Name: Miley Cyrus' Halloween Party and Jerry Seinfeld at the Comedy Store | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2020-04-16T16:00:18.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Miley Cyrus' Halloween Party and Jerry Seinfeld at the Comedy Store | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Miley Cyrus' Halloween Party and Jerry Seinfeld at the Comedy Store | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-16. Transcript available.

Seinfeld didn't... Mitzi didn't like him for some reason. Said he was not funny,
but something that she didn't like. Maybe he was too clean or something? I don't
remember.
Seinfeld told this story himself. This is from his mouth. He came back to the
store probably
five years ago, four years ago, and he hadn't been in forever. He told this
story. He said,
"The reason I hadn't been in so long is Mitzi told me that basically I wasn't
good enough or
wasn't funny enough for this place." I just toured and did other comedy
elsewhere, and then
he got the show. Seinfeld became a massive hit. One of the biggest...
Arguably the biggest comedy hit in the history of television. They used to have
a house on
Kings Road, or the Queens Road house. That's where Mitzi lives.
Jerry bought a house above their house, literally, just above the house, right
up on the hill above
the house. And he said every day he would drive in one of his Porsches down to
CBS Radford,
and he would slow down on purpose to see if any of the shores were outside, to
say hello, to let
him know, to let them know, "Oh, I'm just... I'm just coming from up there.
Just coming from above,
right above you, going back down." You never went into Mitzi's house, huh?
No. You know, what used to happen was when Mitzi was sick at the end of the
first run of the first
time she got sick, Sean Halpin, who is a comedian, used to live in my apartment
with us, used to live
with us. You were roommates. It was temporary. No, not really, because we had
two roommates and he was
just kind of living with us for a short period of time until he was going to
get a new place.
And Sean invited me a few times to go. He's like, "Do you want to go over there?"
He used to help her,
like a bunch of other comics, help her with a lot of stuff that I don't want to
mention,
because it's nobody's fucking business. Yeah.
But I couldn't do it. It's just something about it gave me the... I couldn't go
over to her home
and be while she's really sick. And I never saw her like that.
It's imagine... It's like... And I love Mitzi, but it's imagine... Because I've
been to her house maybe
10 times in my life, okay? And it's almost as if... You know how... Because we
opened up with castles and
bards, this podcast? Yeah, yeah.
So imagine in a world where there was a kingdom or, you know, and there was a
king, but they always
have a sage, right? Or a wizard, right? Imagine just living amongst the peasants,
right? Sure.
And then some guy in a cloak comes up to you and goes, "The wizard, like, would
like to see you."
Right? And then you went to the wizard's tower. I love it.
Right? And you don't know what the... Because you don't know anything about
wizardry. You're scared of it.
You're scared of magic. You're just a peasant.
Yeah.
You're making rice and wheat or whatever, right? That's what you do, right? And
then the wizard
tells you some sort of, you know what I mean, spell or new concoction, or he
does some sort of trick,
right? And then you're scared. You think you're going to die, right? Or, you
know what I mean,
you don't know why he wants you there. Right.
Right? That's what it was like.
That's what it felt like.
Because when you walked in, the walls of her house were black, like the comedy
store.
Yeah.
You thought that, you know what I mean, maybe there's some sort of like reasons,
comedy-wise, why the club is all in black.
Right.
Right? Do you ever think that? Because you go to any comedy club, it's usually
brick,
and there's colors.
Well, there's some sort of texture to everything.
Right.
Yeah.
But the comedy store is completely black.
Yeah, it's pitch black.
The ceiling, the ceiling's painted black.
Right. And also like maybe red, neon.
Loved red.
Right. So it's almost as if like, it's like Darth Maul's costume.
Yeah.
It is.
Yeah, yeah.
It is.
It's like Darth Maul's costume, the comedy store.
But her house, but then she had a room where people would go in there and
massage her
that was completely pink.
All pink.
Yeah. So imagine going through a blackish house.
And then there's this room that's brightly pink.
Wow.
And she's in there.
So it was one time I was at Thanksgiving with my-
Pauly goes, dude.
Pauly goes, dude, you got to have Thanksgiving with the family, right?
And I go, no, Paul, because I'm with my brother, Steve,
and we're going to go somewhere else.
I think we're going to go to the Stinking Rose.
We're going to go to the Stinking Rose, so we already have a place.
No, dude.
Nah, bro, you got to come over, right?
And they had already ate.
Like dinner was over.
Well, no, I mean, they had started eating at 2:00 and now it's 4:00.
But you know how you go to a white people's Thanksgiving and the food's still
out?
Yeah, it's-
It's cold.
Well, no, we leave it out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You have to keep-
Don't leave it out.
It's for seconds.
Don't leave it out.
They just keep eating it.
Don't leave it out.
So my brother and I go over to the house and we have our plates.
And we're putting this cold turkey, you know what I mean?
Yeah, and you know what I mean?
And the cranberry.
And Mitzi's sitting at this table, wooden table, right?
Around, circular table.
And the only two seats that are open, right, are next to her.
Damn.
Right?
And so I'm like, I can't go.
I have to sit there.
Right.
So I'm sitting there.
I go, how's it going, Mitzi?
He's like, good, happy Thanksgiving, right?
So I'm just talking to my brother.
I swear to God, this happens.
And I hear this.
I'm eating.
I hear this.
This noise.
Right?
Yeah.
And I go, what the fuck's that noise?
When you ever hear a noise like that, you wonder.
Yeah, what is it?
Yeah, yeah.
And I turn over and look at Mitzi.
Her foot is on the table.
Shut up.
And her nails are so long.
No.
Her foot is on the fucking dinner table?
Yes.
And she's doing this?
On the fucking table, right?
No.
Try to enjoy a cold turkey dinner.
With fucking, you know what I mean?
Cold gravy and cranberry sauce.
Ew, what did you say?
What are you going to?
You can't see shit.
Do you try it?
You just put your foot up and try it right next to her.
No, because my nails aren't long enough.
Her nails were like, you know how old people,
they just fucking grow it.
And they curl.
Curls around the fucking toe.
Yeah.
So she was doing that with it.
And I looked over and I look at Mitzi.
And I looked back at my brother.
And then all of a sudden, like,
there was a countdown in my head.
Of how long you did.
When to get out.
Yeah, when to get out.
Yeah, so that was.
How long did you stay?
I think for another 15 minutes.
And you were like, we got to go.
We have to get the fuck out.
Yeah, we got to go.
Yeah, we had reservations somewhere or whatever.
But yeah, that was like.
But that's kind of like going into the.
You're going into the.
The Queen's Palace, right?
But like many things,
you don't know that you don't really want to be there sometimes.
That's like all those things.
It's like when you get to meet someone or go to a cool house party,
you think it's going to be cool.
Yeah.
It's always the opposite of what you want.
Yeah.
I always thought the one time it turned out to be what I thought it was going
to be,
to be very honest.
How many years ago?
God, I don't know.
Seven, maybe?
Six?
Seven?
I went Miley Cyrus somehow through unexplained events.
We went to her house for her Halloween party.
And in my mind, I was like, this is going to let me down for sure.
Like without a doubt, I'm going to have an idea of this and it's going to be,
they're going to know that I'm a nobody and kick me out.
It's just before you go, it, a comic always has that thought.
You have to.
We don't feel like we belong.
We feel like it's almost a fraud to me.
I always, you're a fraud and they're going to tell you.
Yeah.
Like in your mind, you know, somebody's going to go, why is he here?
Yeah.
I feel like, and the whole party's going to go, oh, why are you here?
Like.
Yeah.
I remember just real quick, Delia and I were at a CAA Christmas party.
And his first opening line, Delia, Chris Delia, successful.
Yeah.
Very.
You know, he goes, hey, do I look like I belong here?
No.
Yeah.
Was this recently?
A couple of years ago?
Maybe a year ago.
Wow.
And I'm like, yeah, you're fine.
Do I look like I belong here?
He's like, yeah.
But it's like, that's, and that's when I knew that we all have.
We all feel that way.
Yeah.
We all feel that way.
Yeah.
So go ahead.
Miley Cyrus.
Miley Cyrus is having a Halloween party.
Yeah.
We get invited through a friend of a friend because of whatever.
Nobody's business, but I show up and I'm not kidding when I say the backyard of
that girl's
house was exactly what I thought it was going to be in my fantasy head.
Insanely fun.
People were naked.
People were having like, there was like a food fight.
Yeah.
It, it was, it was like a, was it a wrecking ball?
It felt like a movie.
That's what she came in on.
But it felt like a fucking movie.
Yeah.
She had all these little areas set up so you could hide out and get high and
party with
people and drink and do, it was just such like a fantasy island place.
Yeah.
Like Epstein's Island.
It was similar to that kind of fun.
Epstein's Island.
Like little kids running around.
Oh.
No, it was just, it was so free and fun that I just, it was exactly what I
wanted it to be,
but thought it would never be.
But that was the only time I've ever gone to a celebrity's thing and gone.
Holy shit.
This is a party all night long till four or five in the morning.