Name: Tributes to David Letterman, Part 30 of 31: Tom Hanks 1984, 2015
Uploaded: 2020-03-12T18:48:14.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tributes to David Letterman, Part 30 of 31: Tom Hanks 1984, 2015' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-03-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tributes to David Letterman, Part 30 of 31: Tom Hanks 1984, 2015' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-03-12. Transcript available.

Tributes to David Letterman, Part 30 of 31: Tom Hanks 1984, 2015

Okay.
I apparently misdialed the ticket office, but I'm serious.
If you have tickets for tomorrow night's show, you better come early or no cigars.
I'm awfully sorry about it.
Once only.
That's the only time we're going to do it.
My first guest, actually my second or third guest tonight, depending on how you
score the first bit and then buddy,
is a very talented actor who starred in a TV series called Bosom Buddies
and is currently starring in the runaway smash hit film of the decade, Splash.
Please welcome Tom Hanks.
Now, that's great.
That's got to make you feel terrific.
These folks are really...
Buddy Hackett coming in like that?
You bet.
That was the godfather of soul comes in, sits down.
I thought, that's it, boy.
It's a 90-minute special.
You thought you were not going to be on the show, huh?
Me and the nurses, we had a date.
We were going down to Lindy's.
That's an interesting sight, isn't it?
Seeing about six or seven nurses clustered together there.
It's like the St. Patrick's Day parade.
Hey, look!
Oh, whoa!
Hey!
Roosevelt's, yeah!
Hey, great!
Oh, here comes Lennox Hills!
Yeah, it's okay.
This is, uh...
This movie is really...
This movie is really big-time stuff, isn't it?
Uh, as you check your business page, yeah.
Wall Street Journal.
But they're saying that it's, uh...
It's saved Disney motion pictures?
Is that the deal?
Well, no.
It's saved.
It's...
It's a bit...
I think Pete's Dragon pretty much did that for them.
It's...
It's a...
So this is just gravy, then, huh?
To say that it's saved Disney Studios.
They're a very cash-rich organization.
Yeah.
You know, if one of their movies loses money,
they just, like, take ten minutes worth of revenues from their parks
and say, ah, we gotta cover it.
Don't worry about it.
So, but it's, uh...
They made $82 million today.
What's the big deal?
But it, uh, really pumped new life into it.
Yeah, they did.
Well, it was, you know, it was very nice.
They had a nice hands-off attitude towards us while we were making it.
You know, we just kind of showed up, and they gave us the money.
Now, when you were doing this film, is this your first film?
No.
What was your first film?
My first film was originally titled The Uninvited.
When I started making it, it was called Blood Wedding.
After we made it, it was called Shriek.
And by the time it made the theaters, it was called He Knows You're Alone.
And it's an epic motion picture.
Orson Welles was involved for a few weeks.
He dropped out.
But, uh...
Was he involved in a directorial capacity?
He was a caterer.
The man's a legend.
Now, the movie was actually released.
It's called He Knows You're Alone.
He Knows You're Alone.
And I played the know-it-all love interest who comes in and pooh-poos the idea
that this
woman is actually being hounded by a killer.
Yeah.
And I had three days on it.
They said, Tom, thanks a lot.
And about a month later, I'm walking just down 7th Avenue.
And I bump into the producers of the film.
Tells you something about the producers.
They walk on 7th Avenue.
And they said, Tom, Tom, oh, jeez, we're going to bring you back.
We're going to have you killed.
We ran out of money.
I'm sorry.
I said, Joe, for you, I would have come in and had my head severed or anything.
It would have been a freebie, Joe.
You should have given me a call.
I'm happy to.
Did the film do any business at all?
It did business for about three days.
They released it in every other theater in America, hoping to get a big weekend
out of
it.
They got a big Saturday.
And it was gone.
I saw it in Glendale, California.
And swear to God, at the end of the movie, the audience was yelling, getter,
getter.
And Glendale is not a tough town.
No, it's not.
It's a bunch of cream puffs down there, you know?
Used car salesmen and the like.
Well, this is great.
Now, the Bosom Buddies.
Now, how long was this show on ABC?
It was on two sagas, as we called it.
Two seasons.
Now, was that, are you happy now that you don't have to mess around with
putting on
women's clothing and taking it off and putting it on?
We were on, of course, long before Tootsie ever came around.
That's right.
We instigated the whole Tootsie groundswell that came about.
Now, had we stayed on the air, of course, the gentleman at the ABC, the
American Broadcasting,
or Al's Broadcasting Company, most people don't realize.
It's Al's Broadcasting Company?
A guy named Al owns the place.
I didn't realize that, no.
He drives up and says, this is my company, Al's Broadcasting Company.
Now, had they kept us on for just another half a season, of course, they could
have cashed
in on this whole thing.
Oh, sure.
And I know, any minute now, we're going to get the call from the executives.
They're going to apologize.
They'll say, Tom, I'm sorry.
I don't know how it happened.
It was a breakdown in communication, a scheduling problem.
I'm sure that we'd love to have you back, and they'll offer us big bucks, and
we'll say
no.
Yeah.
So, good for you.
We got to go away for station identification.
We'll be back.
More with Mr. Tom Hay.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thanks, Paul.
Hi, there.
Tom Hanks is here.
Now, tomorrow on this program, actor Stephanie Zimbalist.
Do you know Stephanie Zimbalist?
No, I do not.
Lovely woman.
She will be here.
Also, comedian Larry Miller, and Dr. Richard Brandt.
I know him.
Fun with rockets with Dr. Brandt and viewer mail.
Later in this half-hour, Jersey Kosinski will be here.
Gene Beckwith is here to blow those smoke bubbles, and we have a nurse's
uniform fashion show.
It's a, wow, what a show.
Ba-ba-ba-boom.
That's right.
And also, tomorrow night, if you have tickets for the show, I know you don't
believe me,
but if you come here at the regular time, the place will be a ghost town.
So, try and get here a little early.
Now, let's take a look at some of the film.
Oh, no.
Splash.
No.
I've seen it, and if we release one more clip, every scene from the movie will
have
been released to talk shows.
So, there can be, like, a pirate video made of the film, and Disney loses, like,
millions
of dollars in video cassette rentals, so let's not and just forget it and pay
five bucks,
okay?
Now, let me get this right.
You're worried that people, via these shows, will piece together all of the
clips and have
their own version of the movie at home.
That's right, Dave, yes.
Okay.
Now, I know we have a clip, don't we?
We have one here.
Yes.
Is it a good clip?
Is it funny?
Is it representational of this man's fine work?
Yes.
All right.
Now, do you want to see it or not?
No, I don't.
I've seen the movie, I've seen the clips eight million times.
Merv beat you to the punch in the first place, so let's just forget about it.
Oh, he did, did he?
But did he have the woman blowing smoke bubbles?
I don't think so.
Now, Tom, you really don't want to see the clip?
I do not want to see the clip.
Okay, then at least tell us what we would have seen in the clip.
Oh, wacky stuff.
Show the clip.
It's in a car.
Oh, wait a minute.
Ladies and gentlemen, let me point out that this is a free country.
If this man doesn't want to show the clip, he's certainly in no way obligated
to show the clip.
Now, let's talk about the filming of the movie.
Have I just lost them for some reason?
Oh, no, no, no.
No, you're still beloved in their eyes.
Tell me about the making of the movie.
Or do you not even want to talk about it?
No, no, the making of the movie was fine.
A lot of it was done underwater, wasn't it?
A substantial amount of it was done underwater.
What kind of problem does that present for the actors?
Well, living, like surviving, is a problem for the actors.
We had what were called toe shots, which consisted of a boat dragging me
underwater to make it seem as though we're jetting through effortlessly as we
swim off to Nirvana.
Now, originally, about 82 of these shots were scheduled to be in the film.
They ended up using one, but that didn't stop them from shooting the other 81
that were necessary.
As long as they get the boat, why not?
As long as they get the one.
Now, this consisted of me putting on a body harness under my clothes.
They attached a monofilament line to me via the body harness, which ran through
a pulley and then up to the surface, which was connected to a boat.
And then at 18 signals, boom, the boat would take off.
I would be dragged underwater and would be, looks as though I'm flying.
Sure.
Not unlike Superman.
Now, we were doing this many times.
We're finally headed down to clockwork.
Everybody was very safe.
The last day of shooting, we moved to a different location and had Clarence,
the new boat driver.
Clarence was the kind of guy, when he came over to get his boxed lunch, he
forgot to tie up his boat.
And we're eating our lunch, we say, uh, Clarence, oh, my boat!
And he had to dive in and swim after his boat, which was by then like 30 miles
away, with a tiny boat in a speck on the horizon.
Well, we have to hold our breaths, and you feel all sorts of tugs.
You get the feeling, okay, I'm being pulled now, trying to let go of the
regulator, breathe, good, now look like you're swimming, act, be wonderful, we're
swimming to paradise.
As we zip over to our safety divers, who pop it into our mouths, and we can
breathe again under these two atoms.
It's a very big thing.
Well, when Clarence, the first time Clarence did it, we got the signal, I feel
myself slowly being pulled.
Out comes the regulator, and I'm getting ready to pick up speed, and we don't,
and we're just, by then, I'm out of range.
I realize I have about three and a half miles to go to the other air tank, and
it's not going to happen.
Now, this was the signal for, I'm out of air, to the other safety divers that
were down there.
The next day in dailies, we saw a shot of a rock underwater that was there for
like three and a half minutes,
until finally my head comes around going.
The bruises are still healing from my chest.
I broke three ribs.
It was okay.
I'm all right, and there will be no lawsuits.
Well, good.
The movie's making some bucks.
I think you have a nice attitude about all of this.
Well, I want to work, and I want to continue, and anything beats going back to
the post.
Well, congratulations on this terrific success.
Thank you.
This is great for you.
Thank you very much.
You're a very funny gentleman.
Nice to meet you, Tom.
Nice to meet you.
Tom Hanks, folks.
We'll be back with Gene Beckwith.
Thank you.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, it doesn't get any better than this.
Our first guest is a two-time Academy Award winner and one of the biggest movie
stars on the planet.
Please welcome the extremely talented, the always entertaining, America's
sweetheart, Tom Hanks.
Tom, come on.
Thank you., thank you.
Thank you., thank you.
Thank you very much.
Much like, I'm just like you.
I'm just like you.
You know, Dave.
Is that what it is?
Dave, there has been, there has been a line.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I'm just like you.
There has been a line of two-time Oscar winners outside this theater for the
last month and a half.
Yeah, we've been very lucky.
Hoping that there'll be room on these two counts.
Very, very lucky.
And thank you because I know you're busy right now working on a film.
Yes.
On another continent.
I flew in from a time zone so far away, Dave, it has a money that I can't
pronounce.
Yes.
Now, I happen to know that you're working with your good friend, Ron Howard.
Ron Howard.
And he's a pivotal part as the director in giving stage instructions as you do
the film.
Because a lot of it will be CGI and editing.
Computer generated.
Ron, this is the fifth time I've worked with Ron.
It's another Robert Langdon in Da Vinci Code thriller called Inferno.
All right.
Give us a taste.
Okay.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I'm not, but I'm not, I'm not, I'm not plugging my future films, Dave.
No.
We'll leave that to those other lesser shows in the future.
Oh, you can do anything you like.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anything you like.
All right.
No, I'm not ragging on anybody.
But Ron, Ron, this is the third one.
And Ron is a genius.
