Name: Randall "Tex" Cobb Collection on Letterman, 1982-87
Uploaded: 2020-02-09T00:34:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Randall "Tex" Cobb Collection on Letterman, 1982-87' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-02-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Randall "Tex" Cobb Collection on Letterman, 1982-87' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-02-09. Transcript available.

Randall "Tex" Cobb Collection on Letterman, 1982-87

We've got a good show for you here tonight.
A little later, Maverick reporter Sidney Zion will be here.
And we have surprises.
Two weeks ago, my first guest went 15 rounds against the great Larry Holmes for
the WBC title, heavyweight title.
Outside of the ring, he has earned a reputation as one of the brightest and
funniest boxers since Muhammad Ali.
Welcome, please.
Randall Tex Cobb.
Thanks for being here.
Do you come to New York often?
You've been here a lot?
No, I don't.
I try to steer clear here.
But you like it deep down inside, I'm guessing.
Oh, no, inside.
I hate it.
Now, you don't, you know, this is 10 days ago.
You look in pretty good shape.
You apparently weren't hurt too badly from the fight, huh?
Well, certainly reports of my death.
Yeah.
Did you see the videotape of the fight?
Yes, I did.
And now that you've had nearly two weeks to reflect on it, what do you think?
I'm not sure, but I think I lost.
If you were to fight Larry Holmes again, what would you do differently if you
would do anything differently?
Well, I would certainly do something different.
Bet your butt on that.
No, there's a lot of things.
Because I made several strategical, technical errors.
I very basically just had a bad night, you know.
I didn't get any of my offense to go.
My basics weren't looking good.
I wasn't executing correctly.
I made a lot of mistakes.
But I made them going forward.
And you went 15 rounds.
Was this where you must have been just exhausting, wasn't it?
Oh, well, it got my attention.
Was it during the fight or afterward, Howard Cosell, who was doing the ringside
commentary,
announced that he was never going to cover a heavyweight fight again.
Did you hear that?
Yes, I've heard that since the fight.
I didn't know it at the time.
Otherwise, I'd have had two parties.
Did you talk to Howard before the fight?
Yeah, we spoke briefly.
We spoke in an elevator.
And he told me that he thought it was exceptionally distasteful that he had to
work during the holidays
and stay away from his loved ones, his family.
I told him I could understand and appreciate his point of view.
I got the thank you note from his wife.
Did you visit a hypnotist before this fight, or have you ever gone to a hypnotist
outfit?
Yeah, I saw a boy, a boy by the name of Brian, out of Albuquerque, New Mexico.
Just Brian the hypnotist?
Brian Grodner is his name.
And what was the purpose of that?
Well, I thought it might possibly give me an edge on focusing and concentration,
things like that.
Those are really important aspects of the fight game, and the man that usually
maintains his concentration under the most direct or serious of negative
reinforcement.
That man usually does real well.
That man usually wins.
Were you able to use any of those techniques in the fight?
Oh, I could concentrate like hell.
I just couldn't fight that night.
Concentration, I had my mind right, I was dead ahead.
I knew this next right hand was just going to kill him.
I knew that.
Now, in all seriousness, do you think that if you were to fight him again, you
could do better than you did the first time?
Oh, hell, there's no doubt in my mind that I can beat the man.
I just, I had a bad night.
That's all it was.
It wasn't at all that he was so vastly superior to me that I, you know, didn't
need to shine the shoes or anything like that.
That's not the case.
The case is I just had a real bad night.
You know, those things happen, Chuck, so I ain't going to cry about that.
Yeah.
Is there a chance that there's going to be a rematch, do you think?
Larry told me unquestionably no.
So it's tough to be optimistic in what he says.
Well, it certainly is the kind of thing that doesn't promise well for the
future.
Did you get hurt physically?
I mean...
No, I've got the same sterling features that I started with.
Looked like a catcher's nut.
Yeah, here's the...
When was this taken, Randy?
Oh, that.
It does look cute, doesn't it?
Well, hell, he is a heavyweight champion, you know.
Larry's a very fine fighter.
He's got a good left hand.
You'll notice that there by my eye.
They're in my left eye.
Now, people are accustomed to the post-fight interview,
seeing boxers with the sunglasses,
and you did not choose to put them on, huh?
Hell, it was nighttime.
Yeah, that makes perfectly good sense.
Sure, nighttime.
Good heavens.
Now, what did you do right after the fight?
Same thing I always do after a fight.
I prayed, and I thanked the Lord that everybody got through it safe,
and I went out and partied.
Yeah.
What is the nature of the partying you were doing?
Hard, fast, and regular.
A lot of folks by yourself, just a few friends?
Oh, just a few friends.
I think it was limited to, I don't know, 50, 60 guys.
We sat down, laughed and lied, and carried on and had a good time.
Yeah.
Did the next day you feel the effects of the fight?
Uh, what are you talking about?
I mean, were you stiff?
Were you sore?
Were you, uh...
Oh, yeah.
Well, you know, you've got to expect some kind of lactic acid buildup.
You know, if you're going to sit around and play for 15 rounds,
you've got to expect some kind of joint discomfort,
some kind of muscle discomfort, stiffness the next day.
But overall, you feel pretty good.
Oh, hell, I feel fine, man.
There wasn't nothing serious about that stuff.
Now, you've also done the full contact karate,
ranked seventh in the world in that sport.
Yeah.
And you have done some time as a bouncer,
and a very colorful career, which we're going to get to here.
I don't get along with many people, David.
No, you're a very nice man.
I sense that you're a nice guy, aren't you?
I knew you'd say that, Dave.
Because I got within arm's reach.
We have to pause here.
We'll be right back to find out how nice a man he really is.
We'll be right back to him.
Randall's fine.
Randall, before the fight, there was, I guess in the newspaper,
Don King came to you, the promoter, right?
Yes.
And he said, I'm sorry, Randy,
for some reason you're going to get $200,000 less
than we originally decided you were going to get.
Now, what was that?
That was a cut in a day.
Based on what was the cut levied upon you?
Well, he had thought that possibly I should have been in there a few days
earlier
in accordance to the contract,
which I definitely did make some provision for,
as far as talking to the newsmen and trying to promote the fight and things
like this.
He cut my purse because of that.
I don't know why he cut Larry's purse.
Don King was just interested in making some money about like everybody else.
Now, what does that do to you going in,
knowing that you're going in for the purpose of not only hoping to get the
heavyweight title,
but also you're trying to make a pretty decent payday for yourself?
Does that affect you as a fighter going in?
Well, I don't think that realizing inside that possibly the promoter of the
fight
and the premier promoter of boxing is, you know, a lying, thieving, sleazebag,
something like that is not going to affect me personally.
I mean, hell, I got to fight.
Yeah.
Have you heard from Don since...
Don hadn't called.
Yeah, he'll be calling now.
I have a feeling now you get a call from Don.
Now, tell me about the full contact karate.
I've seen a little bit of it on television, but it looks awful.
Well, thank you, Dave.
Yeah, you've summarized a whole sport in one simple word.
I don't, but I'm from a spectator standpoint.
I can't imagine myself doing that.
I can't either, Dave.
I can't imagine.
I don't picture you there.
No, it's...
No, hell, fighting's fighting.
It ain't no big deal.
It's just so you expand the rules a bit and...
Now, what are the rules of full contact karate?
Last man standing.
The last man standing.
No, I'm just kidding.
This ain't no Hong Kong death match.
They don't let you do anything serious.
They don't let you elbow.
They don't take the gloves off.
Serious things, Dave, in a fight are things that are self-defensive or life-protecting.
Things like, you know, taking out a man's eyes, breaking his knees, turning his
throat.
Now, how many points do you get for that first one?
I don't know, but it's a favorite technique.
Not only of the going for the eyes, it's a favorite technique not only of the
karate people,
but the boxers are real good for that.
Well, using thumbs and so forth.
Now, you talked about...
We'll get back to the full contact karate in a second,
but you mentioned that Larry Holmes was good with his thumbs.
What does that mean?
Well, that means that he's a heavyweight champion,
and as a result, he's going to use everything that he can use to do it.
And believe me, this is not...
Larry Holmes has not cornered the market on using thumbs.
I've said and seen some real masters of the thumb punch.
Well, show me what you're talking about, but don't really do it, of course.
Of course not.
These are just demonstrations for the kids at home.
Now, if you want to thumb your little brother,
pretend like you're punching him like this.
And when you get there, pull your thumb out, and stick it in his eye.
No further than, say, maybe about the second socket ought to work.
For you kids at home, that's right about to here.
You know, when you did that, it was like an eclipse.
A shadow just came right over here.
Well, this would be interesting.
But now, you're not saying that Larry does that on purpose.
It's more his boxing style, that he just got his thumbs up, right?
Or are you saying he does it on purpose?
I'm saying that anybody can accidentally thumb you.
Yeah.
Now, when you get thumbed in the ring,
does it ever go through your mind,
well, I'll retaliate with a maneuver that would be a foul?
Well, not really,
because that's just another way to break your concentration,
whether he hits you low,
or whether he elbows you,
or butt you, or thumbs you,
anything like that,
talks to you,
any number of different ways.
But what he's doing is he's breaking your concentration,
if he's effective.
Now, personally,
if I was going to open up the rules,
I wouldn't thumb somebody in the eye.
I'd break his knees.
We're going to just pause here for station identification.
We'll be right back,
Tex Cobb and I,
and, of course,
Sidney Zion.
Come on back.
Well, hello,
and welcome back to the program.
Randall Tex Cobb is here tomorrow night.
This will be interesting and exciting, both.
Comedian Bob Nelson and musician Iggy Pop.
That's tomorrow night,
ladies and gentlemen.
Let me,
well, let's go back to the full contact karate.
For people who have never seen it,
just describe it,
what the sport is,
what's legal,
what's not legal.
It's basically an idea
where you're taking karate
and you're putting pads on your feet
and your hands
and you're limiting yourself to,
again,
pretty much the punching out
of the boxing technique
and you're opening up the rules
and letting people kick each other
in the head
and shoulders
and lower parts of the thorax
and just,
you know,
it's just actually boxing
except that you're using your feet
and you're kicking as well as boxing.
Yeah.
The kind of question
that comes up about this stuff,
could Larry Holmes,
being the best in his profession,
beat the best in this other sport?
Well,
I don't know that Larry Holmes could.
I don't know that he could
and Larry Holmes very probably
could tear his head off
if he caught him right,
you know,
because boxers are very efficient,
very effective punchers
and they have a really good understanding
of combat.
Right now,
the sport of full contact karate
and kickboxing as it was,
is going through a real change,
you're going through
a real metamorphosis
and I think they're going to be
every bit as competitive
as the boxers in time to come.
Do you ever see it catching on
like Little League Baseball?
I don't really know.
Dave,
I hadn't thought about it quite in that context.
Of course,
it'd be hell to fight in those little caps.
Yeah,
I suppose that's true.
Now,
you,
tell me about being a bouncer.
Is that,
it can't be,
how did you get started
becoming a bouncer?
Well,
I think it was due to my
incredible educ