Name: Chris Elliott Films Collection on Late Show, 1993-94
Uploaded: 2020-02-11T20:33:42.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chris Elliott Films Collection on Late Show, 1993-94' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-02-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chris Elliott Films Collection on Late Show, 1993-94' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-02-11. Transcript available.

Chris Elliott Films Collection on Late Show, 1993-94

"CBS Orchestra," ladies and gentlemen. Hi, nice to see you. Welcome back to the
big program.
Cindy Crawford will be out here a bit later. Also, Natalie Cole with the band
and her own band and a wonderful song from her new CD. Tomorrow on the show,
George Foreman. He's a professional fighter, you know. Ray Charles and Inkses
will be here and act... I'm sorry, that's NXS.
Another fine show for us tomorrow. Oh, there's nothing wrong with tonight's
show. By the way, if I were you and I'm sitting at home watching that Marv
Albert and he lies about being able to sneeze on command, I'd write the FCC and
get him bounced off the air.
Our next guest is an old friend who will be appearing on this program monthly
to present a short film of his own making. Here with the first installment,
ladies and gentlemen, please welcome back, Chris Elliott.
Great!
Thank you.
Well, I guess this is better than what you had. Yeah, it's nice, isn't it? It's
bigger.
Bigger, bigger. Yeah.
I guess we all want bigger things these days. Yeah, sure.
Yeah, sure.
I guess this is better than what you had. Yeah, it's nice, isn't it? It's
bigger, bigger. Yeah.
I guess we all want bigger things these days. Yeah, sure.
It's so '80s. Welcome back to the show. Thank you for being here.
Thank you for being here. Yeah, it's nice, isn't it?
Yeah, it's so '80s. It's so '80s. It's so '80s.
Well, I guess this is better than what you had. Yeah, it's nice, isn't it? It's
bigger, bigger. I guess we all want bigger things these days. Yeah, sure.
It's so '80s. Welcome back to the show. Thank you for being here.
Well, thank you very much. I see you brought all the coconuts with you. You've
got Doc over there.
No, that's not Doc.
Good to see you. Yeah.
Where's Gelman?
There's no Gelman involved. Now, earlier today up in the office, you were
telling me that you, too, can do something on command, but I don't think we
want to get in that.
No. No, not at all. No, we don't.
That's not something... Well, I mean, the way the show's been going...
Oh, now, come on. How have you been?
Well, I've been pretty good. Listen, can I ask you one thing?
Yes, please.
That has been bothering me since the inception of this show. The old show, and
I'm not going to mention the network. I'm not going to get into that.
NBC?
Great.
That went off the air in June, did it not? June-ish. And then this thing, this
Huckleberry that you got going here, came on...
August 30th.
August 30th.
Like 10 weeks later.
August 30th.
What the hell did you do for money?
You could have called me.
No, I was fine. But thank you for thinking of me.
Well, if that happens again...
Chris, we're very excited because you're going to bring us now, from time to
time, original films that you've made.
Yes, I am, if that's okay with you.
Yeah, tell us about the first one tonight.
Well, and you're dear to bring that up.
This one that I have tonight is a special one. I know you know this. Some years
back, I was in a little Broadway show called Housewives.
Oh, that's right.
Which, yeah, it was a little...
The musical, wasn't it?
Steven Sondheim show, kind of a tribute to the American Housewife.
Right.
Sort of followed the life, a day in the life of a suburban housewife.
Right, and what part did you play in that?
That was the title role.
Is that right?
And what we did was we did a cast album to the musical.
I didn't realize that.
And this is kind of a little documentary behind the scenes of the making.
So this is the making of the cast album from the musical Housewives.
Yeah, pretty much so.
All right, here we go. It's a film from our friend Chris Elliott.
Go ahead, Hal.
Bella Senora.
Bella Senora.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my brain is saying carrot sticks, but my heart is saying cheesecake.
Oh.
Bella Senora.
I should. I will.
So sing when you're in the forest day.
I'll sing every rose in the forest day.
Oh, my God is happy at your estate.
Such a beautiful.
It's a beautiful day for love.
Sweet potato pie.
Bye.
That was good.
I think we can get out right before Chris's little ad lib there.
Otherwise, that was great, kids.
Thank you very much.
We'll give a big one to each other and that's that.
We're going to move on to Chris's solo.
It's showtime.
They were playing three hours of Liza this morning on the Make Believe Ballroom.
I did not want to get up.
And she talks on the phone.
And she watches her soaps.
What kind of a life would you want?
What the hell is he doing?
Would you want?
Chris?
What?
Chris?
You know what?
Let's try that again, all right?
I am getting something I cannot identify.
It's like a jabbering, yammering, like a, like a, like maybe an air traffic.
Yeah, I think that's the orchestra playback, Chris.
I need to die.
No, cut it.
Roll it.
Ha!
Ha!
No, cut it.
And she feels all alone.
But she knows how to cope.
She's a suburban housewife.
And they ain't giving out any trophies for it, kids.
All right.
You gotta go when you...
What?
Steven.
Steven.
Do I just stink out there?
Is that what's going on?
Am I just Stinko?
Stinksville?
USA?
I mean, is it, is it Lysolville time out there?
Give me something.
I, I think you're tired.
You think I'm tired?
I think your voice sounds a little tired.
Uh-huh.
And I think maybe we should bring it down a half step.
No, no, no.
We are not bringing it down, Steven, a half step.
We can sing this damn ditty every night with that key.
And that's what we're gonna sing it in.
We're gonna do it.
And fellas, this one's gonna be...
Whee!
Bananas!
Come on.
Let's all get in on it.
Cause she's got a bun in the womb.
And her hand's on the damn broom.
Boom!
Perfecto.
Doesn't get any better than that.
You want another one?
Call the witch doctor.
Not me.
You're the lady of the house.
But really, she's a glorified mouse.
She could say...
Hey, would you watch it with that thing?
Poke you right back.
How do you like that?
You don't like the poking, do you?
Chris!
You been drinking?
I thought...
You...
You mean recently?
Well, I...
I haven't had a drink in six years.
That's the...
Most...
Unbelief...
Okay, you know, you people are incredible.
I'm not even gonna dignify that with a response.
I mean...
Come on, welcome to Salem in the 1600s.
I mean...
Let's just call that a wrap.
Let's call that a wrap, folks.
Oh, Steven, now come on, wait.
Sorry, bright and early tomorrow morning.
Steven, I have an idea.
We haven't done this one yet.
I think we're a little tired.
I can do this.
How about that for an idea?
We send you kudos galore.
And one day...
God will link...
You'll mark...
The floor...
No more...
You're a wonderful talent.
Thank you.
Nice to see you, Chris.
Thank you very much.
We'll see you next month.
Chris Elliott, ladies and gentlemen.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
Sidney Crocker.
You're a wonderful talent.
Nice to see you, Chris.
Thank you very much.
We'll see you next month.
Chris Elliott, ladies and gentlemen.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
Yes, sir.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
Yes, sir.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
We're back with Sidney Crocker.
Now he's in all sorts of hot water with the Donald.
So it occurred to me, though, I worked with you in the same offices for, I don't
know,
something like 10 years.
10, 12 years.
That's right.
And, well, they say confession is good for the soul.
So I brought your shoes back.
You were stealing my shoes?
You left them around.
Styles certainly have changed.
You know, I've been looking for these.
There you go.
Here's some more.
I don't know if you can see those.
Oh, man.
It's like seeing an old friend after all these years.
That's a nice look, isn't it?
I feel much better.
Yeah.
Those were my favorites.
But I enjoyed them all.
The whole family enjoyed them.
I don't know why you have these.
I don't want to go into that.
But I never wore them, but I did enjoy them.
Well, that's good.
You figure that one out.
But there you go.
Your shoes are back.
How was your Thanksgiving?
Thanksgiving.
Not good.
Thanksgiving was not good.
Well, you know, evidently there's this new law.
You're not allowed to sleep naked in a bus station.
And, you know, God forbid you have a few drinks before you do that, too.
You say that's a new law?
It's a new law.
I guess 1984 is really here now.
Big brother's watching us.
I feel like Mr. Rogers now.
Why don't you tell us about the film that you've made for us here?
My film.
I'm sorry.
I have a terrible cold.
My film, yes.
This is a...
Thank you, by the 