Name: What's Wrong with 90 Day Fiancé? | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2020-04-25T21:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'What's Wrong with 90 Day Fiancé? | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'What's Wrong with 90 Day Fiancé? | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-25. Transcript available.

We're bad friends.
Do you watch 90 Day Fiancé?
Love.
Alright, so when we watch it, I always tell her, right?
Because you know Ed and that Rose?
Love Ed.
Right, Ed and Rose?
Yeah.
I always tell her, fucking her, I go, you're fucking lucky, aren't you?
Yeah.
Right?
You could have been Rose.
Yeah, you could have been fucking Rose.
Did you see the pictures of Ed when he was young?
No, was he hot?
What?
Was he hot?
Dude.
Let me see.
Ed from 90 Day Fiancé when he was young.
If you guys know what I'm talking about, he's Mayonnaise Head.
He got, they call him Mayo Head.
Mayo Head, yeah, yeah.
Look at this.
This is Ed when he was young.
They posted these pictures online.
This is him when he was young.
Look at that.
Good looking dude right there, right?
There's two more that are-
Yeah, but the neck is-
Hold on.
There's two.
Those aren't the ones that-
Let me see the neck.
Hold on, hold on.
Well, this is him.
Look at, this is him.
With Mayo Head.
This is Big Ed putting Mayo in his fucking hair.
That's Mayo Head Ed.
Yeah.
Look at that neck.
Yeah.
It's as if he got into a car accident and his head
hit the windshield and it didn't break.
You know, like it just squished him down.
Yeah.
But look, there's young-
I want to find these young pictures.
They got revealed online.
Somebody that he's friends with on his personal Facebook page
apparently put up these old photos.
Look, look, look.
This is him right there.
That's it right there.
Look at this.
Look at that fucking photo of this guy.
Oh, shit.
Hold on.
Look at how good looking he is right there.
You're right?
Is he good looking?
Yeah.
Isn't that crazy?
Yeah, he's pretty good looking back then.
Yeah, dude.
That's a good looking fucking guy.
It surprised the shit out of me.
That's the same guy.
That's the same guy.
Wow.
Right?
And then this is him too.
They have one more that I-
Wow.
One more.
He's holding his daughter in one of these when she's young.
Yeah.
There it is.
And look at that.
Yeah.
The neck isn't as bad.
By the way, we shouldn't make two-
But look at his legs, though.
Well, look at him now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is what I look like when I'm taking a shit.
Yeah.
When I'm taking a shit, that's what I look like.
Sweating, straining, folding.
This is also what my penis looks like when I get out of water.
You know what's sad about that show?
It's the catfish ones.
Like that black lady-
So many of them are catfish.
Oh, my God.
Or that one-
Wait, and her boyfriend's name is-
It's like a plural.
It's like Matthews.
Yeah, Matthews.
What is it?
Williams.
Williams.
Williams.
It's not William.
It's Williams.
Yeah.
Or that one guy that went to the Ukraine, right?
Seven years he hadn't met the woman.
Seven fucking years he still thinks she's coming out of the woodwork.
This guy's never met this girl.
And seven years later, he thinks she's going to show up.
And he spent $100,000 on just a fucking site.
Yeah.
Yep.
Right?
No video.
No videos.
No.
Only chat.
Only chat.
Only chat.
Yeah, only chat.
If I was his friend,
But here's the problem.
Yeah.
You can't tell a guy like that.
Yeah, you can.
You can't.
Oh, yeah, you can.
No, because a guy like that thinks there's hope.
No, no, no.
What would you say?
I'm him.
Ready?
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm him.
Ready?
Like, what's up, Bob?
You wanted to meet today?
Yeah, dude.
Number one, all right?
I don't even know why I'm friends with you, dude.
What?
We've been friends since we were in school.
I understand that, but we're friends, right?
Are we not?
We're best buds as far as I'm concerned.
Yeah, and I love you, right?
I love you too.
Right.
See this on my hand?
Yeah.
It's called a gun.
Oh, my gosh.
Yeah.
Why do you have that?
If you get on that fucking flight, I'm going to fucking kill you, dude.
All right.
Got to catch my flight.
I mean, somebody's got to talk sense.
He doesn't have family members to pin him down and go.
Here's the problem.
Bro, dude.
These guys never had anything.
They never had love, so they think this could be the one.
These guys never had a normal interaction with a woman.
This guy thinks this is the one time he's going to finally win.
That's heartbreaking.
It's so fucking heartbreaking, but I can't not stop watching.
I have to watch.
I have to watch him fail.
And you know who my favorite?
You know when they watch when they-
Because we're not caught up, so we're only how many episodes?
We're only four episodes in.
Okay, well, how about this?
You know there's another show where they watch the other members, past members,
watch the
show from bed.
You've seen that, right?
Yeah, I've seen that.
Yeah, yeah.
And then my favorite one is what I can't remember.
He's the fat Buddha belly guy, and she's the Pelopino girl.
You know what I'm talking about?
Yeah, yeah, I know.
I've seen that.
They're my fucking-
She makes me laugh so hard.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The show is phenomenal.
If you haven't seen it, people at home, you should watch it.
You should watch it, yeah.
We're totally caught up with it.
Well, this guy, too.
You know, all these guys are, I feel bad for almost everybody.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, so that guy right there, right?
Yeah, this guy that goes to Moscow.
His whole claim is like, I think she's using me.
That's, yes.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
That's the fucking exchange.
That's the show.
We all know what this exchange is, right?
I can't get, you know what I mean?
I can't get what I need.
Need here.
You can get what you need.
You want to come here, right?
Swap it up.
We fuck.
Swap it up.
Right?
You give me puss puss, right?
I'll give you a card.
Citizenship.
Citizenship.
Yeah.
Who gives a fuck?
Yeah, well, that's like, we don't care in America when an old guy dates a young
woman.
It's the same thing.
It's a trade-off.
Yeah, yeah.
They get what they need.
I don't think it's right.
I don't think, I think that this dude right here, the Russian guy, that he can
get girls here.
Well, so what is his deal then?
Why does he good, he's, because he's good looking.
Is this guy good looking?
No?
Yeah, yeah.
Look at her face.
No, but he's not ugly.
No, he's not ugly.
He's okay.
He's what?
He's okay?
Yeah.
Yeah, he's okay.
Yeah, but he's not ugly.
There was a girl in his hometown that she's like, yeah, I mean, what's wrong
with me?
And he's like, I'm gay, and I have to run away because I have to hide the fact
that I'm gay.
Or no, it's just that it's like, it's too easy.
No, I don't think that's it.
I think he's got some weird, he needs a, I think he needs a, I think he needs a,
he needs a, he needs a control thing.
She gets here, right?
That's very bright.
Yeah.
It's a control thing.
It's a control thing.
Yeah.
The other girl is a real relationship.
She can leave at any time.
Right.
This guy gets this girl to America.
She's stuck.
They're stuck.
Yeah.
By the way, to go through this process.
Yeah.
They have to live together for a certain amount of time.
They have to prove that they're staying together for a certain amount of time.
Otherwise, she loses the citizenship.
So he knows and she knows they both have to weigh all these like elements out.
She's not dumb.
So she's like, I still want to get to the States.
I don't care what it takes.
He can be like, well, I might get drunk and hit her one time.
She can't leave.
Yeah.
She can't leave.
Especially, I wanted to tell her.
Through the screen.
It's like, it's not as if he lives in Nashville.
Where does he live?
He lives in Tennessee, but like.
In the boondocks.
A little bit.
Yeah.
Right.
So I wanted to say that, you know what I mean?
Lady, it's just woods out there.
Well, that's where he can kill you.
Yeah.
This is the girl that you were talking about.
Rose.
That's Rose.
I always look at fucking Juliana.
Yeah, Jules kind of looks like Rose.
I know.
And I go, you got here, right, without any of this shit.
Yeah.
You should be grateful.
Are you grateful?
Yeah.
That's pretty impressive.
That does kind of look like you a little bit.
Yeah.
When you smile, let me see.
Let me see your smile.
Look at that smile.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do that same face that she's doing.
There it is.
That's it.
That's it right there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But the thing is, is like this too.
It's like when he was asking her about like, I want you to take an STD test.
Yeah.
He asked her he wanted to get tested.
Bro, you're not, you haven't had pussy in a decade.
Get a little bump that's on your dick.
Who cares?
Who fucking cares?
A couple of bumps and an itch.
Also, an STD test.
He goes, I want you to take an STD test to make sure that you weren't with
other partners or whatever.
How about you take a test because your neck is like that.
What if he.
Yeah, you take the test.
Yeah, you take the test.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because you look like this.
But also, why doesn't he just, why wouldn't you just, if she said no, if he
said, well, do you know about your sexual status?
If she said no, why wouldn't you just go, well, we'll just wear a condom then.
And if she was like, I don't want to wear a condom, then just go, okay, well,
then we should just get tested.
No.
Fucker.
No condom.
I'm agreeing.
I'm saying, if it was that big of a deal to this guy.
Yeah.
What was he scared of?
When you look like that.
Yeah.
Right.
And you have a 23-year-old girl.
Mayo Ed.
Throw the dice.