Name: Handwriting Analysis Remote on Late Show, December 17, 1993
Uploaded: 2020-05-06T03:07:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Handwriting Analysis Remote on Late Show, December 17, 1993' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-05-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Handwriting Analysis Remote on Late Show, December 17, 1993' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-05-06. Transcript available.

Welcome back to the program, ladies and gentlemen.
Woo!
I want you people at home right now
to have a lovely holiday season.
Oh, look at that.
Harry Connick Jr. will be out here in a couple of minutes, folks.
You know, ever since we've been on the air here at CBS,
once a week we gather up our remote videotape crew unit
and we go out on a little excursion.
Then we bring back the videotape and we edit together
and we put it on the air here every Friday night
because we like to show folks here in the audience and around the country
little activities and things that we do.
So this one activity that you're about to see tonight,
a couple of weeks ago, we went around to have my handwriting analyzed.
Went to a variety of handwriting analysts to see Grapho and Nala,
something like that, and just to see what we could come up with.
And sometimes, I'm telling you folks, sometimes these things work great.
And sometimes they just get kind of strange and don't really sort of work at
all.
I'm not telling you how this one turned out.
Oh, and the other thing to keep in mind while you're watching this,
it was such a lovely day a couple of weeks ago here in New York City
that I slipped into a pair of shorts.
Just keep that in mind.
So here we go.
We went around the city and visited a different handwriting analyst.
So roll that videotape, Al.
What does this D say to you right there?
The D?
Yeah, Dear Ruth.
What does it say, D?
Well, it's a very original D that shows that you're very creative.
Where are you from, Ruth?
Israel.
Yeah.
When did you come to the United States?
Three years ago.
As a small girl.
That's right.
Very small.
Here's Bill Keen, the cartoonist who draws Family Circus.
You see his signature right there?
What can you tell us about Bill Keen?
Very tight.
Yeah, okay.
Let's read the comment.
Tight.
So I ran all the way, dot, dot, dot, and my breath, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot,
dot, dot,
is all out.
It's so funny.
It's all...
Oh.
Oh.
This big hand lighting.
I suppose an average graphologist would say, oh my God, what an egomaniac.
I don't perceive it that way.
I perceive it as somebody who just loves life and wants to express himself.
Do you find yourself drawn to me now?
You'd like to spend some time with me?
You'd like to spend the rest of the day with me?
You'd like to have dinner with me?
Well, I'm not sure what you're getting at.
Well, I'm not sure what you're getting at.
I think it might be, and I could know.
This is the signature of a woman named Ruth Brayer, who was another graphologist.
Just take a look at her signature and see what you can tell us about her.
She has some kind of a psychological problem.
Sheila has an older sample of my handwriting, and then a current sample of my
handwriting.
You know, it's almost seven years ago to the day, isn't it?
That's right.
Isn't that odd?
That's a coincidence for you.
I'll see you, see you, see you.
Yeah.
Ow!
What happened?
It's a damn paper cut.
Oh, jeez.
Oh, I don't believe it.
Oh, my God, those are the very worst in paper cuts.
The other hand, Ronnie Alice, tell me the truth.
Did you for a second think I'd cut myself?
Oh.
Oh!
Woo!
That's the key right there.
I ran all the way, dot, dot, dot, and my dot, dot, dot, breath, dot, dot, dot,
is all out.
Right.
He cracks me up, he goes, look at him.
Yeah.
I don't understand.
I, you know.
I don't know.
Inside, you are not so friendly, because there are so many hooks here.
You see here?
I speak fluent German, by the way.
Well, I don't believe it.
No, I do.
Haben Sie ein Glas Milch getrunken?
Where are the mirrors?
And then you got over there that looks like an outboard motor.
What is that?
Yeah.
It's like an old 75 horse Merc cruiser.
It's very good for your hips, but you don't need it.
All right.
So let's try that.
Let's go for a ride on that.
Yeah.
Can you hook it up and give it a try?
And so, oh, this is funny.
It makes him so fresh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't think this, no, this is, I don't, I don't think this is a good idea.
I didn't, ah, ah, ah.
Yes, sir.
Well, there you have it.
We're going to do another commercial.
We'll be right back here with Harry Connick Jr.
Thank you.