Name: "White or Dark Turkey" with Hugh Downs on Letterman, November 17, 1998
Uploaded: 2020-07-02T20:48:43.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '"White or Dark Turkey" with Hugh Downs on Letterman, November 17, 1998' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '"White or Dark Turkey" with Hugh Downs on Letterman, November 17, 1998' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-02. Transcript available.

I have something planned now because it's the holiday season and during the
holidays people love the turkey people eat turkey all of the time so we put
together a little game and the name of the game is called a white or dark
turkey
it's called white or dark turkey here we go Paul take it away
you know to help us play the game white or dark turkey say hello to the amazing
Crescon tonight we're gonna play a long time David yeah I know and eat a lot of
turkey at Thanksgiving I love it now what is your favorite you like the white
turkey I prefer the dark prefer very much so yeah I myself I would have to say
I
think I like them both equally well I can't I couldn't say which I like the
best you know when it comes to eating turkey at Thanksgiving I'll take the
whole damn thing I'll take the entire package well Crescon the reason you're
here tonight I'd like to know the reason we're going to we're going to be
placing
a call to a to a celebrity and we're going to chat with them you can chat with
them you and I will chat and during that conversation I want you with your
psychic
powers now you're you're a mentalist you're not a mind reader thought reader
you're not a you're not a mystic you're not a you're not a gypsy you're a
thought
reader you're a thought reader uh-huh you're not a magician no no I read
thoughts you you read thoughts this is after a nasty fall in the tub as a youth
well actually I was pushed but that's all right okay I can certainly understand
that now Crescon after you talk to our celebrity we're going to ask you to if
you can mentally determine whether the celebrity we're talking to prefers the
the
white turkey at Thanksgiving or the dark turkey at Thanksgiving you write it
down on
your magic Crescon notepad there yeah I'll fold it up and hand it to our guard
standing
right over there okay it will be sealed it will be sealed in his suitcase right
there for how long
well until we find out from the celebrity we're talking to if in fact you're
correct well then we'll
then ask the celebrity this is within the next 24 hours we're going to find out
how the celebrity
oh no the next two or three minutes oh my god next two or three minutes if you
keep your mouth shut
David I have to breathe I know just okay okay here we go now it's time to call
the celebrity who will
be playing white or dark meat I haven't spoken to the slip no no you haven't
arranged I've not arranged
anything you have no confederates you didn't meet earlier at the hotel did not
meet okay here we go
okay we're going to be calling the celebrity but I can talk to the celebrity I
can recognize this
person David what would I recognize who this person yeah that's the nature of
celebrity hello uh I'd
like to speak to Hugh Downs please yeah speaking ladies and gentlemen Hugh Downs
on the right
you first of all thank you very much for uh taking time out of your busy
schedule to chat with us
here this evening how how are you you're doing your show now that's right we're
we're doing a little bit
of a show yeah kind of I'm fine how are you good how's uh Barbara and all your
friends over there at
uh ABC they're just fine yeah uh Hugh have you had a chance to listen to the
Monica Lewinsky tape
who who could avoid that I have yeah what what do you think of those Hugh I don't
I have I I refuse
to form an opinion of this because I guess I'm super saturated with it yeah
okay hang on a second
send them off start again no no no no we come on we don't have that much tape
it's the kind of thing
you'll see Monday night on the anniversary show ladies uh Hugh uh you know uh
Thanksgiving is right
around the corner and and I hope that you have a big uh pleasant day uh lined
up with you your family
and your friends is that kind of thing inside thank you yeah we're looking
forward to have a
whole house full of relatives all right that'd be good and we have the
traditional Thanksgiving dinner
uh you betcha uh-huh and that would that would include probably the the cranberry
sauce the the
stuffing and a and a turkey and the pumpkin pie all as you say traditional
right yeah all all the
term is Kreskin oh by the way Hugh Kreskin is here did you know Kreskin was
here no is he there yes I
am good to talk to you okay it's a brief conversation when was the last time
you two met oh it's been a
years that's been a while back yeah I remember you guys were were uh in the Rat
Pack Auxiliary weren't
you no no no that Pack Auxiliary yeah they were in the Auxiliary yeah extended
Rat Pack yeah that's
right oh my god I tell you uh Kreskin would you would you like to ask you any
questions you uh uh
as a matter of fact we you had no idea where we're going to do some kind of
test together did
you no one explained anything to you no what what's up well you're you're gonna
do it they're gonna do
I'm gonna do a little of an experiment this is not a mind-boggling one it'll
boggle David's mind but
the rest of us feel that the percentages are pretty even I'll tell you all
right you know you're
not gonna by the way Hugh Kreskin Kreskin is wearing a ruffled pink shirt
okay very nice you don't you don't mind that's you do you listen David has come
up with the most
wildest kind of wildest because only this show would come up with something
like this he wants me are
you ready to make your prediction do you ready yeah but do I have to cut do
that something have
happened okay oh you got somebody on the uh well let me go somebody on the
other line let me talk to
that person it might be better than what we're doing now somebody else will get
a wrong number I'll
take anything Hugh whatever you got over there I'll tell you who it is to save
your time all right
you're right you write down your thing all right okay what we wanted can I tell
them what we're
gonna try no no no no no no no no no you just you just gotta know I'm gonna
have to put you on hold
again Hugh hang on okay okay all right go ahead and write it down now folks if
you thought I would
ever walk out here and do something so simple as to write whether he's gonna
name dark meat and white
meat this is gonna blow their minds David whisper in my ear what you think no
whisper what you think
I'm not gonna whisper I'm not just where I'm not whispering no I'm not gonna
whisper you sit down
I'm not gonna whisper I want to get your opinion I'm not gonna tell you my
opinion you just sit right
down David I want to know what your opinion is don't make any I'll tell you
after the show you're just I
would like to I would like to get a guess from you no no I'm not gonna guess
write it down I'm no
mentalist I know you're not I all right just write it no you're not just once
couldn't we do it my way
Creston no no no way on the face of the earth we'll do it my way you down tears
on hold you can't even
whisper to me I will not tell you what you said all right you all right you're
working alone here
because I know you'll trick me no I won't some kind of a stunt and then that'll
compromise the
experiment no and then you'll blame me if you're wrong that's what I intended
to do that's what I
intended to do will you tell more of a magenta really than a no it is not no no
no no no no
no no no no can I show you what I wrote no no no no no no why can't I you seal
it up and then we
bring in the bring in the guard come on over here come right up all right you
have a firearm on you
now will you tell me what you would have decided no no no is this we're gonna
put the whole pad
yeah okay that's okay seal it up you go stand right over there we'll let you
know no we're late
we're going back to Hugh now cut it out hi Hugh we're back okay okay it's time
now and uh what
we're trying to determine we just need from you the answer to the question at
holiday time Thanksgiving
Christmas what have you when you're enjoying turkey which do you prefer the
white meat of the turkey or the
dark meat of the turkey uh the dark meat definitely okay God bless you Hugh
thank you very much we're
gonna put you on hold again okay dark meat wait a minute bring the I feel right
over here around
Creston okay and just for the fun of it whisper something in his ear why not
come over here he
just wants he's desperate for somebody to whisper in his ear pardon me which
would you have named David
I told you I don't have a preference okay let's open it up here now ladies and
gentlemen
Creston predicted Hugh Downs Hugh Downs said he prefers the dark meat Creston
has said
thank you very much Hugh nice chatting with you say hello to our friends at ABC
have a happy holiday
season we'll do it okay bye bye Hugh Downs said by the way Dave by the way Dave
by the way Dave
come back maybe try it again all right all right that's how we play white or
dark turkey
thanks for what I intended to do with you I know the segment's over
that's what I intended to do is have you name right exactly just as I predicted
you're blaming this on
no no no no no no no thank you thank you we'll be right back with tonight's top
10 list and Will Smith