Name: Jack Hanna Collection on Letterman, Part 4 of 11: 1993-1997
Uploaded: 2021-04-25T16:44:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jack Hanna Collection on Letterman, Part 4 of 11: 1993-1997' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-04-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jack Hanna Collection on Letterman, Part 4 of 11: 1993-1997' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-04-25. Transcript available.

Jack Hanna Collection on Letterman, Part 4 of 11: 1993-1997

Thank you Bryan! Good to have you here. Come back anytime. Now there you go,
you see?
That was great. If you're coming to see the show and you have the tickets to
come and see the show,
some nights the best part of the show takes place during the commercials. That
was great Bryan, thank you.
All right, our next guest is the host of his own syndicated TV show, Jack Hanna's
Animal Adventures.
Let's get ready to rock! This man is a friend to all creatures everywhere. From
the Columbus Zoo,
folks, please say hello to the Charles Grodin of zookeepers.
Rockin' Jack Hanna. Jack, come on out here!
How you been? Good, good. Welcome to the new place. Boy, you got animals
everywhere. You got something
crawling up your back there, Jack. What the? Let me, let me just get that for
you.
But seriously, what is that thing? That's my Titan bug from Australia.
Really? It's an insect? Yeah. Well, he's going to claw one of your eyes out.
You better get rid of him.
You're going to hold. He's going to ruin your hair weave. These are finnick foxes.
You got their squirrels. Yeah, those are squirrels. Those are great squirrels.
Those aren't squirrels.
No, they're finnick foxes. Where are they from? They're from Sahara Desert. You
know,
the fox, rumble, the fox. Oh, rumble, the desert fox. Exactly. And this is...
Are they full grown?
We call this one Spock. Uh-huh. And this one Ross, the big ears. Oh, that's
cute. And don't get
squirrely on me, you know what I mean? It could have been Siskel and Ebert.
Yeah.
Is it a good idea to mix animals out here like this, Jack? I noticed you have...
He's going up your
nose now, Jack. Look how fast this goes, though. Where'd he go? What's the
matter? Oh, my goodness.
Where is he? Wow. Are they all right? Now, Jack, are you going to be able to
get him back?
Somebody call the zoo. They're going to be missing a fox. Where is he?
That's all right. Oh, yeah. Leave plenty of food around for the rats we already
have in this place.
Stop throwing that stuff around. Just have a seat. Okay.
You won't believe these birds, Dave, I've got tonight.
Where are the birds? Well, Jack, if I were the director of the zoo, I'd do one
animal at a time.
All right. Take the fox. Look at these birds here.
Oh, my goodness. What is that? Good heavens. Look at this here.
Now, Jack, do you want me to hold it? Hey, geez!
Now, let's call this bird. Okay. You won't hurt you, I promise. You won't hurt
you.
All right. I don't want to be hurt. You won't hurt you.
This will be screwed.
This is what happens when everybody goes on strike at Busch Gardens. It's just
bedlam. Now, Jack, you've just...
You won't believe this bird. He's almost 80 years old.
This is just something you made up in the shop, isn't it?
This is a rhino hornbill. Can you imagine?
A rhino hornbill.
It's gorgeous, isn't it?
And they eat bananas.
You'd think he weighs a lot, wouldn't you?
Well, as far as birds go.
Yeah, I mean, it looks like he weighs a lot. He doesn't weigh a lot, does he?
Because birds are mostly air, bones and feathers.
Yeah.
So, the viewer, I want him to know it doesn't weigh a lot.
That's very thoughtful of me to point that out, Jack.
Birds don't weigh that much.
Probably one of the reasons they can fly.
He's a genius, isn't he?
I forgot. He told me I had to put the glove on if he beats.
All right, now look out, look out.
Okay.
No, you won't believe this.
Give me the gloves, Jack. Jack.
Stop it.
Hey, look at this now. This is a vulture.
Now, look at this.
One animal at a time.
All right.
Look at this here. He's living.
Want to feed him?
No, I don't want to feed him.
And what do you have hanging?
And plus, you've still got this thing crawling on your arm.
Look at this, Dave.
Look at amazing how he eats.
But, you know, you start mixing animals up like this,
it's a sign of the apocalypse.
The world will end right here tonight because of this.
No, it's nature.
Anyway, I want you to know the reason he has a bald head,
so when he sticks his head in the cavity,
the guts get all over his head.
See, and he doesn't get it all in his head like that,
and he can wash his head off.
Wow.
Now, where do we...
This right here, Dave, before we get going here.
Oh, one minute.
We better take the kinkachu back.
Polly wants some entrails?
Polly wants some entrails?
Dave, this was a kinkachu from South America.
Well, then we didn't even see that animal.
I know. I have to bring one more on.
This is from the same place as this is from.
Uh-huh.
That's a kinkachu, a honey bear.
Oh, I see.
Okay.
It's prehensile by its tail.
Now, look at this.
All right, let's get all the animals who have been on,
let's get them out.
Watch it, Dave.
Swing it around in your head a couple of...
That's it, Dave.
Watch this.
This cat here.
Watch this cat.
This cat has leaping...
This cat can leap eight feet in the air.
Now, watch.
Well, I don't think it's a good idea to be teasing the jungle animals, Jack.
I'm trying to show you how quick he is.
This is a servo cat.
Yeah.
What kind of cat is that?
A servo cat.
Boy, that's amazing.
Where did they come from?
What did he get there?
What's he eating?
Is that one of the birds?
Did he get a bird, Jack?
Did he get a bird?
Oh, yeah, argue with the cat, Jack.
Good idea.
Yeah, just reach right in there with your hands.
Did you see how fast he was?
Yeah, I did.
I saw he was very fast.
Watch this one.
Wow.
He's almost cat-like.
This cat was in the...
This cat here was...
This cat here, Dave.
This cat here.
This was the Egyptians on the hieroglyphics on the walls.
Uh-huh.
This is called a servo.
They have big ears, as you can see, and a short tail.
This cat was domesticated by the Egyptians.
Wow.
You see how fast they are?
Yeah, we've seen how fast they are, Jack.
Aren't they beautiful?
Yeah.
All right.
They're very rare.
They're endangered cats.
Okay.
Now, here we have an assortment of some sort of guts and bananas.
They like liver.
They love liver.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Jack?
You never mess with an animal.
Just get him away from here.
You never mess with an animal.
Why do you eat it?
I don't want to be filling out accident reports tonight.
You remember that beaver.
All right.
All right.
No, no, where are I?
Jack, do you have...
Watch.
Get the leash on that one.
Do you have more animals?
No, I'm done.
I'm done.
Look at how quick I am.
All right.
We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.
Okay.
We're going to get back in here over the weekend with a tranquilizer gun and
take care of some
of this stuff.
My thanks to Jack Hanna.
Good to see you again, Jack.
Thanks a lot.
And Brian Adams, of course, and Charles Grodin.
On Monday, Sylvester Stallone and Melissa Etheridge have a lovely weekend.
Thanks for watching.
Good night, everybody.
Look, folks, we've put out this lovely party platter for our next guest.
Isn't that beautiful?
Oh, man.
There you go.
Our next guest is the director emeritus of the Columbus Zoo in Columbus, Ohio,
which I believe
is the capital of the Buckeye State.
He is also the host of his own television show.
Here he is, ladies and gentlemen, with nothing but animals, our good friend,
Jack Hanna.
Jack, come on.
Okay.
Jack, welcome to the program.
You have, you have, easy.
You have a thumb stuck.
Is that a camel there?
Oh, it's a camel.
What's the difference between a camel and a dromedary?
A dromedary, dromedary is a camel.
It's just a different type of camel.
And what type is this?
This is a dromedary.
The same way that Ford makes Mustangs and Pintos.
Is that what you're saying?
Just put this on your shoulder.
This is the worst mugging I've ever been a part of.
Jack, what do you, I haven't got him.
Jack, I haven't got him.
What'll I do?
There, that worked out just fine, didn't it?
No, he's, he's, he's.
Hey, my wallet's gone.
The camel got my wallet.
Usually, you go hard to people.
What do you want, Jack?
I want to show you how he's prehensile.
Prehensile, that means he uses his tail, is that what it means?
Yeah, how he lives in trees.
Okay, now, but maybe, maybe what we need to do, Jack, is bring the animals out
one at a time.
I think there's something on your coat to smell.
Putting them on an arc?
He doesn't like your coat.
All right, that's fine with me.
But, uh, come back here, come on.
All right.
How'd the camel get up here?
Well, you, it came out with you, Jack.
Well, I'm going up there.
Look at this thing here now.
Uh-oh, look out.
Watch this thing.
What is that, Jack?
This is a cantaloupe.
Now, see, I'm...
The director emeritus of the Columbus...
No, no, no, don't be kidding around, because this animal has a little bit of an
attitude.
I heard him growling, and when they put him up on the desk, he banged his snout.
So he's not happy to be here.
No, he's not.
So all the little cantaloupe and the grapes in the world aren't...
No, he'll run after this and catch it.
Okay.
He's thinking about it.
Attaboy.
Jack, why don't you run after it?
Why don't you just go over there and get it?
Sean, let me try the penguins.
This is the cougar.
This is a mountain lion.
But see, he's making that noise again.
The last great cat we have in North America.
This is the one...
It's a beautiful animal.
This is the one that killed the lady in California,
if you remember, about six weeks.
Not this one, but the one like this.
This is also the one that attacked the campers.
This is serious stuff.
The same one?
No, it's the different...
This is the kind of cat it is.
It's different.
No, no, these are for the penguins.
Stop it.
Well, now, Jack, it's irresponsible.
It's irri...
Oh, my...
Thank you, Sean.
Thank you very much.
Nice to see you.
Look at these birds here.
How much did we spend on those melons, by the way?
Oh, these are little penguins, huh?
Aren't these neat?
Those are cute.
These are from the South Pole, Jack?
Well, yeah, you're right.
A lot of people think of penguins as warm weather...
or as cold weather.
These are warm weather.
There are 17 species of penguins.
Four of them are cold weather.
These are warm weather.
Now, can I feed the fish?
See if they'll come out for the melon.
Boys, we got a melon.
Here you go.
Nice work.
And to do a commercial, we'll continue here with our friend, Jack Hanna.
We'll be right back.
All right, Jack Hanna here from the Columba Zoo.
Over here, ladies and gentlemen, we have a New York City cockroach.
Came right out of somebody's apartment.
Look at this.
Wait, don't do that.
That's a baby alligator.
That's a tiny little alligator.
Right, from Gatorland.
Gatorland.
It came from this egg.
Came from this egg.
Jack, do you have a piece of Gatorland?
No, I'm not sure.
He's a buddy of mine from Gatorland.
What's your name, sir?
He came up here.
Tim Williams.
Nice to see you, Tim.
Truck that thing is...
Anyway, show them how powerful...
How old is that alligator there?
This one's about seven years old.
If you can go ahead and show them how you can keep...
You can hold...
You want to do it with your two fingers.
No, I believe I have an idea that it's a powerful...
Doesn't take a whole lot.
Now, what's he doing there?
Well, that's...
To show you that you can keep his mouth shut.
Now, watch.
Uh-huh.
Now, watch what happens when he opens the mouth.
If you can...
You can get your camera and go right down his throat.
I mean, not the camera, but to put the picture.
Oh, my God.
Now, look at the teeth in there.
You can see that.
Hmm.
Can you see that thing right there?
Well, that's his tongue.
Yeah.
Now, if you watch what happens, the power is like...
A hundred and...
Now, what you can do...
Okay.
Wow.
Now, why would you want to do that?
It shows the crushing power of the gator's jaw.
I think we know that gators have crushing power.
But you know, really, now you know better.
Yes, we do.
Yeah.
Oh, you wouldn't think something this little could do there.
Stop putting that in my face.
Thank you very much, and good luck getting a cab.
Dave.
Looks like we're getting ready to shoot the volleyball commercial.
Look at these tigers.
They're beautiful.
Huh?
I gotta leave the gator there, so come back here, t