Name: The Secret to David Letterman's Storytelling, November 22, 1999
Uploaded: 2020-11-27T20:20:55.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Secret to David Letterman's Storytelling, November 22, 1999' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Secret to David Letterman's Storytelling, November 22, 1999' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-27. Transcript available.

How are you doing, my friend?
Marvelous. How are you?
I'm all right. How's your weekend?
Good. I had a good... I spent the weekend listening to world music.
Piazza... Charo, Piazza Dora, Joey Heatherton.
And that, to me, is world music.
Well, that's good, Paul. Thank you very much.
How was your weekend?
It was great. You know, here in the...
I don't know what the weather is like around the country,
but here in New York City, you know the government is controlling the weather.
You're aware of that, right?
And thank goodness, throw away your winter clothes.
It doesn't get cold here anymore, and it hasn't rained in several years,
but it's nice, you know?
So, on Saturday, as you do on Saturday,
I'm out running errands and doing chores and so forth,
and this is kind of interesting,
and I'm not exactly what this says about the society today.
I'm not exactly sure what it says about mankind,
but I can't believe that this is a good indication of anything.
I'm driving around, and I try to be a very cautious, very thoughtful driver.
Try to be very observant, you know, when I'm motoring around.
So, in the distance, I'm driving around obeying all the posted speed limits,
and I see a car, I see a car kind of very slowly kind of creeping over left,
and it creeps over right, and it creeps over left.
Finally, it stops right in the middle.
So, I think, okay, take your foot off the gas, apply it to the brake.
That's what I said to myself, you know?
So, I'm slowing down.
As I'm slowing down, now, the car is completely stopped,
and a guy gets out of the car, and it's one of these.
So, that's like the international sign for something, you know?
So, I think, uh-oh, uh-oh, I reach under the seat, I got my hand on my gun.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm ready to go.
If it comes without it, okay.
So, I slow down, and now, this guy, because he's parked his car in the middle
of the street,
he's got me stopped there, and he's got traffic coming the other way stopped,
and it's getting to be a little bit of a bottleneck, you know?
That's a traffic term.
And so, I'm waiting quietly as the guy approaches the car.
He comes right over to me, and he's one of these guys.
He comes out, and he does this.
He says, uh, that's roll down.
That's the international sign for...
This is what he says to me.
Uh, I'm, uh, looking for the Pressmans.
So, what, you created a roadblock?
You're just randomly stopping traffic, looking for the Pressmans?
I say, uh, what number have you got there?
And he says, uh, 209.
I can't help you.
Okay.
Okay.
Like, maybe I had a directory or something in the car?
Yeah, you got a white pages in there I can take a look at.
You found another one.
You found another one.
Wacky, ain't it?
I don't know.
You know, it's the, uh...
Big, dumb, puffy guy standing in the middle of the road.
Right.
You found another one.
Well, no, and more, I think he found me.
I guess they do.
But I, I, I spend my weekend cruising for idiots.
Well, I don't know.
You know, I don't run into guys like that.
I don't know how you do it.
You don't run into guys like that?
Every Monday, though, you come in with a story.
And it usually starts out with a guy going, oh.
You know?
I think you find them.
Yeah, that's right.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
That's true.
That's how they all start out.
It's, uh.