Name: Andrew Santino Can't Believe Bobby Lee's Confession | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2020-06-11T16:00:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andrew Santino Can't Believe Bobby Lee's Confession | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-06-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andrew Santino Can't Believe Bobby Lee's Confession | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-06-11. Transcript available.

- We're bad friends.
- What people don't realize about me is that,
yes, you're more physically able than I am.
- Fact.
- Right?
- Yeah.
- You're more physically able than I am, right?
- Oh yeah, oh yeah.
- And then you probably have,
I'll admit, you probably have more survival skills
than papa.
- Yeah.
- Right.
But what you don't realize is that--
- Have you ever camped?
Have you ever camped once?
- My, one time I did when I was a kid.
- Where did you go?
- I don't know where,
it was somewhere like in Yosemite or something,
but like not in Yosemite, it was like a town.
- Near it.
- Near it.
- Right.
- And then I remember my cousin Andy and I woke up in the tent
like at 5:30 in the morning and we looked out
and my uncle and my dad's tent, gone.
- What do you mean they packed up already?
- Gone.
And so that, me and Andy, we're like what?
11, 10, nine, 10.
- We're scared.
- Yeah.
- Andy, the bears got them.
And around 9:00 AM, we're just shivering in this tent.
We wouldn't leave.
- Scared.
- We see my dad's car roll up.
They slept in a hotel.
We go, okay.
You have fun?
They were like, who are you?
Oh no, the holiday inn, we slept, it was too cold.
It was too cold and we're hungry.
- That's good.
They made you men.
- Yeah, no.
- They turned you into little men.
- And I go, I hate camping.
- That was it.
- Yeah.
- Will you camp with me?
- I swear to God, you'll love it.
- I would camp with you if it was vlogged or if we filmed it.
- We'll shoot it, it'll be so fun.
You'll love camping.
- But I don't want to waste the camping with you.
I need to be filmed.
- Have you ever pooped outside?
- I poop outside now.
- Huh.
- Yeah.
- You have bathrooms.
- What?
- Have you ever pooped outside?
- I poop outside now.
What I pooed, I'll tell you where I pooed last.
That's outside my house.
- Yeah.
- In the back seat of my Prius.
- Stop it.
In the car you still own?
- Not even in the bag.
All over the seats.
Who's cleaned it?
Did you clean it?
No, yeah, Kalilah cleaned it.
- Why did you do that?
- What do you mean why?
I had to go.
- Get out.
- No, I love that movie.
- You pooped in the car?
- I was on, where was I?
I was on the 101.
It was traffic-y.
- Traffic-y, you're right.
- Is that a word?
- Yeah.
- Lot of traffic.
- Traffic-y sounds more fun.
- Yeah, it's traffic-y.
- It was traffic-y.
- And I have what I call...
- Irritable bowel syndrome.
- No, I don't have that, right?
I have, I gotta go now syndrome.
- It sounds like you.
- I gotta go now syndrome.
- I think that's the same thing.
- I don't know.
- But that's what I have.
- Are your bowels irritable?
- No.
- Do they get upset easily?
- But it comes on sudden, like...
- That's IBS.
- Like 9/11.
- That's IBS.
- It is?
- That's what irritable bowels are doing.
- We're on 9/11, like, you woke up, what's going on?
- That's you.
- Yeah, that's me.
- Except your pants are the buildings, and shit is the plane.
- So I'm on the 101, and it's traffic, and I'm just, what was I listening to?
I was listening to something good.
I always do.
- You were listening to, oh, you were listening to Pat Benatar.
- Yes.
And I'm listening to Pat Benatar, and all of a sudden, oh, I'm going to shit in
the next
12 seconds.
- Your body just goes, "Yo, hey!"
- Yeah.
- It wakes up.
- I was just trying to get off the 101?
- I get off the 101, but now, the hole.
- You're dilating.
- My star, my brown star, right?
There's not a turtle head sticking out, right?
Not a turtle head.
- No?
- But sheer water, acid-y water.
- Yeah.
- It's bubbling out.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.
- It's about to erupt.
Yeah.
It's like the Hawaiian Islands, before they were the Hawaiian Islands.
- It's a big one, yeah, it's Mount St. Helens.
It's poop, poop, poop, poop.
It's waiting.
- So then I go, oh, I gotta just pull over right now.
I pull over right now.
I just stick my ass, right, from the driver's side, right?
Sit on it.
I pull down my pants, and I just spray.
- All over the backseat?
- Into the backseat.
- Can you name some people that have ridden in the backseat of your car
into the microphone right now?
Just name off some people that you've driven around.
- Whitney Cummings.
- Whitney Cummings.
- Chris D'Elia.
- Chris D'Elia has been in the backseat of your car.
- Sure.
- Hmm.
- And then people are driving by.
- Yeah.
- You know what I mean?
And I'm like looking.
- Is anybody honking?
Is anybody like .
- No, because I did a clever thing.
- Yeah.
- And I parked in back of one of those gigantic garbage things.
- I don't know.
- In the back.
- Oh, in the back.
Oh, the bin.
- Yeah, but there was one on the side of the road.
- So what you were able to--
- And there was a construction thing going on, so there's a gigantic--
- You didn't just want to get out of the car and poop right next to one of the
bins?
- I couldn't even do that.
- You couldn't have get it?
It was like, "No, I can't get out.
I'm doing it now."
- Yeah.
- It was an emergency.
And then I pooed one time, I had Korean barbecue with my girlfriend.
We did one on 6th Street.
I want to say the place's name, but it's popular because it's cheaper and it's
all you can eat.
- 6th Street in Santa Monica?
- No, 6th Street in Koreatown.
- Oh, Koreatown, downtown.
- And as soon as we got out of there, we're driving down Western.
- Bubble guts.
- I pull over off of one of the streets in Western.
I ran to a man's house.
And Kalilah's like, "What are you doing?"
And I sprayed on the side of his house.
- Shit.
And Kalilah's screaming at me, "What are you doing?"
- What do you wipe with?
- Nothing.
- You get pants up?
- Nature's breeze.
- The air.
- Yeah, nature's breeze.
- Pants up, keep it moving.
- Yeah.
- Damn, Bob.
- So I have like those one-on-one.
Luckily, I've been in quarantine and when I have those episodes-
- You're right to the bathroom.
- I have three bathrooms.
- I gotta tell you something, dude.
- Are you a friend?
- Yeah.
- And your therapist?
- No, you're not.
- Mm-hmm.
- Go ahead.
- You have IDS.