Name: Teri Garr Collection on Letterman, Part 5 of 5: 1993-2008
Uploaded: 2020-01-04T00:52:28.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Teri Garr Collection on Letterman, Part 5 of 5: 1993-2008' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-01-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Teri Garr Collection on Letterman, Part 5 of 5: 1993-2008' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-01-04. Transcript available.

Teri Garr Collection on Letterman, Part 5 of 5: 1993-2008

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Okay, our very first guest this evening
is an Academy Award-winning --
I'm sorry, an Academy Award-nominated actress.
She --
You know, if you ever get a show,
I'm coming around to bother you.
She is an Academy-nominated --
an Academy Award --
She -- She came very close to winning something.
What is she doing?
Have you ever seen a shirtless astronaut?
Roll it, Hal!
Here it is again.
There you go.
You see that?
She will be appearing in the TV film
"Fugitive Nights: A Danger in the Desert"
airing November 19th.
Danger in the Desert.
I'm having a little trouble tonight, all right?
Just relax.
Danger in the Desert,
airing November 19th on another network.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome
the love of my life, Terry Garr.
Thank you very much for coming, Terry Garr.
Thank you very much for coming, Terry Garr.
Thank you very much for coming, Terry Garr.
Thank you very much for coming, Terry Garr.
Thank you very much for coming, Terry Garr.
Thank you very much for coming to the new program.
Tease, tease, tease.
That's all you do to me, isn't it?
Yeah, I know.
But you know, we think the world of you here.
Thank you very much for coming, Terry Garr.
How are you doing?
Oh, fine, I guess.
Thank you very much for coming to the new program.
Tease, tease, tease.
That's all you do to me, isn't it?
Yeah, I know.
But you know, we think the world of you here.
It's hard to tell.
How have you been?
How was that?
Do you have a nice Halloween?
Do you celebrate Halloween?
Trick or treat?
Yeah, I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
But you know, we think the world of you here.
It's hard to tell.
How have you been?
How was that?
Do you have a nice Halloween?
Do you celebrate Halloween?
Trick or treaters?
That sort of thing?
I celebrated in church, you know.
Oh, well, yeah.
It was on a Sunday.
Sure, good for you.
No, I didn't do anything.
I just flew here to do this show.
Yeah?
Well, thank you very much.
Well, thank you for asking me, finally, to be on your new show.
Well, we're just now getting to the G's.
I'm sorry.
I don't know.
You know, I'm sorry.
I guess you can't help yourself.
You have to be mean to me.
I don't know.
No, I'm not being mean to you.
I'm just being, you know, we're having fun.
Oh, is that what that means?
Yeah.
I'm being jocular.
I see.
Yeah.
You know, Candace Bergen was here a couple of weeks ago.
B. Bergen.
B. Bergen.
And she was talking about something that she, I believe, hosted and that you
participated in, and it was a little party, a little gathering, friends, and
they dressed up their dogs and had a little talent show or something.
No talent show, just a dog contest.
Uh-huh.
Just a dog costume party.
I see.
And, um, yeah, yeah, that's what we did.
Right.
That's the kind of stuff we do in L.A.
What do you, what kind of stuff do you do here in New York?
Have these sophisticated Noel Coward parties and stuff?
You will.
I don't know.
We dress our dogs up in costume.
We go to the picnic.
Just sitting out there waiting for the big one, dressing up your dog, huh?
That's right.
That's what we do.
And what kind of dog do you have?
I have a little Cocker Spaniel.
Yeah.
What's the dog's name?
Jojo.
Oh, Jojo.
That's nice.
Jojo O'Neal.
Yeah.
And, uh, the dog has a last name.
That's so he can get his mail.
And, uh, what did you, uh, what did you dress the dog as?
Well, I, I dressed him up as a desert stormtrooper.
Yeah.
I just made it up.
I put a little camouflage thing on his neck and a hat.
Oh, that's good.
He didn't know what was going on, no.
No.
But there was a lot of, uh, Candy's dog was dressed up as a ballerina.
Oh, that's nice.
And there was one dog that won, and that was a French poodle that was dressed
up as a Jew.
You know, he had a yarmulke and earlocks.
Well, and a big blue, um, Star of David on his back.
Mm-hmm.
The dogs don't know.
It's for us, our entertainment, you know.
Uh-huh.
But, um, you know, I, I've been, have you ever...
Have you ever...
And you, and you do, you find that entertaining.
Somewhat, yes.
Slightly entertaining.
And is this like a weekly deal or something?
Yes, every week, like clockwork.
You know how hard it is to think of costumes?
Every week.
Well, it must be real punishment, sure.
No, no, we did it once, just as a lark, you know.
Yeah.
Now we've gone on to other things.
Yeah.
Like what, what else are you doing now?
What's new in your life?
Oh, you got the big TV show on, uh, where is that show?
Here?
No, it's in another, it's in Thailand.
Good Advice.
Is that what the...
Yeah.
We do a lot of publicity for it here, but it never actually shows in this
country.
What's the name of the show?
It's Good Advice, right?
Good Advice, I think, yeah.
I'm not sure.
And it's you in who?
Uh, Shelley Long.
Yeah, she's very good.
She used to be on Cheers, you know.
Really?
Yeah.
What was that, Cheers?
It was a big blockbuster hit.
Was it?
So, but what is the show?
I don't know.
It's a, it's a show.
You've stuck me here.
I play her sister.
She plays a marriage counselor who's getting a divorce.
Therein lies the joke.
Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
So, and then Treat Williams is on the show, and we all share this sort of...
Treat Williams, and what has he been in?
He's been in big blockbuster films himself, right?
Treat Williams?
Well, let's see.
He was in Hair.
Yeah.
Wasn't he in a film called Prince of the City?
Yes.
You got me out.
See, you don't know anything about the business, actually, do you?
No.
Well, I think he was in...
I, I don't know as much about show business as you know about dressing up dogs.
That's true.
Well, I can see.
I can see.
Now, have you heard of this book called The Hidden Life of Dogs?
Uh, will it help if I play along?
Well, it's a very good book.
I just wondered it, because you're interested in dogs.
Yeah, okay.
I've heard of the book, then.
Okay, that's all.
No, no.
What's the book?
Tell us about the book.
Well, it's about...
You're making it into a movie.
You're gonna be in a...
They're making a movie?
It's about how dogs...
An anthropologist wrote the book, and it's about how dogs roam around
neighborhoods,
and how there's alpha dogs, and there's dogs that follow alpha dogs, and there's
leaders,
and how dogs behave very much like people, in my opinion, except in a much more
subtle way.
Wow.
Well, I'll have to pick up a copy.
Well, go ahead.
All right.
We're gonna do a commercial here.
We'll continue chatting with Terry Garr right after you watch this.
Hey!
Terry Garr is here, ladies and gentlemen.
Paul Simon is on the program.
I bet you've worked with Paul Simon before, haven't you?
You've worked with a lot of people.
You know a lot of people in show business.
I do.
You know Paul Simon?
I do know Paul Simon.
I've worked with him in the past.
Yes.
I've worked with him in the past.
Yes.
I've worked with Paul Simon before, haven't you?
You've worked with a lot of people.
You know a lot of people in show business.
I do.
You know Paul Simon?
I do know Paul Simon.
You've worked with him in the past?
Yes.
I've worked with him in the past.
Yes.
I've worked with him in the past.
I've worked with Paul Simon before, haven't you?
You've worked with a lot of people.
You know a lot of people in show business.
I do.
You know Paul Simon?
I do know Paul Simon.
I've worked with him in the past.
Yes.
How do you like the theater here?
I love this theater.
Have you worked in this theater before?
Yes, I did.
I did once.
What did you do here?
I did the Jonathan Roth show or something.
Oh, yeah, but that's like two or three years ago.
Oh, that doesn't count, right?
Well, no, I'm talking about historically.
1926, I worked here.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I was, somebody told me, I don't know if somebody told me this or if I imagined
it, but did you ever date Ed Sullivan?
Was that, did I?
I think, yeah, I did.
I did.
You did.
Yeah.
Well, what do you think of the place?
It's great, isn't it?
It's very beautiful.
Thank you very much.
I was wondering if I was in the Beatles dressing room, but I guess I was not.
Now, you actually went to London and met the Beatles, didn't you?
When you were a kid, like 19.
Yes, I did.
Yeah.
Well, tell us about that experience.
Well, no.
Okay.
I will.
I will.
Okay, okay.
I know this is the big time now.
We're in earlier.
We have to be serious.
We can't just fool around and have nothing to say.
So, I went to London, yes.
I was doing some job in Europe, and I stayed in this apartment that Cass Elliot
had.
And the guy--
Mama Cass of the Mamas and the Papas.
Yes, that's right.
More rock and roll memorabilia.
And so they knew this guy, the road manager knew the Beatles, and so they came
over one night,
and I met them, and I was very excited.
Because I said to my girlfriends when I was going to London, I said, you know,
I'm going
to London.
I'm going to meet the Beatles.
And they went, uh-huh.
And then I did.
But I also, I worked with Paul Simon.
He wouldn't remember this.
In--
Is this a new story?
Yeah.
I sink went into it.
I can go back to the hidden life of dogs if you want me to.
I don't care.
Whatever you want to chat about.
The only reason I brought up the thing about dogs is because the alpha dogs,
the dogs that
the other dogs follow--
Talking about fraternity dogs now.
I don't think so.
And you're an alpha dog, and I'm an alpha dog, I think.
That's why we bicker a little bit.
This story is going nowhere.
Really?
I think I won another $100 from all those.
Somebody told me to say that, and I get $100 every time something bombs, right?
Yeah.
So now, Paul Simon, I worked with him on this show called Chivaree.
Oh, Chivaree.
Chivaree.
It was one of those rock and roll shows.
No, you mean shindig or something.
Well, it was like shindig.
It was chivaree.
I used to dance on all those shows.
What's so funny?
Well, I mean, just, sure, for you, I'm laughing because I care about you.
Really?
I'm not laughing.
Not because I'm funny or anything like that, but because you see how much I'm
crying.
I'm trying to be just as absolutely supportive as I possibly can.
Well, I think it's very, very kind and open of you.
Hey, let's talk a little bit about the big TV movie, Danger in the Desert.
That sounds like some kind of, yeah.
What is that?
Are you out there?
Well, it's Danger in the Desert, not Danger in the Desert.
Yeah, I know.
It's a joke.
But that wouldn't be a bad movie, would it?
If you think about it?
Yeah, about the exploding strawberry shortcake.
Yeah, some kind of exploding banana split.
There you go.
It writes itself.
It does.
No, it's about, I play an ex-LAPD policewoman.
Right.
So I did some research with them.
Yeah, they do.
You go out for like six weeks, a couple of months, and you spend some time in
the back
of a squad car running down vandals and thugs and so forth.
Yeah, that's what I did.
Yeah.
No, I didn't do six weeks.
I had a couple of days in the valley with these policewomen.
So you now know all about police work.
Oh, it's very frightening.
I mean, seriously, it's a scary thing.
These women are unbelievable.
Yeah.
And they're underpaid, and they're very tough.
So I don't know.
What's the matter?
I don't know.
I thought I heard something.
I thought I heard, like, some other thing was gonna happen now.
Or, like, they were gonna show --
The sound of silence.
My false silence.
I would always be the sound of silence.
You know.
All right, Terri.
Anything else?
Yes.
I have lots more to say.
Yeah.
Well, when we get back around to the G's, we'll give you a call.
You know, Deborah Winger was on the show already, so don't tell me that.
I don't think you need to patronize me.
Oh, man.
It's good to see you.
When is this thing gonna be on?
Let's see.
It's November 19th.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, it'll be great.
Terri, congratulations on everything.
Nice to see you.
Thank you.
Terri Darl, ladies and gentlemen.
We'll be right back.
As you may know, we think the world of our first guest tonight.
She is an Academy Award-nominated actress
and the star of this network's smash blockbuster situation comedy called Good
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