Name: Regis Philbin and David Letterman Atop the Ed Sullivan Marquee, August 2009
Uploaded: 2020-07-26T19:50:43.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Regis Philbin and David Letterman Atop the Ed Sullivan Marquee, August 2009' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Regis Philbin and David Letterman Atop the Ed Sullivan Marquee, August 2009' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-26. Transcript available.

Yeah, ladies and gentlemen, here he is.
I would like to do two things, one before I leave the air.
One, I would like to make sure that Paul and the group
get into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
That's one.
Thank you, Paul.
And two, I would like to have your name officially changed
to Mr. New York.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
How nice, yeah.
I love the city, you know, I think the world of...
And you're always out doing stuff, you take full advantage of it?
But I don't like what's happened to Broadway,
your street right outside of it.
Oh, it stinks, it really stinks.
I can't believe it!
It's like a country lane.
They took New York, they took Broadway...
Broadway, the most famous street in the world.
In the world!
Right.
And they cut it down to two lanes for the cabs.
Right.
And two lanes for I don't know what,
because I never see anybody on those lanes!
Right.
One is painted green, they think...
What is that all about?
Well, people are so dumb, they'll think it's grass.
There it is, right there.
That's green, look at that.
And then, the other thing, a week later,
they came in and put those round circles in it.
What are those round circles?
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
And now, last week, they started planting trees.
I know.
There are planters every half block.
Oh, it's got to be changed.
Yeah, well, the trees, of course, will be stolen soon.
There's one right there!
And then, if you go down farther, it's people sitting in lawn chairs in the
middle of...
Oh, I saw that, yeah.
Oh, my God!
Who are those people?
I don't know!
Pull up a lawn chair in the intersection of 42nd and Broadway.
It's such a shame!
Oh!
It's degrading!
I like the old Times Square.
Oh, boy, oh, boy.
So do I.
But I'll tell you what I happened to be a couple of weeks ago when you had Paul
McCartney on
the show.
Oh, my gosh!
I happened to be right across the street.
Oh, is that right?
And I saw the crowds developing.
I never saw a crowd like that other than New Year's Eve.
And I love the fact that he was on your marquee.
He was up there on the marquee.
And let me tell you something.
I had a thought.
Yeah, sure, go ahead.
Did you ever see Boston Legal?
No.
You never heard of the Boston Legal show?
Well, I've heard of it.
I've never seen it.
Well, here's what happens.
The question was, have you ever seen Boston Legal?
Right, okay.
Okay.
The question was not, have you ever heard of Boston Legal?
Oh, right!
Here's what I want to say to you.
At the end of the show, they had a wonderful idea.
At the end of the show, Bill Shatner, and why can't I think of the other guy's
name?
James Spader.
They worked together.
And at the end of the show, for the last three or four minutes of the show,
they would meet
at a little patio outside their office.
Wow.
And they'd light up cigars.
Cigars, yeah.
And they would talk.
So I had this idea.
Oh, boy.
Watching you and I, at the end of every show, we'd go on the patio.
On the marquee.
On the marquee.
Yeah.
We'd talk about the day.
We'd talk about life.
And we'd talk about our friendship.
All right.
Let's do it.
I'd meet it.
It'd be great.
Look at this.
Thank you.
It'd be wonderful.
Do you smoke cigars?
Would you smoke a cigar?
Well, I don't smoke a cigar, but to get...
You would for this, right?
For this, I would.
Yeah.
A little Diet Coke.
Diet Coke.
Yeah.
We're outlaws.
What do you want to drink?
I'll drink with you.
Whatever you want.
A nice frothy cup of espresso.
You got it.
All right.
Espresso and a cigar.
I love it.
Yeah.
Cool.
All right.
Now, we do this after my show or after your show?
No, no, no.
After your show.
After my show.
Yeah, yeah.
Every night we do it?
Every night.
The last three minutes of the show are you and I just talking about the show.
Okay.
Talking about Inky over here.
You know, whoever we want.
Do we start tonight?
No.
I can't make it.
Oh, my God.
Craig Ferguson is next.
Good night, everybody.
When did you start smoking cigars?
You know, Jack Rollins, when he became my manager,
and he used to smoke.
And every time he saw Jack, he had a cigar in his mouth.
Right.
And he just made him look so good.
Uh-huh.
I couldn't help myself.
And then I started smoking and I couldn't quit.
Is that right?
Yeah.
And then I was smoking like 10 a day.
10 cigars?
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
And then I had the heart surgery.
Yeah.
I stopped smoking after that.
Yeah, sure.
Remember Jack Parr took a hike?
Jack Parr took a hike.
You know what happened?
He went outside and he was in the hallway on the sixth floor, whatever it was.
Yeah.
And he said, well, how do I go?
How do I get out of there?
Right.
You know, he didn't even know.
And the bad leader came out.
Jose Meles.
Jose Meles.
And he said, Jack, and he, Jose, Jack took him to and from.
That's right.
Scarsdale.
So, so, so, Jose came out and instead of saying, Jack, how do you feel?
He said, Jack, how am I going to get home?
Oh, poor Jack.
He just left the show.