Name: Tributes to David Letterman, Part 1 of 31: Chris Elliott 1982, 2015
Uploaded: 2020-04-21T20:22:37.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tributes to David Letterman, Part 1 of 31: Chris Elliott 1982, 2015' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tributes to David Letterman, Part 1 of 31: Chris Elliott 1982, 2015' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-21. Transcript available.

I've got to tell you, let me just take this opportunity to apologize to
countless millions
of viewers of this program last night who were cheated out of one of the
classic comedy
bits, well according to the New York Times they said, of the 1900s.
Last night, because of a dastardly computer failure, Americans in the eastern
two-third region
of this country missed an epic comedy classic.
We don't have time to recreate the whole thing for you.
Briefly, I'll just show you what you missed.
Come on in here, Eric.
It was about how to survive in New York City and things you could do to protect
yourself.
And so this was an additional kung fu arm that you put right in your suit.
And say you were walking down the street and you were eating a sandwich with
one hand
and maybe combing your hair with another hand and you're attacked by ne'er-do-wells
and
thugs, you just do that.
People, people, thank you very much, Eric.
People, people said to me that they laughed so hard, they laughed so hard their
sides were
actually aching from that one.
Now, this is how we paid the piece off.
Now, you didn't get to see this because of a computer, a computer mistake.
And what is your name, sir?
Chris Elliott.
Chris Elliott.
And you're a staff member with Late Night?
Late Night with David Letterman.
Yes, sir, Chris.
And how long yesterday were you in this costume preparing for your network
television debut?
With fittings, rehearsals, about four, four and a half hours.
Four, four and a half hours.
And you were never seen by North Americans, were you?
Never seen.
Cut off.
Yeah.
A lot of disappointment at home, huh, Chris?
Very much so.
A lot of friends disappointed, too.
What were you, what were you made up to be, Chris?
What were you going to be?
Garbage.
Going to be garbage last night.
And, Chris, how was that going to go?
Basically, I was going to come out like this and just stand here like this.
Yeah.
And, and after the show, Chris, what did members of the studio audience say to
you?
They said it was the funniest thing they've seen in North America.
Unbelievable, isn't it?
Ladies and gentlemen, you did not get to see this at home because of a computer
malfunction.
Thank you very much, Mr. Chris Elliott.
We've known our next guest for a long, long time, and he's one of our favorites
around here.
Really, really, I've always said this, the funniest man on television.
He saw us in a new series entitled Schitt's Creek.
Ah.
That's right.
Schitt's Creek, ladies and gentlemen.
How are you going to lose another title like that?
Schitt's Creek.
Get out of here.
Let me just say it one more time.
Schitt's Creek.
It premieres tomorrow night at 10 p.m. on Pop TV.
Chris Elliott, everybody.
Come on in.
It gets you.
You look terrific.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
That's nice.
So do you.
You look great also.
What are you doing?
You're lifting weights?
You're dieting?
No, I'm lifting weights.
I'm dieting.
I'm doing all of that.
You look fantastic.
Thank you.
So do you.
You look the same as you looked when I first started working with you.
No, that's not true.
But it's always...
Doesn't quite pass the smell test with me.
Yeah.
But no, it looks great.
How have you been, Chris?
I've been good.
You know, just before I came out here, I heard you intro me, and it occurred to
me that you
and I, we started together, I don't know, like 30 years ago, over 30 years ago.
We were both young.
We both had dreams, and we had stars in our eyes, maybe, and we both, you know,
kept plugging
away and climbing that ladder there, and I think we've done pretty darn good.
I mean, look at you.
I mean, you're about to leave here.
You know, you're a television icon, adored by billions, and yeah, exactly.
Thank you.
Well, thank you.
It's nice of you to say that.
Sure.
And I'm on the pop network with a show called Schitt's Creek.
So I, I think we, we both achieved our dreams.
Oh, yeah.
Which is really, it's, the work speaks for itself.
It really does.
You have an enviable body of work.
Absolutely.
Tell us about the show.
I'm excited.
The show, I'm actually very proud of the show.
Because you and Eugene Levy and Eugene's son, I believe.
Dan Levy and Eugene created it, and Catherine O'Hara and Eugene Levy are in it.
What a funny group of people.
Paul's buddies.
Really funny.
Yeah, Paul's buddies and heroes of mine.
It's a show about a very rich family that loses everything, and they have to
move.
They can only afford to live in this small town that the father, played by
Eugene Levy,
had bought as a joke for his son many years earlier.
And the town is called Schitt's Creek, and I play the mayor, Roland Schitt.
Yeah.
Where, where did they film the program?
Actually, up in Toronto.
Is that right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, and that was fun.
And in addition to the new television program on, I want to restate this, on
Pop TV.
On the Pop Network.
Yeah, Pop Network.
You're in a film.
Yeah, it's a big, it's Hugh Grant.
Hugh Grant.
Yeah, yeah.
How was that?
Was it fun?
It was, well, I always find things to complain about wherever I work, and, uh,
no, he was,
he was, he was great to work with, you know, but I, no, I'll tell you, he did
become kind
of a pain in the ass, because, well, you know me, you know, after a day of
shooting, I like
to kind of get all dressed up and, you know, go out, put on my, you know, you
know, my,
my pork pie hat.
I'm sorry, your, your pork pie hat?
Pork pie hat is what I put on.
You don't know what that is?
No.
Okay, Dave, crack a book every now and then, okay?
Oh my God, there's a whole other world out there besides your Montana hot tub.
I'll look that up.
Anyway, I would like to go, I used to, you know, go out to the bars after I
would shoot,
and, and, you know, Hugh was always like, can I go too?
And, and, you know, so we'd go to the bars, and, you know, of, of, of course
the, you
know, ladies would all swarm around me, and, and then I, I get this, you know,
tug on my
elbow, and I turn around, and it's just, little Hugh Grant, and he's going, I
have to introduce
this little guy.
Oh, thanks, Hugh Grant.
Hi, I'm little Hugh Grant.
Hi, how are you?
Stupid.
Baby.
Hi, I'm little Hugh Grant.
Yeah, that's, that's his opening line.
That's what, that's what he would say.
But I realized he was just using me to get laid.
Yeah.
So that was his whole thing.
That's too bad.
I want to show this picture of, uh, you and, uh, Eugene.
Oh my God, I thought, here are the two funniest people.
Oh yeah, there we are.
There you put them, uh, that's it.
That's all you need right there.
That's me, Eugene, and his eyebrows.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Uh.
Now, are those eyebrows, uh, special effects?
They, you know, they have a mind of their own.
They really do.
Just like, and, uh, and they kind of upstage you every now and then.
They just kind of go off and just start, you know, doing this thing, and you're
like,
what the hell is going on with your eyebrows?
And it's like, I can't stop that.
We'll move it.
Uh, but anyway, I, you know, Dave, I, I know we need to wrap this up, but I
want to say
this now.
Um, you, this actually is, uh, my last appearance with you on, I know that you
were aware of that.
Are you not feeling well?
No, but I, I really doubt I'll have anything to plug before you're off the air
again.
But, um, but, uh.
Well, that's, that's touching.
Yeah, so this is it.
But, uh, and I honestly, sort of, personally wish you would reconsider this.
Um, don't we think this is premature?
Okay, I'll think it over.
I'll think it over.
No, you've got at least, all right, that's enough.
Yeah, that's, yeah.
It's not, I mean, you know, I think you've got at least two or three years
before you start
getting goofy like Regis Philbin, you know?
And that's, that's the fun stuff.
That's what we wanted to see, you know?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
When I get a little naughty.
You know, America loves a train wreck, you know?
And that would be, I miss that.
But, no, no, I, I wish you luck.
I know it's going to be a, uh, a big change for you.
And, uh.
Now, what, are you, any advice for a guy who's retired?
Well, if you need any help in the old, uh, sitting around the house with the
old lady doing
absolutely nothing all day department, yeah, I'm perfectly happy to help you
with that.
Yeah, sure, no, I'm an expert in that department.
Uh, no, you're going to, you're going to do great.
And I do, actually, with the audience here, do want to just say thank you
sincerely for
everything.
You, this man, you can edit this out, I don't care, gave me my start in the
business.
And, uh, you have been my biggest supporter.
You have been my, uh, mentor.
I have learned so much from you.
I met my wife at, uh, through you.
I, I have two beautiful children, um, thanks to that.
And, um, everything that I have is thanks to you.
Well, you're way too generous.
It's absolutely true.
You're the funniest, funniest man I've ever worked with.
And I'm going to miss you.
And, uh, sorry, I'm, I'm, I've got the Boehner disease here.
But, uh, I am going to miss you.
Well, thank you, Al.
Thank you.
I hope to see you from time to time.
Okay, so that's all I have to sing.
Do you have a...
But there is something I would like to sing.
Oh, you have a song.
Yeah, if you want.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Is that all right, Paul?
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Chris, no, that would be great.
Those schoolgirl days of biting nails and telling tales are gone, but in my
mind, I'm
a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Today, with love.
Thank you.
Thank you, Chris.
Thanks a lot.
That was awful.
We'll be right back with Brianna Giddens.

Tributes to David Letterman, Part 1 of 31: Chris Elliott 1982, 2015

I've got to tell you, let me just take this opportunity to apologize to
countless millions
of viewers of this program last night who were cheated out of one of the
classic comedy
bits, well according to the New York Times they said, of the 1900s.
Last night, because of a dastardly computer failure, Americans in the eastern
two-third region
of this country missed an epic comedy classic.
We don't have time to recreate the whole thing for you.
Briefly, I'll just show you what you missed.
Come on in here, Eric.
It was about how to survive in New York City and things you could do to protect
yourself.
And so this was an additional kung fu arm that you put right in your suit.
And say you were walking down the street and you were eating a sandwich with
one hand
and maybe combing your hair with another hand and you're attacked by ne'er-do-wells
and
thugs, you just do that.
People, people, thank you very much, Eric.
People, people said to me that they laughed so hard, they laughed so hard their
sides were
actually aching from that one.
Now, this is how we paid the piece off.
Now, you didn't get to see this because of a computer, a computer mistake.
And what is your name, sir?
Chris Elliott.
Chris Elliott.
And you're a staff member with Late Night?
Late Night with David Letterman.
Yes, sir, Chris.
And how long yesterday were you in this costume preparing for your network
television debut?
With fittings, rehearsals, about four, four and a half hours.
Four, four and a half hours.
And you were never seen by North Americans, were you?
Never seen.
Cut off.
Yeah.
A lot of disappointment at home, huh, Chris?
Very much so.
A lot of friends disappointed, too.
What were you, what were you made up to be, Chris?
What were you going to be?
Garbage.
Going to be garbage last night.
And, Chris, how was that going to go?
Basically, I was going to come out like this and just stand here like this.
Yeah.
And, and after the show, Chris, what did members of the studio audience say to
you?
They said it was the funniest thing they've seen in North America.
Unbelievable, isn't it?
Ladies and gentlemen, you did not get to see this at home because of a computer
malfunction.
Thank you very much, Mr. Chris Elliott.
We've known our next guest for a long, long time, and he's one of our favorites
around here.
Really, really, I've always said this, the funniest man on television.
He saw us in a new series entitled Schitt's Creek.
Ah.
That's right.
Schitt's Creek, ladies and gentlemen.
How are you going to lose another title like that?
Schitt's Creek.
Get out of here.
Let me just say it one more time.
Schitt's Creek.
It premieres tomorrow night at 10 p.m. on Pop TV.
Chris Elliott, everybody.
Come on in.
It gets you.
You look terrific.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
That's nice.
So do you.
You look great also.
What are you doing?
You're lifting weights?
You're dieting?
No, I'm lifting weights.
I'm dieting.
I'm doing all of that.
You look fantastic.
Thank you.
So do you.
You look the same as you looked when I first started working with you.
No, that's not true.
But it's always...
Doesn't quite pass the smell test with me.
Yeah.
But no, it looks great.
How have you been, Chris?
I've been good.
You know, just before I came out here, I heard you intro me, and it occurred to
me that you
and I, we started together, I don't know, like 30 years ago, over 30 years ago.
We were both young.
We both had dreams, and we had stars in our eyes, maybe, and we both, you know,
kept plugging
away and climbing that ladder there, and I think we've done pretty darn good.
I mean, look at you.
I mean, you're about to leave here.
You know, you're a television icon, adored by billions, and yeah, exactly.
Thank you.
Well, thank you.
It's nice of you to say that.
Sure.
And I'm on the pop network with a show called Schitt's Creek.
So I, I think we, we both achieved our dreams.
Oh, yeah.
Which is really, it's, the work speaks for itself.
It really does.
You have an enviable body of work.
Absolutely.
Tell us about the show.
I'm excited.
The show, I'm actually very proud of the show.
Because you and Eugene Levy and Eugene's son, I believe.
Dan Levy and Eugene created it, and Catherine O'Hara and Eugene Levy are in it.
What a funny group of people.
Paul's buddies.
Really funny.
Yeah, Paul's buddies and heroes of mine.
It's a show about a very rich family that loses everything, and they have to
move.
They can only afford to live in this small town that the father, played by
Eugene Levy,
had bought as a joke for his son many years earlier.
And the town is called Schitt's Creek, and I play the mayor, Roland Schitt.
Yeah.
Where, where did they film the program?
Actually, up in Toronto.
Is that right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, and that was fun.
And in addition to the new television program on, I want to restate this, on
Pop TV.
On the Pop Network.
Yeah, Pop Network.
You're in a film.
Yeah, it's a big, it's Hugh Grant.
Hugh Grant.
Yeah, yeah.
How was that?
Was it fun?
It was, well, I always find things to complain about wherever I work, and, uh,
no, he was,
he was, he was great to work with, you know, but I, no, I'll tell you, he did
become kind
of a pain in the ass, because, well, you know me, you know, after a day of
shooting, I like
to kind of get all dressed up and, you know, go out, put on my, you know, you
know, my,
my pork pie hat.
I'm sorry, your, your pork pie hat?
Pork pie hat is what I put on.
You don't know what that is?
No.
Okay, Dave, crack a book every now and then, okay?
Oh my God, there's a whole other world out there besides your Montana hot tub.
I'll look that up.
Anyway, I would like to go, I used to, you know, go out to the bars after I
would shoot,
and, and, you know, Hugh was always like, can I go too?
And, and, you know, so we'd go to the bars, and, you know, of, of, of course
the, you
know, ladies would all swarm around me, and, and then I, I get this, you know,
tug on my
elbow, and I turn around, and it's just, little Hugh Grant, and he's going, I
have to introduce
this little guy.
Oh, thanks, Hugh Grant.
Hi, I'm little Hugh Grant.
Hi, how are you?
Stupid.
Baby.
Hi, I'm little Hugh Grant.
Yeah, that's, that's his opening line.
That's what, that's what he would say.
But I realized he was just using me to get laid.
Yeah.
So that was his whole thing.
That's too bad.
I want to show this picture of, uh, you and, uh, Eugene.
Oh my God, I thought, here are the two funniest people.
Oh yeah, there we are.
There you put them, uh, that's it.
That's all you need right there.
That's me, Eugene, and his eyebrows.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Uh.
Now, are those eyebrows, uh, special effects?
They, you know, they have a mind of their own.
They really do.
Just like, and, uh, and they kind of upstage you every now and then.
They just kind of go off and just start, you know, doing this thing, and you're
like,
what the hell is going on with your eyebrows?
And it's like, I can't stop that.
We'll move it.
Uh, but anyway, I, you know, Dave, I, I know we need to wrap this up, but I
want to say
this now.
Um, you, this actually is, uh, my last appearance with you on, I know that you
were aware of that.
Are you not feeling well?
No, but I, I really doubt I'll have anything to plug before you're off the air
again.
But, um, but, uh.
Well, that's, that's touching.
Yeah, so this is it.
But, uh, and I honestly, sort of, personally wish you would reconsider this.
Um, don't we think this is premature?
Okay, I'll think it over.
I'll think it over.
No, you've got at least, all right, that's enough.
Yeah, that's, yeah.
It's not, I mean, you know, I think you've got at least two or three years
before you start
getting goofy like Regis Philbin, you know?
And that's, that's the fun stuff.
That's what we wanted to see, you know?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
When I get a little naughty.
You know, America loves a train wreck, you know?
And that would be, I miss that.
But, no, no, I, I wish you luck.
I know it's going to be a, uh, a big change for you.
And, uh.
Now, what, are you, any advice for a guy who's retired?
Well, if you need any help in the old, uh, sitting around the house with the
old lady doing
absolutely nothing all day department, yeah, I'm perfectly happy to help you
with that.
Yeah, sure, no, I'm an expert in that department.
Uh, no, you're going to, you're going to do great.
And I do, actually, with the audience here, do want to just say thank you
sincerely for
everything.
You, this man, you can edit this out, I don't care, gave me my start in the
business.
And, uh, you have been my biggest supporter.
You have been my, uh, mentor.
I have learned so much from you.
I met my wife at, uh, through you.
I, I have two beautiful children, um, thanks to that.
And, um, everything that I have is thanks to you.
Well, you're way too generous.
It's absolutely true.
You're the funniest, funniest man I've ever worked with.
And I'm going to miss you.
And, uh, sorry, I'm, I'm, I've got the Boehner disease here.
But, uh, I am going to miss you.
Well, thank you, Al.
Thank you.
I hope to see you from time to time.
Okay, so that's all I have to sing.
Do you have a...
But there is something I would like to sing.
Oh, you have a song.
Yeah, if you want.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Is that all right, Paul?
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Chris, no, that would be great.
Those schoolgirl days of biting nails and telling tales are gone, but in my
mind, I'm
a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
Oh, he's got a song, Paul.
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