Name: Bonnie Hunt Collection on Letterman, Part 2 of 3: 1996-2003
Uploaded: 2020-09-28T17:50:41.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bonnie Hunt Collection on Letterman, Part 2 of 3: 1996-2003' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-09-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bonnie Hunt Collection on Letterman, Part 2 of 3: 1996-2003' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-09-28. Transcript available.

Bonnie Hunt Collection on Letterman, Part 2 of 3: 1996-2003

Our next guest is a wonderfully talented actress who started in, well, recently
Jumanji and also the film Only You.
Now her television series Bonnie can be seen Sunday nights right here on CBS.
Here she is, ladies and gentlemen, our old good friend, or our good old friend,
just take the word old out of this introduction, here's Bonnie Hunt.
Hey, how you doing? Bonnie, Bonnie, Bonnie, nice to see you. How you doing?
What's going on?
Nothing.
Congratulations on the big show coming back. Congratulations on the big Jumanji.
Another blockbuster for you, wasn't it?
Yes, it's all because of me.
Oh, sure. You came in last night from California?
Yes, I did.
It was nasty weather. Was it ugly?
It was, and the flight was delayed.
Oh, I hate that.
It was about 2.30 when I got to the hotel.
And I was wiped out, and then I started doing interviews at 7 this morning.
Well, thank you very much. I appreciate your time.
Sure.
Yeah.
Yeah. Look at my hair, Dave. I'm Bobby Joe from Petticoat Junction.
Well, is there anything wrong with that?
Petticoat Junction.
There's nothing wrong with that, is there?
Now, I know that you're about to start working on a new film. Can we even talk
about it? I don't know how they are in Hollywood. They're very sensitive about
new projects. Can we talk about your next film?
Yeah. Actually, I worked yesterday until I got on the plane, but wait, let me
tell you what happened on the plane. Okay, really fast.
Oh, we're going back to the plane story. It better be good now. Well, it kind
of moved on. We did the hair, and we moved on. We're going back to the plane
story.
Well, the hair distracted me. I looked in the camera, and I saw somebody I don't
know.
All right, fine. Here we go. Pick it up. Pick it up. All right.
It's like overtime in the edit room tonight. Here we go. All right, Bonnie. No
pressure on the story now. Let's go.
All right. Stop it. Stop it. Will it be as long as Dan's story?
I think Dan should run for president. That thing was biblical, wasn't it, in
Lincoln?
Yes, it was. The Old Testament there from Dan.
Moon the nation.
Oh, I'm on the plane, and the guy next to me is falling sound asleep, and he's
got the whole lazy boy thing,
because this time you guys flew me in first class, which is really nice for a
chance.
Well, you deserve it. Thanks.
The guy next to me falls asleep, and he's got the leg rest up and everything.
He's out cold. Out cold, honey.
Got his shoes off?
No.
Oh, thank God.
And I needed to make a phone call, so I had to get my credit card out of the
overhead bin,
you know, where my bag was, of course.
And so I decided I'm not going to stir him, so I put one leg over, and I'm kind
of slowly straddling him.
Ooh.
And all of a sudden, he kind of stirs and wakes up, so I freeze like this, like
somehow, you know, if I act like part of the plane, he won't notice me.
And then he goes right back to sleep.
Yeah.
Certainly not the first man.
And so anyway, I open the overhead bin, and as I open it, one pillow falls down
on his head.
Oh.
Then another one.
No, I start laughing.
Everybody's asleep.
I've got my own comedy show going on.
Honestly, I turn right into Jerry Lewis.
I'm like, oh, sorry, I quit the thing, and as I'm trying to get up, now a
blanket wrapped in plastic falls and hits him on the head, and the guy's just
out.
And then a Snickers bar from my bag as I'm pulling, I had it for a friend of
mine, because, you know, I mean, and I pull the credit card out, and the Snickers
bar comes out off his head, and he wakes up and looks at me, and I go, sir, I'm
so sorry.
And he looks at me, and he goes, oh, and he takes all the pillows and sticks
them behind his head, because all these pillows are piled up on his lap and
went right back to sleep.
Just goes right back to sleep.
Sure.
I don't want to touch, you know, a sleeping man.
Yeah.
Of course, being married to an Irishman, it wouldn't be a big change for me.
Oh, come on.
Don't touch me, honey.
Oh, knock it off.
Oh, my God.
Dave, I forgot my black stockings.
So I dipped my legs in foundation that I had for my face.
I was like...
Oh, that's, you mean that's makeup?
Yes.
That looks pretty good.
No, there's no makeup on.
Oh, God, my mother's going to be really upset.
Maybe...
She's going to go, you had hussy hair and your legs hanging out.
It's like, Mom, that's the way Dave likes his women.
Yeah!
All right, what are we talking about?
What are we talking about now?
Well, let me see.
What are we talking about now?
Do we got to do a commercial?
Where's Morty?
Huh?
What are we doing?
We have one more minute.
Oh, we got plenty of time.
Oh, I don't really have anything.
Yeah, no.
Let's talk about the project, the Tom...
Can I...
I don't even...
Can you mention your next film?
Can we talk about it?
Yeah, I'm doing a film called Jerry Maguire with Tom Cruise.
There you go.
Now, you've worked with Tom Cruise at least one other time than I know of in...
Rain Man.
It was my first movie.
Yeah.
Well, it wasn't my first movie.
The very first thing I did, I was still working as a nurse at the hospital, and
there was
this call in the Chicago newspaper that they were looking for extras for this
movie.
So I kind of checked the nursing schedule for the next day, and there wasn't
too many sick
people, so I called in sick myself.
And I go down to this Blackstone Hotel in Chicago where they're shooting the
movie.
Oh, I've been.
There's a Blackstone Theater, too, isn't there?
Yeah.
Yeah, I've been there.
And...
So...
You don't need to be snotty.
I don't think it's necessary to be snotty to me.
No, they're not, honey.
Wow, working out again.
Yeah.
Must be jelly, because jam, don't shake like that.
All right, come on.
I'm built like a nice, healthy woman, not like those anorexics in L.A.
We will spend some time in the editing room, right?
Yeah, sure.
What were we talking?
Oh, so anyway, I call in sick.
Okay, so I go down there, and they line the girls up, and they're going to pick
three girls.
So they pick the two girls, and I'm still standing there waiting, you know,
just like my days
in high school when I didn't get a cheerleading squad.
And they go, okay, we have one outfit left, and this girl might have a line in
the movie.
The shoes are a size seven.
Well, I'm an eight, and I go, that's my size.
Yeah, sure.
It's the kind of thing you have to do when you're a beginning actress.
Sure, you want to make it, right.
Absolutely.
So I fold my toes under, literally.
I mean, I can't even walk.
I'm in so much pain.
That's a lovely thought.
Right.
And I figure all I've got to do is stand there and say the one line, and that'll
be done.
You're home free, sure.
Right.
So I get down to the set, and Sean Young is the lead.
No, she's nuts.
Oh, honey.
Well, no, maybe she wasn't nuts then.
She's nuts now.
No, David.
Or maybe she's not nuts now.
There was a time when she was nuts.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think she's fine now.
I don't think she's nuts at all.
So then the director comes down, and he says, okay, are we all set?
And I'm like, yes, sir, director, sir, man.
And he goes, okay, I'd like you to meet the choreographer, because we're going
to be doing
the Foxtrot.
And I'm like, oh, my God.
So we start doing the Foxtrot for 10 hours, Dave.
Yeah.
And my feet are bleeding now, because the shoes have cut in.
And they're yelling, cut, and they're coming over and dabbing it with cotton.
And I do my one line, and I'm working.
And they go, are these shoes okay?
I go, my feet swell when I do the Foxtrot.
So then...
Well, if you do it right, whose don't, you know?
Seriously.
Yeah, okay.
So anyway, my whole family gathers in front of the television set for my big
premiere.
They want to see your shirt, yeah.
Yes.
And I'm waiting for my big scene with my one line and my bloody feet.
And it comes up, and you just see me go like this.
Wait, there's the camera.
I go like this.
That's all you see.
I think we have that.
Is that right?
I think I was told we have that.
Do we have that?
Show this really quickly.
Here it is.
Bonnie, just what she was talking about.
I can't bear to think about losing.
Look at those jaw muscles.
I'm not going to lose this.
That was it?
That was it?
No.
What the hell is going on here?
What's wrong?
I don't know.
Do you want to get rid of me?
No.
All right, so your TV show, they call it now Bonnie.
It used to be Bonnie Hunt, but they shortened it to Bonnie.
They were going to change it to Moon the Nation.
Yeah, a cost-cutting move.
Bonnie will be seen Sunday night right after, is it Sybil?
After Sybil, and you have to watch it, because in this week's episode, George
Hamilton, I made
the cute car guy leave, and George didn't know it, so he quickly started panicking.
He wrote down his lines on the tablecloth, and in the scene with me, he picks
up his
wine glass, and there's a total lookup.
He's terrified on his face, and he goes, you know that Diane is really
something, and he's
reading through his wine glass, so watch for that.
It's not one of those blooper shows, is it?
Sounds like one of those bloopers and practical jokes thing.
That's not what this is, is it?
Playing tricks on George Hamilton?
I wish it was as good.
Was his tan there?
He did.
He did have a tan.
Okay, all we know about this right now is we have to do a commercial.
That's all we know so far.
We'll be right back.
It's not live.
See the rain coming down?
But that's not, that was like in August, right?
No, wait, wait, I want to tell you guys what Dave said to me during the
commercial.
Hold on.
The minute we went to commercial, Dave looks at me, he goes, what the hell did
you do to
your hair?
No, I didn't.
Yes, you did.
I didn't say it.
And then I said, does it look funny?
He goes, aerodynamically, it looks very nice.
It looks like it has a very low coefficient of drag, you know?
Wind tunnel tested.
You're going to generate plenty of downforce with that hair.
Well, let's get on to the big show.
Let's see.
What did you do with that hair anyway?
Coming up in this half hour, this half hour, really?
We have a half hour less than that?
So what's Snyder going to do if we're doing another half hour?
It's a very special episode of Dave.
The Tony Ridge Project, tomorrow on the show, Dana Carvey.
He's very funny.
Very talented young man.
Yes, sir.
He'll be here from Melrose Place, Daphne Zuniga.
God bless you.
And acclaimed Irish dance company, River Dance.
Yeah!
There you go.
We'll be right back for the Tony Rich Project.
All right, we're out of time.
Now stay tuned for Tom Snyder on The Late Late Show.
Good night, moms and dads.
How you doing, ladies and gentlemen?
Welcome back to the program.
A little bit later on, I've never done this,
I'm going to try and book an act during the show.
Actually, book an act.
That's right.
And you know these rock and roll people, they're rebels.
They're rebels.
They're free spirits.
So I'm going to ask, there may be a fist fight, ladies and gentlemen.
Stay tuned for the fist fight.
You'd like to see me get beaten up, wouldn't you?
Our next guest is a wonderful actress.
She starred in such blockbuster films as Beethoven, Beethoven 2, and Jumanji.
Her brand new film, Jerry Maguire, opens on Friday.
Ladies and gentlemen, here she is, her good friend, Bonnie Hunt.
I didn't want to get your soup.
That was eggnog, right?
I've been here since two...
Oh, David.
You don't have a...
Oh, my...
Touch of the flu, yes.
Eggnog at all.
Whoa, yeah.
Dude, that ain't eggnog, sister.
How you doing, buddy?
Fine, how are you?
Nice to see you.
Welcome back to the big, big program.
You know, every time I turn around, you're in one of these huge, huge movies.
Last time we were here, it was Jumanji, and that made like eight million.
Eight billion.
Eight billion.
Did I say million?
Eight billion.
That was just in video rentals, yeah.
That's right.
And now you're working with Tom Cruise again.
Yeah, he's a cutie pie.
He's a hunk.
Oh, he's a hunk.
He really is.
His wife, she's let herself go.
Yeah.
Yeah, we're having a great time.
I've been in New York for a week and 