Name: More Chris Elliott Goodies on Letterman, 1985-1988
Uploaded: 2020-01-13T05:24:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'More Chris Elliott Goodies on Letterman, 1985-1988' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-01-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'More Chris Elliott Goodies on Letterman, 1985-1988' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-01-13. Transcript available.

More Chris Elliott Goodies on Letterman, 1985-1988

The End
Today was, it was a little, well a little hot. It could have been just a little...
Hey, hey, hey. Let's not get so uptight about the weather, huh? There's no big
deal about the weather, huh?
Ah, yeah.
Just cool it on the weather a little bit. Let's take some deep breaths together.
One, two, three. Here we go.
Ah, and out. Ah, feel better?
Yeah, actually I feel a little lightheaded.
Yeah, I thought you would.
Yeah, okay. And by the way, who are you, sir?
Hey, look, names are just labels, man, and I don't give them.
Let's just say that I'll be around from time to time to make sure you keep
things cool, okay?
Okay. No, I certainly look forward to...
I got a yoga class.
Got a yoga class. Okay, fine.
Ladies and gentlemen, that was our own Chris Elliott with one of his running
characters.
Chris, come on over here, Chris, and take a bow. Chris Elliott.
Hi, Chris.
That was very exciting, Chris. Thank you very much.
It's Pierce.
It's Pierce.
Yeah.
It's not Chris?
No, the studio changed my name to Pierce when I came out here.
Oh, so it's Pierce Elliott.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But that was...
Now, what do you call this little character we saw here tonight?
This is called the laid-back guy.
Yeah.
It's my salute to California.
Yeah.
And how did you come up with this character?
Well, actually, he grew out of my observations of the differences between the
West Coast and the East Coast.
Yeah. And what are some of those differences?
It's more laid-back out here.
Yeah.
Although it would be hard to prove tonight, wouldn't it?
But like what?
What do you mean?
No, just tell me the differences.
Well, like in New York, for instance, after dinner, a husband might say,
Honey, how about another cup of coffee?
Right.
But out here, the husband would say, Honey, how about another divorce?
Thank you very much.
You know, Chris, this character seems to come to you fairly naturally.
Well, I really am that kind of guy.
I love it out here, and it's just...
I am the laid-back guy.
That's great.
And how many more appearances can we look forward to seeing?
Twelve.
Well, you know, I don't think that's possible, because we're only going to be
here four nights, actually.
Oh, no.
There must be some mistake.
They told me twelve appearances that I'd be making.
Yeah, but there's no way we can get twelve in.
We only have one hour each night for four nights.
Oh, so this is how it is in La La Land, huh?
No.
Oh, no.
This is the Hollywood day.
No, it has nothing to do with Hollywood.
It's just that we only have four shows.
One appearance.
Who do you think I am?
Lyle Wagner?
No, we don't.
We don't.
Well, let me tell you something.
There are other shows around here.
Maybe Merv would be a little more appreciative.
Okay, well...
All right.
Viewer Mail Night.
Oh, I've got to remind you of one other thing.
Look at this.
We have here a copy of the new Teen Beat magazine.
Have you seen this, Paul?
Yeah, I did see it earlier today, yeah.
Teen Beat magazine.
This is their newest issue.
January 1987.
Boy, they're way ahead of themselves.
$1.95.
And on the inside...
Take a look at this, if I can find it.
There it is, right there.
Now, this is insane.
We're very near the end of civilization, ladies and gentlemen.
Chris Elliott, Late Night Hunk.
In here, according to Chris, he was born May 31, 1967,
which would make him 19.
That means that when we hired him five years ago,
yes, he was 14.
Chris Elliott, a Late Night Hunk,
in the new issue of Teen Beat.
Hi there, and welcome back to the program, folks.
Coming up in this half hour, Bill Zanker.
That's Zanker.
Batting third, playing short, Zanker.
He will be here from the Learning Annex.
And also, Eddie Money and Ronnie Spector will be here.
Ladies and gentlemen, Chris Elliott.
Boy, this is quite a surprise.
Chris Elliott, ladies and gentlemen.
Nice to have you here, Chris.
That's great.
Boy, this is exciting.
Nice to see you.
Good to be able to drop by.
Nice to see you.
Hi, Paul.
How are you?
Chris.
Good to see you.
Nice to see you.
So, uh, what brings you here?
Why did you drop by?
No real reason, Dave.
I just thought I'd come by and spend some time with you and Paul.
I haven't seen you guys all day.
I thought it'd be fun.
That's great.
Now, that's great.
That's really nice of you.
And you know that it means a lot to me,
because usually when you come on, you're plugging something.
Oh, I know, no, no.
I have nothing to plug tonight.
You always think that, too.
No, no.
This is not for me.
I just wanted to spend some time with you guys.
Yeah, well, this is, I've got to tell you, this could be exciting.
In fact, why don't we have, Paul, come on over here and we'll visit the three
of us.
Oh, that's great.
The three of us.
We never, we never really get a chance to, that's cute, isn't it?
We never, we never get a chance to talk.
No, this is like the three musketeers.
Yeah.
Everyone wants to see us.
Yeah.
So, uh, what, what, uh, what do we talk about?
Whatever you guys want to talk about.
I'm open.
I'm open.
Whatever.
All right, I got a, I got a little story.
Oh, great.
Uh, Chris, you're, you're going to like this one.
I was, uh, I was out last night with, uh, some very, very heavy people, uh, in
our industry.
Yeah.
And I was, uh.
Excuse me, Paul, you know what that reminds me of?
Um, this morning, I, I checked my mail.
All right.
My subscription came for something called Teen Beat.
And I open it up, page 52.
There's a whole spread on yours truly.
I don't know what camera I should do this to, but Late Night Hunk.
Yeah.
Take a look at that.
Now, I see some great stuff in this.
Let me read you a couple of things.
Chris, excuse me just a second.
But, you know, I, I mentioned this at the beginning of the program.
I already mentioned that.
Oh, you've already, you've already done this.
So, everyone knows that it's coming out next week and it's $1.95 on the stands
next week?
Worth twice the price, too.
Yeah, I think so.
Well, great.
Well, I'm glad you did.
Okay, so, Paul, go ahead and finish the story.
Okay, I'm out last night and, uh, there were some very, very influential people.
Oh, my gosh.
Is that clock right?
Oh, geez.
Is that the right time?
Oh, my gosh.
What am I doing?
I'm sorry, Dave.
I don't have time for this.
I gotta get going.
Oh, geez.
I'm sorry.
Thanks a lot.
This was a lot of fun, though.
Yeah, nice to see you.
Hey, thanks, Paul.
See you later.
Yeah.
Not really much playing my favorite story.
You know, he's awfully proud of being the late-night hunk and all.
You can understand that.
How much does a press agent cost a press agent?
Well, you know what we could do?
We could do one of these top ten lists here.
Oh.
I guess we could.
Go ahead.
I'll just...
I'll...
Remember the first time you saw a chorus line?
Well, the faces on the line may have changed,
but one thing remains exactly the same.
The best musical then is the best musical now.
The best musical ever.
A chorus line on Broadway where it belongs.
You've got to see this show again.
Again, call 239-6200 for tickets.
Remember the first time you saw a chorus line?
Well, the faces may have changed, but one thing remains the same.
The best musical then is the best musical now and forever.
A chorus line on Broadway.
I need this truck, oh God, I need...
I need...
Now starring Teen Beat's Hunk of the Month, Chris Elliott.
A chorus line.
Now for...
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
Thank you, boys.
You know, we've been here in Las Vegas three or four days,
and what we're doing now, and for the rest of the time we're here,
we would like to keep track of the staff gambling losses.
So bring out the toad board, ladies, and let's see how we're doing.
The late night staff gambling losses.
There's the toad board.
Paul, can I have a drum roll, please?
The total to date, $1,500.
All right!
A little later, will you show me that walk?
I've noticed you have that walk.
You kind of come outside like a crab.
It's kind of like a crab, isn't it?
Yeah.
You know, Paul, would you find it was hot today here?
It's really hot in the desert today.
It's very hot.
It's very hot.
We're in the desert, and if you've never been out here, it's beautiful.
The surroundings are quite lovely, and it's that dry heat.
It's the dry heat.
So even if it gets to be 110, which it frequently does here,
the heat is dry.
110!
Dry heat!
My dog's in the car!
He'll fry!
Dry heat at 110!
I gotta get the hell out of here!
Get the hell out of my way!
I want my dog to die!
Ladies and gentlemen, from the Boylesque Review at the Silver Slipper Casino,
please welcome the amazing Skylark.
Skylark, ladies and gentlemen.
You and Rip Taylor are showing the same hair.
Right.
Nice to have you here, Skylark.
Thank you very much.
Oh, David Letterman, nice to have you and your whole crew out here.
Thank you.
We're having a great time.
Welcome to Las Vegas.
Thank you.
Paul, Paul, cha-cha-cha.
Nice to see you, Skylark.
Now, Skylark, tell us a little bit about the review down at the Slipper.
What do you do?
Right.
Well, I do.
I'm sorry.
I'm out of breath.
That's all right.
Running that whole way.
Uh-huh.
I do a little tribute, do a little tribute to one of the most beloved entertainers
in the
whole business, someone who's very familiar to your show here, to the fabulous
Chris Elliott.
Oh, I think that's great.
Now, if he was never born, there'd never be a Skylark.
Ew.
Now, so you're actually a Chris Elliott impersonator.
Now, how did you start doing this?
Well, actually, I started when I was very young, actually.
When I was about 12, I started dressing like Chris.
Uh-huh.
And was that a little disturbing to your parents?
Right, it was.
Well, you know, Skylark, the resemblance is uncanny.
You look just exactly exact.
Except for the eye makeup.
I'm not sure that's right.
Oh, well, I also do a tribute to Judy Garland.
Oh, I see.
It's sort of a two-in-one.
It's a two-in-one tribute.
I think you have a...
There I am.
Oh, yeah.
That's you.
Yeah.
You look fantastic.
That's just great.
And this is me without any makeup.
This will be it?
Yeah, that's me.
That's amazing.
Now, what was the hardest thing about learning how to do Chris Elliott?
Well, he has a very deep, guttural voice.
I had to learn that.
And also, his stomach was kind of difficult to get.
But I got that.
Well, you seem to have that right on the money.
Thank you.
Thank you very much for dropping by.
You'll be at the Silver Slipper through Labor Day or something, right?
I'll be at the Slipper, but also next weekend I'll be appearing at the Desert
Road Mall
as McGruff the Crime Dog.
Oh, I love that.
And you can see me there any time you want.
Thank you very much.
But, Dave, really, you should come down and see us at the Slipper.
I'd love to come down, but you know we're very busy here this week with the
show and so forth.
No, I'm serious.
You should come down and see us at the Slipper.
We'll see if we can't work that in, ladies and gentlemen.
Skylark, ladies and gentlemen.
Unbelievable.
Skylark.
Skylark.
Fever, Las Vegas.
Fever, Las Vegas.
Letter number three.
Oh.
You know, this show may not be in the best interest of television.
We may get a reprimand from the commissioner, Paul.
Number three.
Dear Dave, if you come to my town, you better bring Chris Elliott.
Got it or else.
Ralph Lewis, Las Vegas, Nevada.
Well, actually, Ralph, Chris Elliott is not with us here tonight,
but we do have something just as exciting.
It's a Chris Elliott impersonator.
Ladies and gentlemen, once again, from the Boylesque Review at the Silver Slipper,
the amazing Skylark.
Skylark.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Paul, give it to me.
Thank you.
Paul, give it to me.
Thank you.
Paul, give it to me.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Paul, give it to me.
That just keeps getting better and better.
Do something.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Very good.
Thank you.
I'm out of breath just from that.
Thank you for having me on the show, Dave.
I'm becoming kind of a regular here.
Yeah, I've been on twice.
Maybe I should come to New York and do the show there.
Well, no, in New York, the