Name: SCTV Cast Members on Letterman, Part 2 of 12: 1983
Uploaded: 2021-08-03T18:04:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'SCTV Cast Members on Letterman, Part 2 of 12: 1983' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'SCTV Cast Members on Letterman, Part 2 of 12: 1983' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-03. Transcript available.

SCTV Cast Members on Letterman, Part 2 of 12: 1983

Thank you, gentlemen.
Let me explain something to you about this.
Tonight, not only do we have fine guests like Catherine O'Hara,
we also have Alba Ballard and her costumed parrots
and the Audience Academy Awards.
In most countries, they would force this into three different shows.
Here in America, I'm serious, in Czechoslovakia,
this would be three separate shows
and you'd be hunting for days in your TV guide to find all three.
But that's why this country is so darn great,
because one show, not only the Academy Awards for the audience,
Catherine O'Hara, but also Alba Ballard and her costumed parrots.
My first guest is one of the most talented comedy performers,
or as Paul says, performers, around today.
Her work on SCTV is certainly unforgettable,
and to remind you of how unforgettable it is,
let's take a look right now at some of the things she has been responsible for
during the run of that fine comedy program.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Catherine O'Hara.
You look very nice.
Oh, thank you.
Thanks for coming back.
I appreciate it.
Nice to see you again.
Thank you. It's fun.
It shows great.
I can't wait until we get in Toronto.
Oh, that's right.
We're going to Canada soon.
Yeah.
Now, tell me about that dress.
What's the material there involved?
Animals.
No, it's...
Cows. I'm sorry.
It's leather, isn't it?
Yes, it is.
Yeah, it's very nice.
Is that...
Japanese leather.
The cows were massaged.
Really?
Yeah.
Well, you look...
This is what I was told.
You look very nice.
Really?
They actually said this is Japanese leather in the cast?
Yes, they massaged the cows to make it pretty soft.
What are you doing now that you're not on the program, are you?
No, I'm not.
No, that's too bad.
What have you been doing since?
I've been sleeping a lot and auditioning, learning how to audition and trying
to do that.
Now, when I said too bad, I mean it's too bad because we miss seeing your work
on the show.
That's what I meant.
Oh.
Now, when you go out, it's hard for me to imagine you having to audition,
though, because that's a pretty good audition, what we just saw.
Well, I'm not used to it because I got in Second City in 73.
That's the last time I really auditioned.
And since then, it's all been work that I'd get.
I'd either do Second City or somebody would ask for me from the show and I
wouldn't have to audition.
But since I left the show, I've had to...
Actually, I got called to audition for a play off-Broadway and they asked me to
audition because they'd seen me on the show and they really liked me from that,
but they didn't know whether I'd be able to do a play or not.
What was the play, can you say?
It was called Middle Ages.
Oh, I didn't get the part.
But they were so excited to see me there and they really went out of their way
to track me down to get me to the audition
because they liked me from the show and I thought, why don't they just give me
the part there instead of making me audition?
But I got there and they were so grateful that I'd shown up and they kept
saying, thank you, thank you,
and talking about everything that I'd done on the show and they loved me and
then I read for them and blew it.
Now, what went wrong there?
I don't know.
I just was not used to auditioning.
Auditioning seems really unnatural to me.
What did you have to do?
It was a great part.
It was, it's a girl, it's four people and there are two parents and two younger
people.
It takes place in a country club and the two younger people go from the age of
14 to the age of 40.
And so I read two scenes, one where I was supposed to be in my 40s and one
where I was supposed to be 14 and I was just so stiff and I wasn't used to
being on a stage and having to move around.
And I was standing just straight for the whole auditioning.
At one point I thought, oh, I better move and I turned around and just walked,
moved right in a circle.
I had nowhere to go and just turned around and looked back at them and just the
worst.
So then somebody told me about this book called Audition, written by Michael Shirtcliff
and I still don't know what I'm doing with auditions, but this book is great.
An actual manual to help you.
It's great.
It's the best.
What kind of things do they suggest?
Well, he has 12 guideposts.
I shouldn't even, I don't even know what I'm talking about.
Now, what do they say about circling on stage like you did?
Is that anything you want to?
Yeah, it should have got me the part.
It should have worked.
That was the thing that should have worked.
No, they have, he has these guideposts and they're relationships and you're
just supposed to think about, you know, what you want from the other person.
And he says, always think that you love the other person rather than not liking
them or loving them.
Because if you go for something positive, that will give you so much more to
work with.
And, oh, I can't even explain.
The thing that was great about the book for me, I still don't know how to use
it exactly or how to audition, but it just gives you so much to think about
that you forget about yourself for a while.
Yeah.
And concentrate.
So have you had much luck since the book?
Oh, no.
I went and read for another film a couple weeks ago and there was nothing in
the book about what do you do if you show up and the leading man is there to
read with you and you think he's cute.
Yeah.
Who was the...
And you can't, I couldn't talk.
Who was the leading man?
I should...
No, you can say.
Yeah, I mean...
Yeah, I guess I couldn't make any more a fool of myself than I did at the
audition.
It's Steve Martin.
He did this.
They're doing a film.
Well, that would certainly make you jittery, I would think.
I thought I was really psyched up for it.
I thought I prepared, but he was the...
Arthur Hiller's directing.
It's called Lonely Guy.
It's a great script, but it'll be a funny movie.
And you know for a fact that you didn't get the part.
Oh, yeah, I know.
What nasty hussy did get it?
Do you have any idea?
I'm sure someone great who deserved it more than me.
No, you...
But I thought I did all right on the reading part.
I'm sure I didn't do well enough, but at least I wasn't too nervous about that.
But I just couldn't handle the conversational part.
Arthur Hiller was so nice, and he...
Oh, you mean just...
I can't believe I'm telling this.
I hope it's not watching.
You mean the reading part, the actual script reading, you did okay?
Yeah, I did.
Well, I thought I did all right, at least.
Better than I've ever done on this before.
And what's the other part?
It wasn't good enough for them, but...
But just the chatting.
And they were so nice, and they were being really funny and entertaining me,
and I was just...
And Arthur Hiller said, you're from Toronto.
You know, I was in Toronto.
I went to school in Toronto.
And I go, oh, really?
I don't know.
That's to me...
I gave nothing.
I was just...
I just sat there and gave them.
I don't know.
That's what I...
I would do that, pretty much.
Anyway...
There was one...
I'm sorry.
There's one scene...
It was all about an orgasm, and he's...
I shouldn't give away a scene, but he's doing something that isn't sexual,
really.
But it's turning her on, and this whole scene, you have to keep having orgasms,
and I just
couldn't.
I mean, I thought...
I couldn't do it.
This is a real movie.
You checked them out.
It's a real movie.
I think everyone auditioned naked.
I wasn't the only one.
No, I...
I just...
The more I tried to do, you know, lines like, oh, stop.
It's too good.
It's too wonderful.
I just...
All I...
I ended up sounding like my mother.
I couldn't...
I couldn't be natural trying to have an orgasm with this actor and these two
people.
And I was like, oh, stop.
You're...
Oh, you're wonderful.
We have to stop here for just a second, but we'll be back.
More with Catherine O'Hara.
Welcome back to the program, ladies and gentlemen.
Catherine O'Hara, obviously, is here.
Last time you were on the program, we talked about you staying up all night.
You do that a lot, huh?
Yeah, a little too much.
I keep the same hours as other people, just...
No, different hours.
I'll stay up till six in the morning and then sleep eight hours.
You'll sleep from six until...
What time does that make it in the afternoon?
I don't know.
You'll figure it out.
That'll be two, wouldn't it?
Six to noon is six and two is eight.
I guess so.
Yeah.
Now, that seems...
I'll believe you.
Now, what do you do all night?
Is this...
Are you working or...
Um, yeah, I'm trying to write.
I, after auditioning for a lot of things about getting them and getting offered
things I don't
want, I decided I'll try to write something.
Maybe that's the only way I'll get something.
And, uh, I've been, um, singing.
Singing?
Yeah.
I had a chance to do...
You had a record deal, right?
Yeah, I had a chance to do a record.
Actually, when they found out...
It was supposed to be a comedy album.
When they found out I was going to sing more than talk, they changed it to a
demo.
Now, what is the...
Now, I have a chance for a demo.
Now, what does that mean?
You get...
What is...
Well, you put, I guess, four songs or whatever you want to do on a tape.
Uh-huh.
And they either buy the idea or they don't.
Oh, well, still and all.
Now, you say you've been offered things that you don't want any part of.
Now, what are some of those?
Oh, I shouldn't say.
Sure.
No, no, just some films.
No, you can say.
Or I had a...
No, mostly, actually, most of the offers are very open, like a chance to do a
special
or, you know, a TV special.
You don't want to do a TV special?
I guess, someday, but...
But not today.
Well, that's, like, a pretty good deal.
Yes.
Don't you think?
Yeah.
I guess so.
What else?
Yeah, just things come up.
I guess, um...
Well, in February, we did a fun thing.
That my brother had this party for Valentine's.
He had one around Christmas, and we got this orchestra together and a bunch of
singers,
and we did, uh, sort of holiday songs at Christmas.
Then we did another one on Valentine's Day, and it was all romance songs.
And John Candy emceed the evening.
It was at the Palais Royale, a big ballroom on the Lakeshore in Toronto, where
my mom and
dad had the first date.
And, uh, we sang love songs, and, um, John Candy hosted, and Martin Short, who
was in
SCTV, sang, uh, Got the World on a String, and Funny Valentine, and...
Is that the kind of singing you do yourself?
I guess, well, I love old love songs.
Yeah.
I did, uh, I did one that was, um, it was a Marilyn Monroe song.
I've got my nerve.
And, uh, it was great.
The best part of it was the male backup on this song.
It's called Kiss, and the guys will go,
Kiss me, hold me, kiss, love me, take me.
Hold me.
Four guys in tuxedos did that for the whole song, and then near the end, they
go, this,
this is the moment, oh, thrill me.
And the girls, thrill me, thrill me, hmm, with your charms.
Take me, take me in your arms, and make my life perfection.
I'd buy this one.
It's a lovely song.
Very nice.
Thank you very much, Catherine.
Appreciate you coming back.
Catherine O'Hara, ladies and gentlemen.
We have to go away for station identification.
We'll be back to hand out more audience.
Thanks, Paul.
I, uh, I need to, I need to make one, one other announcement with the gentleman
who brought
the manta ray.
Please retrieve it.
We are not allowed to clean rays or skates.
Now, this is not our policy.
This is an RCA corporation policy.
Once again, my apologies for the inconvenience there.
Uh, my next guest is certainly one of the funniest people on television today.
When he is not appearing on this show, he can be seen on SCTV, also on this
network.
Let's take a look now and see a little bit of Martin Short in action on that
program.
Ladies and gentlemen, watch the monitors, and at home, as always, use your
television sets.
Has this ever happened to you?
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mr. Martin Short.
Martin, how are you?
Nice to see you again, sir.
Well, that's, uh, that's very funny.
Thank you.
That's really nice, 