Name: A Bill Scheft Anecdote on David Letterman
Uploaded: 2021-04-27T00:50:48.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'A Bill Scheft Anecdote on David Letterman' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-04-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'A Bill Scheft Anecdote on David Letterman' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-04-27. Transcript available.

Now one time, and this, this reminds me, you know, Jack Hanna,
who is a tremendous guest and we love.
And so he's on the show one time and, you know, Dave,
and I'm not telling you anything that anybody doesn't know.
Dave Letterman, nobody harder on himself than Dave Letterman.
So Dave is it's Jack. And it's a great segment as always. And this and that.
And Jack brings out like some kind of Python or something.
At the end. And he says, you know, this, this snake is, you know,
this snake is worth like $60,000 and you know, Ooh. So now, and that's it.
That's the pie. So the segment ends, he leaves.
So I go up to Dave and I say, 60,000, how much to lease?
And Dave laughs. And then he goes, damn it. Damn it. Why didn't I think of that?
And he's beating himself up for the rest of the show.
And he keeps looking at me like he's, he can't believe that.
It's like, well, you've got a lot going on.
I'm just under the stairs here.
Right.
Five years later.
And, and, and many, many Jack Hanna appearances later.
Jack Hanna comes on. He's got, I don't know.
He's got a cockatoo or a mongoose. This is, this is very rare.
You know, this is like, like $75,000. And Dave says, how much to lease?
The audience explodes. And Dave just looks over at me.
I waited. I waited. I couldn't believe it. Yeah.
But that's the genius of Dave Letterman too. So.
Yeah.
All, all day to day I've been thinking about this.
Right.
Decisions. They have to.
Look at this one right there.
He's got a decision to make.
This one would like to go that way.
Exactly.
That one would like to go this way.
So therefore they don't go anywhere.
Oh my gosh.
This is terrible.
Yeah.
It's like being married, isn't it?
By the way, it's, um, they're really, they're Mary Kate and Ashley.
But I call, I call them.
Turtle D and Turtle Gump.
It's Mary Kate and Ashley.
That's what the young man just told me.
Now what, what variety of turtle is this?
This is a red-eared slider.
Remember when your little boy had pets?
We don't do that anymore.
Because you can get salmonella.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Now how about this one?
You get a double dog's hair salmonella.
Exactly right.
Could you go into it?
Look at this, they're walking.
They haven't walked in a long time.
Really?
It's amazing.
I'm serious.
Oh my gosh.
Now what would that cost to get the two-headed model?
No way.
Really?
You couldn't pay me $50,000.
Is that right?
Well, it's not my turtle, but it's his.
So you'd be better off leasing?
Probably.
I've never...
It blows your mind, doesn't it?
It really, really does.
I sit there all day looking at them.
Yeah, well...
That answer's a big question.
Well, there you go, Jack.
Unbelievable again.
Nice job.
And your new show, Jack Hanna's "Into the Wild."
Yep.
"Into the Wild" premieres later this year.
Oh yeah, it's gonna be something, too.
Oh, we're looking forward to it.
Thank you very much.
Thank you so much.
Jack Hanna, ladies and gentlemen.
We'll be right back with Katherine Heigl.
We'll be right back with Katherine Heigl.
We'll be right back with Katherine Heigl.
We'll be right back with Katherine Heigl.
We'll be right back with Katherine Heigl.
We'll be right back with Katherine Heigl.
Thank you.