to virtually millions.
Let me sift it around there once.
All right.
We'll open it up.
Reach inside.
Grab out a card from some lucky home viewer.
Could be driving home in a brand new Dodge.
All right.
And the drum of instructions tells us to...
Oh, look at there.
Spin again.
Okay.
Back to the big wheel.
Thank you very much.
Here we go.
One more spin on the wheel of fun.
And here we have L...
No.
Lit.
No.
No.
I see it's landed on the incredible shrinking guy.
And here now to tell us more about that, our own Chris Elliott.
Chris, come on out here.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Nice to see you.
Thank you.
Now, Chris, this is your new running character, I understand.
What happened to the old one, the regulator guy?
Well, you probably know better than me, Dave.
What do you mean by that?
You told me I couldn't do it anymore.
Oh, no, no, no.
Let's forget all about that.
Now, tell us about the new character.
Yes, this is something I'm very proud of and I'm looking forward to.
It's called the Incredible Shrinking Guy.
And I shrink to incredibly small size.
And the network's really behind this.
They've given us a big budget with lots of special effects and all that.
I think we have a clip.
We have a clip.
Do you want to set it up for the folks?
I don't know what it is.
They kind of just threw this at me when I came out here.
But I think it's self-explanatory.
Let's take a look now at the clip from Chris Elliott's new running character,
The Incredible Shrinking Guy.
You're huge! Get away from me! You're huge!
Get off, you rat!
God, you stupid!
That was -- that was really --
Thank you.
I see -- I certainly see what you mean about the special effects, that giant
pencil.
That was incredible.
Well, thank you very much.
But, you know, I'm confused about one thing, because the pencil was so large,
and then you busted a bottle over the rat's head.
Was that like a little tiny miniature bottle, or shouldn't that have been like
--
It actually should have been like two or three times your size, shouldn't it,
if the pencil was that --
Well, it's science fiction, Dave. It's just --
Yeah, I know, but I understand that, but keeping everything in proper
perspective --
Why are you always on my chase?
Chris, no.
I'm just trying to cut a niche out for myself.
You've got all this.
I don't have limousines.
I don't wear fancy Italian shoes.
I'll tell you what, you can --
You can do the -- you can do your little character twice a week.
Twice a week?
Twice a week.
I can do anything I want on this show.
All right, fine. There he goes. We have time for --
One more, one final spin of the wheel. Here we go. One more spin.
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
Inflate the lady. That means we're not getting around to Elvis' tuna giveaway.
Sorry.
Nice job, though, anyway.
Okay, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for Inflate the Lady. No, not something
you can do on a bus.
No, it's a patriotic tribute to Lady Liberty.
Nice job.
Thank you.
All right. We'll pause here for a commercial. We'll be right back with Billy
Crystal. Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
Coming up in this half hour, from Miami Vice, Olivia Brown is with us tonight,
and we'll have nine-year-old opera singers from PS 107 in Brooklyn here in New
York.
Tomorrow on the show, actress James Seymour will be here, and we'll have the
exotic crew.
From the set of "Late Night" with David Letterman, it's time for "Nightlight"
with Chris Elliott.
Join Chris and his special guest, TV's Wonder Woman, Linda Carter.
And now, here I come.
Thank you. Hello, folks.
Ah, oh my. Well, thank you very much. Hi, and welcome to my very first talk
show here, the premiere of "Nightlight" with Chris Elliott.
Thank you very much for being here. You know, I could, I guess, start the show
with a couple of old, tired jokes about indoor soccer or Eastern Airlines.
But, ah, I don't want to insult the intelligence of my audience the way so many
talk show hosts do today.
So, I think what I'm going to get to right away on my first show is my first
guest.
She is charming, she is beautiful, and she is a real wonder woman to boot, too.
And, ah, she's a good friend of mine, as well.
Will you please welcome Linda Carter. Linda!
How did you have a seat? Oh, my gosh. Thank you, thank you. Pleasure to be with
you.
Geez, you smell terrific. What is that that you got on there? That's great.
Well, it's, ah, actually, Coco. Congratulations on, ah, this made-for-TV movie,
ah, with you and Angie Dickinson. I hear it's great. That's still life. And, ah,
when is that going to be on?
Well, actually, it's, ah, it's still watch, and it was on last night.
So, sometime in the near future. Ah, did you, ah, did you bring a clip with you
by any chance that you have with you, or?
Well, I really don't see any point in that, because, ah, it was on last night.
Probably wouldn't be, probably wouldn't be any point. This is a short show. I
want to thank you for being my first guest.
And I appreciate it. You're terrific, and we're best friends, as always. Linda
Carter, ladies and gentlemen.
Dave! Oh, my God! Hi! How are you? Thanks for being here. Oh, my.
I should be on your show. Well, Dave. Hi, Chris. Hi. Chris Elliott, ladies and
gentlemen.
How are you? Why don't you have a seat? I just wanted to stop in and
congratulate you, Chris. This show looks like it's going to be a huge, a huge
hit.
Well, thank you very much, and, ah. If your studio audience is any judge. Well,
thank you.
Thank you. Well, for those of you in the audience that, ah, for those of you
that don't know, Dave has his own talk show.
That's right. On, ah, in fact, this very network around, ah, around this time
at night. Yeah, that's right.
I haven't seen it. I hear it's terrific. Thank you. And I hear that you've just,
ah, celebrated, what, your second year at Late Night?
Yeah, that's right. That's terrific. Congratulations. And, ah, Chris, why don't
you, ah, explain to the folks the concept of the show and what you're doing
here.
Well, actually, the, ah, actually, the concept is Brandon Tartikos. Ah, it's a
new scheduling idea. Uh-huh.
See, there wasn't, it's called piggybacking. Piggybacking. Piggybacking. Right.
There wasn't time for, ah, my show in the regular lineup of broadcasting on the
network.
Uh-huh. So what he, he decided to come up with was this new idea of piggybacking.
He puts my show on during your show. Right, right, right.
He's trying it out with a couple of new shows, too. He's got, ah, Alf and, ah,
the news, I think, together. There you go.
Oh, yeah. Tom Brokaw and Alf, yeah. Yeah. Not a bad idea.
I think his thinking behind that was, ah, to boost the nightly news' ratings. I
see. I see. By putting the two together.
So, why is he, ah, exactly, is he putting your show on, ah, during my show?
I really don't know, Dave. Uh-huh. Now, Chris, ah, I think it's great, ah, that
you have your own show here, but I, ah, I gotta tell you, I didn't really
expect that we'd actually be competing, you know, around the same time. Sure.
Go for it.
I'm sorry, there's the time. It's a short show, Dave. Will you come back, ah,
come back another time when we have more time to chat?
Well, actually, I just sit right over there. That's terrific. I want to thank
my special guest, Linda Carter. Still Life is on tomorrow night.
And, ah, Dave Lederman, of course. Next week, my guest will be Ishtar star
Dustin Hoffman.
Oh, that'll be a good show. Good night, everybody.
Thank you so much for being happy. We really appreciate having you.
I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.
Thank you.
Here you come.
Oh.
Thank you.
Well, thank you very much, and welcome to the show.
This is actually our second edition of Night Light.
And last week we premiered the show, and the ratings were so good,
I'm happy to say that the network has picked us up for another 36 shows.
So thank you very much.
I think that has to do with our audience right over here.
Thanks a lot, folks.
So I think what I'm going to do is get the show started right away
and bring out our first guest.
Is it hot in here or is it me?
Is it hot?
What?
You're going to fix the air conditioning?
Okay, I guess they're working on the air conditioning.
What?
The furnace is going to blow.
Oh, my God.
Get out of my way.
I want to get the hell out of here.
I'm too young to die.
I want to live.
I want to live.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, that was episode number one of our new running
character on Night Light
called The Panicky Boy, starring our own staff member, Adam Resnick.
Adam, come on out and take a bow.
Terrific job.
Nice going.
My first guest tonight is a good friend.
He is the star of his very own television show called The Equalizer.
He is also the only guest we've ever had on Night Light with the name Edward.
Will you please welcome a good friend, Edward Woodward.
Edward.
Edward.
Good to see you.
Let's have a seat right here.
Thank you.
Oh, my.
Well, good to see you, and thanks for being here.
Y