Name: Joe and Jill Biden Collection on Letterman, 2007-2012
Uploaded: 2020-10-17T18:51:24.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe and Jill Biden Collection on Letterman, 2007-2012' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-10-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe and Jill Biden Collection on Letterman, 2007-2012' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-10-17. Transcript available.

Joe and Jill Biden Collection on Letterman, 2007-2012

our next guest is a six-term senator now running as democratic candidate for
president this is his
new book entitled promises to keep please welcome your senator from the great
state of delaware
senator joe biden senator
i just caught a glimpse of the two of us walking back to the area here and i
thought wow this would
be a wonderful ticket you and me i think i'd be happy to be your vice president
look at how great
we look i'll tell you what no no maybe you could finance our campaign i'll take
care i'll do
whatever i can hey i got that on me now listen but i but i would like to be the
the vice president and
and i would be the guy that would offer to resign when stuff went ugly oh no
okay fine i'll quit
and then i'll leave what do you mean you're not banding like cheney no uh now
you know what i was
uh i didn't realize that when you were first elected uh senator from delaware
uh you were 29
years old that's right and and you have to be 30 to actually take the office is
that right that's
correct yeah what what was it like i mean you're a kid at 29 for gosh sakes
what was that like uh walking
into the great senate chamber at 29 years old you know i walked in when i was
21 and i got arrested
i was it was a saturday i was down visiting some friends at georgetown
university and uh i came up on
the saturday morning because i was fascinated with the senate and then a saturday
session i walked up
those days no guards stopping you everywhere and i and they just got out of
session i walked in the
back all of a sudden i found myself in the chamber and i was stunned i walked
up sat down the presiding
officer's seat guy grabbed me by the shoulder said you're under arrest
literally nine years later
as i walked onto the senate floor through the same door that same guy cop uh
said to me senator you
remember me and i said jeez i don't he said i arrested you nine years ago
wow how about that he said welcome back welcome back welcome back what was it
um
i i i think any first time senator has got to be intimidated somewhat but to be
a 29 30 year old
senator the the intimidation was it did it was it palpable did you feel it what
was it like i did but
i i got there kind of under lousy circumstances uh i think i would have been
genuinely intimidated
instead when i went down there i almost had a chip on my shoulder right right
after i got elected i got
elected november 7th and december 18th that year before i was sworn in my wife
and daughter were killed
in an automobile accident my my two sons were pretty banged up and i didn't
have any plans on going down i
had talked to our governor to appoint someone to my spot and senator mansfield
wonderful guy got me to go
down and said just give me six months that was 34 years ago and um and so uh so
i started off uh
just in a bad mood uh and um and uh but once i got there and started to get
involved and realized just
where i was it was there were two two occasions when i was felt very
intimidated in the beginning
one was we went to i went to speak with uh i was on the senate foreign
relations committee that was a
big deal for a young person young was anything other than 65. uh and uh you all
think i'm kidding
i'm not uh and uh um and so i went into this meeting that henry kissinger was a
witness it was called
he was briefing us his world view and i was late to the meeting i went to the
wrong room and i came into
the door this small relatively small room and the door handle slipped out of my
hand and banged against
these filing cabinets and about nine elderly guys had coronary arrest and i
literally found myself
upon the back of henry kissinger and ended up sitting down in the only open
seat making me the second
ranking member of the committee and things went from bad to worse and finally
got my turn to ask a
question and uh senator mansfield said any other questions i said yes sir and i
had worked up as my
senatorial voice i was going to ask this tough question i said dr kissinger and
kissinger ignored
me completely looked at the leader and said mr leader he said i was under the
impression no staff
was allowed in these meetings uh things went from bad to worse i said uh and
then the assistant secretary
of state handed him a piece of paper i said biden delaware he said oh senator
biddon i'm so sorry
and i said secretary dulles it's not a problem we'll get on very well things
went all downhill from there
you know what i mean now you uh you mentioned uh in passing and i certainly
know that that's not what
it represents in your life but how how were you able to keep going uh after
your family is devastated
that way was it just a matter of kind of sleepwalking one foot in front of
another just watching the days
go by my uh my dad god love him had an expression his whole life he'd say uh
you know you'd you'd have
a bad day and he'd say get up you get knocked down on the football field get up
anything that happened
the refrain was get up and it was sort of getting up it reminded me of uh when
i played uh football in
high school and a little bit in college you you know you had to do these wind
sprints and the only way i
could do 20 wind sprints say one more one more and i i consciously at the time
and i'm sure a lot of
people out here have gone through things similar or worse than i did and what
you do is you just get
up and just get up and go through that day but i had a real incentive i had two
young boys to raise and
i went home every night i still do and uh and everybody thought god isn't that
nice he's going home he's
being responsible for the hell i needed to go home for for me uh with them so
that that was just get up you
just you just do it how old were your boys when they lost their mother they
were uh four and five
not not quite four not quite five and um but look uh you know i i was really
lucky i have a sister
who's incredible we have an expression in my family if you have to ask it's too
late um and my sister
literally she and her husband gave up their apartment when i got home from the
hospital i wasn't in the
accident when i got home from the hospital um she had already moved into the
movement of the house and uh five
years later got lucky got married and came home and she had moved out i mean it
was uh
pretty nice of her wasn't it let's talk about this is your uh this is your
second run for the white
house is that correct first was auspicious the first one was was uh i remember
in the in the 60 80s in
the 60s it was it was derailed well maybe it wasn't derailed but i remember
this uh quoting uh passage from the
uh passage from the gettysburg address and and there was no attribution to lincoln
was was that the episode
that was the essence i uh i quoted um uh a fellow named neil kinnick who was a
labor party leader in
great britain running for prime minister and i quoted him all the time but this
time i didn't quote him
i just it was just i just screwed up i made a mistake and one of the other
campaigns that said gave me a
sharp elbow and then i became biden the plagiarizer biden the guy who didn't
and look i mean i wasn't i
don't know you knew at the time that you would admit there's an oversight no no
it was flat flat mistake on
my part and uh and um you know you one of the things is you uh it actually it's
probably a good thing
that happened to me i know that sounds strange i wish it didn't happen the way
it did but um shortly
after i got out i ended up with two cranial aneurysms and uh given a relatively
uh not a great chance of
living uh you've been through some life-threatening operations and uh you know
talking about the first part of
the show yeah but let me tell you it's not as bad as me i i flew up on us air
you know so you know
i uh but but anyway so it had nothing to do with lincoln and nothing to do with
the gettysburg
address no but it's the same principle though same principle man i tell you it
would have been harder
that way so but but now uh what do you how do you like your chances now for the
white house well i think
my chances are good i have no money i have no obligations uh i have no support
no i uh i i think
they're really good look i think as long as as the single central issue facing
the country is
national security the war in iraq terrorism as long as that's the case and as
long as i can raise
which i think i can 20 to 25 million dollars not 100 million like others are
raising um i'm in the game
i i think i am i we all do i guess i think i'm the most qualified person for at
this moment in our
history and why does a person even want this job now because whoever gets it
really is inheriting
quite a quite a mess you know dave if you if you ever wanted to be president
this is a time to be
president because you literally have a chance that only occurs about every 60
70 years in american
history you got a chance to literally change the direction of the world and if
we keep going the
direction we're going we're we're in real trouble and the rest of the world i
know most of these other
world leaders not because i'm important i just been hanging around a long time
i've gone to meetings
of them when they were young parliamentarians and now running their countries
and they're desperately
looking for somebody who uh um who can reestablish america's place in the world
uh and i think it's
available i think the american public is ready to do great things they're not
afraid of any of these
challenges how's your health now everything good thank you very much for being
here this is the book
joe biden promises to keep have a great campaign thank you very much for being
here
global for delos
i am so happy our uh first guest was here when i glanced quickly at the board
last week i said dr
phil oh not that quack again no no it's not dr phil dr jill dr jill dr jill she
is an associate
professor of english at northern virginia community college she is also the
second lady of the united
united states ladies and gentlemen please welcome dr jill biden
thank you so much for being here let me uh do a little a term definition i i
don't think that i'm
familiar with the term second lady is that what you're referred to well i kind
of like to say i'm
captain of the vice team
yeah
now um you and your husband live at the uh the naval observatory uh-huh yeah
now that's odd the naval
observatory is there really an observatory there oh there is yeah and do you
have access regular
access to the telescope and i take guests there and give them tours and yeah
well now that's about
the time i would love to come so you you live in a in a building that is also
the naval observatory
and is it like well it's the house is on uh the grounds and the observatory is
you know maybe
a couple feet away or you know yards away and do you ever catch those guys
looking in the window
i mean because that's that's illegal even i know you don't do that to the vice
president and his wife
no absolutely not um boy uh washington just seems like it's every day it's a
firestorm of
dissension and anger and activity doesn't it well not every day yeah does does
your husband come home
and say oh what are we going to do we got to get this we got to get that or
does he leave it all at the
office no he leaves it at the office pretty much you know he's a guy with a lot
of energy and uh i think
he always has a positive optimistic attitude uh see i'm just the opposite
i couldn't be more pessimistic and and i want somebody just take this back and
talk it over with
your buddies i want a guy to come in there i want president obama to come in
there and say all
right we're not going to screw around anymore it's my way or the highway you
know what i'm saying
i'll take that back yeah just take that back i'll take that back to him i want
to hear him say to
boehner or to anybody bring it fatty that's what i want
you're a uh a career educator i am i teach english at a community college and i'm
still teaching and
i'll be there 7 30 tomorrow morning oh my and this how long have you been a
teacher 31 years 31 yea