Name: Teri Garr Collection on Letterman, Part 1 of 5: 1982-1984
Uploaded: 2020-01-03T22:16:20.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Teri Garr Collection on Letterman, Part 1 of 5: 1982-1984' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-01-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Teri Garr Collection on Letterman, Part 1 of 5: 1982-1984' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-01-03. Transcript available.

Teri Garr Collection on Letterman, Part 1 of 5: 1982-1984

There will be plenty of surprises when David Letterman comes to CBS, but we can
probably
expect plenty of appearances by Terri Gard.
Recently I asked her why she and Dave have this mutual admiration thing.
I have great respect for David Letterman because he's an artist in his own way
and he's a very
talented and smart guy and he works his butt off, you know, he works very hard.
Well, you know, some people, Letterman throws people sometimes on the show, but
he never has
thrown you.
Not literally, but I mean in a figurative.
But he tries to, doesn't he?
Yes, he does.
I think he does too.
People tell me that.
They say, "Guy, he's so hard on you."
I go, "Well, I didn't notice that."
I don't notice it.
We just have a conversation, but then it isn't just a conversation, is it?
No.
It's something else.
But you know, I'll tell you why I admire him too, is that he really has guts to
stand up
for himself, because look at this situation.
I'm not saying anything bad about any particular networks or anything, but here
NBC had him
for so long.
And then he said, "No, no, you're not getting this Tonight Show spot.
We're giving it to someone else and we're just going to leave you right in
there and you're
trapped as a prisoner in that time slot."
And he had to have the guts to say, "No, I'm not.
I'm going to move on."
I mean, that takes guts.
You really have to be strong to do that.
And then when he did it, they said, "Well, we're just going to make this really
hard on
you.
You can't take any characters that you created.
You can't have anything that you did on our show, anything you did in our
building, you
can't take with you and you leave your clothes there too."
I heard that.
They said, "You can't take any of his clothes."
Well, I mean, that's, you know, so they're being a little bit eighth grade
about it all.
When you walked out that first time to sit in that guest chair, what was going
through
your mind?
Do you remember?
Well, I think I was very nervous.
Although I had done a show before with him and, uh, not his show, a show when
he was on
the radio in Indianapolis and I was promoting, you know, Young Frankenstein and
I drove through
there and I met this guy out in a, you know, a radio station.
And so then when he did that show, I said, "Do you remember me?
Do you remember me?"
Was the guy that asked you what kind of car you had?
I said, "Yeah, yeah, I remember."
He even sent me the tape of the show that we did.
So I thought I would be, I wasn't nervous.
I was much more nervous to do The Tonight Show.
I thought, "Well, this no one's going to watch this anyway, so I don't have to
be nervous."
Within 15, how many times have you been on The David Letterman Show?
Do you know?
106.
106 times.
I don't know.
I'm just making that up.
But let's see.
The show's been on for 10, 11 years or something?
11 years.
And I've been on it at least three times a year.
So what is that?
33 times?
It's embarrassing.
Why do you think you've been on the most on the show?
I think Connie Chung has been on the most.
Okay.
Why do you think you've been on in the top three?
I like Connie.
Because I'm a nice person.
And because a lot of times they would call me up and say, "Can you do the show
on Thursday?"
And then I go, "Well, who died?"
No, no, no one died.
It was just like they'd call me on Tuesday.
And I'd say, "Well, what the hell?
I'll do it.
I don't care.
I like to do it."
It's fun.
It was like an experience.
Like a Disneyland ride.
But then so many people told me, "Don't do this.
You're just ruining your career by doing this show too much."
And I think, you know, we're all going to be dead someday.
They're going to go up to my grave and go, "You didn't let him in too much.
You must die."
I don't care.
I'll do it.
They did it because it was fun.
Because they asked me.
I'm sure they asked a lot of other people who had more scruples than I did.
How do you think he's going to do in an earlier time slot?
Oh, I think he'll do very well.
He's pretty good at this and what he does.
I really think he's created a whole new life and a whole new art that wasn't
there before.
It was like Marlon Brando recreated acting in this country.
David Letterman recreated like a host.
There was never anyone like him before or anybody like him since.
Now.
So it's interesting to watch.
I'll watch it.
It's like watching a train wreck.
Not really.
No, it's like watching something that you've never seen before.
An alien.
Believe it or not, Terry has not been Dave's most frequent guest.
That honor goes to sportscaster Marv Albert.
And she's coming to CBS as well.
She's going to be on Good Advice with Shelley Long this season.
She's going to play Shelley's sister.
So we get Dave on this network.
We get Terry on this network.
It's the right network to park your body in for her.
She's a lovely lady.
It's so funny.
Lovely lady.
Way to go, Terry.
Let's see how many weeks it'll take to get her on the show.
Maybe the third day?
We'll see.
Five minutes before the hour.
We'll be right back.
The appearance is on Letterman.
I mean, it's no secret that you're one of Dave's favorite guests.
It's a secret to me.
Is it a secret to you?
Yes.
Then why the hell does he invite you back 60 or 70 times?
Because no one else will do that show in their right minds.
Or don't tell them I said this.
There are some people who won't do it because they're afraid it'll, you know.
Really?
Yeah, it'll make them feel awful.
I always did that show because it's fun to do.
And he's just so much fun.
I mean, for years now.
Years are adding up.
I just did that show because they'd call and say, oh yeah, I love to do that
show.
I'll do that show.
And people say, don't do that show.
Don't do that show unless you're going to plug something because you don't want
to do that.
And I think, well, I don't care.
I like it.
But now I'm only doing it when I'm plugging something that I want to have
people see.
Do you get self-conscious when you're on shows like this or on Letterman's or
whatever?
Of course I do.
Do you?
More you think?
Yeah, I do.
More you think than the average person does?
Than the average performer.
I don't know.
The average guy in Des Moines, Iowa doesn't come on a Letterman show.
Well, no.
I mean, I guess I've become used to it.
Maybe too used to it.
When I just feel like I'm talking to you.
And now, especially on this show.
Because I think, well, they'll just edit out all these lulls.
And so we'll just sit here until we figure out what we want to say.
Until we're at the height of our hilarious conversation.
And that's what they'll use.
And the rest of this stuff, they'll just cut it out.
That's what I think.
So I'm very relaxed.
Here's to you.
When you walk out on a Letterman show, though.
Yeah.
In front of a live audience.
And the thing is live on tape.
I mean, the impression would be, here's a woman who's done this so often.
And she's such a favorite of Letterman and of his audience.
That she can just glide right through this without a care in the world.
True?
Or do you still get the butterflies?
You know, it's a very strange thing on that show.
I do kind of figure out I want to talk about stuff or some kind of jokes or
some kind of notes.
And I get them all figured out.
And the minute I walk out there, I know David so well that it's like I'm
talking to him in the hall.
And I say, well, what about your hair?
And it becomes a conversation that's just somewhere in the back of my mind.
I think there's cameras on and we're on television.
But it doesn't really register totally that that's what we're doing.
It's funny.
I don't know.
I really should prepare an act and go on the Letterman show.
But then what for?
I don't care.
I mean, you know, it's not what I do, really.
I just like it.
I shouldn't do it so much.
I think this next gal is swell.
She rings the bell.
She rings the bell.
She was in that last Coppola film that didn't do well.
Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Terry Gar.
Hi.
How'd you sleep, weren't you?
I think this next gal is swell.
I think this next gal is swell.
She rings the bell.
She was in that last Coppola film that didn't do well.
Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Terry Gar.
Hi.
Have a seat, weren't you?
Very nice of you to come out after that introduction.
Nice lyrics.
Harv Man, Terry Gar.
Hello.
Nice to meet you.
You have things there on your head.
Really?
Yeah.
I mean, you knew that, didn't you?
No.
Oh, yes, I do.
How are you?
Nice to see you again.
Nice to see you, too.
I haven't seen you in a long time.
Been a while, hasn't it?
Mm-hmm.
Now, let's get this straight.
You're not living in New York.
I'm not at liberty to say where I'm living.
I'm sorry.
For legal purposes or?
Yes.
No, really?
No, no.
Well, yes, as a matter of fact.
Did you wear those on the plane coming out?
Yes, I did.
As soon as I found out this was going to be a special.
No, I bought these right out on the street.
Every corner sells these.
Uh-huh.
You can get little stars or hearts or things.
Yeah.
Another reason to vacation in New York, isn't it?
It is.
Yeah.
They sell these.
The guy that invented these said, "I got an idea.
I want to make a million bucks.
We're going to put these stars in."
Yeah.
He's not making a million bucks.
How much did you pay for those?
I'm not at liberty to say.
All right, they were three dollars.
You can get two sets of them for five dollars.
Uh-huh.
In case you have a friend.
Any kind of guarantee there?
No guarantee.
Now, when you're out walking around on the streets, do people recognize you
pretty much?
I mean, you've been in a lot of big-time motion pictures.
It would seem so.
Yeah.
But, no, I'm not recognized a lot.
I bet you are, though, because you're on TV.
No, I don't.
No, it doesn't happen.
You don't go out, though.
You don't go out in the building?
No, I go out occasionally.
I go out, sure.
I do go out of the building.
You'd have to go out of the building.
That's right.
Do I?
Yeah.
Sooner or later, you've got to go out.
Now, do people say anything to you on the streets?
Other than, would you like to buy some stars for your head?
No.
Well, they say, most people think they know me from someplace.
And they say, did we go to high school together?
And I say, I don't think so.
I'm an actress.
No, no, no.
It's not that.
Yes, yes, I'm an actress.
I was in this.
I was in that.
No, what else were you in?
I end up standing there telling total strangers, long lists of credits.
And each thing I say, this black stallion, they go, no, no.
It wasn't that.
I didn't see that.
Well, how about this?
No, no.
It wasn't that.
I know we went to high school.
Mm-hmm.
So, I guess I'm just one of those.
Well, that's nice of you, though, to take the time and talk with them.
It is.
I have nothing else to do.
Yeah, you meant to.
Now, just let me address myself to what Harv was singing earlier.
What is that like when you work a long, long time on a motion picture?
What are you doing?
I was just looking at this.
Is this in honor of the festivities?
Oh, yes.
Part of the special.
Fabulous.
That show is fabulous, isn't it?
Yeah.
Um, now you work on a film a long time and it doesn't do that well.
It was not a runaway hit.
Yeah.
What does that do to you personally, professionally?
I don't know.
Nothing.
I don't...
I've never...
Let's see.
What a question.
You know, when I read that thing in The Rolling Stone where you said tribesmen
in remote islands
of Borneo or something, say, you know, David Letterman's show failed, his
morning show.
Mm-hmm.
That's what you feel like.
You feel like everyone says this all day long.
The Coppola movie, it didn't work, it didn't work.
And I mean, I wish I had a penny for every time someone came up to me and said,
"What
happened there?
Why didn't it work?"
Do I know?
I don't know.
I went there.
I did my job.
I did the best I could.
And I left.
And I...
I was gonna say I took my money, but I didn't even do that.
But you...
Oh, that's right.
They, uh...
Yeah, well, okay, okay.
It's okay.
I'm a good sport.
Uh, uh, now, but when you go into that, you go in, you'r