Name: Kenny Sheehan Collection on Letterman, Part 3 of 3: 2001-2007
Uploaded: 2020-11-20T19:13:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Kenny Sheehan Collection on Letterman, Part 3 of 3: 2001-2007' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Kenny Sheehan Collection on Letterman, Part 3 of 3: 2001-2007' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-20. Transcript available.

Kenny Sheehan Collection on Letterman, Part 3 of 3: 2001-2007

All right let's uh we got a thing here we're going to show you it's a day in
the life of
Hillary Clinton you want to do that let's try that here we go 4 15 p.m. Hillary
takes a brief
nap that's 4 15 p.m. excuse me Dave excuse me Dave I'm sorry Kenny yes I don't
care what her
schedule said she wasn't taking no nap ok 4:30 8 p.m. Hillary has dinner that's
8 p.m.
excuse me Dave what is it now Kenny I don't care what her schedule says she
wasn't eating no dinner okay now I don't know how much of this you've heard
about
but it's it's making everybody in the television and motion pictures and radio
very very frightened and scared because the the WGA the Writers Guild of
America of
which I am a proud member and have been for 20 years is is thank you there may
be there may be legal action and and the labor action and the writers would do
we
would all go out on strike yes you see and if that happens we you know we're
screwed because we we can't do this show without writers but we thought well
geez
what would it be like to do the show without writers and here now is just a
kind of a glimpse of what you might see here every night if the show is being
done without writers it's called Pat and Kenny's it kind of sounds like a joke
boys
hey Pat I think my wife's cheating on me really are you upset upset I'm not
even
married
thank you very much thank you thanks boys
stage managers apparently on strike
how'd you do welcome back is the dog over there can we try it again can we get
it I think let's try let's try the dog one more time and if it still looks pitiful
then we'll forget the whole thing but he's such a sweetheart of a dog come on
come on
come on
come on
come on
come on
come on
come on
come on
how do you do welcome back is the dog over there can we try it again can we get
it i think let's
try let's try the dog one more time and if it still looks pitiful then we'll
forget the whole
thing but he's such a sweetheart of a dog uh come on colby come on out here
here is jimmy come on
come on jimmy come on buddy here we go come on here he comes there he is
what a boy come over here come on over here
come on over here lick daddy's face come on over here and lick stay away from
me don't you
all right
all right we're going to show you what stuff costs here at the late show paul
you got music for this
you know people think that you make a lot of money in tv but you don't because
the overhead will just
kill you here's some stuff for example like lawsuits where's kenny sheehan kenny
right there we spent a lot
a lot of dough on lawsuits give them an example kenny ridges philben is my
daddy right there that's going
to be a lawsuit that's seven and a half million down that's pricey
uh okay here we go these are actual uh letters from actual viewers dear dave i'm
going to see a movie this
weekend what should i see hillary titley port dover
well ms titley
there are there are a lot of movies there right now that you can go to see uh
to help you make a
decision what you want to spend your money on we're debuting a brand new
segment tonight one of our
stagehands kenny sheehan does it it's entitled kenny sheehan's movie review
watch closely kenny
thank you hi and welcome to kenny sheehan's movie review this week i'll be
reviewing crocodile dundee
in los angeles let's head inside
look forward to more installments of that yeah seem a little harsh on our big
mother's day i don't
know why i don't know did i forget something kenny are you out here for a
reason okay it makes me
nervous when they stand there i'm thinking that i blew a line i know no there's
no reason no you don't
have to leave i just thought i'd screwed it up i'm gonna leave anyway okay good
thanks
you gotta stay
letter number two hey dave do you get ketchup stains on your pants uh how do
you get ketchup
stains out of your pants bill phillips uh woodenville uh washington you know it
happens because uh
we're a nation of fast food junkies and as a result uh ketchup stains on our
pants is a common problem
it happens to me happens to paul it happens to all of us on staff here at the
late show we happen to
have a man who's an expert at removing stains his name is pat farmer uh pat
where where's pat farmer
right pat oh hi pat how you doing good dave how are you now we have a question
about removing
ketchup stains from pants you're the expert you have a little demonstration
take it away
dave i'm going to use kenny kenny has a ketchup stain on his pants that i'll
use right now in this
okay great this will be good watch closely okay step one right soak a clean
washcloth in a combination
of seltzer and extra strength tide okay step two did you soak it pat i didn't
see a real i did dave
yeah it looked more to me like you dabbed it now you said you said soak is it
soak or dab well it's
it's soaked david it's a little extra wet now uh step two using the washcloth
rub the stained area
vigorously okay let's see how that works okay that stain's probably not gonna
come out not gonna come
out well you can't get them all out there you go it's nice try though pat you
know let's let's be
let's be realistic about this they're not all gonna come out yeah there goes
kenny's weekend
here's what we're gonna do this is something for the high school kid we thought
the uh alan webb the uh
mile record holder we thought he'd like this turn on the uh thing outside the
camera hey harold how you
doing my friend nice to see you what are you gonna do out there you got your
stagehand buddies with
you don't you yeah introduce the guys will you uh right here we have kenny sheehan
kenny tommy gordon
tommy john tudalow hi john jean schismansky jean bill palumbo yeah tom o'brien
right thomas
richards yeah patrick farmer nice to go nice to see you what are you guys going
to do out there
today uh harold well the boys and i are going to turn over a car you're going
to turn over a car
and we're not kidding around you notice harold has his work gloves with him so
if you're thinking of turning over a car at home don't be an idiot wear those
gloves am i right harold
yes sir because you can get hurt turning over a car bare-handed all right uh
thanks harold we'll let
you know uh the car they're turning over by the way if you have one in your
driveway is a 1996 ford contour
there it is combined sporty driving dynamics with the comfort and practicality
of a four-door sedan
i like the euro styling three thousand pounds
and the weather for the activity today it couldn't be more perfect 88 degrees
relative humidity 46
pressure is going down visibility 10 miles will be turning over a car i can
hardly wear this is going
to be fantastic don't you think the kid will like that sure it's right up his
alley absolutely
when are we going to turn the car over by the way well no we got to save it we
got to build
anticipation we got to get people hunger hungry for it yeah i'm hungry yeah i'm
going to stay up for
it myself you know what i'm going to stay up for it do we have time for one
more and then what do we do
what do we do after that when do we turn the car over huh no i don't want to do
it now what did i
just say i wanted to build up some you know it's like the best thing we have on
this is like the best
thing we've had all year like we're doing our own version of jackass on the
show tonight
that that johnny jim make that jump
that's the kid oh that's not that's the kid that's the high school kid that's
alan webb
might have fought out there that's the guy who holds the record in the mile i
can see why
we've got a great show marlon wayans is here alan webb coldplay
and sometime tonight during the program we'll be turning a car over out there
on 53rd street
Hey, Paul and Felicia, married last week in a quiet ceremony in the backyard of
friends.
Harold?
Yeah, Dave?
How about a little tease?
Can you and the boys-- now, of course, you're lifting with your legs, not your
back.
Am I right there, my friend?
Correct, yeah.
Yeah.
And before the owner comes back, just can you-- can you-- yeah, they're over at
a matinee
of last.
Yeah.
Made the mistake of parking on the street.
Oh, boy.
But just-- can you just lift it up a little bit?
Let's-- but don't roll it over.
Just tease us here.
Just about a foot?
Just lift it a little bit, okay?
All right.
All right.
Up a foot.
Ready?
One, two, three.
There you go.
You see?
That's right.
All right.
Thanks.
Nice work.
All right.
All my best for you and your men there, Harold.
Oh, yeah, ladies and gentlemen.
Welcome back to the show.
Okay, the car weighs 3,007 pounds.
Yes.
The combined weight of the stagehands, 1,825 pounds.
Wow.
So you see what we're working with there?
Yeah.
That weight ratio, stagehands to car.
What is it?
It's about two to what, isn't it?
Yeah.
Now, listen, guys, we're gonna be ready to go here any minute, okay?
Gonna be ready to go.
You didn't-- you didn't leave it in the locker room, did you?
No, we're ready.
Have you ever turned a car over before?
No.
Harold?
No.
Kenny?
Kenny, can you hear me?
You've turned him over, haven't you?
Yeah, we used to do it this morning.
Yeah.
Kenny's turned my car over.
We're ready to go.
I think we should--
Paul, can you have somebody go have the kid, the miler out there with the car?
Because I think he'd like to see this.
Can we send somebody to get the kid out there?
All right, I'll go get him.
Well, no, not you.
We have things to do.
Could somebody go get the kid?
All right.
Thanks, Paul.
All right.
Are we ready?
Turn on the thing.
Okay, Harold, this is gonna be it now.
We're gonna send the high school kid out, all right?
Okay.
I hope that this--
I hope this doesn't damage his amateur standing somehow to be out there while
you turn the car over.
I could.
It should be okay.
We'll just wait till we get the kid out.
Harold says it should be--
Biff is looking for the kid now.
Mm-hmm.
All right, now it's--
Here we go.
We're looking for the guy.
Yeah.
Because I know he--
You should see it, yeah.
He's upstairs.
Okay, great.
He's upstairs.
How much tape do we have?
Lots of tape?
Well, let's just sit here and wait, then.
We'll be talking.
Paul, how about a little retrieval of the young athlete music?
Very nice.
There we go.
Oh, there.
All right.
See that?
Yeah, of course it wouldn't take long.
The kid's just fast as lightning.
We--
I wish we had interns like this kid that just, you know--
Oh, there he is.
All right.
Okay, Harold, we're all set to go now.
Don't hurt the guy.
Now, does he belong, that fellow there?
Does he--
That's his car.
All right.
That's his car.
All right, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've been waiting for.
Here we go.
Take it away.
Ready?
One, two, three.
Let's go ahead and slow motion instant replay if we can, ladies and gentlemen.
You're not-- you're not going to see that a lot except on the West Side Highway.
There it goes.
See?
Drive that right home.
That car's fine.
Oh, look at this.
Oh, my goodness.
The in-car shot.
Wow.
Well, all right.
I think we've seen plenty.
We'll be right back with Coldplay, everybody.
Thank you, everybody.
Letter number three.
Dear Dave, are you disappointed that NBC has the Olympics this year?
John Louis, Los Angeles, California.
Oh, fix.
The fix is in here.
My God, the fix is in here.
All right.
The question is, oh, yeah, it's interesting.
NBC has the Olympics, and we can't get any coverage, any footage, because they've
got it tightened up.
You know, they spent a lot of money, like $4 billion for it.
But so, instead, we don't want to disappoint people tonight.
One of our stagehands, Kenny Sheehan, came up to me this afternoon and he says,
"I would like to recreate, live in the theater, magical Olympic moments."
Ooh.
Yeah.
So now, here we...
Tonight, he's going to recreate Simon Amon's victory in Sunday's ski jump
competition.
So this will be exciting, ladies and gentlemen.
Here's Kenny Sheehan.
Simon Amon.
Ski jump for victory on Sunday.
Wow, this will be good.
This is a big one.
This is a big hill.
Here we go.
Oh, look at that.
You've just got to be the jump of a lifeti