Name: A Tony Mendez Retrospective on Letterman, Part 1 of 7
Uploaded: 2021-09-19T21:04:14.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'A Tony Mendez Retrospective on Letterman, Part 1 of 7' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'A Tony Mendez Retrospective on Letterman, Part 1 of 7' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-19. Transcript available.

A Tony Mendez Retrospective on Letterman, Part 1 of 7

Tony, put down the cards.
Just put down the cards.
Let's, uh...
Want a drink?
It's a little cloudy.
Looks like Manny Ramirez's urine test.
Ha!
Now, what are you doing?
Tony and I are just going to have a cocktail.
Oh, you guys are having that drink.
It's a little eye-opener.
Sure.
You deserve it.
You deserve it.
Your health.
Here we go.
Mmm.
Hey.
Oh!
Oh!
*cough*
*cough*
*cough*
*cough*
*cough*
*cough*
*cough*
*cough*
*cough*
*cough*
*cough*
"Eww, that's ink!"
*cough*
*cough*
*cough*
"Dear Dave, which does Tony Mendez like better, New York or Cuba? Daniel Lazar,
New Britain, Connecticut?"
Well, it's a good letter, and it's not a bad time. Tony Mendez, our cue card
boy, Tony Big Ink Mendez, Inky Mendez, is originally from Cuba.
There, he's right there. And we've never really talked about this before, but
Tony, why don't you take a second here, and which, which do you like better,
the United States or your homeland of Cuba?
Well, Dave, let me explain a few things. I was born and raised in the small
communist island of Cuba.
We all dreamed of the day when your country would be destroyed by Russian
missiles so we could come to America and steal gum and cookies.
*cough*
When I was six, I escaped Cuba and entered your country illegally.
I wound up in New York despite the fact that I can't find it on a map, and I
barely speak a word of English.
*cough*
I've never been to a Yankees game, and I can't tell the difference between the
Statue of Liberty and Vanna White.
*cough*
*cough*
Damn it, New York! I want to be your senator!
*cough*
Tony Mendez, at least he's kinda from New York, paid for by the Tony Mendez
Bull Senate Committee.
*cough*
Pretty good.
Take a bow!
Tony Mendez, take a bow! There he is! Take a bow! There he is!
*cough*
Are you going to the wedding?
Yes.
But they told me I can't eat until after the ceremony.
I think that's just as well.
*cough*
*cough*
Yes sir, what is your name?
William Clough.
William Clough?
Uh, Clough, yes. Charlie, C-L-O-W.
How do you spell that last name, William?
Huh?
C as in Charlie, L-O-W.
C-L-O-W.
William Clough, like clown without the N.
Yes, sir.
William Clough.
Clough.
Where are you from, William?
I'm from around the Washington area.
In the Washington area, and do you work for the government?
I know many people who live down there are employed by the United States
government. How about you, sir?
Yes, I work for the federal government.
Oh, is that right?
Could you tell us which agency?
I'm afraid I can't really answer that, sir.
Uh, what can I do for you, Bill?
I was wondering if you could tell me a little bit about your cue card person.
Tony Mendez.
Tony Mendez has been with us. How long have you been with us, Tony?
About eight years.
About eight years.
He's a very nice man.
And one other note of interest, I think, Tony was born in the country of...
Cuba.
Cuba, that's right.
And Tony and his family, you left when you were how old?
Fifteen.
Fifteen years old.
They left Cuba.
That's right.
So he was born in Cuba, and he's been with us about eight years.
Yeah.
Thank you.
It's him, boys.
Let's go.
That's right.
That's right.
That's right.
That's right.
That's right.
That's right.
That's right.
That's right.
That's right.
That's right.
Wow.
Very impressive.
Uh...
How did you find your cue card boy, Tony Inky Mendez?
Tony Big Ink Mendez.
Kimberly Wren, Spring Valley, New York.
Tony's been with me a long time.
We go back a long time.
Don't we?
How long have we been together?
Ten years.
Yeah.
And how did we find...
You know, that's...
I'll tell you, that's an excellent story.
Here.
Here's exactly how I found my good friend, cue card genius, Tony Inky Mendez.
Tony Big Ink Mendez.
Aw.
You like working here, Tony?
Yes.
It's fun, ain't it?
I made a beautiful Christmas tree.
Yeah, you did.
You made a lovely Christmas tree.
Oh, by the way, don't get up.
Uh...
And that's...
They teach you that in the Cue Card Academy.
Yes.
Sitting or squatting?
You gotta have good knees.
Yeah.
Not standing, sitting or squatting?
Yes.
Sitting or squatting.
A big night, ain't it?
How many times have you been married?
Don't get married, Dave.
I've been married once, you know.
You were?
Yes, yes.
Just once, once?
Ten years.
Oh, yeah.
It lasted that long.
We, uh...
How many times have you been married?
I've been married three times.
My last husband...
Run 'em down here.
Who do we have?
Eddie Fisher, singer.
Right.
Second husband was Harry Carl Schumann.
So I have a lot of old records and old shoes.
No money.
Somehow the money goes.
And then my third husband recently, I was married 12 years.
Well, Eddie was five years I was married.
And then he went down the Nile.
Then, uh...
There's some material coming in, I think, huh?
A little bit.
I shouldn't do that.
That's great.
I'm supposed to be dignified tonight.
No, it's fine.
It's fine.
They told me.
Debbie, you're an actress.
You should be dignified.
But you own a casino now, for heaven's sakes.
I do.
I bought a hotel in Las Vegas.
And that ended my marriage.
So I kept the hotel.
Wow.
This is big time stuff, though.
It's fun.
It's fun to have your own little place to be.
You know, I love the stage.
A little place to be?
It's eight acres.
It's a money machine.
It's a money machine.
Yeah, it is.
Well, good.
Good for you.
And I can't get fired because I own the joint.
Now, we have some pictures here.
Oh, my goodness.
And this was a production in 1972, I think.
'72.
'73.
Right.
Broadway.
Irene.
And this is you in the musical Irene.
Now, Irene was a big, big hit.
Yeah, it opened the Minskoff Theater in New York.
And ran for how long?
Two years.
Two years.
And then we toured it.
It was a really great show, musical.
Now, you know, we found out something very interesting about this
when we were talking about your appearance.
And, of course, about this photo.
And you know what I'm talking about.
So, let's see the picture again, if we could.
Okay, now, just go.
Teddy Pugh.
Let's go over there.
There.
Right there.
Who is that?
Right there.
This guy right there.
This is our cue card kid, Tony Mendez.
Ah.
Right over there.
Tony.
Thank you.
Tony.
That's his dad.
Yes.
Well, well.
Are you still dancing, Tony?
Are you?
Oh, is he ever.
Well, if he's your cue card man, he's dancing.
Here was something.
I guess this was at, like, a cast party or something.
But, look at this kid.
How old are you there?
I don't know.
20 years ago, at least.
Yeah.
So, what would that make it?
What are we talking about here?
Late 20s.
Oh, man.
Do you remember him?
Cute.
Yes.
Oh, you're so.
And you're still darling.
Good to see you, Tony.
Thank you.
So, from dancing, now you're doing the cue card band here.
Yeah.
She owns a casino.
I own the cue card band.
I own the cue card band here.
Yeah.
She owns a casino.
I own the cue card band.
I own the cue card band here.
I own the cue card band here.
Yeah.
I own the cue card band here.
I own the cue card band here.
I own the cue card band.
I own the cue card band here.
I own the cue card band here.
I own the cue card band here.
I own the cue card.
Yeah.
I own the cue card.
Yeah.
You smell like ink.
I run the show.
She smells like money.
It's great to have you here.
Thank you very much.
Thanks for having me.
I think everybody is delighted because the movie turned out to be lovely.
And I think people are very, very happy to see you back in the films again.
Well, we have the Golden Globes Award this weekend.
Good luck.
Good luck.
I hope things go your way.
Thank you, Dave.
Thank you.
Give my best to your daughter and also to Albert when you see her.
Albert, I will.
Yeah.
Debbie Reynolds, ladies and gentlemen.
It's the holiday season.
Do me a favor.
I want to introduce you to a man who has been with us here in the Ed Sullivan
Theater each
and every night since we've been on the air.
A nice welcome from our good friend, Tony Inkey Mendez.
Tony, come on up here.
Right here.
Thank you, Scott.
Thank you.
Thank you, Scott.
Thank you.
Thank you, Scott.
Thank you, Scott.
Thank you, Scott.
Thank you, Scott.
Thank you, Scott.
Thank you, Scott.
Thank you, Scott.
Thank you, Scott.
Thank you, Scott.
Thank you, Scott.
Thank you, Scott.
Thank you, Scott.
Thank you, Scott.
Thank you.
Check that out.
How you doing, buddy?
All right.
Tony Mendez right here.
Tony is the hard-working cue card guy, and you know I love you like a brother.
You know I think the world of you, don't you?
Yeah.
You and I are buddies, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, we get along pretty good, don't we?
Yes.
Yes, sir.
How long have we known one another?
Forever.
Well, no, not really forever.
How long have we known each other?
About 50 years.
About eight or nine years, something like that?
Yeah.
Eight or nine years.
And it's the holiday season.
First of all, Tony, tell the folks a little bit about yourself.
You've been in show business a long time yourself.
What did you do before you got the cue card gig?
I used to be a dancer on Broadway.
You used to be a dancer on Broadway, ladies and gentlemen.
You want to see if something you can do to the folks?
Yeah.
And that's what's wrong with Broadway.
Don't get me started.
And you were in a lot of musicals?
You were dancing in musicals?
Yeah.
What shows were you in?
Pippin, and Irene, and dancing.
Yeah!
Woo!
Bob Fosse, maybe, in the audience.
But it was fun, right?
Yeah, it was a lot of fun.
Okay, but now you're in television.
You're in a different phase of your career.
And because it's the holidays, and because everybody here likes Tony, or at
least say they do...
No, we do.
We do, we do.
We wanted to do something nice for Tony, and he came to me, oh, just right
around Thanksgiving.
We're all watching a lot of football here, getting ready to do the show.
And what did you ask me on that Thanksgiving day, Tony?
You said something you would like to try.
Yeah, I'd like to play with the Giants.
Tony, that's not exactly what you told me.
You wanted to learn something.
I want to kick the ball up there.
Tony said to me, he said, geez, I wish it'd be fun if I could try to kick a
field goal.
Yeah.
Right.
That's what I said.
Yeah.
It's a little, it's a little different than play with the Giants.
I can only do so much, Tony.
So anyway, that's exactly what we did a couple of weeks ago.
Tony and myself and the crew went out to the Meadowlands.
The Giants, not doing very badly this year, the Giants, ladies and gentlemen.
And they were nice enough to help us teach Tony how to kick a field goal.
Take a look.
Tony, this is Brad Deluiso.
How you doing, Brad?
Nice to meet you.
For your New York Giants.
And this is Danny Cannell, quarterback for the New York Giants.
Tony, you guys are professional football players.
Tony was a chorus boy.
Yeah.
So now he's going to be a kicker.
Well, take a look.
See what you can do.
Chorus boy, right, Tony?
Yeah, that's right.
Or a sissy.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, you know, that was nice.
That was not a bad first effort.
I'm a little out of shape.
Yeah.
What can you tell the kid?
Anything?
He was a chorus boy, you know.
Yeah, he needs a little work on his technique.
Uh-huh.
And I draw a straight line down the middle of the uprights with the kicking
foot.
Right.
Steps over.
There you go.
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
I can't have that on there.
Ow.
Ow.
Okay, I think we're making real progress now.
I mean, everybody is warmed up and you have the proper equipment.
Go ahead, just try another one.
Well, there you go.
You know, that's encouraging because you got that one airborne.
Is there anything you'd like to show the boys now?
You mean like, uh, dance stuff?
Yeah, something.
You want to kick another one?
No.
No.
And this will be good.
You watch Brad kick another one.
And then, and then also, we'd like you to kind of call it.
You know, if it's good, if it's not good.
Sort of like, you know, like the referees would.
All right.
You know, in 1971, I was in Irene.
That was a show with Debbie Reynolds.
Got our champion choreographed that.
It was great.
Then, right there.
Then I went into Pippin.
That was my favorite show.
Bob Fosse choreographed 