Name: Biff at NBA Finals w/Brief Kobe Bryant Clip on Late Show, June 12, 2000
Uploaded: 2020-01-26T20:57:48.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Biff at NBA Finals w/Brief Kobe Bryant Clip on Late Show, June 12, 2000' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-01-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Biff at NBA Finals w/Brief Kobe Bryant Clip on Late Show, June 12, 2000' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-01-26. Transcript available.

Here's Biff Henderson. Come on out, Biff.
It's exciting. Boy, I'll tell you, you were out there in Los Angeles for the
first two games.
Did it look to you after those first two games that the Pacers had a chance?
I thought they had a chance. I still think they had a chance.
Yeah, but after the first two games, did you think they had a chance?
Well, they were in deep trouble.
They were in deep, deep trouble. It looks like they were going to get swept,
for God's sake.
And believe me, the guys on the Los Angeles Lakers said that that was their
plan.
Yeah, oh, sure, they wanted to sweep them.
Now, am I right? I'm on to something here with the Diane Cannon dazzling them
with her courtside beauty?
Oh, please. No doubt about that.
She's, she's, uh, she's nuts.
She's beautiful, though. They were dazzled by her courtside beauty.
Ah! That's her, that's her.
All afternoon at my house, a damn rodeo.
Oh, man.
I wouldn't give my troubles to a monkey on a rock. How about you?
No, I wouldn't either.
Oh, me neither.
No.
All right, so, Biff, now, you got a report for us on the NBA Finals?
Yes, from Los Angeles.
You enjoy doing this stuff?
Oh, yes.
Yeah, well, you do a nice job.
Well, I appreciate that. Thank you.
Here you go, Biff Henderson, ladies and gentlemen, from L.A., the NBA Finals.
Roll it.
This is Biff Henderson at the NBA Finals between the Indiana Pacers and the Los
Angeles Lakers.
Let's see what's going on.
If your team was stranded on a desert island, who would get eaten first?
Uh, Teron Luke.
He's the little guy that looks like a donut.
Teron, just one piece of advice, man.
Stay the hell away from Rick Fox. He's nuts.
I already know that.
Did anyone ever tell you that you look exactly like David Letterman?
No, I've never heard that one.
When is Phil Jackson going to shave that ridiculous beard?
Hopefully as soon as possible.
Dan, I'll give you $20 if you smack Bob Costas.
Make it $40 and you got to dance.
Let's see if Dustin Hoffman knows who the hell I am.
Do you know who the hell I am?
Yes.
Let's see if Tony Dancer knows who the hell I am.
You know who the hell I am?
Yeah, I know who you are.
Let's see if Penny Marshall knows who the hell I am.
Do you have any idea who I am?
No.
How many beers do you sell a night?
About 700.
And how many of those do you sell to Diane Cannon?
Shaq, you say go, Shaq, Shaq.
Can you do some trash talking for us in Italian?
In Italian?
Like, no sai come chocara pala canestro, fai schifo, sei un stupido pala canestro.
Are you trying to tell me I'm psycho?
Oh, no, I said you're a great player.
Aye.
You don't have a clue in that.
Dennis Rodman, do you miss playing basketball?
No.
I'm not Dennis Rodman.
Who's nuttier, Bob Knight or Diane Cannon?
When I say Lakers, you say go.
Go, okay.
Lakers go.
Lakers go.
You think Dawson's Creek and Ally McBill have some controversial kisses?
Check this out.
Dan, if Shaq's so great, how come he's not on the Harlem Globetrotters?
You don't know anything about basketball, do you?
There you go.
What do you think?
Do the Pacers have a chance?
I honestly...
You sleep last night?
I saw them last...
They looked great last night, didn't they?
They looked great, and I honestly think they do have a chance.
Oh, I hope so.
So they've got to win, like, all three at home, then go back and win one in L.A.
That'll do it.
You know, if the Lakers were smart, they would fly Diane Cannon in the Indianapolis,
put her right at courtside, and the boys would be hypnotized, and it would all
be over.
That would take care of it.
Beth Anderson, ladies and gentlemen.
We'll be right back here with tonight's Top 10.