Name: Jack Hanna Collection on Letterman, Part 3 of 11: 1989-1993
Uploaded: 2021-04-25T16:14:37.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jack Hanna Collection on Letterman, Part 3 of 11: 1989-1993' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-04-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jack Hanna Collection on Letterman, Part 3 of 11: 1989-1993' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-04-25. Transcript available.

Jack Hanna Collection on Letterman, Part 3 of 11: 1989-1993

Thank you very much.
You know, Paul, I feel like tonight's show is almost too good for American
television.
I feel the same way.
Well, look at this lineup.
We have a guy coming out here with the animals from the zoo.
Always a guest.
Yeah, you can't go wrong there.
Can't go wrong.
And then we have Tamajanowitz.
Slaves of New York.
Yeah, exactly.
Fabulous.
And then great music.
Fabulous music.
Sam Moore.
Sam Moore, formerly of Sam and Dave, Junior Walker.
Formerly of Junior Walker and the All-Stars.
They've got some movie out now, I understand.
Yeah, Tape Heads.
Yeah.
There you go.
So, really, it's shaping up to be quite a show.
Too good, really, for American television.
Okay, I have an announcement to make if you're interested.
And even if you're not, I still have to make this announcement.
See, your interest has no bearing on the making of the announcement itself.
We're taking this show.
Myself, Paul, everybody else going?
Hal, are you going?
I think so.
Okay, Bill Wendell.
We're all going.
Gaines, are you going?
All right, she's going.
We're going to Chicago.
We'll be doing this show, this production, each night in Chicago.
And it's because of audience response like that.
That kind of support, we felt sure.
We'll be in Chicago Tuesday, May 2nd through Friday, May 5th.
We would like you to come and watch us do this program.
Jeez.
I can only guess what's taking place out there.
It is one of the camels, right?
Or is it Fatovich?
Okay, anyway, if you would like tickets to come watch us in Chicago, here's
what you do.
I guess you send a postcard.
Postcard?
Send it to Late Night in Chicago.
Wow!
Wow!
Is it all right for him to eat grapes, Jack?
Here.
Oh, he's eating a wire!
Here, try some.
Here, would you like some grapes?
She loves grapes.
This one loves grapes?
Hi.
Would you like some grapes?
What's this one's name?
Carol.
Carol?
Carol, yeah.
Who's this one?
This is Cracker Jack.
This is the one you rode several years ago.
Oh, this is the one?
Yeah.
And this is the baby?
New baby, seven weeks.
Yeah.
Hi, how are you?
I don't know.
She likes the grapes.
Wait.
Camels stink, don't they?
All right, Jack, I haven't introduced you yet.
Go back.
I haven't introduced you yet.
Just get out of here.
Anyway, if you would like to come see the show in Chicago,
here's the address.
Late Night, that's us, in Chicago.
Care of NBC Post Office Box 4681.
4681.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Watch out.
I can't watch out the porch.
I don't know.
Hi.
Hi.
New York, New York, 1-0-1.
0-0-4-0.
What are those, Jack?
Grapes?
Oh, God.
These are just little...
Our first guest tonight is a man who, if there really is a zoo in Columbus,
Ohio, might actually be its director.
Please welcome back to this program, Jack Hanna.
Jack, come on.
Good to see you. How are you?
These are your first animals?
This one is the daughter of that one or the son of that one?
This is Cracker Jack, and it was born about seven weeks ago, and it's a dromedary
camel.
And Tom Smith, this camel, you'd think it was from Africa, probably.
Well, I wouldn't have guessed, no. I'm not sure where.
Well, not many people realize this, but some camels are from Australia.
And Tom...
Well, this one has a strange interest in, like, metal tubing and wires and so
forth.
It's like teething.
Oh, I see.
What are you feeding him, garden hose?
No, no, no.
He actually, he's nursing on the mother.
If you look at her chest, her breast...
I don't want to.
Now, this one is a dromedary?
Dromedary. One hump, bacturine is two humps.
And this was, what, a dramamine?
Well...
I like it.
That's pretty good.
Yeah, this is...
Okay, well...
Okay.
All right, what's next? Are we done with these guys?
Well, they just... Yeah, they'll go out in just a second.
I want to show you something, Dave.
Let me show you this thing here.
Oh, my gosh.
Where's my...
What kind of bird is that, Jack?
Where's my hot dog?
Where's my hot dog? I don't have my hot dog.
You had a hot dog?
I had a wiener. You got the wiener?
I didn't get a hot dog.
Ooh, look at the...
That's an awful-looking beast there.
Okay, I'm sorry.
Yeah.
Here, hold the wiener.
All right.
Now, I want people...
If I can...
If everybody can look in the camera,
look inside the snapping turtle's mouth.
You'll see a little thing like a little worm.
See it? See it?
Look at there.
See it, Dave?
Yeah, what is that?
Now, act like your hot dog is a wiener.
I mean, act like your hot dog is a fish.
I'm sorry.
Act like the hot dog is a fish.
Now, don't...
Go hold the end...
Hold the end of the wiener
and act like it's swimming in front of his mouth.
I'm going to act like it's a fish stick.
Is that all right?
That's okay.
All right.
Don't...
Hold the end of the wiener.
Well, I...
That's it.
No, no, he...
He should bite the wiener.
I want to show you how quick he is.
He's lightning fast.
Am I doing something wrong, Jeff?
No, I don't know.
I don't know what happened to the wiener.
Boy, but this would make lovely Christmas cards,
wouldn't it, this picture here?
I just want people...
No!
Jeez.
See?
Yeah.
Wow, they're not...
Yeah, that's a snapping turtle.
You see, a fish swims by
thinking that little thing's a worm
and it grabs it.
Bam.
Wow, no kidding.
Yeah.
So this would be on the bottom
of like an ocean or a river or...
Look at the rivers.
These are from the United States.
They can live to be 100 years old.
It's incredible.
Look at this thing here.
It'd be great in your pool, too, wouldn't it?
Look at this thing.
Wow.
Now, you can hold this.
I don't want to hold that.
This is a skink, a shingle-back skink.
It's like a new item at Dunkin' Donuts.
Experimenting with a new kind of cruller.
No, no.
Hi, how are you?
Care for some more grapes, honey?
There you go.
Anyway, Dave, this thing, look at this.
Look at the tail and the head, exactly alike.
Yeah.
Isn't that amazing?
And nature has designed it that way for protective reasons.
Yeah, look at that.
So when the predator comes up and grabs it, it takes its tail and eats the tail
and it
goes away.
It grows right back.
Well, it doesn't right back, but it's wild.
It regenerates?
Exactly.
Well, a little bit, a little stub.
Yeah.
A little stub.
Okay.
Now, look at this turtle here.
This turtle here, this turtle here has the longest neck of any turtle in the
world.
This is snake-neck turtle, and it's the longest neck of any turtle in the world.
Look at this turtle.
Now, who's doing that?
Thanks a lot, Chip.
Is that the camel?
Bye.
Thanks, Chip.
Thanks, Chip.
Tell Tom, thanks a lot.
Look at this, Dave.
Look at this.
Look at this.
The party's no fun when the camels leave, is it?
Have you ever seen anything that long?
Let me see that, Jack.
Look at this.
Look at this.
This camel, this turtle, this...
You called that a camel, Jack.
I know.
I'm trying to remember everything I'm doing right now.
I know.
Yeah.
It's very confusing.
They're in the same family, I guess, aren't they?
No, they're not in the same family.
This is a snake-neck turtle, and...
Where is it from, Jack?
This is from New Guinea.
Are you sure?
It's New Guinea.
Yeah.
It's the Pacific, the South Pacific somewhere.
Yeah.
It's New Guinea.
It also swims in the water, and they eat these turtles.
They hang them up.
Like, see this right there, and they usually hang them up, but it doesn't bite.
What do you mean they hang them up?
Well, they capture them and eat them and, you know...
Oh, after they've been, yeah.
Yeah, after they've been...
Have you ever eaten turtle meat?
Being a zoo director, probably not.
I bet you've been called that, though, a few times, haven't you?
I would think so.
Yes.
All right, we have to do a commercial, and then we'll be right back.
Thank you.
Jack Panna.
What is that, Jack?
You've heard of conch salad?
Yes, I have.
Look at that thing coming out of there.
That's a conch.
That is the conch?
Isn't that amazing?
Look at his eyeballs.
I saw a man...
Are those actually his eyes?
His eyes.
And some of these natives, they actually put it up and suck his eyes off, and
then they
eat the thing, eat the conch.
I don't believe you.
Well, I'm not going to do it.
They dropped it out of their shell, if you can see it.
Now, I thought that the conch itself was a different-looking shell.
Oh, it's bigger.
It grows real big.
Like a big...
But this is...
This is a conch.
When you see it on the menu and so forth...
That's it.
That's what you're eating right there.
That's not true.
It's a bigger, round...
I saw men jerk those things out of there and eat them all.
I saw it in my own eyes.
Dave, look at this here.
You won't believe this.
You ever heard of the sea cucumber?
You're just nuts.
No, look...
Oh, man.
Wow.
This is...
Just look at this.
You heard of sea...
Those are living organisms?
This is a living sea cucumber from the bottom of the ocean.
Uh-huh.
And what they do, like if the dolphins eat them, and what happens is the
dolphin comes up?
It pukes its guts out, and the dolphin...
Like right here.
Now, this animal actually does that, and then it goes, and the dolphin eats
that.
You can hold this.
You can hold the sea cucumber.
I don't know.
I'm not going to hold it.
All right.
But for the purposes of the layman understanding this, try and keep the
technology a little
more simple, if you will.
I got one thing I got to show you.
You won't believe this.
This is special.
No, I...
I'm the fastest animal in the world here.
Fastest animal in the world?
Fastest animal in the world.
That would be an impala.
No, it's a...
It's a mammal.
Well, I didn't say that.
It's a cheetah.
I thought...
I thought an...
Oh, my gosh.
That's beautiful.
Now, has this one been here before?
No, never.
This is Catherine Helker from the Cincinnati Zoo.
Hi, Catherine.
How are you?
So you're not with the Columbus Zoo?
I'm with the Cincinnati Zoo.
Oh, great.
Maybe we can get her from now on.
Would you mind coming to New York like once every six weeks?
Dave.
This is going to thrash.
Come on.
Great.
Good.
We'll look forward to that.
But this was born in Columbus, Dave.
It was born in Columbus?
Yeah, and then we gave it to Cincinnati Zoo, and they've done a great job.
Wow.
It's purring, isn't it?
Yeah, can you hear it?
Or is that you, Catherine?
Put...
Put your...
Put your hand.
Let her lick your hand.
Is that all right to do that?
Yeah.
What did you say the cheetah's name is?
The cheetah's angel.
Angel.
And it's the fastest cat in the world.
And tame?
Well, tame isn't the right.
Catherine works with cats.
Doesn't want to lick you.
Doesn't want to lick me.
Is that a bad sign?
She's just looking around.
I know what it is.
Yeah, it's a sea cucumber smell.
Yeah, it probably is.
Because cheetahs eat me.
Look at the shadows under the eyes there.
If you notice, there's shadows under the eyes.
Not getting enough sleep?
No, that's from looking at the sunlight.
I also have a red-tailed hawk.
That's a beautiful animal.
They can get me a red-tailed hawk out here.
Isn't that a beautiful animal?
But it actually resides in Cincinnati.
They have a great zoo there as well, don't they?
Oh, it's one of the finest in the country, yeah.
It's right down from Columbus, about 75 miles.
I know where it is.
Are you getting a piece of their action, too?
No, no.
Okay.
Look at this.
This is our red-tailed hawk.
Well, this is not a good idea to bring this bird out here with this cat, is it?
No, as long as she stays on it.
Are you sure?
Put it on your arm, Dave.
Hi, how are you?
Which zoo are you from?
That's okay.
God, my toupee.
Watch it.
Okay, that's...
Yeah, we have to go.
But will you put it on my arm and something happen?
Maybe you have a glove on there.
I don't know.
I don't have a glove.
I should have known to bring my gloves into work today.
Oh, yeah.
I know what you can hold.
You can hold a little starfish.
I don't want to hold any of it.
Why don't you show us what it does, and we have to go.
All right, great.
That's beautiful.
Thanks, Jack.
Nice to see you.
Thank you very much.
Nice meeting you.
We'll talk later up in the office.
Thank you very much.
Oh, Jack, your hand's so slimy.
Okay, we'l