Name: "My Worst Table Read Ever" or Why I'll Never Work With Will Ferrell and Amy Poehler
Uploaded: 2020-07-01T16:00:31.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '"My Worst Table Read Ever" or Why I'll Never Work With Will Ferrell and Amy Poehler' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '"My Worst Table Read Ever" or Why I'll Never Work With Will Ferrell and Amy Poehler' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-01. Transcript available.

We're bad friends.
Brooke Shields.
I said it.
Is what mean?
I fucking hate her.
Bing, bing, bing.
I fucking hate her, dude.
Wait, why?
Fucking hate her, dude.
What did she do, dude?
Dude, I fucking hate her.
Hey, Brooke Shields, what did you do, dude?
Dude, I hate ya.
What did she do?
So, um, and I'm gonna expose all kinds of people right now.
Because this story, I've always, like, kind of held in my heart.
Yeah.
But fuck it.
I don't give a fuck.
What did she do?
I'll tell you what she did.
I'll tell you what they did.
So, I'm on Mad TV, right?
Yeah.
And so, I get a call from Fox Television.
They go, hey, we want you on this other show.
What was the other show?
It was called New Car Smell.
What?
It's got a shitty idea.
Right.
It's got that New Car Smell.
Right, so it's...
Let me guess, it's a sitcom about car salesmen.
Yes.
Yeah.
Okay, it's called New Car Smell.
Bad pitch.
And, um, Brooke Shields is the star.
Okay?
Okay.
And, um, so, then I get a call going, you know, us as a network, we want you on
the show.
Mm-hmm.
But the showrunners don't want you on the show.
Why?
Because they want Getty Wananabi.
Oh.
You know who that is?
Yes.
He does, he was Long Duck Dong from 16 Candles.
Yeah, I, I, yes.
So then I just call, I go...
Is he alive?
Yeah, Getty's alive.
Okay.
And I go, um, I was a kid.
I was, what, 28 years old?
Yeah.
So I go, yeah, I don't want to do it then.
And they're like, it's a lot of money.
It's a great, it's a network prime time.
You're on a late night Saturday show that no one watches.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
You got to, come on, we want you.
Yeah.
So I go, who else is in it?
And they go, a couple of names.
Dave Attell.
Huge.
Right?
And then it was, um, you know who else had a couple, a guest star was Jimmy Schubert.
I love Jimmy Schubert.
So I love Jimmy.
So I go, yeah, I'll do it then.
But then, so it's the Cullen brothers are the showrunners.
The Cullen brothers?
Yeah.
So Rob Cullen, Rob Cullen used to hang out with Dice.
Huh?
And Dice, me and Rob Cullen went to Vegas one time when I was a kid.
I was 25.
And, and, and Dice lost hundreds of thousand dollars.
Dude, I've heard he loves gambling.
Yeah.
So Dice took me, he used to call me Ching.
So I was, I was working the back door and he goes, Hey Ching, you know, me and
Rob Cullen
are going to go to Vegas, get in the fucking car.
I'm working the back door.
They want to drive to Vegas?
No.
Oh.
I'm wearing a comedy store t-shirt and I have no money.
And I go, what?
I'm working.
No, I talked to the manager.
So I literally, no money, no clothes.
Right.
Just got in a car with them and drove to LAX.
To go to Vegas.
Yes.
What?
Yeah.
You, Dice, and Cullen.
Me, Dice, and this guy, Rob Cullen.
Okay.
So we go to Vegas and we're sitting at the blackjack, the high end ones.
And, and, and Dice would fucking throw down $10,000 hands.
$10,000 hands.
$10,000 hands.
Yeah.
He was making that kind of money?
He was a multi, multimillionaire.
I know, but $10,000 hands is insane.
Yeah, it was crazy.
It was crazy.
And I'm sitting there going, and he would lose $50,000, you know what I mean?
In 20 minutes.
And not care.
And not care.
And I would just be like sweating.
Because he brought me, because he thought I was a good luck charm.
Right?
Chang will bring us luck.
Yeah, Chang.
He lost a lot of money.
Yeah, bad luck charm.
And then he goes, you're not good luck.
Yeah.
And the next day, right?
So I had that experience with Rob Cullen.
But he liked you.
Yeah, we're friends.
Okay.
So then, now I'm on a show where his brother and him are show running.
And they didn't want me.
They wanted Getty Wananabe.
And so I had like two pages of like dialogue in it.
And David Swimmer was the director from Friends.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
So Swimmer directed it.
The swim dog.
So every day I would show up, Swimmer would walk up to me and go, hey, man.
They cut a page.
It's your page.
Yeah.
And I go, okay, so yeah, it's just this big chunk in the front.
So, you know, you're introducing, you know what I mean?
You're introducing yourself.
Yeah.
But it'll be great when the show gets picked up, you know what I mean?
They'll give you more lines.
So go, okay.
The next day, Chunk's gone.
Chunk is gone.
And I go, what do you mean?
Just gone.
You have a line.
You have a line now.
And I go, what does that mean?
Chunk, listen, you know, I'm on Friends.
I was on Friends.
I know how these work.
These things work.
You're fine.
Yeah.
You just want to test.
Okay.
You know what I mean?
But in my head, I'm like.
You're fine.
I was on Friends.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What does that even mean?
I don't know.
I was on one of the most successful sitcoms.
You're fine.
But the experience.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
You're going to be fine.
Yeah.
Next day.
The line's gone.
The line's gone.
I go, what do I do then?
You walk in.
You walk in, you walk out.
You don't even say hi?
No.
You sound like me and disaster artists.
Right?
So, but then, but, so I'm on it for like a week and a half, right?
Two weeks, a lot, you know, so you're rehearsing every day.
Oh, God.
Every day gets worse and worse.
And now, boils are forming on my head.
What do you mean?
Stress boils or something?
Yeah.
Gigantic boils are stress on my head.
Yeah.
And I was smoking like 15 packs of cigarettes outside.
Because you thought you were going to get canned from the show.
I didn't know what was going on.
I had never been in this situation before.
Right.
It was so uncomfortable.
But then, like, I would, I thought, you know, Brooke Shields is the star.
So, I remember walking right up to her one morning.
And she's at, like, craft service.
I look her right in the eye.
It's like, good morning.
And she just kind of looks at me and walks away.
That's why you hate Brooke Shields?
Yeah.
Bob.
That's such a stretch.
No.
You said good morning and she just walked.
She didn't talk to me all week.
What if she didn't hear you?
No, no.
It's not that.
Or see you.
She's taller than you, isn't she?
The scene that I'm walking in.
She's probably 5'10".
The scene I'm walking in and out of.
Yeah.
I'm obviously there on set rehearsing, right?
How tall is Brooke Shields?
Rudy, will you look that up?
How tall is Brooke Shields?
Right.
I'm obviously right.
Yeah.
And she won't even lock eyes with me.
I don't.
You don't think I fucking know when somebody doesn't like me?
It's not that.
It is that.
What if she didn't?
No.
It's this.
She knew I was on my way out.
So she didn't need to.
She wrote you off.
Yeah, she didn't need to make that connection, right?
God, I hope I...
But here's the answer.
Yeah.
To everyone's question.
Mm-hmm.
I'm still here.
You're still...
Papa's still here.
I'm still here.
Papa's still here.
Right?
And it's like, I think I deserve a little bit of an amends from the Cullen
brothers.
I don't think she did that on purpose.
How tall is she?
Six.
She's six feet.
Six foot?
She's six feet tall.
She's six foot five?
Let's just say she was in heels that day.
No.
She's 6'1, 6'2.
She's 6'1, 6'2.
Two weeks?
Come on, man.
But you're so low to the earth.
How do you know she...
All right.
She could see right over you.
And she hears this little voice.
So no one said hi to Peter Dinklage on fucking Game of Thrones.
Did you not hear that story?
The first day he showed up, they didn't even know he was there.
He acted a whole day.
They didn't even know he was there.
Yeah, that's so fucking funny.
That's so funny.
Don't say fuck Brooke Shields because of that.
That's such a small...
That's not even a real thing.
No, because...
Wait, can I give you a story of embarrassment now?
How about this?
I'll give you one of them.
Okay, go ahead.
Not fuck these people.
But here's how I felt.
Like a real moron.
Okay, go ahead.
Okay?
I get a phone call that they're like, they're doing a read of Funny or Die and
they need
you to read for this movie.
It's called House something.
Will Ferrell and...
It's the gambling...
You know they had a...
Oh, the gambling movie.
Casino movie in their house.
Yeah, with Amy Poehler.
Exactly.
Yeah.
I get amped.
They're like, they love you.
They don't even need...
They're just gonna have this role for you as this dude that comes in, pretends
to be a
cop, but he's really just like a fuck up looking to steal stuff.
I go to Funny or Die.
Dude, I'm so good in a room that I'm...
When I have confidence that I'm like, I'm gonna be fine.
You know what I mean?
Like I never go in shook.
I'm never like nervous.
I'm always like, I'm gonna be fine.
What the fuck?
Dude, who cares?
I've done a million table reads.
I get in there.
You did a table read, not an audition.
No, no.
We were reading for the...
They already were giving me the part.
Oh, so you're now a table read.
Yeah, because they said they didn't have time to cast...
They had to shoot the movie.
So they were like, we're just gonna give...
They're like, we have a role for you.
You can have it.
You have to come to the read, though, and you have to read...
Oh, my God.
They go, you have to read the role, and you have to read two other roles.
Oh, my...
Don't you hate when they do that, by the way?
I don't want to...
Yeah, I don't know how to do the other one.
I don't know...
You show up, you show up.
You worked on the lines that you're playing, right?
I know these roles.
And then when you show up, you see in the front page, cop, you know what I mean?
Passager number one.
Mailman.
And yeah, and then you go, I have to read these.
And then you have to do a different voice.
And first take.
You've never done it before.
You've never done it before.
And then someone in...
A production assistant comes up to you and goes, we've highlighted a couple of
their characters.
And you're like, oh, my God.
I hate it.
So I'm like this.
I'm thumbing through them trying to find where the characters are.
Because, by the way, if you mess up the rhythm of the room, you look like an
asshole.
Right?
So here I am.
I'm going, Will Ferrell's right there.
Amy's across the table.
Kroll is there.
Nick Kroll?
Yeah.
Nick's like the only guy that I like...
Right, right.
No, no in the room.
Right, right, right.
And Nick's like, what's up, man?
I'm like, hey, what's up?
So that made me feel comfortable.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, I get to...
Great guy, by the way.
Yeah, love Nick.
I get to my line that I know.
Yeah, yeah.
And I fuck it up.
And I fuck it up so bad.
Why?
Because...
You got nervous?
Yes.
I know you get intimidated.
Because Will Ferrell looked over at me when I was going to read my line.
Oh, no!
As if to say like, oh, I don't know this guy.
Let's see if he's funny.
Oh, no!
Dude, I ate such a massive, thick, veiny penis.
Did you blush?
Can you get more red than this?
Oh, my God, yeah.
No, I was so embarrassed.
Dude, I literally...
Let's just say the line...
And it was quick.
It was...
They got to be outside behind...
They have to be outside because I just climbed through the roof.
It was something like that.
Like, people were on the run.
But now, tell me how you said it.
They have to outside if there's a roof.
Hey.
Everybody just kept going like it didn't happen because they were like, Jesus
fucking Christ.
They just kept reading.
Yeah.
And nobody looked up.
Nobody looked up at me.
No one looked up at me to be like, it's okay, it's okay, you fucked up.
No, they kept going.
I'm getting PTSD.
What do you think I did for the other lines?
I fucked them up!
I fucked up every fucking line.
Yeah, yeah.
I swear to God, I'm not exaggerating.
Every fucking line...
And here's the thing...
For me, and especially for the other ones.
You're literally reading it.
I'm reading it.
I can't read.
You're literally reading it.
Can't read.
I can't fucking read.
I've been there.
You get so nervous...
So nervous.
That the lines become blurred.
Let me do this.
On the way out...
Wait, on the way out?
Yeah.
This is the face.
You're me, and I'm Will Ferrell.
Yeah.
Ready?
Yeah.
So say, say, uh, everyone...
Goodbye, everyone says goodbye.
And you're me, and you say, and you say, uh, thanks a lot.
Just say, thanks a lot to me.
That's what he did.
He breathed in and looked away.
And by the way, every right.
Will is right.
Will was right.
He breathed in and looked away.
As if to say...
You should kill yourself.
You're not...
Yeah.
You should have killed yourself.
It's on the eighth floor.
Jump out.
Yeah.
Jump out of the window.
Wow.
How are you still alive?
What do you think happened the next day?
You got the part.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Hello.
Hey, what's up, man?
It's your agent.
Hey, it's your agent.
Hey, what's up?
Yeah, I think they're going to slice up some stuff and move some stuff around.
So, we got you some stuff later this week, some auditions.
I was like, oh, they're going to cut it?
He's like, yeah, they're going to cut it.
They cut the whole role.
But you know what?
I thought for a second, I thought, they're just going to give it to somebody
else.
I lost.
I fucked it up.
They did cut the role.
But that being said...
But do you know why they cut the role?
Because I fucked it up.
Because you fucked it up.
Yeah, because I fucked it up.
They're like, this part is not well written.
Shouldn't be in here.
Yeah.
And by the way, it wasn't the writing.
Because an actor can't even fucking do it.
It wasn't the writing.
Yeah.
It was every inch of me.
It was me.
I literally...
On the way home, I'm like ready to throw up in my car.
And I'm like, oh, they're never going to work with me.
Like, these people are going to be like, that guy sucks.
You know what I mean?
And guess what?
Never worked with any of those people.
They think I suck.
I was like, they think I fucking suck.
Because I shit the bed.
Was Amy Poehler in the room?
Yeah, Amy was there.
Oh my...
Yeah.
Sitting right across from me.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.

"My Worst Table Read Ever" or Why I'll Never Work With Will Ferrell and Amy Poehler

We're bad friends.
Brooke Shields.
I said it.
Is what mean?
I fucking hate her.
Bing, bing, bing.
I fucking hate her, dude.
Wait, why?
Fucking hate her, dude.
What did she do, dude?
Dude, I fucking hate her.
Hey, Brooke Shields, what did you do, dude?
Dude, I hate ya.
What did she do?
So, um, and I'm gonna expose all kinds of people right now.
Because this story, I've always, like, kind of held in my heart.
Yeah.
But fuck it.
I don't give a fuck.
What did she do?
I'll tell you what she did.
I'll tell you what they did.
So, I'm on Mad TV, right?
Yeah.
And so, I get a call from Fox Television.
They go, hey, we want you on this other show.
What was the other show?
It was called New Car Smell.
What?
It's got a shitty idea.
Right.
It's got that New Car Smell.
Right, so it's...
Let me guess, it's a sitcom about car salesmen.
Yes.
Yeah.
Okay, it's called New Car Smell.
Bad pitch.
And, um, Brooke Shields is the star.
Okay?
Okay.
And, um, so, then I get a call going, you know, us as a network, we want you on
the show.
Mm-hmm.
But the showrunners don't want you on the show.
Why?
Because they want Getty Wananabi.
Oh.
You know who that is?
Yes.
He does, he was Long Duck Dong from 16 Candles.
Yeah, I, I, yes.
So then I just call, I go...
Is he alive?
Yeah, Getty's alive.
Okay.
And I go, um, I was a kid.
I was, what, 28 years old?
Yeah.
So I go, yeah, I don't want to do it then.
And they're like, it's a lot of money.
It's a great, it's a network prime time.
You're on a late night Saturday show that no one watches.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
You got to, come on, we want you.
Yeah.
So I go, who else is in it?
And they go, a couple of names.
Dave Attell.
Huge.
Right?
And then it was, um, you know who else had a couple, a guest star was Jimmy Schubert.
I love Jimmy Schubert.
So I love Jimmy.
So I go, yeah, I'll do it then.
But then, so it's the Cullen brothers are the showrunners.
The Cullen brothers?
Yeah.
So Rob Cullen, Rob Cullen used to hang out with Dice.
Huh?
And Dice, me and Rob Cullen went to Vegas one time when I was a kid.
I was 25.
And, and, and Dice lost hundreds of thousand dollars.
Dude, I've heard he loves gambling.
Yeah.
So Dice took me, he used to call me Ching.
So I was, I was working the back door and he goes, Hey Ching, you know, me and
Rob Cullen
are going to go to Vegas, get in the fucking car.
I'm working the back door.
They want to drive to Vegas?
No.
Oh.
I'm wearing a comedy store t-shirt and I have no money.
And I go, what?
I'm working.
No, I talked to the manager.
So I literally, no money, no clothes.
Right.
Just got in a car with them and drove to LAX.
To go to Vegas.
Yes.
What?
Yeah.
You, Dice, and Cullen.
Me, Dice, and this guy, Rob Cullen.
Okay.
So we go to Vegas and we're sitting at the blackjack, the high end ones.
And, and, and Dice would fucking throw down $10,000 hands.
$10,000 hands.
$10,000 hands.
Yeah.
He was making that kind of money?
He was a multi, multimillionaire.
I know, but $10,000 hands is insane.
Yeah, it was crazy.
It was crazy.
And I'm sitting there going, and he would lose $50,000, you know what I mean?
In 20 minutes.
And not care.
And not care.
And I would just be like sweating.
Because he brought me, because he thought I was a good luck charm.
Right?
Chang will bring us luck.
Yeah, Chang.
He lost a lot of money.
Yeah, bad luck charm.
And then he goes, you're not good luck.
Yeah.
And the next day, right?
So I had that experience with Rob Cullen.
But he liked you.
Yeah, we're friends.
Okay.
So then, now I'm on a show where his brother and him are show running.
And they didn't want me.
They wanted Getty Wananabe.
And so I had like two pages of like dialogue in it.
And David Swimmer was the director from Friends.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
So Swimmer directed it.
The swim dog.
So every day I would show up, Swimmer would walk up to me and go, hey, man.
They cut a page.
It's your page.
Yeah.
And I go, okay, so yeah, it's just this big chunk in the front.
So, you know, you're introducing, you know what I mean?
You're introducing yourself.
Yeah.
But it'll be great when the show gets picked up, you know what I mean?
They'll give you more lines.
So go, okay.
The next day, Chunk's gone.
Chunk is gone.
And I go, what do you mean?
Just gone.
You have a line.
You have a line now.
And I go, what does that mean?
Chunk, listen, you know, I'm on Friends.
I was on Friends.
I know how these work.
These things work.
You're fine.
Yeah.
You just want to test.
Okay.
You know what I mean?
But in my head, I'm like.
You're fine.
I was on Friends.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What does that even mean?
I don't know.
I was on one of the most successful sitcoms.
You're fine.
But the experience.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
You're going to be fine.
Yeah.
Next day.
The line's gone.
The line's gone.
I go, what do I do then?
You walk in.
You walk in, you walk out.
You don't even say hi?
No.
You sound like me and disaster artists.
Right?
So, but then, but, so I'm on it for like a week and a half, right?
Two weeks, a lot, you know, so you're rehearsing every day.
Oh, God.
Every day gets worse and worse.
And now, boils are forming on my head.
What do you mean?
Stress boils or something?
Yeah.
Gigantic boils are stress on my head.
Yeah.
And I was smoking like 15 packs of cigarettes outside.
Because you thought you were going to get canned from the show.
I didn't know what was going on.
I had never been in this situation before.
Right.
It was so uncomfortable.
But then, like, I would, I thought, you know, Brooke Shields is the star.
So, I remember walking right up to her one morning.
And she's at, like, craft service.
I look her right in the eye.
It's like, good morning.
And she just kind of looks at me and walks away.
That's why you hate Brooke Shields?
Yeah.
Bob.
That's such a stretch.
No.
You said good morning and she just walked.
She didn't talk to me all week.
What if she didn't hear you?
No, no.
It's not that.
Or see you.
She's taller than you, isn't she?
The scene that I'm walking in.
She's probably 5'10".
The scene I'm walking in and out of.
Yeah.
I'm obviously there on set rehearsing, right?
How tall is Brooke Shields?
Rudy, will you look that up?
How tall is Brooke Shields?
Right.
I'm obviously right.
Yeah.
And she won't even lock eyes with me.
I don't.
You don't think I fucking know when somebody doesn't like me?
It's not that.
It is that.
What if she didn't?
No.
It's this.
She knew I was on my way out.
So she didn't need to.
She wrote you off.
Yeah, she didn't need to make that connection, right?
God, I hope I...
But here's the answer.
Yeah.
To everyone's question.
Mm-hmm.
I'm still here.
You're still...
Papa's still here.
I'm still here.
Papa's still here.
Right?
And it's like, I think I deserve a little bit of an amends from the Cullen
brothers.
I don't think she did that on purpose.
How tall is she?
Six.
She's six feet.
Six foot?
She's six feet tall.
She's six foot five?
Let's just say she was in heels that day.
No.
She's 6'1, 6'2.
She's 6'1, 6'2.
Two weeks?
Come on, man.
But you're so low to the earth.
How do you know she...
All right.
She could see right over you.
And she hears this little voice.
So no one said hi to Peter Dinklage on fucking Game of Thrones.
Did you not hear that story?
The first day he showed up, they didn't even know he was there.
He acted a whole day.
They didn't even know he was there.
Yeah, that's so fucking funny.
That's so funny.
Don't say fuck Brooke Shields because of that.
That's such a small...
That's not even a real thing.
No, because...
Wait, can I give you a story of embarrassment now?
How about this?
I'll give you one of them.
Okay, go ahead.
Not fuck these people.
But here's how I felt.
Like a real moron.
Okay, go ahead.
Okay?
I get a phone call that they're like, they're doing a read of Funny or Die and
they need
you to read for this movie.
It's called House something.
Will Ferrell and...
It's the gambling...
You know they had a...
Oh, the gambling movie.
Casino movie in their house.
Yeah, with Amy Poehler.
Exactly.
Yeah.
I get amped.
They're like, they love you.
They don't even need...
They're just gonna have this role for you as this dude that comes in, pretends
to be a
cop, but he's really just like a fuck up looking to steal stuff.
I go to Funny or Die.
Dude, I'm so good in a room that I'm...
When I have confidence that I'm like, I'm gonna be fine.
You know what I mean?
Like I never go in shook.
I'm never like nervous.
I'm always like, I'm gonna be fine.
What the fuck?
Dude, who cares?
I've done a million table reads.
I get in there.
You did a table read, not an audition.
No, no.
We were reading for the...
They already were giving me the part.
Oh, so you're now a table read.
Yeah, because they said they didn't have time to cast...
They had to shoot the movie.
So they were like, we're just gonna give...
They're like, we have a role for you.
You can have it.
You have to come to the read, though, and you have to read...
Oh, my God.
They go, you have to read the role, and you have to read two other roles.
Oh, my...
Don't you hate when they do that, by the way?
I don't want to...
Yeah, I don't know how to do the other one.
I don't know...
You show up, you show up.
You worked on the lines that you're playing, right?
I know these roles.
And then when you show up, you see in the front page, cop, you know what I mean?
Passager number one.
Mailman.
And yeah, and then you go, I have to read these.
And then you have to do a different voice.
And first take.
You've never done it before.
You've never done it before.
And then someone in...
A production assistant comes up to you and goes, we've highlighted a couple of
their characters.
And you're like, oh, my God.
I hate it.
So I'm like this.
I'm thumbing through them trying to find where the characters are.
Because, by the way, if you mess up the rhythm of the room, you look like an
asshole.
Right?
So here I am.
I'm going, Will Ferrell's right there.
Amy's across the table.
Kroll is there.
Nick Kroll?
Yeah.
Nick's like the only guy that I like...
Right, right.
No, no in the room.
Right, right, right.
And Nick's like, what's up, man?
I'm like, hey, what's up?
So that made me feel comfortable.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, I get to...
Great guy, by the way.
Yeah, love Nick.
I get to my line that I know.
Yeah, yeah.
And I fuck it up.
And I fuck it up so bad.
Why?
Because...
You got nervous?
Yes.
I know you get intimidated.
Because Will Ferrell looked over at me when I was going to read my line.
Oh, no!
As if to say like, oh, I don't know this guy.
Let's see if he's funny.
Oh, no!
Dude, I ate such a massive, thick, veiny penis.
Did you blush?
Can you get more red than this?
Oh, my God, yeah.
No, I was so embarrassed.
Dude, I literally...
Let's just say the line...
And it was quick.
It was...
They got to be outside behind...
They have to be outside because I just climbed through the roof.
It was something like that.
Like, people were on the run.
But now, tell me how you said it.
They have to outside if there's a roof.
Hey.
Everybody just kept going like it didn't happen because they were like, Jesus
fucking Christ.
They just kept reading.
Yeah.
And nobody looked up.
Nobody looked up at me.
No one looked up at me to be like, it's okay, it's okay, you fucked up.
No, they kept going.
I'm getting PTSD.
What do you think I did for the other lines?
I fucked them up!
I fucked up every fucking line.
Yeah, yeah.
I swear to God, I'm not exaggerating.
Every fucking line...
And here's the thing...
For me, and especially for the other ones.
You're literally reading it.
I'm reading it.
I can't read.
You're literally reading it.
Can't read.
I can't fucking read.
I've been there.
You get so nervous...
So nervous.
That the lines become blurred.
Let me do this.
On the way out...
Wait, on the way out?
Yeah.
This is the face.
You're me, and I'm Will Ferrell.
Yeah.
Ready?
Yeah.
So say, say, uh, everyone...
Goodbye, everyone says goodbye.
And you're me, and you say, and you say, uh, thanks a lot.
Just say, thanks a lot to me.
That's what