Name: Sly Stone on Letterman, February 21, 1983 (expanded)
Uploaded: 2020-04-25T20:21:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Sly Stone on Letterman, February 21, 1983 (expanded)' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Sly Stone on Letterman, February 21, 1983 (expanded)' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-25. Transcript available.

- That's the Hall of Presidents.
We'll be right back with Sly Stone.
We'll be right back with Sly Stone.
We'll be right back with Sly Stone.
I'll be right back with Sly Stone.
I'll be right back with Sly Stone.
I'll be right back with Sly Stone.
I'll be right back with Sly Stone.
I'll be right back with Sly Stone.
We'll be right back with Sly Stone.
I'll be right back with Sly Stone.
We'll be right back with Sly Stone.
We'll be right back with Sly Stone.
We'll be right back with Sly Stone.
We'll be right back with Sly Stone.
We'll be right back with Sly Stone.
We'll be right back with Sly Stone.
We'll be right back with Sly Stone.
We'll be right back with Sly Stone.
We'll be right back with Sly Stone.
We'll be right back with Sly Stone.
We'll be right back with Sly Stone.
We'll be right back with Sly Stone.
We'll be right back with Sly Stone.
We'll be right back with Sly Stone.
We'll be right back with Sly Stone.
We'll be right back with Sly Stone.
Sly Stone.
Sly Stone.
Sly Stone.
Sly Stone.
Sly Stone.
Sly Stone.
Sly Stone.
Thank you, gentlemen.
Thank you.
During the commercial, we were, of course, joined by the Martin Van Buren animatron.
And Calvin Coolidge, that animatron, and Martin Van Buren did a duet.
Uh, animatron.
No, no.
Animatron.
Hiram.
Hiram.
The medication, perhaps, affecting your hearing.
I'm very excited about my first guest tonight.
In the late '60s, he started making music that sounded like no one else's, and
that remains
a major influence on American music today.
He also became one of the most controversial figures in the world of
entertainment.
We're delighted that he's here tonight.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Sly Stone.
Nice to see you, sir.
Thank you very much for being here.
We're very excited about this, and I appreciate you coming by.
Uh, yeah, I'm sorry.
I know, that's all right.
You haven't performed much in the last couple of years?
About nine years I've been retired.
Yeah, nine years.
That's a long time.
And first of all, why did you retire?
Well, I got tired.
Uh-huh.
So I retired.
You retired.
Yeah, I thought about that, and that's the only way I can say it.
Uh-huh.
And then I got tired of being retired, so I'm working.
Yeah.
Now, what happened, what was the one or two reasons that caused you to be tired
of being
retired?
I mean, that's everybody's dream to just, you know.
Well, I needed attention and money, and I need to do songs.
Yeah.
I have songs.
I've been blessed to be able to play, and I was encouraged by my mom, mainly,
to kind of
not take advantage of my being able to relate to music and to be able to play
it.
Yeah.
If I didn't, it felt like a lack of contribution to society.
Are you going to be recording again soon, or are you working for the--
I'm going to make some hit records.
Make some hit records.
Those are the kind to make, by the way.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know all about that.
Now, where are you working now?
If people wanted to see, is this a complete tour of the country?
Are you just working here and there, or what?
Well, yeah.
I got some guys in Chicago that I'm calling the One-Eyed Jacks.
Mm-hmm.
Well, mainly because that's what they called themselves before I met them.
And they're a good group.
Yeah.
And as a matter of fact, Jack wanted me to give his phone number out.
Can I do that?
Yeah, I can.
That's all right.
Can Sly give Jack's phone number out?
If somebody wants to book the group.
Sure.
This man over there, the producer, says he can't be done.
But then again, you know.
Okay.
No, I don't know.
See, I think the problem is Jack might get all kinds of crank phone calls.
No, that's okay.
Jack's prepared for it.
Well, then.
I'm telling you the truth.
Then go ahead.
I mean, okay.
I know it's fine.
I know what you're saying.
All right, go ahead.
I don't know what's going to become of this.
It's going to be okay.
Okay.
It's in Chicago.
Mm-hmm.
The number is 776-7626.
You see, we're organizing a production company and a promotion company.
When we first started playing, we would play and sometimes I'd have to pay a
bond in case I was late.
And that happened two or three times in a row.
Now, let me ask you about that.
Now that you've got the phone number out of the way, what's the area code there
in Chicago?
The area code is 3-1-what?
3-0-5?
No, 3.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And ask for Jack.
The number is 776.
3-1-2.
I think just call Chicago Information and ask for Jack.
No.
Okay.
And look, these guys want work.
Okay.
Now, let me ask you.
You brought up the fact that occasionally you would show up late or not at all.
Now, is that over?
I mean, why did that happen?
Well, when I first started, I came from college and I'd practiced discipline
for so long.
Yeah.
And when I started being late, I couldn't make all the gigs is what happened.
Yeah.
It seemed that there's no way to make all the gigs when you're playing three
places in one
night and you only know about one.
Yeah.
Now, did that hurt you, do you think?
Well, sure, it hurt me.
Yeah.
And mainly it hurt the people.
You see what I forgot?
You know, I'd have to pay money to, you know, and if I didn't show up, they'd
keep $20,000,
supposedly.
Yeah.
Well, and then I'd go to the city.
The place would be sold out and they'd trick me, man, because they knew I was
kind of a person.
I was kind of, you know, kind of high-strung a bit.
And so, you know, and they'd say things like, "Sly, if you're late tonight, you'll
never play in this city again."
And my natural response at the time from impetuous youthfulness, I would say, "Well,
you know, but I..."
But that's in the past.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, but I forgot about the kids and the audience.
The men spent their last $12 or so.
But now if you schedule a date, you're going to show up.
I've made the last one.
I've been playing small clubs, about $125.
I've not missed one.
I will not be late.
There's nothing that can make me be late.
If the money is strange, I'll let the people in free.
You paid, you played for 27 people during the blizzard up in High Yard Sport.
Yeah, just because, you know.
Well, that's good.
And you're going to play here tonight.
We've got a pause for a commercial.
We'll be back.
Thanks guys.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
THE CHARGES HAVE BEEN DROPPED.
OF COURSE.
YOU WANT TO MENTION WHAT THE CHARGES WERE OR NOT?
I'M NOT SURE.
EVERYTHING WAS LEGAL.
EXCEPT THERE WAS A HEADLIGHT OUT.
AND WE WERE IN A VAN THAT HAD WEIRD REGISTRATION, WEIRD WHATEVER, THE TAGS ON
THE CAR.
NOT MY VAN, NOT MY NOTHING IN THERE.
BUT I HAPPENED TO BE IN THERE AND SOMEBODY RECOGNIZED ME.
AND PEOPLE HAVE GOTTEN THE HABIT OF TRYING TO CORNER ME WITH SOMETHING ILLEGAL,
AND SO FAR IT JUST DIDN'T HAPPEN.
BUT I'M GLAD THAT THEY ATTACKED ME BECAUSE I DON'T FOOL AROUND.
BUT IT'S NICE NOW THAT YOU'RE MAKING AN EFFORT TO GET BACK INTO THE SWING OF THINGS
THAT THAT WAS DROPPED.
YEAH, THEY DROPPED CHARGES AND ON AND ON AND ON.
BUT I DON'T BLAME THEM.
I HAVE A REPUTATION FOR NOT SHOWING UP, BUT THAT REPUTATION WILL BE ALL OVER AS
SOON AS THIS NEXT RECORD COMES OUT.
AND PEOPLE FIND OUT THAT I MAKE EVERYTHING.
I'M HERE AT THIS SHOW, AND I'D LIKE TO HAVE TO BE SOMEWHERE TOMORROW, THE NEXT
DAY, AND THE NEXT DAY IN PLANN.
YOU WERE NOT ONLY HERE.
YOU WERE HERE EARLY AND WELL-DRESSED AND COURTEOUS.
LET ME ASK YOU ANOTHER QUESTION THAT MAY BE A LITTLE EMBARRASSING, MAYBE NOT.
IT WAS PRESENTED TO ME AS BEING AT ONE TIME A POPULAR RUMOR THAT YOU WERE ROMANTICALLY
INVOLVED, OR DATING, OR WHATEVER YOU DO, WITH DORIS DAY.
BUT DID YOU HEAR THE WAY OF THOSE...
SEE, THAT'S WHAT I MEAN.
IF SOMEBODY SAYS MARIJUANA, THEY'LL POINT RIGHT TO ME.
IT MAKES ME HORSE.
I TRIED IT BEFORE.
I DON'T LIKE IT.
BUT NO, BUT...
I KNOW.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING, THOUGH?
THOSE KIND OF RUMORS START.
OKAY.
NOW, HAVE YOU HEARD THIS RUMOR?
SURE.
I KNOW THE LADY.
SHE'S A GREAT LADY.
I MET THE LADY THROUGH HER SON, TERRY.
TERRY IS IN THE MUSIC BUSINESS, ISN'T HE?
RIGHT.
SHE'S JUST A NICE LADY.
THAT'S ALL.
I WOULDN'T DATE THAT LADY.
I'M TOO AFRAID.
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
NOW, TELL ME ABOUT YOUR...
BLACK FOLKS GOT TO BE COOL.
THEY...
THEY...
THEY...
ARE YOU STILL RACING CARS?
YEAH.
I'M GOING TO GET A JIGGER NEXT.
YOU NEVER HEARD OF A JIGGER?
YEAH.
THE GUY THAT DESIGNED THE JIGGER, HE ALSO DESIGNED THE SPACEMOBILE FOR THE MOON.
SO...
BUT YOU DID...
DIDN'T YOU USE TO DRIVE VERY FAST IN AUTOMOBILES?
I STILL DO.
WHEN I HAVE THE ROOM, YOU KNOW, IT'S ALL SAFE.
YEAH.
ALL RIGHT.
OKAY.
I TELL YOU, IN THE NEXT SEGMENT...
WANT TO RACE?
NO, NO, NO, NO.
SLY AND I WILL RETURN.
WE HAVE A FINE PROGRAM YET TO COME.
AND HE WILL BE PERFORMING ON THIS VERY SHOW.
RIGHT AFTER STAFF, WE HAVE A LOCATION.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you, Paul.
Welcome back to the program, ladies and gentlemen.
Here on this show tonight, from the king of comedy, actress Sandra Bernhardt
will be joining us.
And probably the reason you waited in line all day.
You'll meet writer-crime fighter George Meyer on this program.
Also, tomorrow night from the Bowery Boys, I'm sorry, the Dead End Kids, actor
Hunts Hall.
And also comedian Bill Maher and stupid Petrix.
But right now, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Sly Stone singing, If You Want Me to
Stay.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I am here with me to stay. I'll be around today. It'll be a better one for you
to see. I'm about to go and you know you want me to stay.
You got to be me. You'll never be in doubt. That's what it's all about. You can't
take me back to rent it and smile. There's a breeze I'm gone. I got to be to me
by phone. Because I promise I'll be gone for a while.
When we could see me again. You have been the kind of person you really are now.
You got to get it straight. How could I ever be late? You're my woman taking up
my time.
I'm never laughing as I was. I'm getting out of my pocket. I'm fine now. When
you know that you're never number two. Number one. Gonna be number one. I am. I'll
be good.
I am. I'll be good. One more time. I am. I'll be good. I wish I could. I'll
pass it. No, I'll go. No.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank you.
You're going to do another one later in the show.
Sly will be back.
We've got to go away for a commercial.
Sandra Bernhardt will be here.
Very nice.
Nicely done, sir.
Thank you very much.
I want to thank everybody who is here tonight.
Tomorrow night, Hunts Hall will be here, Bill Maher and Stupid Petricks.
Ladies and gentlemen, once again, Sly Stone.
One, two, one, two, eight, four.
I want to take you higher.
I want to take you higher.
I want to take you higher.
Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, I'm a fire.
I want to take you higher.
The music's nitty-gritty.
The music's nitty-gritty.
The music's nitty-gritty.
The music's nitty-gritty.
The music's nitty-gritty.
The music's nitty-gritty.
The music's nitty-gritty.
The music's nitty-gritty.
The music's nitty-gritty.
I want to take you higher.
The music's nitty-gritty.
The music's nitty-gritty.