Name: Kamarr Collection on Letterman, Part 1 of 2: 1984-1989
Uploaded: 2019-12-24T17:01:50.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Kamarr Collection on Letterman, Part 1 of 2: 1984-1989' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-12-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Kamarr Collection on Letterman, Part 1 of 2: 1984-1989' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-12-24. Transcript available.

Kamarr Collection on Letterman, Part 1 of 2: 1984-1989

Thank you.
My next guest claims to be the only Greek magician working in the United States.
He will be appearing with red buttons this Saturday night at the Mount Airy Lodge
in the Poconos.
Two weeks later, he will return to the Café Versailles here in New York for a
six-month engagement.
Please welcome the David Copperfield of Greece, K-Mar.
My, oh my. Very nice. What can I do for you tonight?
How are you going to help me? You're going to be my assistant.
I'll be happy to, sir.
Okay, let's start with the candle. I would like to celebrate so many years you
on television, so let's light a candle.
Lighting the candle.
It's a magic candle.
What part of Greece are you from? Do you mind if I talk to you while you do
this?
I was born in a small island of Columnos. It's not even in the map, but
actually I've grown up in Rhodes.
All right.
Pelosis of Rhodes.
Rhodes is an island as well?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Candle, all right?
Candle.
Flame.
Flame.
Tissue paper.
Oh, my God.
Now, say the magic word.
Alakazam alakazum.
One, two, say it.
Oli!
Two beautiful stories.
I didn't even get to the magic word there.
Well, it's not good to smoke, David.
No, it's not a good idea.
No, no, certainly not.
Okay, tonight I'm going to teach you two things.
Broke English and magic.
After all, Orson Welles, Johnny Carson, however, Tony Kerris started him as a
magician.
Is that right?
Yes, as far as we'll do that.
Joe Franklin started him as well?
Yeah, that's what I heard.
Joe Franklin.
Would you please take your jacket off?
We're going to try to take this cigarette and put him through the jacket and
make the cigarette,
the lead cigarette disappear.
Now, do you do this in your club?
Well, I saw last night a lady was complaining it was hot, so maybe it's hot
tonight, so take
him off.
So now, when you do this in a nightclub, don't people worry that you're going
to ruin their
valuable clothing?
Well, I guarantee that I'm a good magician.
I never make mistakes.
Is this polyester by any chance?
Oh, I'm sure it is.
It is?
Okay, would you please make a hole with your finger?
It's NBC, I'm guessing it...
Well, Greeks, Greeks make...
It's all right.
Greeks make it with the thumb.
It's okay.
David, watch the lead cigarette.
Did you get a chance to meet Iris?
To matter of fact, I was working at the El San Juan Hotel while she was working
in the
Caribbean in Puerto Rico a few years ago.
I'm sure they closed it down.
David, watch the cigarette.
Okay.
And be careful, this is my jacket.
Yeah, you can afford it, you're a rich man.
Watch the lead cigarette, ladies and gentlemen.
Watch the smoke.
Watch my hands.
I'm starting to look like Liberace, yeah?
Look at this.
Push the cigarette inside, show the hand empty.
Say the magic word, David, one more time.
Alakazam, alakazum.
Alakazum.
Blow.
Oh, my God.
The cigarette is gone.
How do you like that?
Come on, ladies and gentlemen.
All right.
Do the one again.
Okay.
David, I'm a little thirsty.
I want you to help me to make a glass of...
Of course you are.
You've been knocking your brains out.
No wonder you're...
I've never seen a man work harder.
I'll bet you're dying of thirst.
David, I'm doing the show tonight, please.
I got very...
I got very little time, so please cooperate with me.
Now, he's been showing a poster of joint calling, so I brought a new poster.
Oh, that's...
She's lovely.
Who is that?
Is that Daryl?
I don't know who she is, but I like the cover.
Watch it.
Life magazine, whatever it is, doesn't matter.
We don't want to make publicity for anybody.
We're going to fold it just like that.
No, don't drink it.
Why did I give you a present?
I'm sorry.
It's all right.
It's clean.
Shall we put it in a newspaper?
Watch.
Watch.
Coming on from the other side.
Would you please hold it?
Yeah.
This is my original trick, by the way.
I brought it from Greece.
Ali!
Ha!
It's gone.
Dry pages.
No water.
No wetness.
No nothing.
Amazing.
All right, now watch.
K-mar, ladies and gentlemen.
K-mar.
K-mar.
I have a present for you.
Now you can drink it.
Why you...
What is this?
That's very impressive.
You've been drinking it?
Well, I don't like to drink while I'm working.
I see you feel the same.
So you make me a little nervous.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah.
I imagine you can't afford to do...
No, you can't.
Yeah.
Is K-mar your first name or your last name?
No, it's K-maradus.
K-maradus.
K-maradus, and you shorten it to K-mar.
I make it K-mar.
All right.
Now, I'm a little hungry.
You hungry?
You eat a little cotton?
Oh, sure.
Don't swallow it, please, eh?
Just put this in my mouth?
Yeah, of course.
Don't swallow it.
And we give some to the audience, no?
Hey, look at it.
I really should do this.
Mm-hmm.
You're not going to make me look like a jerk, are you?
No.
Mm-hmm.
I'm going to make me look like a jerk, I'm going to make me look like a jerk.
Oh
That's that's something that was terrific
I took mine out is it all you can keep this a souvenir we got a couple of more
minutes David
I want to show you how you scramble now you're gonna be a chef would you mind
to put a hat you don't like that
I heard well I'm not crazy about putting on hats but you want a magic hat no I'll
put on okay
How about an apron brought you an apron to make it look like a chef
Put this around please after you take that skate
Okay
Now I brought the instructions
Don't bother in Greek
Now David we're gonna make the scramble eggs we need an egg
I have here a handkerchief an empty handkerchief
Yeah
Okay we're gonna fold it
There's nothing in there
Not a mouth you're still working with a cotton
Now David go like this
Put your hand inside and let's see what you find
A little mouse
No no no
Oh yes one egg
What are you doing?
All right an egg
Okay I'll tell you what Kimar
Let's do what?
Finish it
Okay let's finish it
We're all right I'm sorry my mistake
Break it please
Break the put it right in there
Over there
Okay we can make some fire
All right the fire usually is under the pan but we do the Greek way backwards
so just like that
Watch
Now we have a little tissue paper
Over here David watch
Oh my god
Very nice
And now before we have a really accident and need the fire department let's
take the fire down
One two three
Would you please pick it up David?
One two three
Oh my
Oh my god
Amazing
Okay
Kimar ladies and gentlemen
Very nice
Nice job
Thank you very much
We'll be right back folks
Kimar
Thank you very much
Thank you very much
Thank you very much
Thank you very much
Thank you very much
On this program
Martin Short will be here and also singer Graham Nash we will have Stupid Petricks
is that right?
Yeah
More Stupid Petricks?
Oh that's right we're airing things a little out of sequence
Okay that'll be tomorrow night Stupid Petricks and Marv Albert
Okay now my next guest
This man is a magician
He appears with the stars at hotels in the Poconos and the Catskills
We're delighted to have him back with us
He was here once before on an international night
He was the same show as Iris Chacon
Please welcome ladies and gentlemen
Kimar the magician
Kimar I couldn't help but notice that your hat is on fire
Now stop that
You're going to hurt someone
Kimar nice to see you
Nice to see you David
I'm going to shake your hand
Now I'm going to help you tonight
Let me just tell you
You did great the first time
Yeah but I'm not putting on any hats tonight
No hats tonight
No goofy hats
No wacky hats
Alright
Okay now listen
What does the name Kimar mean?
Kimar means camarados in Greece
And I cut him in half
Just like we cut him in a woman in half
So it became Kimar
Yeah alright
Now David I got a very short time
I got to run over to Catskills
I have a show tonight in Browns Hotel
We got to do it fast
Do you actually have a show tonight?
Yeah
How long does it take to get up there?
Two hours if the traffic is good
So that's what I have to run past
I hope it works out well
Now can I have one of your hands David?
Sure
The clean one
The other one please
Thank you
This is some of what you'll be able to see
In the Catskills tonight
But you're lucky enough to get up there
Now I like to establish the fact
That David is just helping me today
But he's not cooperating with me
In other words
We haven't fixed up anything
Now David
All I'm going to do here is a nut
A regular nut
Alright
Well I have a show for you today
Watch
Two silks
Correct?
Now you ever heard the new power of telekinesis?
It's a Greek word
See Greeks gave the Olympics
We gave telekinesis the word
Telekinesis
Telekinesis means an object
An object to move from one place to the other
With the force of mind
Now watch
We have here an empty bag
Is that an empty bag?
Put your hand inside please
There's nothing inside
Which way?
Which way?
Any way you like
Is there anything inside?
Absolutely empty
This bag seems to be empty
Let's show to the audience
Nothing
Now we're going to place
The handkerchief inside
You see the different designs
Ladies and gentlemen
It's a multi-colored kerchief
Kerchief
Only to prove
God bless you
Thank you
The salad
Alright
Push him in there with your hand please
And here we go
There's a rabbit in there now
No the rabbit we had for lunch
Now David
Do the magic moves
Alakazam alakazum
And this is all I'm doing by the way
Now watch
Okay
Did you see what happened now?
Saw nothing
Silk vanished from here
When inside they're watched
By the way I'd like to tell you
That I'm very glad to be back
Now that's misdirection
From the last show I did with you
It was the Thoreas
And today coincidence
It's also the Thoreas
That's right
Isn't that amazing?
It is amazing
And I got a commercial out of it
You got a commercial out of it?
And every time
What's the commercial for?
Caesar's Palace
With body hack it
Make a lot of dough
Make a lot of money
And the silk is empty
I mean it's gone
It's gone
You see what I'm talking about?
I do
I noticed the silk is gone
It's gone
Okay now
Let's see what happened there
Show your hand up
With the silk
And with the glass
Please hold the glass tie
Watch
One, two, three
Allez
Oop
All right
Hey look at that
K-Mar ladies and gentlemen
K-Mar
Thank you now
America's family
Family saving place
K-Mar
I'm going to teach you a trick now
This is the most famous magic trick
The newspaper
Here I have two identical newspapers
Would you please unfold it?
Now I didn't bring the famous newspaper
I don't want to give no publicity
So it's just the paper
Please open it
Forget about the dirty jokes
Come on
Now
Big sale and paneling
Down at Conklin's
Could you show the audience
That the paper is open like this?
All right
Now
If you knit
Like I am
We're going to cut the paper
In two pieces
Just like this
You want me to do that K-Mar?
Yeah please
Yeah please
Please
Now
Put the two pieces together
I'll be appearing at Kutcher's tonight
Of course
If the traffic is good
All right
All right
Hold it like this now
Very good
And
Fold it again
Right
And cut them right into the middle
All right
Not bad
So far so good
Take your time
But hurry up
Okay now
Put them together
And fold it once more
So far we have
Thirty-two pieces
Of the new space
Hey not bad
Thank you very much K-Mar
Now shake it like that
To show that it's all
It's all loose
Fold it again one more time
That's good
That's
We need our condition
Watch
All right
All right
Show the little piece
Now if you did exactly
You will have a lady
Showing something over here
The last page
It doesn't make any difference
Just put them together
You see you don't pay attention
There's a guy putting up
Acoustical tile
Well better not
Now
All the magicians
They go so far
I'm gonna go
Yeah
I'm gonna go one more step ahead
Oh boy
Cut them now
We have 64
And 64 makes
128 something
Something like that
I hope you know
What you're doing
All right
All right
Put the papers together now
Don't drop anything
No
Okay
Okay
Make the magic
I should be nervous
Something magician
Not you
You only help me
Now go like this
With your hands
And one, two, three
Put the papers together
Just like I do
Come on
Well I have nothing
But scraps here
And I have
The paper again
In one pie