Name: The Morning Show Special on Letterman, February 27, 1985 (full)
Uploaded: 2020-11-16T03:02:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Morning Show Special on Letterman, February 27, 1985 (full)' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Morning Show Special on Letterman, February 27, 1985 (full)' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-16. Transcript available.

The Morning Show Special on Letterman, February 27, 1985 (full)

A message from David Letterman, the host of Late Night.
Hi. You know, we get an awful lot of letters from people who really just can't
stay up late enough to watch our show,
so instead they videotape it at home and watch it in the morning while they're
eating breakfast.
Well, for those people, we have decided to do a special version of our show.
We call it The Morning Show.
Now, why are we doing all this for just a tiny portion of our vast viewing
audience?
Well, you tell them, Paul.
Ah, I'm sorry, Dave. I missed the meeting on this thing.
Okay, I'll tell you why. Because we feel here at Late Night that a viewer is a
viewer.
But, Dave, what about all the people who tape the show and then watch it the
next day during dinner?
It's just a gimmick, Paul. Don't worry about that. Come on. Just a gimmick.
Just a deal.
From New York, the city that never sleeps and looks like hell in the morning,
It's Late Night's special morning show with David Letterman and co-host Tawny
Harper-Reynolds.
Guests, actress Carol Channing, animal analyst Beatrice Lidecker, and from Monty
Python, Michael Palin.
Also, the weather with Dr. Henry, traffic updates with Larry Bud Melman, and
Dave's bloodbark.
And now, two people who think you are very special, Dave and Tawny.
Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen, and good morning to you.
It's an unbelievable day here in New York City, and I hope it's as nice
wherever you happen to be.
This is, of course, with my lovely co-host, Tawny Harper-Reynolds.
Tawny, good to see you again this morning. You look terrific.
You look amazing.
Now, let me guess, you made this, didn't you? This little deal.
No, I didn't.
It looks good, though.
Not this one.
Now, what was the one you made? The one with the hoops, the big hoop skirt deal.
I can't believe you remember that.
Yeah, that was great.
You never forget.
Yeah, I know.
Well, it was a stunning piece of attire. Take my word for it.
Now, what did you do last night?
I had a great night.
I stayed home, and I watched the Grammys.
I had a big bowl of popcorn, and I watched the Grammys.
That's a great night for you.
Yeah, it was super.
Now, Paul, I have a question about these Grammy deals.
Yes, Dave. Good morning, by the way.
Good morning, you.
Good morning, Paul.
Now, Antony, maybe you understand this.
Maybe you can tell me what the deal is here.
What?
There's a category for Song of the Year, right?
Right.
Now, who won that?
That was Tina Turner, What's Love Got to Do With It?
Okay.
Song of the Year.
All right, fine.
Congratulations.
We couldn't be happier for her.
Now, there's also a category, Record of the Year.
Yeah.
Now, why are there two categories?
Well, there could be a...
One is for the song, the actual writing of the song,
and the other one is, you know, for the kind of record that they made
on the song.
So, what you're saying, you mean, it's possible that there is a song
that is very popular that people are singing in their own homes
that was never put on record.
Could that happen?
Well, I suppose that could happen.
It's possible, though, there could be a song, you know,
a great song, and they didn't make a good record on it, you know.
So, it was a good song, but it's too bad they didn't make a better record.
Okay, but Tina Turner won both categories.
Yeah.
Yeah.
In this case, they coincide Song of the Year with also having to be a great
record record
of the year.
You know, it was interesting.
I read this in the paper this morning.
Last night on stage, while Prince was singing his number toward the end of the
show,
there were more people on stage with him than the combined total USFL
attendance from last
weekend.
You're kidding.
That's a good one.
Oh, gosh.
What are we doing, Tony?
Tony, I have a cold this morning, so try not to get too close to me.
Oh, please.
What do we got?
You got stuff that's cropped up there?
Well, you know, I just have to say that one of my favorite things about doing
this show
is the things that people send in, you know, those wonderful little momentum.
As a matter of fact, somebody in the studio audience gave us this,
or has been kidnapped, I think.
Here it is.
This.
Look at this.
We got one of these.
That's cute.
Yeah.
This is a woman in Kentucky made this.
What's the doll's name?
Little David.
Oh, this is...
Oh, good.
This is Little David right here.
That was just adorable.
He is cute.
Must have been a really difficult birth.
Well...
Tony, what else do we have?
Look, we have this.
This is a caricature of us.
This is us?
It was sent in by a viewer.
Uh-huh.
Where is the...
A Bob Curtin of Syracuse, New York sent this,
and he does these cartoons as a hobby.
We're very lucky to have this.
Yeah, he's getting closer.
It's really special.
And then a sweater?
What is the sweater here?
Yeah, the sweater.
Now, this...
Oh, this is terrific.
This cardigan sweater was sent to us by the California Date Growers Association.
Oh, I see, yeah.
If you notice...
The buttons are dates.
Buttons are dates, yeah.
That's very nice.
Isn't that super?
You like it?
Yeah.
Take a bite.
No, I can't...
I can't imagine flies being a problem with that.
Well, what are we up to now?
We're going to...
Oh, did you have trouble getting to work this morning?
Yeah, no.
Really?
No.
Paul, did you have trouble getting to work?
It was crazy.
I had a lot.
I couldn't get a cab.
The traffic is unbelievable.
So, as we do every morning this time,
let's check in the morning show traffic copter
and our own Larry Bud Millman.
Larry.
Larry, can you hear me?
Larry, go...
Larry, go ahead with the traffic report.
See, I think apparently the...
Apparently the cabin is not pressurized
and Larry's not getting enough oxygen, so...
Larry, can you hear me?
We'll, uh...
We'll, uh...
We'll, uh...
What do we do?
We'll check back in a little bit later.
Oh, yeah.
That's Larry and our traffic cop.
And we'll try to get the communication cleared out.
Oh, yeah.
Now it's time for our lucky number.
And, 20, go ahead and tell them what we'll be drawing for this morning.
Absolutely.
It's, uh...
Dave, our lucky number.
This morning we'll be getting more than a prize.
They'll be getting a whole new look they probably need from Elizabeth Jourdan
Salons.
Isn't that terrific?
That's great, yeah.
Facial, permanent, a complete beauty makeover.
And all wrapped in a stylish rayon scarf by Henri of JCPenney.
All right, that's what the lucky number winner will be receiving this morning.
Here's our first number.
It is a three.
Our second number is a six.
And our third number here is a nine.
This morning's lucky number is three, six, five.
Oh, that coffee is great.
So are we all set?
Are we going to check the traffic again or later?
What do you think?
Now or later?
All right.
Okay, let's one more time.
We'll go back to the helicopter and see if we can't get that vital traffic
information.
Larry!
Larry!
Larry, go ahead and get the traffic report.
Larry, let's go ahead and get the traffic report.
Just barely hear it again.
Maybe now would be a good time to test that cruise missile we've heard so much
about.
All right, we'll come back to Larry for that valuable traffic information.
On our program this morning, you woke up for a good show.
Michael Palin is here.
And me.
Yes, he is.
And we also have actress Carol Channing who's going to teach us.
You worked with Carol Channing before, haven't you?
Yes, I did.
I did.
And Carol's going to do what this morning?
She's great.
She's going to disco-size this morning.
That's how she puts in shape.
Disco-size, yeah.
That disco thing has just gone crazy.
It's all over the country.
And also, if you're having trouble with your dog or your cat or your chipmunk
or your parakeet
and behavior problems, we have animal analyst Beatrice Lidecker here to tell
you what's the
matter with your animal.
And we also have a visit from Dave's Blood Bug.
We've got a really good show.
Pour yourself another cup of joe and come on back, folks.
It's the morning show.
Coming up, Shaq, making a comeback.
Okay, welcome back and good morning.
We have quite a program for you.
One other thing that we always do every day is we check in at the morning show
weather center
with our own weatherman, Dr. Henry.
Dr. Henry, what's the weather like out there this morning?
I know it looked pretty nice coming to work.
Good morning, Tony.
Good morning, Mr. Hesselman.
Good morning, Dr. Henry.
The temperature is a balmy 54 degrees here at the weather center.
Just a reminder, Mr. Hesselman, Friday night I'll be leading the morning show
of good guys
in the basketball game against the St. Joseph's Academy faculty all-stars.
We'll have a lot of fun.
And remember, it's for charity.
It's going to be a great day.
So get out and enjoy it.
Tony, Mr. Hesselman.
Okay, thanks.
Thanks, Dr. Henry.
Yeah, it's 54 degrees out there.
It looks like it's going to be just a wonderful day.
My first guest today is an old friend of this program, and we're always glad to
have him
back with us.
He is currently starring in a film called Private Function.
I'm sorry, it's called A Private Function.
With Maggie Smith, he will also be featured in the motion picture Brazil with
Jonathan Price
and Robert De Niro, which will open this summer.
Next week, he is publishing a book called Fishtails, written by Al Levinson.
In addition, he can be seen in a short film called The Dress at many theaters
throughout
the country.
And of course, Monty Python's Flying Circus, in which he played a wide variety
of hilarious
roles, can be seen in reruns on stations all over the United States.
Please say hello to Michael Palin.
Michael, nice to see you.
Thank you.
Nice to be here.
Very nice to be here.
Thank you.
How are you doing?
Thank you.
Nice.
Fine.
Nice to see you.
You know, Michael, I think the last time you were here, Tony was home ill, so
this is
actually your first time.
That's right.
Yes, yes.
You were doing it all yourself.
It's nice to see Tony back and looking really well.
Wow.
I'm so glad I didn't miss you this time.
Listen, are any of those other Monty Python people in the film?
No.
No.
Not in this one, no.
No.
They've been entirely replaced by a large pig.
A large pig?
A pig.
A pig that grew larger even as we made the film A Private Function, which is
opening soon
in New York.
I'm in it, the pig's in it, Maggie Smith is in it, and as you say, I'll be
doing Brazil
later in the year.
I have a book coming out next week.
Michael, why don't you tell folks what the film is about?
Oh, I hope you wouldn't ask me that.
Well, it's all set in England in 1947, just after the Second World War.
All right.
And unfortunately, after winning the war, England immediately plunged into a
period of total
poverty, and no one had enough to eat, no clothes and all that.
And there's this little town in Northern England where they're fattening a pig,
the sort of local
town where they're fattening this pig.
And I steal the pig by accident.
And pig meat at that time, you know, is a real status symbol.
I see.
One pig is like about six Rolls Royces.
So I get this pig, and I steal it.
Myself and Maggie Smith plays my wife.
And we then get it back to the house.
Now, I have to tell you that I play a chiropodist, or a, what do you call it?
Someone who looks up to people's feet.
Oh, now how is that different from a podiatrist?
Yeah, it's slightly longer.
Maybe three letters, maybe more, yeah.
Well, did you...
And shut up.
I'm just telling you a story.
Shut up.
And I have to kill this.
Sorry, Tony, did I say shut up?
Oh, no.
No, you didn't.
Oh, God.
My publicist is going to give me hell.
Real hell.
Sorry, Tony, what were you going to say?
I was just wondering if you learned anything about proper foot care.
Proper foot care.
You were saying that you were a foot doctor.
That's right, yeah.
Did you actually have to handle people's feet in the film?
You did.
Yeah.
I find that you can tell an awful lot about people from looking at their feet.
Is that right?
You can tell where their toes are, you know, things like that, where their heel
is.
No, I had