Name: A Taste of Tom Snyder on his 85th Birthday
Uploaded: 2021-05-12T04:02:31.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'A Taste of Tom Snyder on his 85th Birthday' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-05-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'A Taste of Tom Snyder on his 85th Birthday' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-05-12. Transcript available.

I'm just folding up tonight's giveaways.
I'm going to give it away early tonight.
Tonight, you do not have to ask.
Good evening, folks. I'm Tom.
This is the ColorCast now for Wednesday night.
It is the 20th of July, 1994.
Joining us along the way tonight, we have the great Richie Havens,
who has been making America listen for many, many years
and is with us tonight as an extra special guest star.
Also tonight, the legendary Linda Gray, one of the stars of Dallas,
and Michael Gaskill, now the stars of a program on the Fox Television Network
about models that is getting all kinds of exciting attention.
So that's our show for tonight, along with merchandise for you, the home viewer.
Uh, anybody call today?
No.
No calls, huh?
Did you call anybody?
No.
What's going to happen?
I have absolutely no idea.
Well, we'll just keep waiting, huh?
Yes, sir.
Just keep reading the papers.
Yeah.
Isn't it a little late in the day to offer a reward?
I say no more, but isn't it just a little late in the day?
Anyway, in another matter in the news, and several of you faxed this in here
today,
this is the story about the fellow who got stuck in the swimming pool.
And, uh, God must have loved the stupid because he made so many of us, okay?
Here is a guy in Lakeland, Florida, who was in a swimming pool at 345 in the
morning with his pants down,
and he got himself stuck in the suction valve of the skimmer of the swimming
pool at a motel in Florida.
Now, you really have to be awfully desperate at 345 in the morning, you know,
to, I mean, you know,
you're really going to be in tough shape to jump in the pool.
And from personal experience with jacuzzis, never mind.
But you can figure it out all by yourself.
But can you imagine?
For heaven's sake, incredible.
Anyway, um, I want to talk to you here tonight about, about coffee cups.
We, we don't have any more.
And the reason is Bob Newhart.
And I did not know this until yesterday, but Newhart and his people went out of
here
with, I think, eight cups the other night and a bottle of 12-year-old scotch.
I mean, they just come in here and they take like we're, this is not Kmart, you
know that.
So today I said to Kelly, I said, Kelly, I said, uh, how are we doing on mugs?
And, uh, he said, they're all gone, we don't have any more.
He said, don't promise mugs, even if people ask, tell them that we don't have
any more mugs to give away.
I said, well, where did they all go?
He said, Newhart, cleaned them out.
Now, I saw Newhart at lunch today.
I said, Bob, he says, I'm not responsible for my people.
So, there are no mugs tonight.
However, here's what we have.
A fellow sent in here today, remember I remarked the other night about the
contour pillow?
Yes.
You know, we run this spot so often, you would think that they would send a few
in here for us to try out and test.
Michael Antino, who is the exec vice president of the company that runs the
commercials here on our program, sent in today five cases.
Count them, five cases.
Now, there aren't that many in a case because the contour pillow is a rather
large item.
We have three of these, and we also have two ties to commemorate the landing on
the moon 20 years ago.
No, no, more than that.
25.
25 years ago.
You know, having been on the phones again all day today.
Yeah, okay.
These are the Apollo 12 and Apollo 15 ties.
So, when you call tonight, specify contour pillow, that would be regular queen
or king.
Or Apollo 12 or 15 tie.
We have about six prizes tonight, and when the supply is exhausted, it's all
over.
But I, you know, don't want you to have to beg when you call in here because it's
ridiculous.
We also have the Ritchie Havens Cuts to the Chase, the brand new CD right here.
So, if you want that, so specify.
So, again, it's contour pillow would be number one.
Press one.
Apollo tie, press two.
Ritchie Havens CD, press three.
And we'll get it on the mail to you.
You know, QVC might be coming here.
And we're going to be ready for them.
Jesus.
Also tonight, I'm on the dead of Senator John Glenn of Ohio for sending in here
a commemorative mug
commemorating the 20th anniversary of man's first landing on the moon, July 20th
of 1969,
with the commemorative stamp honoring John Glenn as the first American to orbit
the Earth
and with his signature on the mug and a cancellation replica of the stamp
marking the walk on the moon.
So, that's a nice little keepsake to have, huh?
Oh, don't drop it.
And we're not giving this one out.
That's button four, and it's locked tonight.
The tie that I wear tonight, by the way, comes from NASA, I believe.
And this is a tie which commemorates the flight of the Apollo 11 spacecraft 25
years ago.
Stay right there, Ray.
I'm going to flip it over because on the back it has, you get your Apollo 11
certification there.
And, of course, if I weren't on TV right now, this thing wouldn't be hanging in
front of it.
I'm trying to keep the Apollo 11.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This tie shows, incidentally, a microscopic view of a lava sample returned by
the Apollo 11
and the droppings of an aardvark on the moon.
Anyway, Richie Valens is here tonight, and Linda Gray is here tonight.
And we have stuff for you, the toll-free viewers, the toll-free callers.
I have no idea what I'm saying.
Settle back.
I've certainly enjoyed my color, Tini.
You might as well have yours.
We'll be right back after these messages.
Get off of me.
Mary Madeline and Jane Wallace, equal times free-winning hosts, give a whole
new meaning to party politics.
And this is a terrific picture.
Mary Madeline's got a great smile, and Jane's got that I-don't-care look, you
know, point-counterpoint look,
which is so effective, you know, as they do on their program.
And this is a wonderful magazine cover for Mary Madeline and Jane Wallace.
And I'm happy about it.
Now, here's my magazine cover.
Jesus.
I mean, it looks like I'm going to mug the folks, for God's sake.
Yeah, Dr. Death, right.
Yeah, we always thought he was back in Fort Lee.
He's here.
Dr. Death is in Burbank.
I can't stand it.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Woo.
What a difference a cover makes, huh?
Unbelievable.
Wow.
Woo.
What's on the back of here that we can...
Oh, nothing much.
What's there?
Butter cookies.
It's that Crisco.
No.
Although the party's coming up, you know.
That's right.
He, he, he, he.
He, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he.
Keep warm, which is why you have all those ovations, you know what I'm saying?
But, man, it was cold in there.
But it's so neat.
I went in there with, uh, with, uh, with Andy Friendly, you know, my, my, my
friend and
my boss back in, uh, Fort Lee, who's a big Letterman fan.
And they take you to a little side door in your limo.
They send you this big limo.
They got, man, they got vodka and scotch right there in the car for you.
Yeah.
And you don't have to drive.
It's great.
No, I didn't touch the stuff.
And, and you go in the little side door and they have all these young folks
standing there
and they're asking old Tom for his autograph.
It was great, you know.
And they give you a little round of applause and, hey, Tom, we love you.
That's the whole thing about New York that's so great.
People on the street, they tell you that they love you.
And there's something very, very captivating about that.
So, anyway, thanks to the Letterman people.
Thanks to all the folks at CNBC for the terrific week.
Especially our pal Alice Hurwitt, who is our producer back in Fort Lee and who
works on our behalf.
Sometimes in very lonely surroundings.
And, Alice, I know that, that, that you sometimes think we don't think of you,
but across the miles, I tell you, we think of you often.
And we hope that you'll visit us here in, in, in, in Burbank before too many
days go by.
Tomorrow night we have the lady who is the voice of Bart Simpson.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You notice Jay gets big, long ovations and mine are just colder.
That's the key, right?
Yeah.
Thank you.
Thank you.
The lady who is the voice of Bart Simpson.
And also tomorrow night, Jack Daniels Whiskey and the Kentucky Derby.
And, and somehow they go together.
Thank you all for watching.
Stay tuned now for Bob Berkowitz and Real Personal.
And we'll see you back here tomorrow night.
Same time, same station.
Here's looking at you, kid.
And we'll see you back here tomorrow night.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.