Name: Regis Philbin Ambushes David Letterman, December 27, 1983 (audio fixed)
Uploaded: 2020-07-25T23:11:39.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Regis Philbin Ambushes David Letterman, December 27, 1983 (audio fixed)' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-25. Transcript available. From a video previously blocked.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Regis Philbin Ambushes David Letterman, December 27, 1983 (audio fixed)' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-25. Transcript available. From a video previously blocked.

Okay, here at NBC, David Letterman's show has just wrapped up.
You know how tough it is to get him.
You know what a recluse he is.
He should be walking out any minute.
Yes! Yes!
I don't have to talk to him.
It's an NBC reunion!
No, you must talk to me!
No, no, wait a minute!
No, please!
No, no, you're done.
Please, I want to...
Please, Mr. Letterman!
There he is.
Nice to see you, David.
Nice to see you.
Now, I'm upstairs attending the NBC...
By the way, Regis, come on in.
Yes.
Come on, close the door and let's have a heart-to-heart.
Now, let's talk it out.
Sit right down and talk to me.
Come on, be nice.
This is going to be fun.
This is my staff, my crew.
This is an American crew?
Yes, well, some people think so.
How'd the show go tonight?
Uh, just great.
Was it a biggie?
Yeah, yeah, this was...
You know, as soon as the tape stopped rolling,
we got a phone call from the Broadcasting Museum
and they said,
we're coming over to pick up the master.
So, it was that kind of show.
That good, huh?
Yeah.
Who'd you have on?
Uh, we had...
Wait a minute.
Look at these.
Look at this.
These are my totes.
These are my totes.
You know, it's raining like heck out.
Wait a minute.
You want to laugh.
These are what he's going to wear home tonight.
Yeah, but these...
No, these are souvenirs.
We give these to the audience members.
But look at this.
You're actually wearing rubber shoes.
I'm wearing rubber totes.
Here's a man, an adult, got a family, responsibilities,
and he's wearing rubber shoes.
To preserve my health.
Don't you understand?
Now, let's talk about your guests.
Just because you can't think of them, don't push it off on me.
No, we had...
Who was on your show tonight?
We had, uh, on the show tonight,
the first guest out was, uh, Bob Arno.
Bob Arno?
Bob Arno.
And, uh...
Who is Bob?
Bob Arno is, uh, uh, he's a pickpocket expert.
Oh, I've heard of him, yes.
Okay, and then?
He came out and he did that hilarious thing
where he took my tie off and grabbed my wallet.
Yeah, it's always good.
And how many times is Bob going to do that on television?
Oh, but, you know, it was great.
We had to, actually had to stop taping
while the audience, they said their sides were aching.
They had never laughed quite as hard as they did
when Bob and I got into it.
And, let's see, then after that,
we had some of our pages.
Oh, really?
Handsome, lovely, talented young men and women here.
Doing what?
Uh, well, they're trying to eke out a living
on the subsistence wage that NBC pays them as pages.
So, you know, they had interesting stories
about living in boxes and, uh, under cars and so forth.
So, we talked to them for a few minutes.
Good for you, that's nice.
And then we sent Nancy McKenzie up to, uh,
the eighth floor where the big party is.
Yeah.
And, uh, she brought back a picture of you,
among others.
Oh, that's right.
You and Gene Rayburn and, uh...
All the biggies are up there tonight.
And, uh, after that, Janie Frickey.
No kidding.
Yeah, very, very big, uh,
hot.
They still say hot?
Yeah, sure, sure.
She's hot.
A hot, uh, country western singer.
Well, you had a good show.
Now, listen.
So, you're finished.
You walk off.
You change into your Levi's.
And what happens to you then?
Oop, the wallet.
Uh, we have to read, Jess.
Didn't mean to.
We're gonna be in here dusting for prints
when you're done.
Let me ask you something.
Yeah.
What happens to you now?
I'll go upstairs.
There'll be a brief, uh, fist fight.
And then, uh, I'll go home.
Usually, do you have dinner in New York
and then get on that train?
No, no.
Last night, Paul Schaefer and I
and his, uh, lovely, uh, girlfriend,
Kathy Vasopoli.
Say that.
It's fun.
Kathy, Cassie?
Kathy Vasopoli.
Vasopoli.
And the news.
And, and we all went out to dinner.
Uh, uh, Merrill Marco, myself,
and Paul and Kathy.
Uh, Paul bought dinner for us.
No kidding.
Paul popped, huh?
Yeah.
And, uh, and then,
but tonight we'll go straight home.
On the train for about an hour and 15 minutes.
No, I drove today.
I drove today.
Oh, no kidding.
See?
Drove today.
Got a little roughy out there with the weather.
Well, uh, the, the train ride after a while,
it's, uh...
Hey, a big major star like you on the train,
it just isn't right.
Snyder never, Tom Snyder never took the train.
Yeah, but, you know,
Snyder lived, I'm living in Michigan,
so it's, uh, it's just difficult to get in, you know.
I have to call AAA in the morning,
get a triptych and, uh, stuff.
How's Cindy, by the way?
Cindy's terrific.
And, by the way, how's Claudia Cohen?
Claudia Cohen's your favorite, isn't she?
I like Claudia Cohen.
I think she does a wonderful job.
Well, listen, I'm going to go now.
Regis!
It's Regis!
I'm coming on your show, they tell me, soon.
That, you haven't heard yet, huh?
No, that'll be great.
We'll, we'll think of something for you to do, Regis.
Seriously, that'll be, it'll be just great.
Okay, let's go.
I know when we're not wanted.
Okay, bye-bye.
Good night, David.