Name: What Got Bobby Lee Into Stand Up | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2020-07-11T21:00:13.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'What Got Bobby Lee Into Stand Up | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'What Got Bobby Lee Into Stand Up | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-11. Transcript available.

We're bald friends.
One time, I'm going to tell you this story.
This is so sad.
So I was a waiter at this restaurant.
Which one?
It's called the Brockton Villa.
Ooh, in San Diego?
In La Jolla.
That's very nice.
I know what that is.
It's on the Cove.
Yeah.
And I worked there for years, and there was this girl that I had the biggest
crush on.
In fact, I hung out with her every day for about a year.
In fact...
As a friend?
Well, I...
Did she know?
No, she didn't know.
But I had this big crush on her.
In fact, I would go to this coffee shop on my off days, because one time I saw
her there.
Yeah.
And I would stay there all day, just so...
In case?
In case.
And then if I did...
She never came in there again.
Right.
But just in case, if I did run into her, I'd be like, oh, what are you doing
here?
Oh, do you like coffee?
Yeah, yeah.
So one night, and this is a year, every day, I would either call her or hang
out with her.
I would ask for shifts that she was working, because she was right.
Yeah.
So one day, she was supposed to hang out with me, and I go, what are you doing?
And she goes, I know we were supposed to hang out, but I'm sick.
Oh, no, you're not.
I go, oh, you're sick?
Okay, cool.
So then, my other friend goes, there's this party.
So I go to the party, and then some girl came up to me.
She goes, oh, are you here with so-and-so?
She's here.
Oh, no.
Right?
I go, she is?
No.
She had lied.
Oh, no.
And she's with someone else?
Yes.
And I'm looking all over the party for her.
It gets worse.
So then, I hear, she's in this bedroom.
Upstairs.
Yeah, I'm not kidding you.
And then you instinctively, you're like, she must be taking a nap at the party.
Yeah, yeah.
She might be tired.
So I walked in.
Why would you do that?
And she is hooking up with this guy.
Yeah, obviously.
So I close the door.
Do you say anything?
No.
You just walk in and go, she saw me, though.
Yeah.
She goes, what are you doing?
And you go, he's a really nice bathroom.
He's a good door.
Yeah, yeah.
Right.
And I remember going out in the back of the party, and I punched a tree 50
times.
Because you were just so angry and so hurt.
Yeah.
And she ended up marrying that guy.
Oh, well, then it's worth it.
They have kids.
Oh, that's worth it, then.
They should have named one of their kids Lee.
No, but I remember.
That hurts a lot.
I remember still, even after Matt TV, because they moved to San Francisco, and
she lives
like an hour outside of San Francisco.
I remember playing the room there, and then she would always drive, you know
what I mean?
With her husband?
No, by herself, to come have lunch with me.
That's really sweet.
Yeah, she's sweet.
That's really nice.
Yeah.
So it started off bad, but it ended really nice.
You know, because that event happened right before I did stand-up.
Yeah.
And I believe that that event drove me into doing stand-up.
Really?
Yeah.
There was a couple things.
I was kicked out of a band called Lax and Superb.
We've seen it.
We love your band.
We Lax and Superb.
And then that had happened.
And then also, I had no money and I had no future.
I remember sitting, looking at my bank account, it said like 76 cents.
And I remember just going, I got to call my parents for rent.
I have no money.
Ugh.
And then I remember going, I have to do something drastic or this is the life I'm
going to live.
Yeah.
Just struggling.
Yeah.
And so, without, and then I'm never going to meet anybody.
Oh, God.
All those feelings of doom.
All those feelings of doom.
I was 22 years old.
And you were scared.
I was scared.
And then at 23, I walked by the comedy store in La Jolla.
What's her name?
The first name?
Anna.
Anna.
Thank you, Anna.
Thank you, Anna.
And I walked by the comedy store and the help wanted sign and I knocked on the
door.
That's incredible.
That's how it worked for you.
Mm-hmm.
I'll tell you an embarrassing story that doesn't end so sweet.
Tell me.
My first year in college.
Yeah.
A girl, a girl two doors down who I became friends with.
We all became friends later.
But I had such a crush on her.
I thought she was so cool.
She was so cool, dude.
And she was pretty and she was nice and she was athletic.
First name.
I gave you mine.
Carrie.
Okay.
It's just she was so cool.
Yeah, yeah.
And I was nervous.
I know.
And I stupidly, stupidly wrote a note one night and slid it under.
Stop laughing, Rudy.
I wrote a note.
I know.
It's so lame.
I wrote a note and I slid it under her dorm door.
Okay?
Did I have a question?
Yes or no?
Questions?
No.
It basically was like, I just want to let you know.
You know, I think you're so cool and I'd love to hang out sometime.
And I was so nervous.
And she never, ever told me that she got the note.
We never, ever talked about it.
Oh, how embarrassing.
Oh, no.
Oh, poor Andrew.
We became friends.
But did you ever walk by her?
We became really close.
So basically.
But after that, she actually dated another friend of ours.
Right.
But after that, it was like, in the past at some point, we all became cool on
our floor and hung out.
It was real embarrassing.
Yeah.
It's, you know what I call those pretend it didn't happen moments.
Yeah.
Oh, I didn't get your note.
Yeah.
She probably got it and goes, I have to, for me to, in order for me to move on
in life,
I had to either accept this as reality or pretend it didn't happen.
And that's what happened.
This didn't happen.
I think, first of all, she showed it to all the other girls making fun of me.
She probably got all the girls on the dorm floor.
It was a shame shit session.
Yeah.
We're like, you know what that stupid, redheaded piece of shit loser said?
You know the freak?
The unfuckable?
You know what the freak said to me?
Yeah.
And he thinks I'm cute.
And they're like, ew!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, people, you know what guys don't realize?
You know how, like, some people, guys, you know, like, you know, will snap?
I don't get any pussy!
And they'll snap, and they'll just shoot up a mall.
And they'll kill a school?
Shoot up a mall.
Yeah.
What these guys don't realize is none of us got any.
Yeah, when you're, yeah, yeah.
That's a part of growing up is these frustrations of love loss or not getting
attention to women.
You don't go shoot up a school.
You don't, no.
You just get on the internet and feverishly masturbate hoping that your college
roommate doesn't come home.
Yeah.
Did you ever, I had those scares, you didn't really go to college, so like, you
never had that.
Oh, fuck you.
Well, no, you didn't.
I didn't.
But I had worries all the time of timing.
If my roommate was, like, going out, I knew I could masturbate.
And he'd be like, hey, I'm going to go to the gym for a while.
And I'm like, how long is a while?
He's like, oh, like an hour.
I'm like, okay.
And like the moment he's gone, it's like.
But I did, no, but I did live in my early 20s with six guys in San Diego and in
a three-bedroom apartment.
Oh, two guys to a room?
No, people lived on the living room.
Oh, just spread out everywhere.
Yeah, right.
And we lived with a Christian.
Okay.
With a man, with a man of God.
He was, he, he was not only just a man, devout, born-again Christian.
Oh, so he was, did you?
Red-headed guy, no offense.
No offense taken.
And Alex.
And then I remember one time coming home from work and he's crying on the couch.
And I go, what's the matter?
And in his hand was one of my Hustler magazines.
Oh, you pervert.
I know.
And I go, and he gets up and he goes, how dare you lay these things around so
that I can sin?
And I go, what happened?
These pages are all stuck together.
And he goes, I've been masturbating all day.
Right?
And he, he was also a guy.
And he blamed me for sinning.
You made him masturbate.
I just left it like.
Right out in the open.
In the bathroom or something.
Oh, that, yeah.
He goes, how dare you?
I can't poop without getting a boner.
This piece of shit too would get Sonny Delight.
Love Sonny D.
Sonny D is delicious.
So good.
And I couldn't afford Sonny Delight.
That's how poor I was.
Yeah.
But I was, so I would steal his Sonny Delight.
And he came up to me and was, excuse me?
I work very hard and I've been saving my money to get the Sonny Delight.
And I go, yeah.
And he goes, and I would have really appreciated that if you not drink out of
my Sonny Delight.
And for me to now figure out, and I have a system now.
See this line?
So he would take a black marker.
And mark every time he had a drink?
He would drink and mark it.
Idiot.
Idiot, right?
Because what I would do is fill it with water.
So eventually it was just water.
This piece of shit.
He still doesn't want to believe it too.
He's just like, the Sonny Delight tastes watery, but it's still my Sonny Delight.
Yeah.
I lived in a house.
I had a, when I first moved out here, I lived in a two bedroom, one bath.
And it was three of us sharing one bathroom.
I lived in an old dining room, a partitioned-off dining room.
But my most fun too-many-guys house was my second year in college.
We all lived together.
And we were, our house was a constant revolving door of just people coming and
going and partying
and hanging out.
And there were no rules.
People could just do whatever they wanted.
That's how kind of all of those houses were in college.
Yeah.
And one of my buddies, this was great, we got kicked out of a party because one
guy
in our group was trying to, got into an argument or a fight with some dude,
right?
Yeah.
And my buddy says, my buddy says, all right, let's get the fuck out of here
before something
crazy happens.
We leave.
We get in the car and we're all fucking, we're all shit-faced, by the way.
Bad, no drinking and driving's bad.
Our driver was sober, I bet.
But he goes, fuck those guys.
I go, yeah, it's fucking, it sucks.
We always party over there, that sucks.
And he goes, I got them good.
I was like, what did you do?
And he just holds up an eight ball, a pool ball.
He goes, I stole their eight ball from their pool table.
I was like, why?
What are we going to, he goes, you know how hard it is to buy one single pool
ball and
all those fucking idiots are going to buy a whole new ball of pool ball sets.
Really?
That was his revenge.
Were you like, were you laughing?
No, we were like, I was like, that's cool.
I think that's pretty cool.
I go, who made you think of that?
And he goes, I just saw it and I was like, I'll fucking take from them.
I'm going to take a pool ball.
That's pretty cool.
They're never, they're never, they're never going to know where I went.
This is the same guy.
This is my, my old college roommate who the same guy, he was so, so depressed.
He's going to listen to this.
He was so depressed that he failed math for like the n-teenth time and we were
at a party
and he was sitting with his butt on the floor and his back against the couch
and he had
a handle of Jack Daniels sitting in his lap.
And I go, come on, man, you're being really weird, man.
You can't do this kind of stuff at a party.
Like people are going to be fucking freaked out that like this weirdo is blacked
out by
himself.
It's like, get up.
You either got to go home or you got to party with us.
And he, no shit.
He just goes, oh, and I go, are you going to throw up?
And he goes, and he looks up in the sky and he, fountain throws up like two,
three feet
in the sky.
But I respect him.
He held his shirt out and he caught it in his shirt.
I'm not kidding.
I have witnesses in his shirt and he, and he goes, he goes, but take me outside
and I have
to pick him up and he's wiping puke off of his shirt.
And I go, you, are you going to go home?
He goes, I think it's time.
I think it's time to go home.
This guy was, he was, he was a, the best guy to party with, but also like you.
Yeah.
Who knows what's going to happen?
Right.
Who knows where it's going to go?
I have a friend named Nathan.
Nathan, I swear to God, he was in the blue man group.
Shut up.
I swear to God.
Like the, the blue man group wasn't, it's not always the same guy.
I know.
There's a million of them.
There's a million of them.
Right.
Yeah.
But he was an alcoholic, Nathan.
Right.
And my friend Kalisto told me and Nathan backed it up.
You know my friend Kalisto?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, um, Nathan was completely drunk in Vegas doing the blue man group and he
was a blackout
drunk.
Right.
And he vomited into his drums, but then he had to fucking splatter into his
face.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The colors are getting out of that drum.
It was insane.
Speaking of my friend Kalisto, so my friend Kalisto and I lived in Silver Lake.
We had, we, we, every day we'd go, there was an El Pollo Loco across the street
and we
would buy a B, um, BRC burrito.
What is that?
Bean, rice and cheese burrito.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And we would split it in half and that was our meal.
They're our dollar.
That was all you could afford?
That's all we could afford to eat.
For the day?
Yeah.
Wow.
And we would have, just thinking back, these arguments, like, like over the
phone bill.
You know how you would get enraged?
Oh, yeah.
He'd just be like, we live in Silver Lake.
Who calls Santa Monica?
Right?
What?
Are you like, what?
I'm not paying the 76 cents.
Like those kind of arguments when you're so poor.
Yeah.
Now it'd be like, oh, I don't get, you know, you don't even look at it.
76 cents.
Well, there is no phone bill anymore.
It doesn't exist.
It's before cell phones.
When you're, the arguments of when you're so poor.
Oh, like the arguments when you're so broke.
My first roommate, my first roommate ripped up the carpet in our house when I
first moved
here.
Yeah.
And I, and I came home, I said, what the fuck are you doing?
Yeah.
He goes, there's wood floors under here, man.
I was like, what the fuck?
We have to pay for that shit.
And he's like, I know.
We'll just tell the landlord there's wood floors, man.
And I was like, yeah, dude, we fucking, you ripped up the carpet, asshole.
And he was just like, well, I don't know what to do.
And I was like, I'm not paying a fucking security deposit.
I get all mine back.
Yeah.
Fuck you.
I'm not paying any of that shit.
You get these crazy arguments when you're poor.
Yeah.
Because you're so nervous that it's going to collapse you.
I mean, I, I, I had panic attacks that they were going to come get my car, my
first
car that I had, that I was leasing.
Yeah.
I was so nervous that I wasn't going to pay the bills that I thought, because I'd
seen
or heard of those things where they repo your car and they come, just take it
from you.
Even if your shit's in it, they're like, it's ours.
I know.
So I used to have panic attacks in the middle of the night that want, because I
didn't pay
a bill.
And I was like, they're going to just take my fucking car.
And then I won't be able to get to my shitty job to make my shitty rent.
And then they'll kick me out of this place.
I used to have those tumbling thoughts every night, every single night.
I had emotional feelings toward objects because of the experiences.
Yeah.
Because they meant so much.
I'm not even kidding you.
I had a white.
So when I moved to LA, I had a white Toyota truck.
And my friend, Jonathan Gossick, who was a comic, who I started with, he asked
him, there
were no windows.
In the truck?
In the cab?
They were all blown out.
There were no windows.
Yeah.
Ask him.
So you would be in the winter driving down, you know what I mean?
No windows.
The 405.
You'd be so cold.
Imagine the wind.
Yeah.
And I remember I would park at LAX to go on the road, and I'd come back, right?
And I remember one time I came back, and there was one of those locks on the
wheels.
Oh, oh, they booted you.
They booted you.
Because I owed it money.
Yeah.
And I couldn't pay it.
No.
I'm not kidding you.
I walked up to the truck.
I put my hand on the hood, and I weeped like as if somebody had died.
Because somebody did die.
Because I would never see that truck again.
Did you never see it again?
No.
Oh, Bob.
Because I had to let it go.
I couldn't get it back.
So I remember going, thank you.
Like, I remember saying things to it like, thank you so much for Tijuana when
we went to
Tijuana.
Remember we got in the car accident, we got away with it.
When we hit that guy, we killed him, and no one knows but you and me?
Yeah, yeah.
And I remember just so many experiences in that truck.
Yeah, but it means so much.
And when you're poor, it means so much to you.

What Got Bobby Lee Into Stand Up | Bad Friends Clips

We're bald friends.
One time, I'm going to tell you this story.
This is so sad.
So I was a waiter at this restaurant.
Which one?
It's called the Brockton Villa.
Ooh, in San Diego?
In La Jolla.
That's very nice.
I know what that is.
It's on the Cove.
Yeah.
And I worked there for years, and there was this girl that I had the biggest
crush on.
In fact, I hung out with her every day for about a year.
In fact...
As a friend?
Well, I...
Did she know?
No, she didn't know.
But I had this big crush on her.
In fact, I would go to this coffee shop on my off days, because one time I saw
her there.
Yeah.
And I would stay there all day, just so...
In case?
In case.
And then if I did...
She never came in there again.
Right.
But just in case, if I did run into her, I'd be like, oh, what are you doing
here?
Oh, do you like coffee?
Yeah, yeah.
So one night, and this is a year, every day, I would either call her or hang
out with her.
I would ask for shifts that she was working, because she was right.
Yeah.
So one day, she was supposed to hang out with me, and I go, what are you doing?
And she goes, I know we were supposed to hang out, but I'm sick.
Oh, no, you're not.
I go, oh, you're sick?
Okay, cool.
So then, my other friend goes, there's this party.
So I go to the party, and then some girl came up to me.
She goes, oh, are you here with so-and-so?
She's here.
Oh, no.
Right?
I go, she is?
No.
She had lied.
Oh, no.
And she's with someone else?
Yes.
And I'm looking all over the party for her.
It gets worse.
So then, I hear, she's in this bedroom.
Upstairs.
Yeah, I'm not kidding you.
And then you instinctively, you're like, she must be taking a nap at the party.
Yeah, yeah.
She might be tired.
So I walked in.
Why would you do that?
And she is hooking up with this guy.
Yeah, obviously.
So I close the door.
Do you say anything?
No.
You just walk in and go, she saw me, though.
Yeah.
She goes, what are you doing?
And you go, he's a really nice bathroom.
He's a good door.
Yeah, yeah.
Right.
And I remember going out in the back of the party, and I punched a tree 50
times.
Because you were just so angry and so hurt.
Yeah.
And she ended up marrying that guy.
Oh, well, then it's worth it.
They have kids.
Oh, that's worth it, then.
They should have named one of their kids Lee.
No, but I remember.
That hurts a lot.
I remember still, even after Matt TV, because they moved to San Francisco, and
she lives
like an hour outside of San Francisco.
I remember playing the room there, and then she would always drive, you know
what I mean?
With her husband?
No, by herself, to come have lunch with me.
That's really sweet.
Yeah, she's sweet.
That's really nice.
Yeah.
So it started off bad, but it ended really nice.
You know, because that event happened right before I did stand-up.
Yeah.
And I believe that that event drove me into doing stand-up.
Really?
Yeah.
There was a couple things.
I was kicked out of a band called Lax and Superb.
We've seen it.
We love your band.
We Lax and Superb.
And then that had happened.
And then also, I had no money and I had no future.
I remember sitting, looking at my bank account, it said like 76 cents.
And I remember just going, I got to call my parents for rent.
I have no money.
Ugh.
And then I remember going, I have to do something drastic or this is the life I'm
going to live.
Yeah.
Just struggling.
Yeah.
And so, without, and then I'm never going to meet anybody.
Oh, God.
All those feelings of doom.
All those feelings of doom.
I was 22 years old.
And you were scared.
I was scared.
And then at 23, I walked by the comedy store in La Jolla.
What's her name?
The first name?
Anna.
Anna.
Thank you, Anna.
Thank you, Anna.
And I walked by the comedy store and the help wanted sign and I knocked on the
door.
That's incredible.
That's how it worked for you.
Mm-hmm.
I'll tell you an embarrassing story that doesn't end so sweet.
Tell me.
My first year in college.
Yeah.
A girl, a girl two doors down who I became friends with.
We all became friends later.
But I had such a crush on her.
I thought she was so cool.
She was so cool, dude.
And she was pretty and she was nice and she was athletic.
First name.
I gave you mine.
Carrie.
Okay.
It's just she was so cool.
Yeah, yeah.
And I was nervous.
I know.
And I stupidly, stupidly wrote a note one night and slid it under.
Stop laughing, Rudy.
I wrote a note.
I know.
It's so lame.
I wrote a note and I slid it under her dorm door.
Okay?
Did I have a question?
Yes or no?
Questions?
No.
It basically was like, I just want to let you know.
You know, I think you're so cool and I'd love to hang out sometime.
And I was so nervous.
And she never, ever told me that she got the note.
We never, ever talked about it.
Oh, how embarrassing.
Oh, no.
Oh, poor Andrew.
We became friends.
But did you ever walk by her?
We became really close.
So basically.
But after that, she actually dated another friend of ours.
Right.
But after that, it was like, in the past at some point, we all became cool on
our floor and hung out.
It was real embarrassing.
Yeah.
It's, you know what I call those pretend it didn't happen moments.
Yeah.
Oh, I didn't get your note.
Yeah.
She probably got it and goes, I have to, for me to, in order for me to move on
in life,
I had to either accept this as reality or pretend it didn't happen.
And that's what happened.
This didn't happen.
I think, first of all, she showed it to all the other girls making fun of me.
She probably got all the girls on the dorm floor.
It was a shame shit session.
Yeah.
We're like, you know what that stupid, redheaded piece of shit loser said?
You know the freak?
The unfuckable?
You know what the freak said to me?
Yeah.
And he thinks I'm cute.
And they're like, ew!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, people, you know what guys don't realize?
You know how, like, some people, guys, you know, like, you know, will snap?
I don't get any pussy!
And they'll snap, and they'll just shoot up a mall.
And they'll kill a school?
Shoot up a mall.
Yeah.
What these guys don't realize is none of us got any.
Yeah, when you're, yeah, yeah.
That's a part of growing up is these frustrations of love loss or not getting
attention to women.
You don't go shoot up a school.
You don't, no.
You just get on the internet and feverishly masturbate hoping that your college
roommate doesn't come home.
Yeah.
Did you ever, I had those scares, you didn't really go to college, so like, you
never had that.
Oh, fuck you.
Well, no, you didn't.
I didn't.
But I had worries all the time of timing.
If my roommate was, like, going out, I knew I could masturbate.
And he'd be like, hey, I'm going to go to the gym for a while.
And I'm like, how long is a while?
He's like, oh, like an hour.
I'm like, okay.
And like the moment he's gone, it's like.
But I did, no, but I did live in my early 20s with six guys in San Diego and in
a three-bedroom apartment.
Oh, two guys to a room?
No, people lived on the living room.
Oh, just spread out everywhere.
Yeah, right.
And we lived with a Christian.
Okay.
With a man, with a man of God.
He was, he, he was not only just a man, devout, born-again Christian.
Oh, so he was, did you?
Red-headed guy, no offense.
No offense taken.
And Alex.
And then I remember one time coming home from work and he's crying on the couch.
And I go, what's the matter?
And in his hand was one of my Hustler magazines.
Oh, you pervert.
I know.
And I go, and he gets up and he goes, how dare you lay these things around so
that I can sin?
And I go, what happened?
These pages are all stuck together.
And he goes, I've been masturbating all day.
Right?
And he, he was also a guy.
And he blamed me for sinning.
You made him masturbate.
I just left it like.
Right out in the open.
In the bathroom or something.
Oh, that, yeah.
He goes, how dare you?
I can't poop without getting a boner.
This piece of shit too would get Sonny Delight.
Love Sonny D.
Sonny D is delicious.
So good.
And I couldn't afford Sonny Delight.
That's how poor I was.
Yeah.
But I was, so I would steal his Sonny Delight.
And he came up to me and was, excuse me?
I work very hard and I've been saving my money to get the Sonny Delight.
And I go, yeah.
And he goes, and I would have really appreciated that if you not drink out of
my Sonny Delight.
And for me to now figure out, and I have a system now.
See this line?
So he would take a black marker.
And mark every time he had a drink?
He would drink and mark it.
Idiot.
Idiot, right?
Because what I would do is fill it with water.
So eventually it was just water.
This piece of shit.
He still doesn't want to believe it too.
He's just like, the Sonny Delight tastes watery, but it's still my Sonny Delight.
Yeah.
I lived in a house.
I had a, when I first moved out here, I lived in a two bedroom, one bath.
And it was three of us sharing one bathroom.
I lived in an old dining room, a partitioned-off dining room.
But my most fun too-many-guys house was my second year in college.
We all lived together.
And we were, our house was a constant revolving door of just people coming and
going and partying
and hanging out.
And there were no rules.
People could just do whatever they wanted.
That's how kind of all of those houses were in college.
Yeah.
And one of my buddies, this was great, we got kicked out of a party because one
guy
in our group was trying to, got into an argument or a fight with some dude,
right?
Yeah.
And my buddy says, my buddy says, all right, let's get the fuck out of here
before something
crazy happens.
We leave.
We get in the car and we're all fucking, we're all shit-faced, by the way.
Bad, no drinking and driving's bad.
Our driver was sober, I bet.
But he goes, fuck those guys.
I go, yeah, it's fucking, it sucks.
We always party over there, that sucks.
And he goes, I got them good.
I was like, what did you do?
And he just holds up an eight ball, a pool ball.
He goes, I stole their eight ball from their pool table.
I was like, why?
What are we going to, he goes, you know how hard it is to buy one single pool
ball and
all those fucking idiots are going to buy a whole new ball of pool ball sets.
Really?
That was his revenge.
Were you like, were you laughing?
No, we were like, I was like, that's cool.
I think that's pretty cool.
I go, who made you think of that?
And he goes, I just saw it and I was like, I'll fucking take from them.
I'm going to take a pool ball.
That's pretty cool.
They're never, they're never, they're never going to know where I went.
This is the same guy.
This is my, my old college roommate who the same guy, he was so, so depressed.
He's going to listen to this.
He was so depressed that he failed math for like the n-teenth time and we were
at a party
and he was sitting with his butt on the floor and his back against the couch
and he had
a handle of Jack Daniels sitting in his lap.
And I go, come on, man, you're being really weird, man.
You can't do this kind of stuff at a party.
Like people are going to be fucking freaked out that like this weirdo is blacked
out by
himself.
It's like, get up.
You either got to go home or you got to party with us.
And he, no shit.
He just goes, oh, and I go, are you going to throw up?
And he goes, and he looks up in the sky and he, fountain throws up like two,
three feet
in the sky.
But I respect him.
He held his shirt out and he caught it in his shirt.
I'm not kidding.
I have witnesses in his shirt and he, and he goes, he goes, but take me outside
and I have
to pick him up and he's wiping puke off of his shirt.
And I go, you, are you going to go home?
He goes, I think it's time.
I think it's time to go home.
This guy was, he was, he was a, the best guy to party with, but also like you.
Yeah.
Who knows what's going to happen?
Right.
Who knows where it's going to go?
I have a friend named Nathan.
Nathan, I swear to God, he was in the blue man group.
Shut up.
I swear to God.
Like the, the blue man group wasn't, it's not always the same guy.
I know.
There's a million of them.
There's a million of them.
Right.
Yeah.
But he was an 