Name: Mary Tyler Moore Collection on Letterman, Part 2 of 2: 1993-2009
Uploaded: 2020-08-14T18:38:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Mary Tyler Moore Collection on Letterman, Part 2 of 2: 1993-2009' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-08-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Mary Tyler Moore Collection on Letterman, Part 2 of 2: 1993-2009' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-08-14. Transcript available.

Mary Tyler Moore Collection on Letterman, Part 2 of 2: 1993-2009

you know when our first guest gets out here i may try and get her in the recliner
myself
i may i may be able to pull that as the host of the show i have certain latitudes
i may not know much ladies and gentlemen but i do know this america loves our
first guest
this woman has won an amazing seven emmy awards and starred in two of the most
successful television programs of all time ladies and gentlemen please welcome
uh my first wife and recliner mate mary tyler moore
how are you i'm great how are you i'm great i'm never better thank you very
much for coming to see us it means a great deal to me
it's terrific to be here in the big show how do you like the theater it's cool
isn't it it's nice it's very cold david no no i
i'm not a good idea
it's a little different my darling i have some implants sure but they're all in
the furniture so you don't have to worry hey speaking of
a little later will you hop in the recliners with me would you do that just you
and i would be my pleasure we'll see how it goes here
when it comes to hopping in recliners david i can't think of anyone i would
rather hop into a recliner with well bless you
and my husband knows that he's on notice that if you call i must go all right
well
man
bless your heart and tell your friends
uh you know i i feel so silly because every time i see you the one thing that i
want to say to you is
man i enjoy your television shows and they run them on that cable deal the nick
at night thing
and you can see the dick van dyke show yeah you couldn't be greater on that
show and then you get to see the mary tyler moore show or whatever
and boy those are just knockouts and and i would think i'm sorry to keep
bringing this up
uh and i would think that with the continuing exposure that those programs have
had that wherever you go you still cause a lot of trouble
people are just all over you i would say among them my husband who was in
medical school when the shows were first run
and who is now seeing for the first time what i finally do you know what i did
he never knew he missed all of those
yeah but i was in bloomingdale's the other day it was so funny i actually wasn't
there shopping i was making a shortcut between lexington and third
and why is that funny
i don't know but it is i mean if you were at a corner and you wanted to get to
the other corner you see and then you would make a shortcut
see yeah um so anyway i was and i didn't intend to buy anything but i passed
the belt rack and i saw a really great belt i wanted to buy and i realized that
i had changed my purse before i came out and i did not include my credit cards
or any money to speak of at a couple of dollars
not enough for the belt so what did you do just shove it in your purse
well
what are those deals
i am not a fellow yet david
i know i know
but no and the sales girl was she recognized me right away and she was calling
over her friends
melanie and melissa heather come and see look it's a very tyler moore look
and i said look i would really i'd really like to buy this belt but i don't
have my credit card and i don't have any money
you can just call up and get my credit card number upstairs can't you and she
said absolutely no problem
we'll just need two pieces of identification
i swear
that stinks doesn't it isn't it just dumb now mary yes i think the last time we
saw you on our show
yeah
you favored us and it was very popular it was very successful and everybody's
very excited about hearing another one of these
a joke
jokes
you have a joke you know telling jokes now is kind of a dying art not many
people really do it well
i know
and you have a little joke for us
i have a little joke and i have reason to believe it's a good joke because i
told it once before and it got a really great reaction
where did you tell the joke well i'll tell you after i tell the joke
okay all right okay so it goes like this a woman walks into the veterinarian
and she says doctor my dog is humping me constantly
the dog is doing the nasty
um and he says well uh bring him in next week we'll do we'll neuter him and she
says well no actually i was hoping you could just
clip his nails and fix his breath
oh
clip his nails and fix his breath
yes i told that at the golden retriever club of america
perfect
they liked it a lot
did they love it did they go nuts
they loved it they went bananas
all right we got a lot of other stuff to talk about
i just wonder now if they can open these doors
and as we go into commercial
if the recliners are still back there are they still back there
okay we'll go right all right
we'll be right back here with mary tyler moore let's just go see how they
look at this
look at this
oh look they're beautiful
please
oh yeah
oh no
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
wait you smell like a million bucks
thank you you know what that is
thank you you know what that is
you know what that is
you know what that is
you know what that is
that is
that is great
very nice
Paul Schaefer and the cbs orchestra Mary Tyler Moore is here
uh... Jackson Brown and Rita Rudner we have a great program tonight
call the neighbors by all means ladies and gentlemen
what else you want to chat about
i keep wanting to talk about well you tell me
how's your life what are you doing now you live on a farm is that the deal
none of your business David
who was it that said to you once i can't remember some brash young thing who
said
what is this twenty questions
yeah
and you said yes
yes i've heard that a great deal in my life
you're right
um i don't know
so you're smoking still huh
well thanks for pointing that out
this is this is a public theater there is no smoking allowed in this facility
i smoked i gave it up eight years ago
you smoked a lot
you used to smoke a great deal
i did i did
just pound them down
dick and i would uh... dick van dyke and i smoked pretty much
but that was a time when it was just like people smoked with breakfast
they would smoke two or three times while they were asleep it was just the
thing to do
absolutely and we may in fact find yet that it is the healthiest thing you can
do
now that they're finding all the poisons that are in various things we eat
things we eat
i'm sorry
no go ahead that was it
things we eat
things we eat yeah
we have a uh... an old cigarette commercial that you're in
i don't know if that's why you brought this up but it's from the dick van dyke
era and it's funny to look at because it looks like part of the show
yeah
yeah
yeah do you mind if we take a look at that
no
no
al do me a favor roll that videotape will you
well you see that
look at you
man look at you
why shouldn't i be
i have the two things that would make any man happy
a gorgeous wife
and i'm smoking a kid
which do you like the best
now there's a tough one
let me see
for cooking and for dancing and kissing
you satisfy best
but for filter and taste
Kent satisfies best
i'll accept that
man oh man oh man
you know what that show needed
you know what that living room needed
what
dual recliners
just hop right in that recliner and smoke smoke smoke
you know i was so
i was really a despicable person as well as a smoker
because kent cigarettes out of the goodness of their hearts
used to send each of us two cartons of kent's a week
oh man
and i would take them right down to the corner market and exchange them for the
brand i smoked
which was
yeah it was terrible
luckies
no
camels
oh really
yes
you weren't kidding around
no i was uh
pretty stupid
you know uh on monday night uh michael keaton
batman
i saw the show
michael keaton was on the show
and whenever michael is here
whenever you're here
whenever other people
who were part of an earlier project that we all have in common
are here
we talk about it a little bit
this was a show
that i had a small part on
that you did for cbs
you had a very large part on it
and that's why it evaporated
that's right
that's what i say to everybody
that it was really your show
and it was a shame that it didn't work
well that's very gracious of you
but it was 1978 79 something like that
was it
yeah it was a variety show and it was a great experience for me
it was terrific
we have a little videotape and i think this is the first time i've shown any of
the tape
i know how come you got brave all of a sudden
well i'm full of vodka
i keep it in my recliner
on this show i played a television star and david was the announcer for the
show
a boob
i was just a boob and a dork
he was a boob a whining and complaining person who said he didn't make enough
money so he had to earn money on the side
oh that's right
by taking a tour
a group of tourists through my home
and pointing out the various things about my personal life
so i'd wake up in the first thing in the morning there'd be david with 27
people
and uh so he sends them all out to the pool
to have a nice relaxing time while he asks me if i will make him breakfast
please
i have never seen this since it was taped
now this this aired i guess on the show
and as this was like 1978
all right
all right hal roll the videotape
here we go mary tyler moore and michelle
oh god
oh god
like an english muffin
and a half a grapefruit
sure
oh and if you could put a little powdered sugar on the grapefruit
and one of those cute little maraschino cherries in the middle but don't worry
about sucking it
it's all right
how's that
you know that's a little tart
you know now looking at that i realize the only reason i got that job
apparently what bert convy wanted too much money
that's just boy is that embarrassing
oh no you were great
i couldn't be dorkier
oh no you were supposed to be dorky
well yeah but it's genetic in my case
um so how are you spending your autumn do you have things lined up you're gonna
travel you're working you're relaxing
um a little of everything yeah i'm working and um and i'm writing a book i'm
going to actually write uh a version of things that have happened to me in my
life up until now
you've got a lot to tell that'll be great we'll look forward to that mary as
always it's a it's a pleasure and uh i owe you and i owe you and thanks for
hopping in the recliner
oh thanks
nice to see you
thank you
our first guest is one of the most successful and beloved women in the history
of television
she has just released this video collection entitled every woman's workout
you get done with that workout you won't be able to stand up either
ladies and gentlemen please welcome the one the only mary tyler moore
i'm sorry
see
you're right she's nothing without dick van dyke
oh no that's not true
doesn't stand up
how you doing buddy
i'm fine
how are you
nice to see you
boy you look like a million damn dollars
thank you i look like somebody stole my piano i think
no you uh you look great you look like you might be going out afterward or did
you get this dressed up just for the show
um no i i got this dressed up for you
because i know
god bless you
god bless you mary totem
oh man wow this is what is that wolverine
that's that's really that's really all right that's enough stop it
you look great you look like a million just every time i see you you just look
terrific
and i want to thank you for coming to my defense with rob reiner at that time
not so long ago
well he's what was he always talking about grabbing your butt or something
well he's a punk kid and he doesn't know what he's talking about you quite
rightly pointed out that i do get better and better and better and better
that's right oh that's right he was talking about when he was like 13 or
something he couldn't keep his hands off you
that's right and he one time gave me a friendly little swat on the butt
uh-huh and i reported him to his father
yep
and that's why you will probably not ever see me in a rob reiner movie
no no no no no no no no
no but man alive what a way to be a kid to have that kind of an experience
how about that wouldn't that change your life
oh you mean the butt thing
yeah
i thought you meant the comedy
no no well the comedy thing of course sure that would be secondary
but you know they pic